Let's talk about that!

Good mythical morning

It's christmas week!

Look at the set!

Lights everywhere

A few of them are blinking

We've got our stockings hung by the chimney with care

Which I have an issue with the stockings

What- What issue?

There's no issue.

I think it's self evident

There's an issue with my stocking

or it might be there's an issue with your stocking

One of them is not correct

It's force perspective.

Mine's a lot further away

It's like Will Ferrell in Elf

He was closer to the camera

Just like my stocking is just closer to you

Okay, alright.

Even though that's not true.

Ah, Merry Christmas to everyone.

Listen, uh...

You may think you know about christmas cause you're living it

But do you really?

I'm gonna put you to the test today, along with my friend Rhett. When I quiz him on all things Christmas knowledge.

It's time to play, "Does Rhett Know Stuff About Christmas? Or Is He Just a Christmas Grinch?"

Okay, Rhett. If you get at least four of these correct, you get what's in the nice stocking and I have to take what's in the naughty stocking.

Don't know what it is, but if you don't get four, you get what's in the naughty, I get what's in the nice. And you've got four life- three lifelines.

To help you put here.

First one is avalanche the answers, where two are removed by an avalanche of snow.

Uhh, you can also ask for a hint from Christmas past.

Oh, interesting.

Or, you can ask an actual elf to help you out.

Oh, an actual elf.

Are you ready to test your-

I am so ready!

weird Christmas fact knowledge?

I know so much about Christmas.

Eating a few poinsetta - or poinsettia depending on where you live -

Uhh... eating a few of those leaves will give little 7-year-old Jimmy nothing more than some nausea and vomiting.

Really?

In fact, he would have to fill his 50-pound frame with how many leaves to actually die from poinsettia poisoning?

Is it roughly thirty five leaves? About a thousand leaves? Around five hundred and fifty leaves?

Or zero leaves because Aunt Becky is going to kill him first for ruining her immaculate Christmas decorations for the third year in a row!?

Well if you had to die on Christmas, poinsettia poisoning wouldn't be a bad way to go.

Gotta eat some leaves, though. How many?

It'd be a festive way to go.

It'd be a long way to go depending on how many leaves.

So a few leaves give ya-

A few leaves, eh don't worry about it, he's just gonna vomit.

Hmm...

Thirty five? A thousand? Or five fifty?

Uh, I think that a thousand leaves would be a lot smaller amount than you'd actually think

Like I think like a- like a big mixing bowl is actually a thousand leaves

So I'm gonna say a thousand. B, final answer.

That's not true. Uh, a mixing bowl is around five hundred fifty leaves, which is the right answer.

Five hundred fifty is the right answer?

I measured them up. Five hundred fifty is the right answer.

Oh, come on. That's too specific.

If- If you thought...

I can take a thousand, when I was 7.

If you leave a kid alone long enough to eat five hundred fifty leaves, then you're a sad parental guider.

Next question.

Okay, little bit naughty already.

If people knew the real meaning of the word "mistletoe," they might be less inclined to kiss under it, because the original Germanic word literally means what?

Does it mean toenail fungal infection?

Does it mean dung on a twig?

Does it mean testicles of a mouse?

Or does it actually mean "Your toes are actual missiles; this relationship is over?"

Cause that's what Germanic people-

Yeah.

might say if they-

I could see a German saying that.

they break up with you.

I could see how dung on a twig would become a Christmas tradition.

Because twi-

You could, huh?

A twig seems very Christmasy.

And then like, "Sure, put some dung on it. It's Germany."

I'm trying to make it make sense and it's not.

Very sound logic.

But I'm going with B. Dung on a twig.

Haha

You're right! Dung on a twig.

Uh, a bird called the Mistle thrush eats berries then leaves droppings, which eventually grow into new mistletoe plants.

Isn't that-

Oh, really??

A cycle of life.

the mistletoe comes from the dung thing?

Got that one right.

The best selling music single of all time is actually a Christmas song.

Having sold over 50 million copies, which one is it?

Is it Mariah Carey's

(sings) All I want for Christmas

(continues singing) you bay-bay

or

Bing Crosby's

(sings) I'm dreaming

You left out the "is"

Oh.

You left out the "is". That's-

I said it, but I was taking a breath.

That's my favorite part.

White Christmas

Nat King Cole's The Christmas Song

(sings) Chestnuts roasting

Familiar.

Or Rhett and Link featuring Hannah Hart and Grace Helbig's Christmas Sweatz

Oh, yeah. That sold well.

(sings) You got some green sweats, I got some red sweats

Uh, I feel like I know this one, 'cause it seems like the kinda thing that, like, one rainy afternoon while perusing cable somebody on VH1 said-

Well just give me your answer if you feel like you know it.

A!!

Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You

You-

Okay...

You think that-

You think that the best selling single of all time-

Of all time.

Is-

Is Mariah Carey

Of all-? Okay.

Of all time. People buy singles now, man.

It's Bing Crosby's White Chrsitmas.

No it's not!

It is, man.

I- I-

The best selling single-

I dispute that!

Mariah is amazing!

Well-

That song- That song is so crazy.

Of course she's amazing.

She's rich because of that song.

Okay.

Nick Cannon doesn't know what he left.

Yes he does. Mariah Carey.

Alright. Next one.

Do- Don't give up hope yet.

The spirit of Christmas has not died.

I was sure-

But you're killing it slowly.

I was sure of that.

Santa's reindeer underwent some rebranding over the years, and two of them - Donner and Blitzen - originally went by what names?

Dunder and Blixem?

Dumble and Bloxen?

Donder and Blisten?

Or Dumbledore and Bilbo?

Dumbledore and Bilbo

Dumbledore and Bilbo

Uh, I need to use a lifeline, because I suck so far.

Yeah, you do.

Uh, and I want to avalanche some of the answers away.

Alright.

Boobadyboobadyboodoodaboom

C and D are gone.

So it's either Dunder and Blixem

or Dumble and Bloxen?

Yeah.

Why would it ever have been Blixem or Bloxen?

Those are both dumb names.

I'll tell you why.

Uhh...

A. Dunder and Blixem.

You got it right!

Yes!!

Uhh...

They- The names were taken from the Dutch words that mean "thunder" and "lightning."

Okay.

"Dunder and Blixem" is "Thunder and Lightning."

Scientist have confirmed that Santa has to travel at what speed in order to visit the roughly 800 million houses on Earth in the 34 hours of darkness?

Oh, because he moves with the sun.

He does.

He gets 34 hours.

And the international dateline

Yeah. Something about a science.

Does he move at 99.999999% the speed of light?

Or the speed of sound?

Does he move at 3x the speed of light?

Or he moves at whatever speed he wants - the dude is MAGIC?

He's magic.

Uhm.

Let's not forget.

I feel

like this is the kind of thing that an elf would have insight into because he's probably been there.

For it.

Hm. Alright, he's asking for an elf.

Elf?

Here he comes.

Look at him.

The chaser elf.

Uhm.

Mr elf-

Cheesin' it up!

Have you ever been with Santa while he's traveling? In those 34 hours of darkness?

Why are you standing like that? Is this a Sears catalog or something?

No I haven't, that's not-

But you know the elf that does it?

You have to be really high up, yeah.

You know- You've got a friend of a friend?

Yeah.

So what's the answer?

Uhm.

I don't know.

This is one of those question I always get wrong on the quiz.

3x the speed of light, just below the speed of light, or speed of sound?

I think that it's...

99.999999% the speed of light.

The real question, though is, elf

and Link

Does this take into account

present time?

Like, the time in the house.

Or is this just

going point to point?

Assuming he's doing everything at the speed of light

I'm assuming that he's doing everything at the speed of light.

Anything close to the speed of light

I feel like

or three times the speed of light

would be way more time than he actually needs, but

Three times the speed of light... You can't...

Nothing in the universe can go faster than the speed of light.

So C is impossible.

Scientists would never say that.

So I'm gonna go with

A,

my elf answer,

99.999999% the speed of light.

Sonic boom!!

That's right!

Yes!

Sonic boom has nothing to do with it.

Thanks, elf.

Uh. Yeah, so he goes almost the speed of light.

Fact.

Next question.

Data analyzed from Facebook wall posts indicates that two weeks before Chrsitmas is one of the two most popular times of the year for what?

Is it A, quitting a job?

B, getting engaged?

C, breaking up?

Or D

Complaining about game requests from Farmville?

Oh, yeah. Those are still happening, aren't they?

Uh, yes. I think.

Farmville?

Two weeks before Christmas

One of the mose popular times

for quitting a j-

No one quits a job right before Christmas.

Because you're like-

That'd be stupid.

"I gotta get dat money, gotta get dem presents"

I think

You begin to think about the long term possibilities of a relationship,

at this time of the year.

And you think, "I gotta spend Christmas with this person for the rest of my life?"

And you break up with them.

But you know what?

To confirm that, I would like to play my last lifeline.

A hint from Christmas past