But in spite of that, I've adapted well. I'm one of those aspies who've

learned how to socialize, make friends, and blend in.

I still can't socialize as much as I'd like to,

and I miss out on a lot. I have take it easy

to preserve my energy, and I can't even go out in public sometimes

because I'm very vulnerable to sensory overload.

I often have a hard time understanding other people

because how I experience the world is different.

I may still be human, but sometimes I feel like I'm from another planet.

It's been agreed that a lot of the main

features of Asperger's would include sensory issues

social deficits, obsessive interests,

and repetitive behaviors.

With the sensory issues,

our senses tend to be heightened, so things like lights,

sounds, textures a food, certain

fabric on clothing can be overwhelming to us.

As for the social issues,

because of the sensory problems it makes it hard for us to

read nonverbal cues and body language. It's just hard to pay attention to that when

you're already so overwhelmed with other things.

As for obsessive interests, a lot of aspies tend to be very focused while

engaging with what we're interested in.

And repetitive behaviors might appear as

doing things over and over, or fidgeting a lot,

and a lot of these seem to come about as a way to cope with the outside world.

I actually know a lot of people on the autism spectrum,

many of them are very good friends of mine. You know, I thought because I know

all these people you know maybe

maybe I should ask them about their lives and

and see how they all differ from one another and how

we all can relate as well as aspies.

The first aspie I talked to was my friend Katie.

I had met Katie through my 4-H Club when we were both

home-schooled, and she's been one of my best friends ever since.

Before I knew what I was dealing with,

that I had Aspergers,

I thought I was the modern equivalent

of the village idiot. I thought it was me, I thought

I was something wrong with the world. Once I found out that

I had Aspergers as well a few other learning disabilities,

it made me realize maybe I wasn't screwed up!

Maybe it was just the fact that my brain was wired a little differently and people

just had to deal with it.

Most of my Asperger's symptoms are sensory related, so I'm really sensitive to

fluorescent lights,

bass from speakers,

certain types of voices and tones of voices.

One of Katie's Aspergers symptoms that was the most noticeable to me was her sensitivity to sound.

Sound. That was pretty big.

That was a pretty bad one, that's probably why I don't remember most of it.

It drove me crazy quite a lot.

I couldn't ignore anything. Everything was right there, right in front of me.

I could not tell my brain to shut off anything.

I would hear clocks,

I'd hear flies,

I'd hear people screeching little pencils on paper, and

things clattering on the floor. That's just my experience from a classroom

which is why I was so,

so happy to be home-schooled.

In some ways I could say literally saved my life.

There are many things I've worked on to the point that

I don't notice them half the time, or majority the time,

and thank God that's one of them.

I've always had a hard time fitting into church communities,

but it was mainly because of my sensory issues.

Because I was so overwhelmed with just being there,

it made it even harder for me to attempt to connect with people.

As for my friend Katie, she even had a harder time.

I asked her about it and

it made me realize that a lot of us aspies deal with

the same kind of thing when we go to places like

even church, where it's supposed to feel safe and welcoming.

I very much enjoy

going to church, hearing the sermons,

praise, I love it.

Only problem was... well, I said I liked praise,

but that's where my major problem came in.

it doesn't necessarily have to be loud, it doesn't have to have a lot of bass.

It's hard to describe what it is,

but it somehow just gets into your head

and won't let up.

To any churches out there; I know you are doing your

best to give wonderful praise experience but

if the person is in pain from the fact that they're listening to your praise music,

please stop! Turn it down! you don't have to have it level 11 all the time!

I also do deal with some of the social issues. I do have a hard time

reading people,

I cannot stand small talk because I really want to get to know people,

and I do not really have a lot of practice with getting past

the small talk stage.

Though my social skills haven't always been the greatest, I've worked to improve

them enough to seem "normal."

The way I act in public and

even in this film is the result of a lot of practice, because that does not come naturally.

Even for this documentary, I still had to interact with people.

If I wanted to take this journey and to do it well,

I had put myself out there and get to know more people. One person I decided to meet

with was Patti Boheme, the executive vice president of

Little Friends Center for Autism. She explained a lot about the Aspergers

symptoms, including social issues.

When you get into social communications some of is--we have issues where

people are very concrete in their thinking, so they take things really literally.

And it's hard for them to think about

another person's perspective, so a lot of times it's difficult for them to understand

things socially because it's so hard to understand

what somebody else might be thinking.

My Asperger's would include

inability to discern facial expressions, situations,

see when someone is clearly annoyed with me or

clearly wanting help me, but I'm not helping.

After I learned that Katie had Aspergers I felt like I could relate to her

even more than I already did.

It's nice knowing that someone else deals with the same uncommon struggles that I do.

Aside from Katie, I had aspie friends in other places too.

Like my friend Matt, who I met on an aspie support group on Facebook.

Rock, paper, scissors!

Rock.

Darn!

Matt lived only a few states away, so we decided to meet up in person so I could

get to know him better

and to also ask him about his experiences with Aspergers.

I was pretty happy about my diagnosis, really.

For me it was kind of

this realization that

yes, I'm different, but there's a reason

for me being different.

For me, Aspergers has always been mostly the social issue.

I never fit in as a kid, got made fun of a lot,

got picked on. When I grew up I didn't know anybody else with Aspergers,

so I kinda felt like an outcast.

So I learned to mimic

neurotypical people so I can at least blend in.

So I wouldn't stick out as much.

For a lot of people with Aspergers Syndrome,

empathy tends to be sort of an issue.

And I guess for me it was,

but basically, like other aspies I've had to use my

detective skills in order to watch

neurotypical people, see ho w they interact with the world

so that way I can appear to be a little more normal. I've read a lot of guides on body

language to help fill in the blanks in social situations.

And I found out that apparently sitting

with your arms crossed like this, it's to close off

like close yourself off from people, show that you're not interested.

And I think back on it, and this is probably my

favorite way to sit, it's most comfortable and

I had this realization: That's why I don't have a blossoming social life.

My aspie friends both in person

and on the Internet weren't the only ones who helped me deal with my Aspergers.

I'd have to say that my biggest support would be my mom.

She went back to school to study psychology so she could help people like

me and their families.

Through her, I've met other psychologists like Dr. Wahlberg,

an expert on autism spectrum disorders. I decided to pay a visit to his clinic to

ask a more about his perspective on Aspergers.

One of the things that I've learned in in what I do is

personality comes first. With all the kids that I see.

whether they're on the spectrum or not. Personality comes first,

diagnosis comes second. I tell people it's like saying

everybody with diabetes is "this." They behave this way, they think this way,

their personality's this way--that's not true.

It's the same for those on the spectrum. Personality comes first.

So I have plenty of kids that I see

on the spectrum that are introverted, which is I think is some of the stereotypical--

you know, wants to sit in his room or her room and play on the computer.

You know, doesn't want to interact with people.

That's half the kids I see. The other half are extroverted.

The other half want to be around other people, want to engage with other people.

One of the most important things to realize is that

people who have autism--whether it's high functioning autism or severe autism--

and if you have in your brain, you know what a person with Aspergers maybe is,

I think the most important thing is this is the person.

And every person is so different.

So at about three years of age kids start to really pay attention to other kids around them,

the social environment. I think with with individuals on the spectrum,

if they're overwhelmed

by the environment, they're trying to tune it out. They're trying to manage it

as opposed to taking it in.

So I think they kinda head in the opposite direction

It's hard for an aspie to read nonverbal cues and body language.

Because they're already so busy processing what's around them

that it's just hard to pay attention to those things.

As a result of that, it might be very hard for them to make friends,

conversations can be really awkward-- they wouldn't be sure exactly

what to do or say,

it's hard for them to articulate what they're thinking sometimes or how they're feeling.

Probably the biggest negative effect of Aspergers for me

has been pretty severe bouts of depression.

I've gotten better at coping with it over time, but

every once in a while, there's a particularly bad one

and I just kinda of

shut down--I guess would be a good term for it.

With my emotions, they're all pretty

close together I can go from

happy to sad very quickly,

and for just about anything.

Like, I'll be happy and then when I start to

think about why I am happy, I realize

that stimuli that's making me happy may not always be there,

and then I start to feel sad about that.

So much of what I see

with those in the spectrum, a lot of it's rooted in anxiety.

Because of all the changing things that are going on in the world.

The older you get, the more you perceive

how much you don't have control of, which creates a lot of anger and anxiety

and depression in a lot of kids that I see and young adults that I see.

I tell people emotions for-- to begin with before therapy--

with a lot of kids on the spectrum, it's like a light switch.

It's on or off. Where I'm more like a dimmer switch.

It takes me awhile to get upset and it also takes me awhile to calm down.

Where individuals on the spectrum, sometimes it's just--it's a light switch.

Which other people don't understand.

And I think what starts to develop then is more of the black-and-white way of seeing things.

So that's--a way to control the environment is try to make it consistent.

So of the sensory world's not making sense, I want other things in my environment

to be the same.

So it's really a control thing. The more they

are overwhelmed over-stimulated, the more they try to control.

So they don't want furniture in the house changing, they don't want different routes to school.

That's not fun.

So the challenge with the social interaction and the social world is it's always changing.