Canada. And in this video, I’m going to teach you how to prevent separation or divorce

and save your marriage. This is obviously going to be a huge topic and I’m going to

cover as much as I can in this video. So sit tight and be sure to watch this entire clip,

because I’m going to teach you things that most couples will never know about building

a loving marriage.

First of all, let me tell you who this video is for. This video is for people whose husband

or wife announced that they’re no longer happy in their marriage. You may have heard

painful things like, “I’m just not happy anymore”, “I don’t love you”, or “I’m

leaving you.” Or, maybe they’ve already left you. No matter the case, I know how extremely

difficult, stressful, and heartbreaking this situation is… and I know how hopeless you

might feel at this very moment. So I’m going to start off this long video by telling you

that there IS light at the end of this long tunnel. With the proper guidance, help, and

attitude, it is possible to turn your marriage around despite how adamant your spouse may

be on divorce. I know this because I’ve seen thousands of so called “hopeless”

couples turn it around – and I know exactly how they did it.

With that being said, rebuilding a broken marriage is a rocky road. Sometimes, things

can get a little worse before they get better, and it takes a lot of devotion on your part

to make things better. However, I promise you that if you watch this whole video and

follow my advice very closely, you’ll have the best chance possible of rebuilding that

marriage you and your spouse deserve.

But before I get into what TO do to save your marriage, I first need to tell you about what

NOT to do. The vast majority of married couples that I coach commit almost all of these very

damaging mistakes. And I know that some of you might be in a situation where your spouse

isn’t willing to work on the marriage, but in a minute, I’ll tell you why that’s

okay, and why it’s even more important for you to learn these common mistakes before

you go down the road of rebuilding a newer, happier marriage.

Some of this stuff you may already know, but it’s important to remember these mistakes

before you cause any further damage to your marriage – and these are tips that will

have an immediate impact on your relationship.

I like to call these mistakes my “Big Marital Mistakes”.

Big Marital Mistakes #1 – Initiating needless conflict with your spouse. When you’re trying

to fix a broken marriage and you’re feeling desperate, chances are things can spiral out

of control very easily… (and I think you know what I’m talking about). You think

that if you could just talk to your spouse about all your problems and find common ground,

your marriage will magically fix itself and get better. But usually, this isn’t the

case.

While communicating with your spouse is important in rebuilding a marriage, what your marriage

does NOT need right now is another argument or fight. Even if your partner says something

antagonizing or wants to bring up a touchy sticky issue at the moment, do your best to

avoid conflict politely. Don’t ignore your spouse or discount any of their concerns,

but you need to ensure that the discussion doesn’t end up in a screaming match. You

can say something along the lines of, “I know this is a real concern right now and

I want to resolve this issue, but can we discuss this later?”

Try and be as non-confrontational as possible – at least for now – until you learn how

you can manage how to handle your arguments later. I’ll get to what I call my “Dispute

Defusing System” later in this video. If you have any questions or concerns about this

common mistake, please be sure to ask questions in the comments section below. I’ll do my

very best to get back to you as soon as I can.

The second “Big Marital Mistake” is begging and pleading, or being highly emotional. Especially

in public. I know that when emotions are running rampant, people tend to say or do things that

they’ll inevitably regret. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. At

certain times, your spouse may say or do things that will make you feel angry, upset, or saddened,

you must do your very best to control your emotions. Showing these negative emotions

will only make matters worse – and unfortunately, doing so will only help you sign those divorce

papers even sooner. So for now, it’s extremely important to try and remain calm and live

to fight another day.

“Big Marital Mistake” #3 – Making drastic changes to your life or habits. When your

marriage is in a rut, it can affect your life immensely. Your work or school suddenly takes

the back seat, and in some cases, so does your health and nutrition. But for the time

being, you must retain a sense of normalcy whenever possible. If you begin floundering

in life, then I can guarantee you that your marriage will begin floundering even more.

After all, nobody wants a spouse who’s always depressed, angry, or in ruins.

Show how confident, strong, and bold you are by showing the world that nothing can faze

you. By doing so, you’ll not only appear much more attractive to your spouse, but you’ll

also ensure that you don’t damage yourself any further.

“Big Marital Mistake” #4 – Nagging at your spouse. This is similar to mistake #1.

You’ll want to avoid any sort of confrontation whenever possible. It’s normal to be annoyed

at your spouse every once in awhile – but when your marriage is in trouble, small confrontations

can easily lead to larger ones, and the last thing you need at this point is another pointless

argument about nothing.

The next time your spouse does something that annoys you, hold it in. This is the time when

you can start fixing your marriage on your own. In my free, video presentation on my

website, I’ll teach you how you can change your spouse’s behavior without nagging at

him or her. For more information on how to do this, just go to www.MarriageGuy.com and

watch the free video presentation on that website. That’s www.MarriageGuy.com.

And finally, “Big Marital Mistake” #5 – Being negative all the time. I know it

might sound like a bunch of BS, but having a positive attitude can make a world of difference

– not only in your marriage, but in life in general. It’s been scientifically proven

that positive thinking can reduce stress, lower depression, and better equip you to

cope with hardships. Not only this, but thinking positively actually makes you more of an attractive

person to be around – and this has also been scientifically proven. In times of great

distress, like being in a rocky marriage for example, people tend to get pessimistic. After

all, when the love of your life starts saying hurtful things to you, it’s easy for you

to take all that misplaced anger quite literally. But instead of internalizing all of this into

negativity, force yourself to look at things differently.

Remember, every single marriage goes through ups and downs – but the strong couples always

seem to have an extremely positive attitude when handling arguments and conflict.

(BREAK)

Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list of marital mistakes, so if you want to learn

more about exactly what NOT to do in your marriage, then again, just go to MarriageGuy.com

and watch the free video presentation on that website. Again, the URL is MarriageGuy.com.

Now that we have an outline on what NOT to do in your marriage, we can begin talking

about some of the things you can do to fix your marriage. Again, for a topic this large,

I won’t be able to cover every single issue or concern you might have, so if you have

a question you’re dying to ask, please feel free to comment below and ask me a question.

I do a pretty good job of getting back to everyone, so please, shoot me a question in

the comments section below.

Although the list of marital problems is seemingly endless, there are several core issues that

all marriages face. For example, at some point in time, both spouses will disagree on an

issue and a discussion will take place. These serious discussions can sometimes escalate

into full-blown wars. I call these types of arguments MMA’s (No, this doesn’t stand

for Mixed Martial Arts, but sometimes these types of arguments can look like an Anderson

Silva bout)… what MMA actually stands for here is “Marriage Murdering Arguments.”

MMA’s are what rip marriages apart… and to be honest, MMA’s aren’t always preventable,

so it’s important to learn how you can handle a serious argument as well as learn how to

prevent them.

This is where my patented “Dispute Defusing System” comes in…But before I get into

explaining it, I first have to say that arguments are completely normal and healthy in a relationship.

You’re never going to completely eliminate disagreements. In fact, the occasional argument

here and there can actually be quite productive, and depending on how you handle the argument,

it can tie you and your spouse closer together! In this section of the video, I’ll explain

the best way to handle your arguments with your spouse:

Dispute Defusing Tactic #1 – Let go of the desire to always be “right”. I know, I

know… you are ALWAYS right. I get it! Some people have such a strong desire to always

be right, but in a marriage, no one person is always right. And letting go of this constant

desire to always be right is the first step in my Dispute Defusing System. See, when you

and your spouse are in a Marriage Murdering Argument, there are no winners. You both lose

because neither of you are getting your way and feelings are getting hurt in the process.

Even if you think you’ve won the fight, the satisfaction is fleeting, and knowing

that you hurt your partner just makes the argument feel pointless.

Learning how to let go of the desire to “be right” is going to be a real test for some

of you – but here’s a quick little exercise for you. The next time you’re about to get

into a big argument with somebody (it doesn’t have to be your spouse), try and bite your

tongue. Try and willingly admit that the other person is right even though you don’t feel

that way. I promise you that if learn to just let go of the desire to always be right, you’ll

reduce your “MMA frequency” and you’ll be well on your way to improving your relationship

with your spouse.

Dispute Defusing Tactic #2 – Learn to take breaks from arguments. When a huge argument

is simply unavoidable, you need to learn how to control its temperament so they don’t

turn into full-blown MMA’s. One of the best ways to do this is to take frequent breaks

during an argument. You can do this by telling your spouse that during the argument that

you’d like to take a moment to cool down before continuing the argument. Don’t simply

just leave and don’t ignore your spouse, just politely say that you need a moment to

burn off some steam.

One of the best practices contradicts a popularly held belief… have you ever heard the saying,

“The secret to a good marriage is to never go to bed angry?” Well, unfortunately I’m

going to have to say that that advice is a bunch of BS. Sometimes if an argument remains

unresolved, going to bed angry and approaching it with a fresh and rational mindset the morning

after is EXACTLY what it needs. You’ll often find that, the next day, the argument wasn’t

such a big deal and you’ll allow the situation to blow over.

Dispute Defusing Tactic #3 – Learn to conduct arguments with respect. Of course, I don’t

need to say this but you can’t resort to name-calling during an argument. This is a

no brainer. But there are a few other things you can do during an argument that will make

them much more productive and respectful. For example, start using the word “I”

instead of “you” during an argument. Say you’re trying to tell your spouse that you

hate it when they’re constantly late for things. Instead of saying, “You’re always

the reason why we’re late,” say something along the lines of, “I think we should try

and do our best to leave a little earlier.” Really think about those two statements for

a minute – one sounds a lot less respectful than the other, doesn’t it? By making small

little shifts here and there, you’ll be able to transform the way you communicate

with your spouse… and you’ll find that your spouse will start treating YOU with the

same level of respect in return.

By the way, is any of the stuff helpful? Again, if you’re confused about my Dispute Defusing

System, feel free to ask a question in the comments section below.

Dispute Defusing Tactic #4 – Use humor during the argument. Now, you have to be careful

with this one…but injecting some well-timed humour can de-escalate or avoid a potential

argument quite effectively. Take the last example I used… instead of saying something

like, “You’re always the reason why we’re late.” You could say something along the

lines of, “Honey, if we were any more late, we’d have to take a pregnancy test.” I

know, that was a pretty awful joke… I’m sorry, but you get my drift. Using humour

at the right time can send the right message without you looking like a complete jerk.

These four tactics are only just brief preview of my Dispute Defusing System. If you want

to learn more about my Dispute Defusing System, simply head over to MarriageGuy.com and watch

the free video presentation on that website.

Of course, learning how to handle and prevent arguments is only a small sliver of what you

need to learn to save your marriage. I mean, what if your marriage is in seriously dire

straits? What if your spouse has already announced that they want to leave you? How do you convince

him or her to give the marriage a second chance?

To answer these questions, you need to understand the core reasons why your marriage is failing

to begin with. Is there a key disagreement you two share? Do you lack common interests

and the passion has waned? Does your idea of parenthood differ greatly than you spouse’s?

These are issues that I simply don’t have time to fit into this video, but if you subscribe

to my YouTube channel, I’ll be releasing these kinds of specific videos in the coming

weeks. Alternatively, you can hire ME as your personal marriage coach and I can walk you