We are gonna be at the Johnson's very late tonight.

Okay. Have fun.

Oh, we will, but you won't. Not after the party you threw last time.

We hired a baby-sitter.

A what?!

- We're too old for a baby-sitter. - (doorbell rings)

- Ooh, there she is. - Go get her.

Hi, come on in.

Hello, everyone. I'm sorry I'm late. Daddy couldn't drive me over, so I had to ride my bicycle.

Ah, heck! We're just glad you could make it. Hannah's in high demand. She is the best baby-sitter in the neighborhood.

And you must be Kelsey and Brendan. We're gonna have so much fun together.

Mom, you hired a child!

- Shh! - Hannah, I'm sorry. Kelsey's just a little cranky today.

Oh, does baby need her bottle?

Yeah. Does baby need her buhbuh?

Okay. Anyway, Hannah, I'm gonna need you to help Brendan shave his back.

Okay, mom, please.

Normally, I would do it, but I am taking a well-deserved night off from old "werewolf shoulders" over here.

Oh, and no snacks after midnight because they have horrible nightmares about their changing bodies.

- Okay, well, we gotta go now. Love you. Don't call us. - Bye bye.

Wait, you can't leave us like this!

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't cry. Mommy and daddies need to spend time alone every now and then, but they still love you very, very much.

We know.

(TV) Wish I didn't have to say this, but... Gryffindor!!!

Okay, Brendan, bath time.

I don't take baths. I take showers.

Looks like we've got a Stubborn Steven. The boys are always Stubborn Stevens.

I'm not a Stubborn Steven.

I mean, you kinda are a Stubborn Steven.

I'm not a Stubborn Steven.

Then prove it.

(in babyish voice) 78... 79...

I just have to go to the bathroom.

Well, all right. When you come back, I'll dress you up as your favorite dolly.

What're you doing?!

Dry off and get dressed! We're getting out of here.

Okay.

And just where are you going?

- Wha-- going out. - And you can't stop us.

- I can't stop you... but Buckshot can! - Holy [bleep]!

I didn't become the best baby-sitter in the neighborhood by letting kids escape. Looks like it's bedtime, kiddies... one way or another.

Okay... all right. Yeah. We're going.

Goodnight moon, goodnight house, goodnight Remington 12 Gauge.

Hello!

Mom, dad! Thank God! This little monster has a gun!

Oh, right. We're gonna need that back.

Oh, wait, that's yours?

Yeah, dummy. Hannah's not old enough to own a shotgun.

I brushed out the barrel and I oiled her up, by the way.

You are so thoughtful. Hey, how should I pay you?

Direct deposit is fine.

Great! Thanks again.

Any time. Goodnight!

- Bye then. - Bye bye!

Okay, kids, time to go to bed.

Your dad and I are gonna do it.

That's the worst thing I've heard all day.

- Let's try weird positions! - Yeah!

I spoke too soon.