♪(theme music)♪

- Good Mythical Morning! (grunts) - We-- Are you okay?

- I'm just preparing my mouth. - Anticipating the-- (makes sound)

It's all gonna shrivel up today guys, in the mouth area.

- (crew and Link laugh) - Right. Right in there. Right in there.

- The face. - Okay.

Listen, we are very familiar with the Scoville scale of measuring the heat

- units of food. How hot a food can get. - Yes.

'Cause we have eaten the hottest pepper in the world,

- Yes. - and regretted it,

but what we've discovered is that there is not a comparable scale for sourness.

Right. There is an acidity scale that

has a lot of food on it and that goes up to battery acid,

- which is not a food I don't think, - Don't eat that.

- (crew laughs) - but I don't think that acidity

is necessarily a measure of sourness. So we couldn't find an actual

sourness scale, so we're just gonna determine it

- with our own human mouths. - That's right. Now it's time to determine:

- ♪(dramatic music)♪ - (Link) (dramatic) The sourest food

- in the world! - (Rhett) According to us.

Okay, so we got a bunch of sour foods, and we are going to taste them and then

- each rank them on a scale of one to ten, - (normal voice) Mhm.

and then we combine our scores and that is our collective sour score for that item.

Alright, so let's get started with a familiar sour:

- ♪(harp)♪ - Lemons.

I'm familiar with those. I've seen those before.

- I've seen videos of babies eating these. - (Rhett) I put those in my water

- at restaurants. - Oh, you do?

- Yeah. - I don't order these in water because

- I want a water with lemon. - I think about the person touching it

with their fingerlings and then it being dipped on in.

Oh, I don't do that. I squeeze and then I set.

You don't want to put the actual lemon in there.

So, this score's kinda-- I don't wanna call it a baseline,

but, you know, it's a good point of comparison

- for the rest of the things we're - Things have got to get more sour than this,

- gonna be tasting. - right? Or is it sourer?

- Sourer. - Sourer.

- Alright, so let's-- - Just go. Really get a bite now.

- Really get a bite. - Yeah, the whole thing.

Woo. That makes you wanna pucker, man.

- (crew laughs) - Wow. How'd you do that?

I just did it like an orange. I did it 'cause you said,

"Yeah, man. Get it," and you went (makes bite sound)

- and then you let go. - Well, I got the clench back here.

- Ding! It just duh-dings on ya'. - You've seen this? Tartar?

I'm giving this-- You have a nosebleed too.

- Oh crap, Rhett. It's made his nose bleed! - This is so sour. It made my nose bleed?!

- What?! That's a record! - (crew laughs)

- That's a-- Oh. Okay. - Just look up or somethin'.

- My nose isn't bleeding, is it? - Wow. This is so--

- Is my nose? Oh my goodness. - This is like we're going in space.

- Just shove that up in there. - I'm gonna take a break.

Nope. Just shove it up in there. That's pretty dang sour.

If it's gonna give him a nose bleed, I'm-- Yeah,

I'm just gonna go right down the middle and give it a five.

I feel like I was gonna give it a five, but now that my nose is pouring out

- blood, I'm gonna give it a six. - Okay. Alright, so that's a cumulative

- score of eleven. - Okay, well, the bleeding has stopped.

- (laughs) For now. - Hopefully I'm gonna make--

This could be the end, man. This could be my last episode.

And my head could just-- (makes ripping sound)

- Just melt off. - Well, you know what?

- Let's make it the best episode ever. - Yes!

I have cleansed my palette with some cinnamon water

- As I have. - to combat the sourness,

- and I'm ready to go. - Okay, have you ever been eating a grape

and thought, "You know, I wish this thing was covered

in skin like an orange, but five times as impractical to eat,

and ten times as sour?" Well you're in luck because that's

- a kumquat. - ♪(harp music)♪

- Come, quat. - Alright, here they are!

- That's how you call a kumquat. - They came hither.

Alright, I know about these because I had a little tree in my backyard.

You did have a tree. I've never actually ate one though.

- I ate one and then I just let them die - I didn't know they were sour.

- on the vine. Well, - (laughs)

it wasn't a vine, it was a tree, but they did die.

- Grab one there. - It does look like a grape shaped orange.

- And you eat the whole thing. - Oh, you're trolling me.

- Don't. Nope. You do not peel it. - I don't wanna eat the whole thing.

- Just bite it whole? - I'll bite half of it just to show 'em

what it looks like if you're curious, and then I--

- I am a curious cat, Link. - (laughs)

- I'm always so curious. - Alright.

- Why don't you bite that in half for me? - Lets see if this tops lemons.

Dink it. Woo!

- (crew laughs) - It's, like, juicing out of my mouth.

(spits) You got a seed? I got a seed.

The aromatic nature of it is, like, coming out of my nose.

It feels like sour smoke coming out of my nose, and then it goes away,

and you're just chewing what seems to be, like, an orange rind.

It goes away faster than the sourness of a lemon, and I actually don't know if--

- But it's immediately stronger. - I don't know if the peak was higher.

I will say that it had an intensity at the beginning,

but then it trailed off a lot sooner than the lemon did.

- Yeah. - And it doesn't--

I just don't think that it tastes that great.

- It's an unnatural feeling. - It's unnatural.

- (crew laughs) - To eat this rind.

I'ma give it a four and I'm also gonna give away my kumquat tree away to anyone

- that wants it. It'll be on the curb. - I'm gonna go with what I was going to

give a lemon because I feel like it was very intense but then it died off,

but it did make my nose bleed. Five!

(Link) So, kumquats get a nine! Alright, up next,

if you've been to India or you're from India, then you know about this one:

- ♪(harp music)♪ - Bitter gourd juice.

Alright, I wonder if it's gonna be bitter. Well, bitter is not necessarily sour.

Bitter is kinda like grape fruit, but is it also sour?

It looks like a Ghostbusters branded, like, juice from 1987.

- Which is very cool. - Ecto-cooler!

- (Link) Ecto-juice. - Oh, yeah. Ecto-cooler.

- Ew. It doesn't smell like Ecto-cooler. - Oh.

Now, this is used in traditional medicine to treat all types of stuff,

- from gout to diabetes. - You know a lot about it.

It sounds like the kind of thing you would give to someone to, like,

end a marriage in India. Like, "He brought her the bitter gourd."

It'd be a euphemism. You wouldn't actually make anyone

- drink any of it. - "He brought out the bitter gourd,"

- last night? - Yeah.

I think it's kinda heartless in addition to getting divorced,

- (crew laughs) - you have to drink sour juice?

- That's kinda insulting. - It's when you say something

and then you regret it later. (exaggerated southern accent) "I had to

drink the bitter gourd juice on that one!"

- Alright, let's do that. - Welcome to India.

(exaggerated southern accent) I gotta apologize.

- (normal voice) Here we go. - (groans)

- Eugh! - (normal voice) I would've sworn

I got into something I shouldn't have got into.

- Ew! - (crew laughs)

You know? I think this is antifreeze.

- Y'all are trying to kill us! - (laughs) Yep.

We're drinking antifreeze on this show. What has this come to?

- Both nostrils are gonna start bleeding. - It's not aromatic in any way.

It bites my tongue and then it wont let go.

Is there a purpose for this that's medicinal?

- Yeah, man. Gout. - It tastes like you accidentally

picked up an old man's tobacco juice, like, at The Cupboard in Fuquay.

It's like, "Oh, I reached for the Coke, and I grabbed the tobacco spit."

Yeah. Yeah. Which he refrigerates for some good reason.

- (crew laughs) - "Well, it's turned green 'cause

- I left it in there all summer." - The best thing about this is the

- soothing color. - Yeah.

- Everything else is horrible. - The funny thing is is it's just

really bad. It's not-- Would sour be the way you describe it?

- Yeah it's-- I would-- - Bitter. Bitter.

I would-- Yeah. Only bitter.

I think the sour component is actually kinda low.

- Is there just a bad component? - (crew laughs)

- I give it a ten as far as being bad, - Ten on badness. In terms of sourness--

but I'm gonna give it a three of sourness.

- Yeah, I was thinking three too. - Oh! Same wavelength.

So, the cumulative score of bitter gourd juice:

(Rhett) Six! Now, I love to eat a hotdog with some

sauerkraut on it, but I usually don't take it and

squeeze it until sauerkraut juice comes out, but apparently it's pretty sour.

- ♪(harp music)♪ - Sauerkraut juice.

Boy, you really squeezed some hot dogs, Chase.

- (crew laughs) - Well, I think he just--

- I think he just bought saurkraut. - (laughs) Oh gosh.

Oh go-- It is-- It's heinous.

Oh my goodness. Well how do you even come up with this

- that we're gonna have to drink this? - It's like this part of my face starts to,

- like, go up. - Woah. You've got some serious

- cheekage, man. - Look at that. I can do that.

- (crew laughs) - I can create a flesh moustache

- on my own face. - It's like, you can start crying and

do that, and, like, it'll be like power washers.

Like coming down the rivers on your face, and, like, you can probably cut some

diamonds with those. You ever thought about that?

Cut diamonds with my flesh moustache? Alright. Here we go.

- Dink it. Drink it. - Here we go.

- It's not bad. - (crew laughs)

- (coughs) - I kinda like it.

- (crew laughs) - I'd like to sprinkle it on stuff!

- (laughs) Really? You're crazy! - (laughs)

- You're crazy! - Get a little tube of it.

- Get a little tube. - I'm one of those people that,

like, pull it out of my man purse at nice restaurants. I'm like,

- "I gotta put a little cheese on it." - Here's the thing.

- Is there a difference between tangy - (Rhett) A ting. (laughs)

- and sour? - (awkward voice) "Is there a difference

- between tangy and sour?" (laughs) - Tangy. (laughs) It's made you drunk.

- (crew laughs) - What's wrong with you?

- One sip and you're-- - I lost some blood earlier in this episode,

- man. - (crew and Link laugh)

- I lost a lot of blood. - It's not as sour as the lemon.

- It's got this tangy tang tangness to it. - It's bitter. It's bitter.

But it's still a bitterness not a sourness. Yeah. I'm giving this a three.

- So it comes in at-- - I give it a three as well.

(Link) So the sauerkraut juice comes in at a six!

Okay, generally, when something says the word 'toxic' on it,

you don't immediately put it in your mouth, but we don't play by your rules, man.

- So we're gonna eat some - ♪(harp music)♪

Toxic Waste candy. Here it is,

and these are black cherry flavored Toxic Waste which, our research tells us,

- (Rhett) Yes. - is the sourest of the Toxic Waste.

- It makes 'em edible, right? - And when I smell it it smells like

- cherries. Grab that. - This doesn't-- You know--

- Yeah, this is innocuous. - This doesn't

- (both) seem - like it can do that much.

- You know, - I don't think it can.

when I'm holding, like, a really hot pepper, I'm thinking,

- "This is gonna kill me. - Yeah. It's hurting.

I'm gonna be hurting for a long time,"

- but it's just a piece of candy. - It starts to emanate.

- It can't really do that much. - Yeah. Candy is for kids.

Right, I mean, what if-- Take it in a movie theater and you just

- watch and-- - Dink it and sink it

- Can't hurt you that bad, right? - Woah.

- (crew laughs) - So--

- (crew laughs) - (Rhett) Turnin' into Red Charles

- over here. - Oh. It's getting worse.

- Georgia! - (crew laughs)

- Georgia. - It's starting to subside a little bit.

Oh! My shoulders tense up. They go like that for some reason.