- Agar-dot-io. Agar.io.

- Agar.io, okay. So this is one word.

Why is there a period in the middle of the word?

- I've never heard of it. It's got color in spots.

- (gasps) Agar.io! Yes! I have this game on my phone!

- This game is like the best. This game is like crack.

- (Finebros) Agar.io is a game where you start as a tiny cell

trying to absorb other cells and other players online.

It's eat or be eaten. - I like the sound of that.

- I don't think I could ever just sit down

and think of a game this bizarre.

- (Finebros) We're gonna let you play a bunch of rounds,

and hopefully you can make it onto the leader board.

- (intrigued) Ooh.

I think it sounds really fun.

- I think I'm gonna destroy some people right now.

- Since I play this game on my phone, I think I'll do good on PC.

- "Move your mouse to control your cell.

Press Space to split. Press W to eject some mass."

- (Finebros) Go ahead and pick your username.

- Is it gonna be the name of my cell?

- I put "move."

'Cause I want people to move out of my way.

- "Willson."

- "Swiggity."

- "Morgiesmores."

- My Hebrew name is Shlomo. So I'm gonna call myself "Shlomo."

- The only name that there is: "JOHNCENA!"

- Okay.

Oh, whoa.

- Yes. Queen. I like it already.

- Let's go.

- There I am. Whee.

(muttering quietly)

Out of my way. God damn it.

Oh wait, that was fast. I usually play on my--

Okay, wait, I'm playing again.

- Let's go, JOHNCENA!

And then I press Space and I split up.

Okay, that didn't do anything. Why is it not doing anything?

I died.

The space bar wasn't working.

These controls are just not working for me, man.

- (Finebros) You can't split when you're that small.

- Ohhh.

- Oh my god. I'm already so big.

I thought was gonna be smaller. Wait, ooh.

- (Finebros) Don't forget to run away from the bigger cells.

- Oh yeah. Wait.

Okay, I need to do this again. Did I just die?

- Am I supposed to pick these things up?

- (Finebros) You're supposed to absorb them.

- Oh.

If this is all I have to do, then this is my new favorite game.

- Basically you want to grab all the little cells to get bigger.

Like that. Ohp. Okay. Let's go away from that name.

- I'm gonna absorb DOGE.

Come here. Come here!

(quietly) Ah.

So-- okay, so some people can go faster than others?

- (Finebros) The smaller you are, the faster you go.

- Gotcha.

Wow, this is-- no! Aah!

(disappointed) Oh.

I got eaten. Absorbed.

- (singsong) Circles, little sprinkles. Get the little sprinkles.

Oh my god, I'm gonna get eaten. Look, it's eating me.

I didn't know it was the end of the thing,

and I just got crushed.

- So I'm doing pretty good right now. My score is at 50.

So when I get to 100, I think I will start eating people.

- Is there somebody about my size, like that 1up guy right there?

Can I eat him?

- (Finebros) You want to be visibly larger than the other cells,

and then you can eat them.

- Okay, so I got to be way bigger than him then?

There we go. Yeah. I just absorbed somebody.

- Look at all-- the little babies are over here.

I want to eat HonestMajorus.

I did it; I ate one of them.

- I want to make it on the leader board.

Hey, it's Barack Obama. (chuckles)

I want to eat him right now.

Ooh! Someone gave me some of their mass.

Oh my gosh, this guy.

No. No-no-no-no-no. Okay, I'm good. I'm good.

Ooh! (inhales sharply)

Ooh, and I'm jukes.

I'm doing pretty good,

as long as someone doesn't eat me outta nowhere.

(gasps) Yes, I ate someone!

- But now there's two of me? Oh, okay.

This is cute. Now I get twice the sprinkles.

And they just travel together?

- No. I'm kinda stuck. No.

But I saved myself.

- Whoa! Okay, that's really weird.

Why is your name Poland?

(sternly) Okay, no, you're gonna get--

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. W.

(rapid tapping) I meant to--

Oh my gaaahd. What's going on?

I just split up into four, so now there are four of me.

Ooh, I feel like I have a little army now.

That guy's cool though. He has a Pokémon.

Poké Bowl-- Pok-ay Bow-- Poké Ba--

Oh god, no. (rapid tapping)

Poland just killed me.

- Oh snap, I didn't mean to split. That's not what I meant to do.

Aaand I'm dead.

All right, here we go. Round three.

Wow! Just spawn me right next to the giant guy please.

That's how I like to play the game.

Aaand I'm gone. JurassicFart just got me.

- (nervously) No.

Avoiding the... big guys! Oh god.

He's really, really-- damn it.

- "Pls no." (breathy laugh)

I'm pls no right now.

- Who takes the time to play this game?

There's no adventure to it. It's just blob.

- Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.

I'm floating around, collecting all these other--

it makes me think about life, you know what I mean?

We're just all insignificant little specs on graph paper

being absorbed by other life forms.

- I'm just gonna-- just gonna pop on through.

Okay, I-- oh wait, can I just--

Ohhhhhh.

- These are like viruses.

And if you're small enough to fit in them, you can hide.

- I'm at 380 so far. I ate one and--

Ohp! Just ate someone else.

Woo! Hands free.

Wait, oh, snap. (laughing) Wait. Let's not do hands-free anymore.

Oh snap, that's a--

Oh. He-hey.

I'm gonna team with this guy.

(taps key) Oh snap. Oh my gosh.

It froze.

Oh gosh, please don't kill me. Please don't kill me.

It wasn't my fault!

(determined) Willson must win.

Oh, I already ate someone. That's what I'm talking about.

Let's go! Today's gonna be a good--

Oh. Okay.

- ♪ Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful ♪

I'm gonna eat this guy. POPPY, come over here.

(gasps) Can I go faster now?

I just made him bigger! What the heck? That was stupid.

- No, no, no, no, no. Oh, papiii.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay, I was so close.

Okay, no. I wanted to eat those.

There, you orange bitch.

Wait, I want to get you. There we go.

- Regardless of the fact that I'm sucking, I'm having fun.

And I think that's the most important part

when you're playing this game.

Ooh, I just got bigger.

And you were probably gonna eat me.

How am I still alive?

- (mutters quietly)

Gah-- what? Dang it. I'm smaller than him now.

Now, I can't merge back together ever, can I?

Or I can. It just happened. I've done the impossible.

Ooh, did you see that narrow escape right there?

And I'm sinking into it, but I'm running away,

'cause he was gonna kill me.

- Whoa, why did I re-merge?

Does that happen sporadically?

Oh-ho! Damn it! I got eaten by the Kawaii!

How about "Consumerism"?

Consumerism ate you. That's appropriate.

- Hands free. Crack the knuckles. Let's go.

Ho!

Oh! Oh!! Oh!!! I just ate that person!

That's what you get for trying to kill me.

He wants to team, but I don't want to team with him.

(gasps) Oh! Oh snap! Let's go!

- Sarah Palin?

I want to eat her. Okay.

That is so weird. Barack Obama just killed me.

- Oh. It's 'cause they're smaller,

'cause they're just a little tiny bit faster.

Oh, we're all just trying to--

People are [bleep] rude on this game.

Like, I'm just trying to do a little better.

What if this is my first time? You're just ruining it.

- This will be my last-- my last one.

Let's try this.

Oh god. Oh god. Reddit won't leave me alone.

That's too close to my real life.

(yelps) Apple just got really large. (snickering)

(inhales deeply)

Gah! I had to split. I had to do it.

But it's okay. And I got eaten.

I was doing so well at not dying.

- Oh, I'm so screwed right now. This is a bad idea.

Now I'm really tiny. There's only two of me.

Ooh, there's a big mass. (high-pitched voice) Mine.

(long gasp) No, no, no.

Oh my god, how am I still alive?!

This just brings back weird memories

of "I'm trying to study in the library,

but I don't feel like it 'cause I'm playing Agar.io."

God damn it.

I got a five-minute run. That's pretty good.

I didn't get on the leader board.

But that's okay 'cause it's still fun.

- And there's the sun.

(singsong) Have you seen the sun? I have.

W-w-what?

I went over one of the things

you're supposed to be able to hide in when you're tiny,

and it split me into eight of me.

And now there's only five of-- and now there's only one of me.

(quietly) Oh my god, I'm terrible at this.

(loudly) Oh my god, I'm terrible at this game.

Come on. Come on. Give him to me.

No!

JOHNCENA! needs to merge.

JOHNCENA! didn't merge. That's what happened.

I tried. I gave it my all.

- (sarcastically) Oh great, we have another big person.

Come on. Ugh.

I coulda ate-- (gasps deeply)

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no.

No, no-- yes. Spare Willson.

Oh. Keep going. Keep going, my friend.

I'll give you one. Boom, that's it. Oh.

Oh. Yes, I can eat him.

Yea--

Oh! Oh! Forget teaming. I'm eating everyone!

Come on, let's go. Come on, I can eat him.

I can eat him. Come on.

Yes!! I'm on the leader board! Ugh!!

I'm on top six.

Woo! I'm on the leader board. That's all that matters.

- It was good. It was not something

I will probably spend much of my time playing.

- It was more fun than I expected, I'm not gonna lie.

It thought it was gonna be pretty stupid.

- I'll play it for, like, a couple hours. That sounds really bad.

And then I'll get over it. I'll get bored.

And then in a few weeks,

I'll be like, "Oh, I should play Agar.io."

And then it's just like this vicious cycle.

- I love it but I hate it.

It's just so simple and so fun. Like, you think that it's easy.

And then as soon as you're about to get somebody,

somebody else just, "Oh, nope, I'm the sun," and you're gone.

I'm just going home and I'm playing Agar.io now for forever.