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How to Survive a Bear Attack. So you’ve finally escaped to the great outdoors. Good
如何從熊的魔掌逃生。你終於逃到了大自然,好極了。
But watch out for bears, or you may need to escape from the great outdoors.
但是要小心熊,否則您可能需要從大自然再逃回去。
You will need A cool head Acting skills A change of underwear A killer right hook and
你需要冷靜的頭腦,演技,和一套乾淨的換洗衣物。搭配選項: 殺手級的右鉤拳,
a loyal pet, large enough to eat a bear. Step 1. If you’ve already had your head ripped off
忠心的寵物,要大到能把熊吃掉。第一步:如果你一遇到熊就被牠把頭給扯掉了,
during a bear encounter, we probably can’t help you. However, if the bear has not yet
我們可能就愛莫能助。不過,
ripped off your head because you saw him first, you should slowly and
如果熊還沒扯下你的頭,因為是你先看到牠的,你應該慢慢地,
quietly begin walking in the opposite direction until he’s out of sight. Then calmly stay
悄悄地開始往相反的方向走,直到看不見牠為止。
put for about a half hour. While you’re waiting, sing, talk, or make some noise. Also,
然後冷靜地待在原地約一個半小時,一邊等待,唱歌,說話,或者弄出一些聲音。還有,
now is not the time for a smelly, bear-enticing snack! Step 2. With the coast clear, resume
現在不是吃這個香味四溢的誘熊點心的時候!第2步:把路徑摸清楚,走回原路線。
your walk. But make noise so the bear knows you’re around. The truth is, that bear doesn’t
但是要弄出聲音,讓熊知道你在附近。事實上,熊也不想遇到你。
want to run into you, either. Step 3. Uh, oh. Despite your best efforts, Smokey The
第3步:呃,哦。儘管你盡了最大努力,護林熊,
Bear’s evil twin is suddenly standing in front of you, calmly considering his options.
這個熊的邪惡雙胞胎還是突然站在你的面前,冷靜地考慮著牠的選項。
First off, do not make eye contact. The bear will take it as a direct challenge to his
首先,不要看牠的眼睛。熊會直接認為你在挑戰牠的權威,牠會把你的頭打掉。
Step 4. Back away slowly while speaking in
第4步:慢慢退回去,一邊小聲的講話。(好熊熊,乖熊熊)
Right about now would be a good time to make a deal with God. Step 5. Holy
此時此刻是求老天爺保佑的最佳時機了。第5步:哇靠! 熊正在暴走。
crap, the bear is charging. Do not run! He will chase you down and rip your head off.
千萬別跑!他會追到你,然後把你的頭打掉。
Instead, stand perfectly still. If he stops his charge, slowly back away again, speaking
相反的,要站著完全不動。如果牠停止暴走,要再次慢慢地退開,一邊小聲地說話。
softly. Step 6. If the bear attacks, protect your head with your arms, curl up in a fetal
第6步, 如果熊攻擊你,要用雙臂保護頭部,蜷縮成胎兒的姿態
position, and pretend you’re dead. Or try hitting him directly in the nose. Some experts
假裝死掉,或者嘗試直接揍牠的鼻子。一些專家認為
think a quick punch works better than submissiveness. Step 7. Next time, don’t go into the woods
賞牠一記快拳比裝乖巧更有用。第7步:下一次,
without bear repellent pepper spray. Just be sure to familiarize yourself with its proper
沒帶防熊辣椒噴霧不要進入森林,只是一定要熟悉它的正確用法。
use. Did you know You are more likely to be struck by lightning than mauled by a bear.
你知道嗎?被雷打到的機率還比被熊打到要高呢。