But watch out for bears, or you may need to escape from the great outdoors.

You will need A cool head Acting skills A change of underwear A killer right hook and

a loyal pet, large enough to eat a bear. Step 1. If you’ve already had your head ripped off

during a bear encounter, we probably can’t help you. However, if the bear has not yet

ripped off your head because you saw him first, you should slowly and

quietly begin walking in the opposite direction until he’s out of sight. Then calmly stay

put for about a half hour. While you’re waiting, sing, talk, or make some noise. Also,

now is not the time for a smelly, bear-enticing snack! Step 2. With the coast clear, resume

your walk. But make noise so the bear knows you’re around. The truth is, that bear doesn’t

want to run into you, either. Step 3. Uh, oh. Despite your best efforts, Smokey The

Bear’s evil twin is suddenly standing in front of you, calmly considering his options.

First off, do not make eye contact. The bear will take it as a direct challenge to his

Step 4. Back away slowly while speaking in

Right about now would be a good time to make a deal with God. Step 5. Holy

crap, the bear is charging. Do not run! He will chase you down and rip your head off.

Instead, stand perfectly still. If he stops his charge, slowly back away again, speaking

softly. Step 6. If the bear attacks, protect your head with your arms, curl up in a fetal

position, and pretend you’re dead. Or try hitting him directly in the nose. Some experts

think a quick punch works better than submissiveness. Step 7. Next time, don’t go into the woods

without bear repellent pepper spray. Just be sure to familiarize yourself with its proper

use. Did you know You are more likely to be struck by lightning than mauled by a bear.