you seemed to think it was some sort of magical miracle job where you could just like travel

and have fun and go to Japan and Korea and stuff and that's not what it was at all. And

I'm sure most of you are going to be disappointed, and quite a few of you are probably also going

to be angry, too. So I can't wait to read the comments on this video later. So I was

an officer in the United States Air Force and this is going to answer like a hundred

of the questions that you guys have always asked me, so I'm going to go ahead and answer

them all here in this video now. Along with a bunch of the questions that I'm assuming--

it's a bug. Along with a bunch of the questions I'm that

I'm assuming I'm going to get after this video. So please watch this whole video before asking

me questions down in the comments. After that of course you're free to ask me what you want.

I can't guarantee you I'm going to answer it because I'm not going to talk about my

job details. I'm not going to talk about my AFSC. You just don't put that kind of military

stuff out on the internet. So, sorry if I can't answer your questions.

So this is why Jun and I lived apart for 4 1/2 years. Because I had a contract, and one

does not just break a military contract. Especially as an officer. If you want to get out of your

contract as an officer it has to go up to the Secretary of the Air Force. That's a really

big freaking deal! So yeah, it's not easy. You can't just like say, "I'm not doing this

anymore!" You get put in military prison! This is also why I was supposed to move to

Korea a long time ago, because I had orders to go to Korea for an assignment. They cancelled

my orders literally the day before I was supposed to leave, because--I don't know if you can

see this, if this video is like too bright or whatever. I know you can see it on some

of my other videos. This is a scar from the smallpox vaccine. Because if you're going

to Korea, you get the smallpox vaccine because North Korea is CRAZY. You don't know if one

day maybe Kim Jong Un just decides to release smallpox on South Korea. So, I had a rare

reaction to that called Myopericarditis that damaged my heart. And they decided that suddenly

I couldn't do like anything anymore and instead of going to Korea I became an instructor for

international officers, which was actually really cool. I got to work with officers from

countries all over the world. I think I worked with like 13 different countries, including

Japan. I did get to work with an officer from the Self Defense Forces. He was really nice

and very professional. He was a very good representative of Japan. I worked with quite

a few officers of much higher rank than me from the Middle East. And being the ignorant

person that I am I didn't know how it was going to be being a woman of a lower rank

being their instructor. Be they were all extremely respectful of me. And originally what I wanted

to do was work with people from other cultures and I did get to do that, I guess. And that

was pretty cool. So when I was in university I was taking steps

to improve myself and I started exercising in the morning with one of my friends. I was

approached one day by someone from the Army ROTC who was like, "You know the army could

use women like you who care about their physical fitness." And I was like, "PFFFT I'm not joining

the army! Are you crazy?" But I am an open person and even if it's something that I don't

agree with I still want to listen to what the other person's saying. So I went and I

made an appointment to go talk to their person anyway just to see what they had to say. And

what they told me was actually pretty interesting. At that time I had no idea what I wanted to

do. I had been switching majors all over the place, from Geology to Graphic Design to International

Relations. And there were several things that appealed to me about the idea of being an

officer in the military. One of them was I might be able to get a scholarship, and being

that I was paying for my own tuition that was kind of appealing. One of them was I could

do it for two years without signing a contract so I could learn more about what it was actually

like before making any sort of commitment, which was really reassuring. It was going

to force me to get in shape because I hated exercising. It was going to force me to learn

how to become a leader. And I've said this before in earlier videos but I used to be

an extremely shy person. Getting up in front of people, my heart would be pounding so much,

my face would be completely red. I would forget everything. I wouldn't be able to talk to

people. I cried in front of authority figures because I was so intimidated. So I thought

maybe this could be good for my self-improvement. I thought as an officer it wouldn't be like

I was just following orders and not being able to make any sort of decisions. I figured

as an officer I would be the person leading other people. So I thought maybe I could be

that person in that position who could help the military overall make better decisions

that are better for my country and better for other countries. Maybe I could help inspire

the people who are under me to care about the people in other countries so that we don't

abuse anyone. I thought I might be able to get to travel with this. I could go meet people

from other countries. Maybe I could be like some sort of liaison so I could help them

understand us and us understand them so that we're doing something that's better for both

of us. I wanted to be that person who could like

help make the military a better place and I thought you know as an officer maybe I could

do something like that. And the other thing that was really reassuring for me coming from

someone who would never, ever join the military, was that the oath we took as an officer was

to defend the Constitution. It wasn't to defend our President. It wasn't to defend someone

else's needs. It was to defend the Constitution. We were taught constantly in training that

if we are given an illegal order, it's our duty to disobey that illegal order. And then

of course if you complete your four years of active duty and then you get out of the

military, you have really great experience to put on your resume. So that might help

me get a different, better job later on. So for all of those reasons I decided I might

as well just try it out for the free trial period where I don't have to make any promises

or sign any contracts or anything, just to see if I really thought it's something I might

be interested in. And at my university we had Army ROTC and

we had Air Force ROTC right across the hall from each other. And I went home and I talked

to everyone I knew and I was like, "I'm thinking about joining the military. Should I join

the army or should I join the Air Force?" And every single one of them said, "Join the

Air Force! Do not join the Army!!" And so I was like, "Oh, okay, I guess. I don't know

anything about the military so I guess I'll trust your opinion." And I went in and I just

joined the Air Force ROTC. And I had this image in my mind of like military people being

like super tough, like brutish people, like hulk-type people. But it turns out that each

branch kind of has its own specific type of person. And the Air Force branch is the nerdy

branch. And so pretty much half of them were engineers, most of them played video games.

Even the people I knew who got pilot slots played WoW. And so I was kind of like, "Oh...

these are my people! You know, I kinda feel like I belong here." And at that time I was

studying both Russian and Japanese because they were the two coolest languages that my

school offered. And when the cadre found out, one of them was like, "You know, if you major

in Japanese, we can give you a full scholarship." I was like, "Really?! I can major in a language

and have my school paid for?! YES, I WILL DO THAT! OKAY!!" But we didn't have a Japanese

major at my school at that time. We had Asian Studies. And at that time, for the Foreign

Express Scholarship you could do an area studies and still get the scholarship as long as you

focused in the language that you were supposed be majoring in. And that's why!! That's why

I spent so much time learning Japanese! And so that's what I did. And I had this image

in my mind of like, you know, one day when I commission and I become a real officer,

they're going to send me to another country. Maybe they'll send me to Japan because I'm

studying Japanese and then I can be a liaison and I can do good stuff for people! And so

I signed a contract with them, I got my full scholarship, they helped pay for my school,

and it was awesome. And then my final summer in college it was a free summer for me so

I wanted to study abroad somewhere at least once. And since I was getting paid to learn

Japanese, and I was majoring in Japanese, I was like, "I'll go to Japan!"

And I got to Japan and literally one of the first people I met when I got off the plane

was Jun. Within two weeks I was madly head over heels for him. He eventually asked me

out and right away we pretty much decided we wanted to be together forever. And EVERYTHING

about my priorities changed and I no longer wanted to do military stuff. I just wanted

to be with Jun. But it was too late because I already signed my contract. So I had to

go back to America. I had to serve my active duty. We didn't really have any options because

Jun was still in university. He had longer to go than me before he graduated. And then

even after that he was the oldest son in his family and he kind of needed to stay in Japan

and get a job and that kind of stuff. So there wasn't really much I could do unless I could

be stationed near him (because we have three Air Force bases in Japan). But the military

doesn't care about boyfriends. They don't care about fiancés. So, in order for them

to care about me being with Jun so that they could help me get closer to him, we had to

be married. So we kind of got married a little quickly: only a year and a half after we met.

We never had a ceremony. I never changed my name or anything. And it helped because they

did try to get me to Japan. There just weren't any jobs available there, so... They were

able to get me a job in Korea but then you know how that turned out. And so now, after

my contract I'm finally here in Japan with Jun! And I'm so happy that we're finally together.

There were a lot of things I really hated about the military. I resented it so much

for keeping me from Jun, even though in the end it's my fault because I signed a contract.

I knew I was giving my life away for four years. It was really, really hard being apart

from Jun. I suffered from really bad depression and extreme anxiety. At the worst, before

they finally found the right medicine for me I was having panic attacks every single

day. They damaged my heart, and that kind of sucks! I need this for the rest of my life.

I don't like that that happened. There are a lot of small things about the military that

can just drive you crazy. I hate ancillary training. I hate unit PT. I hate the uniform!

Why can't they make a uniform for my size? I'm a very thin person. They don't make uniforms

for thin women. My uniform was like this: I looked like a block. I can't have these

bangs. My hair's pulled back behind my head in a bun. You can't wear a lot of makeup.

I looked ridiculous and I hated it. So when I wasn't working, I started wearing a lot

of makeup. I started wearing dresses and heels everywhere. And so that's why in a lot of

my videos you've seen me with really feminine styles and stuff: because I was tired of looking

like a man five days out of the week. I just wanted to feel pretty. There are so many tiny

rules in the military. They pretty much control like everything. So if you're someone like

me and you need your independence, then the military is not for you. But I don't know

if I ever even would have gone to Japan, or if I ever would have met Jun, or if I ever

would have started doing videos, or if I ever would have developed this kind of self-confidence

where I can be in front of people and not like start crying. I don't know if I would

have been able to do that without the military. So, some good things did come of it. And I

mean, they paid for my school so that was kind of cool, too. I did really like a lot

of the people that I worked with. A lot of the people in the Air Force are really nerdy.

When I was doing my training to become an instructor, literally every single day in

that class someone brought up LARPing. A MSgt that I worked with gave me A Dance with Dragons,

the 5th book from Game of Thrones. I think my base had a DnD club? And so in the end

there were good things and there were bad things, and I don't really know how I feel

about it. All I know is I'm glad it's over. And I want to move on with my life now. So

I will answer questions that I can answer down in the comments here, but I'm not going

to talk about it in other videos. I'm not going to like, be bringing it up all the time

like, "You know, back when I was in the military-" So... that's it. That's what my job was. You

can ask me all your questions now down in the comments, like, "How many babies did you

kill?" Looking forward to it. And no, I never did go to an active war zone or anything like

that. Like I said, I had that heart condition so I was pretty medically limited throughout

a lot of my contract. And for those of you who might have been thinking about saying

it, please don't thank me for my service. I didn't do anything. It was just a job. It's

a little uncomfortable being thanked for something that doesn't deserve thanks, so. Well, thanks

for watching all this way! I think you guys know a lot more about me now. And I'll see

you next time! Bye!