I had a great time.

Same thing tomorrow?

Sure.

Awesome.

And this is for you.

[Voiceover] Dear Steven,

I'm not sure you know who I am,

but trust me, we'll become well acquainted soon enough.

Apologies in advance to your bed sheets.

You know, blood stains are easy to clean if you act fast.

For what it's worth, I'm deeply sorry.

Okay.

I'm writing to inform you that I will be arriving at Jen's apartment some time tomorrow morning.

While I don't know the length of my stay,

I can say that it'll probably be in the range of five to seven days, give or take.

Now, here's the deal.

I don't know what it is about me,

but for some reason, boyfriends act weird when I'm in town.

For example, there was Marcus.

He wasn't especially accommodating.

Wow, really going to town there aren't you?

I'm hungry.

I can see that.

What?

Somebody's sensitive today.

Exhibited some signs of paranoia.

Wanna put some pants on?

Uh, no, why?

I mean I just got the car cleaned.

Wasn't the biggest proponent of privacy

Hey bro, there's no way I'm gonna be able to go out tonight.

No, you know who is on her you know what.

No, no, it's her period bro, yeah.

A classic dick head.

Then there was Ryan.

Jennifer, I'm home.

Oh my God, wine and ice cream?

You got these for me?

These are for me.

Always a bit dramatic during my visits.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was his time of the month.

Of all weeks, it had to be this week.

I know you can't control it,

but this is terrible timing for me.

You know what the worst part is?

We can't even have sex!

No, no, no, we can.

No we can't.

Yes we can.

No, it's impossible.

I suppose I was simply, too much to bare,

but maybe you'll be different.

Maybe you'll make it through the cramps.

You good?

Yep.

The aches.

Hey, I was thinking we could, uh...

The Acne.

Hey, uh you about ready to go?

Yep, just gimme like five minutes.

The trips to the bathroom.

Hey, I'm just gonna use the bathroom for like three to five hours, so.

More trips to the bathroom

The shopping and hours upon hours of reality t.v.

[TV Announcer] Coming up on Keeping Up With The Kardashians,

Khloe gets to do a scuffle when Ken...

Just Breathe.

I know this might sound harsh,

but here are three ground rules

you must live by so you don't (bleep) this up.

Excuse my French, I'm on my period.

First and foremost, never complain.

If you've got a problem with your girlfriend's period,

you can file a complaint with the International Club of Whiney Little Bitches,

but last thing she wants to hear is how much of an inconvenience her period is to you.

Number two. Be helpful.

How?

You can start by picking up some tampons for your place.

I'm not saying that you need to frame the things for all your friends to see,

just shove 'em in that bathroom cabinet

that you haven't opened since the last time you ran out of toilet paper.

And last, if she wants to have sex,

man up.

It's gonna make her feel better,

it's gonna make you feel better,

and if you're worried about leakage,

there's these things called towels.

I'm sure you can figure out how they work.

Look, I'm not asking you to be my friend,

but trust me, accidents happen

and if one does...

I'm going to be, the best friend you've ever had.

Sincerely, Jen's Period.

P.S. everything they say about chocolate is true.

Yeah dude, she's still on her period.

I'm walking around with a bucket under her legs.

She keeps wearing skirts dude.