Here's the deal. We all get laid before we graduate.

Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid.

Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right?

Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated.

Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other.

I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track.

Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together,

we are the masters of our sexual destiny.

Their tiger-style kung fu is strong.

But our dragon-style will defeat it.

- Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite!

- Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys!

Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake.

We must make a stand, here and now.

No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused!

We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be.

This is our day. This is our time.

And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy.

- Amen. Yes. - I like that.

- We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time!

- We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!

[Cheering, Whooping]

Now, the sex: It's got to be valid, consensual sex.

- No prostitutes. That's what you're thinkin', Finch. - [Sucking Air]

[Laughs] Busted.

So, basically, prom is our last chance.