- Does it get better than this? - Question:

- You're not dating anybody, are you? Because I've met somebody would be...

- ...perfect for you! - You see perfect might be a problem. Had you said...

...codependent or self-destructive...

- Do you want a date Saturday? - Yes, please.

OK. He is cute. He is funny. He...

- ...is a he? - Well, yeah. Oh, God.

I just... I thought... You're not... Good, Shelly... OK.

I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now. OK. Bye, bye.

- So what is it about me? - I don't know. - Coz you're smart, you're funny...

Ross is smart and funny. D'you ever think that about him?

- Yeah right! - WHAT IS IT?!

OK. I don't know. You just... You have a quality.

- Yes! Right? A quality. - Oh, oh, a quality? Good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.

I just have to know.

OK? Is it my hair?

Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.

Yeah, you have homosexual hair.

Hey gorgeous.

- Hey, look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I... - No, don't worry about that.

Believe me. Apparently other people have made the same mistake.

Oh! OK! Phew!

- So, what do you think it is about me? - I don't know why.

- You just have a... - Quality, right. Great.

You know, it's a shame because you and Lowell would have made a great couple.

Lowell? Financial service's Lowell? That's who you saw me with?

- What? He's cute. - Well, yeah... He's no Brian in payroll.

- Is Brian? - No! I don't know. Point is that if you were gonna set me up with someone,

I'd like to think you would set me up with somebody like him.

Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league.

Excuse me, you don't think I could get a Brian?

Because I could get a Brian! Believe you me!

I'm really not.

Chandler, I love you, man.

And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay!

Doesn't matter to me.

You were right.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

I love you the most.

- Well... You know who I love the most? - No. - You!

Oh, you don't get it!

- Hey Lowell. - Oh, hey Chandler. - So how's it going down there...

- ...in financial services? - It's like mardi gras with paper mache heads.

- How about you? - Good, good. Listen...

Um, I don't know what Shelly told you about me...

...but...

I'm not.

I know. That's what I told her.

- Really? - Yep.

So... you can tell?

Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.

So you don't think I have a... a quality?

Speaking for my people I'd have to say... no.

- By the way, your friend, Brian from payroll. He is. - He is?

Yep and way out of your league.

Out of my league! I could get a Brian. If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian.

Hey Brian.