[soft music begins]

You know, she's my older sister She seemed very very cool to me, you know

She understood the world a lot better [giggle] than I did.

My judgment and my rating of her coolness was so... so... so over inflated

When Tanya came back one time she had this piece of art homework to draw a monster

and she didn't want to do it at all.

She told me "You have to do my homework" And I totally did it

you know, just anything to be around her.

[laughter] She actually needed me! needed my abilities! it was really special for me.

Last June, Tanya committed suicide.

I didn't know how to deal with it so I wrote her this letter.

I still wanted to help.

[sizzlling]

Dear Tanya... I love you

I wish I could have told you that it'd be okay.

And that you didn't have to be alone

because we all get knocked down.

We all face bad things.

I wish I could have told you to fight through it...

but I didn't.

[explosion]

[punching]

[metal clang]

I wish I told you "you'd be happy"

And that there's a reason for the pain.

[growling]

But I didn't.

[large explosion]

Missing you really hurts.

And I try and fight it

but it doesn't go away.

[metal hammering]

It's like a monster

that keeps showing up

to remind me that you're gone.

I want it to stop...

but it never will...

that's not its job.

[children singing]

Maybe it's my fault I don't have a sister anymore

[ethereal singing]

'cause I wasn't there to show you...

if you look at it right

even hell can be pretty.

Every hit has a reason

even yours.

I didn't tell you what I should have

so I'll tell everyone else

So that one tragedy to one person can forge a message

that can do a lot of good for a lot of people.

Stand your ground.

See the hits for what they really are:

a blacksmith

who through fire and trauma

can turn the broken...

into the amazing.

[very large explosion]

Something that doesn't just take the hits

but something that hits back.

For anybody hurting like she was...

use the pain.

Let good come from bad.

It'll hurt

the hits will never stop

they'll only get tougher

but so will you.

And hopefully someday,

I will too.