I'll have an IPA.

一杯印度淡色艾爾啤酒。

Here you go.

給你。

And keep it open.

先不要結帳，等等還會點。

Did you know that 90% of all guys who use pick-up lines at this bar get turned down?

你知道有 90% 的男性在酒吧搭訕的都被拒絕嗎？

I mean, with those odds, why even bother coming here?

我是說，被拒絕的機率這麼高幹嘛還來？

Ugh, it certainly isn't for this beer.

噁，肯定不是為了喝這杯啤酒來的。

Talking about pick-up lines as a pick-up line — what are the chances of that working?

討論關於搭訕的話題作為搭訕的開頭，你覺得成功的機率會多高？

I dunno. You tell me.

我不知道，妳說呢？

I think someone just beat the odds.

看來有人成為特例了。

This is not what I was expecting for our first date, and I love that.

這跟我想像中的第一次約會不一樣，但我很喜歡。

What better place to have a date than the great outdoors with not a care in the world.

還有哪裡比最無憂無慮的戶外活動更適合約會呢？

That's right.

沒錯。

Although, it is tick season, and not only are 50% of deer ticks infected with the Lyme disease bacterium, but 45% of visitors at this park are bitten by them. - Oh.

但是，現在是壁蝨活躍的季節，不僅有 50% 的鹿蜱感染萊姆病細菌，而且這個公園裡的 45% 的遊客也被它們咬傷。

Oh.

糟了。

We should check exposed areas, right?

我們應該檢查皮膚露出來的部分，對嗎？我檢查一下你的腳踝。

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

沒錯。

Let me check your ankles.

我檢查一下你的腳踝。

I think we're good.

我想我們沒事。

Yeah, you're tick free.

沒錯，你沒有被壁蝨咬。

You too!

你也是！

We beat the odds.

我們戰勝機率了！

- That's right, we did. - Yeah.

- 沒錯，我們是！- 對。

Look what I picked you up.

看看我幫你買了什麼。

Really? You know there's a 7.8% chance of winning with a scratch-off ticket?

認真嗎？你知道只有 7.8% 的人玩刮刮樂會中獎嗎？

Come on, have a little bit of fun.

拜託，找點樂子做啊。

Oh, my god. Okay...

我的天，好啦...

Wait a second. We won! We beat the odds.

等等，中獎了！我們打破機率了！

We beat the odds? We... We beat the odds!

我們打破機率了？我們...我們打破機率了！

Oh, my god!

我的天啊！

- Baby. - Mhm.

- 寶貝。- 怎麼了。

I think I'm ready to have sex.

我準備好跟你愛愛了。

- Wait, you mean "ready" ready? - Like, "ready" ready.

- 等等，妳說妳準備好了？沒錯，準備好了。

Well, you should know that even if we use condoms, there's an 18% failure rate and you might get pregnant.

你應該知道，即使我們戴保險套，也有 18% 的失敗率，然後妳可能會懷孕。

Babe, you being factually accurate and responsible is really turning me on.

寶貝，你這麼現實和負責任真的讓我慾火焚身。

Philip, I have some news for you.

Philip，我有事要告訴你。

We're, um... Not pregnant.

我呢.... 沒有懷孕。

- Oh, we beat the odds! - We beat the odds! - Yeah!

- 我們打破機率了！- 我們是例外！- 沒錯！

- Whoooo! - Suck it, 18%!

- 嗚呼！- 18% 去死吧！

Candice, do you love me?

Candice，妳愛我嗎？

Of course I do, you goof.

我當然愛啊，小傻瓜。

We should get married.

那我們應該要結婚。

What? Philip, don't you know weddings costs, on average like, $30,000 and 80% of those weddings are financed by that couple getting married. I mean, financially speaking, it's like a huge, huge risk.

什麼？Philip 你不知道婚禮的平均成本是 30,000 美元，而且其中的 80% 要由結婚的夫婦出錢嗎？我的意思是，從財務角度來說，這就像在冒一個巨大的風險。

Well, then let's just go to city hall.

那我們直接去市政廳不就得了？

Um, that'll be $40.

這樣是 40 塊錢。

- 40 bucks?! - We beat the odds!

- 40 塊錢？！- 我們打破機率了！

Yeah!

沒錯！

Whoo hoo! Yeah!

嗚呼！好耶！

We're married, we're married, we're married!

我們結婚了！

Wait, wait, you do know that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce.

等等，你知道有 40 到 50% 的人最後會離婚嗎？

Well, we've always beaten the odds before.

沒關係，我們一直以來都成功戰勝機率。

We have, haven't we?

我們確實是。

Sign here and there.

在這裡跟那裡簽名。

You are now officially divorced.

你們現在正式離婚了。

Well, we couldn't beat the odds forever.

看來，我們沒辦法戰勝所有機率。

Oh, you know what? I think the problem was when you [bleep] Barbara.

你知道嗎？我覺得問題出在你跟 Barbara 搞上了。