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One of the fun things that you can do in everyday life is to develop a technique that I call
the love detector. And here’s how it works. In everyday life we are constantly mirroring
with our facial expressions, with our body language, even with our breathing and our
heart rates people who we like. And the more that we feel like we really understand somebody,
we’re really connecting with them, we’re really clicking with them, the more likely
we are to physically mirror what they’re doing. So if you’re sitting across from
somebody, you’re having a meeting, you’re having a first date and you notice that you
both have your head kind of tilted to the same side or maybe you’re both leaning into
the table with your head on your hand like this. And you haven’t don’t it on purpose
but you notice just in that instant wait, we’re really – we’re sitting the same
way. And oftentimes in my own experience it’ll be really strange positions. You’ll be leaning
back with one arm out here and you’re like whoa, how did we get into this position.
Well the way it happened is you are both feeling connected. You feel like you are clicking
and so because of that you’re physically starting to mirror each other. And some people
would advise you to do this intentionally to kind of trick the other person into thinking
that wow, we’re really getting on. Look, they won’t consciously know it but their
brain will perceive it. I think that’s kind of creepy and really awkward. So instead of
using this knowledge to I don’t know maybe manipulate people into thinking that you’re
bonding, just use it as a love detector. Happen to notice in everyday life when you’re physically
mirroring people and that’s just a signal to you. It’s a clue to you, hey, here’s
somebody that I really connected with at a very deep level. This is somebody who would
be a great ally, a great collaborator. Somebody that I should definitely spend more time connecting
with in the future.