Review GoldenEye 007 - VoiceTube: Learn English through videos!

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So, I'll ask you again, Mr. Bond. How shall we execute you?
You are aware of the penalty for terrorism in Russia.
Who's the traitor in your government?
What do you know about the Janus group?
Why did you set off the GoldenEye?!?
Stop it! Both of you! You are like... Boys with toys.
It was... Ourumov.
Hmpf... General Ourumov. Why would he do such a thing?
There were two GoldenEye satellites. He set off one to steal the other.
General Ourumov...
Minister Mishkin.
How dare you interrogate this man without my presence?!?
This man is a spy.
He killed minister Mishkin...
With his own gun.
Move!
Good luck, Mr. Bond.
"Good luck, Mr. Bond."
Welcome to the parallel universe of GoldenEye.
A world in which all the characters had their faces changed.
A world in which the French voice acting
reminds you of old 70's soap operas.
A world in which the stages, with a lot of imagination,
might make you think you're in the movie,
or in a remastered version of the game of '97 on the N64.
But it takes a lot of creativity.
To sum it up,
welcome to a game that shares nothing with GoldenEye but the title.
Except for a few nods here and there,
like this opening sequence you just saw,
which is a copy-paste of the scene in the movie.
A dialogue between the general Ourumov,
the russian defense minister Dmitri Mishkin,
and Natalya, which looks a bit like Natalie Imbruglia.
I don't know, but it makes me think of Natalie Imbruglia,
but I'm surely the only one.
I'll be honest with you: you never feel like you're in the movie,
or even in the original game. Never.
Except for a few nods, or some sequences that remind you of the movie,
because they directly refer to a specific scene from the movie.
They're the only sequences that make you think:
"Holy shit, I'm in GoldenEye! I had forgotten!
We're in GoldenEye, guys! Whoohoo, it's GoldenEye!"
And what I'm saying now is nothing.
What really bothered me isn't the fact that I didn't feel like in GoldenEye,
in spite of what you're watching on your LCD screen.
What's the worst is that you never feel like you're James Bond.
Either Pierce Brosnan, or Daniel Craig, or Sean Connery, or Roger Moore,
or George Lazenby, or even Timothy Dalton.
And I didn't have to look for these names, because I'm a big fan of 007.
My father was a big fan himself, and we bought all the VHS.
I watched all the 007 movies, and I know them inside out.
So I didn't have to look for these names.
But what matters is: as a James Bond fan,
I can say that this game doesn't recreate a 007-like atmosphere.
I could hardly imagine I was taking control of 007.
There's no atmosphere.
Why? Why... I don't know...
Because this FPS is insipid. Because this FPS is classless.
The characters are two-dimentional...
The characters look like shit. You've seen their faces.
You've seen how Ourumov looks.
You've seen Dmitri Mishkin, who looks hopeless:
a cheap bureaucrat with glasses and a tuxedo.
What's that?
Only Natalya looks decent. All the others are pathetic.
Boris isn't even there anymore. Exit Boris, he's taking a nap.
Really, it's a total disaster.
Some of you might think that it's not important,
or that the copyright caused some issues.
Well, that part is true, but it doesn't justify everything.
First, nobody knows if it was a problem with the copyright.
We don't know whether they couldn't,
or didn't want to use these characters.
Well, I also think that it's a copyright issue,
that would be logical.
But it doesn't justify everything.
The artistic direction (that includes the characters),
is a total disaster.
And it's not because they don't look like the live actors.
They really are catastrophic, because of the screenplay,
and because of the voice acting.
It's pathetic, hopeless.
And what about the story?
The player never feels concerned by the storyline.
And it's messy as hell, you don't understand shit.
There's a briefing at the beginning of each mission,
but sincerely, you don't give a damn.
Actually, the player plays a FPS
that should've developed its storyline, but hasn't.
Eurocom guys couldn't care less about the storyline.
So I was sorely disappointed,
because I thought the scenario would be developed,
but not at all. GoldenEye on the Wii
is a very plain FPS that can be played in stealth mode,
or in slaughter mode.
The problem is that the stealth is extremely repetitive,
with an enemy A.I that is, to tell the truth, mediocre.
And when you want to play in open fight,
the game turns into a poor man's version of Call of Duty.
Because the gameplay is really poor,
you can't even throw grenades,
and Bond doesn't have any gadget whatsoever.
You play as James Bond, and there's no gadgets?
It's unbelievable! Unbelievable!
Where are the mines, the proximity mines, the remote mines, the timed mines?
Not even grenades! What's that?
You can throw grenades in every other FPS in the world!
Here, there are grenades, but only in multiplayer mode.
But for now, let's focus on the Solo mode.
In solo mode, there are no gadgets,
no grenades, nothing at all.
That's simple: when you want to be stealthy,
you equip the Walter P-99 with a silencer.
"The silencer!" That's right!
So, you try to take the enemies down with it.
And when a soldier triggers the alarm,
all the guards in the whole level come down to get you,
they all go apeshit!
When it happens, you grab your automatic gun,
and shoot everything up.
That's how it works, from the beginning to the end.
There's absolutely nothing else.
Sometimes, there's a special sequence,
you saw it in the Direct Live, like when Bond gets in a truck,
but this kind of sequences is extremely rare.
Sometimes, there isn't a single one in a whole level.
The overall game is really generic.
I thought there would be a lot of phases like that, but no.
But since there's only a few of them, so much the better.
Because these shoot'em up sequences
that have no other purpose than pacing the game
tend to annoy me, so that's a good thing.
And just in case you hadn't noticed it yet, this review's in voice-over.
I thought about it, I tried to do it while playing, and...
It worked, but I played poorly,
and it was laborious... It actually sucks.
I won't review every game in voice-over,
but sometimes it's better this way, I'm calmer.
This way I can really tell you what I have in mind.
So, this GoldenEye... Well, I told you my opinion.
What I liked the most is the overall gameplay.
Stealth-like, or slaughter-like.
However, I just told you it was shit.
Yes, but it's the core gamelay,
that's what you do 75% of the time.
Roughly speaking, when you start a level,
you try to be stealthy.
By the way, I think that half of the enemies are free kills.
Some of them flat out give you their back.
They ask for it!
They don't even look at you, so you can sneak behind them,
and kill them in no time, by snapping their neck, for example.
Half of the enemies do that. Maybe they're looking for stuff?
And the other half does rounds. And when I say "rounds",
I mean they're litterally going circles.
So you plan your approach, you see how the rounds work.
You try to get behind the enemies, or shoot them in the head,
hoping that it won't screw up, because the hitbox is poorly made.
Sometimes you're sure that you'll reach your target,
and the soldier isn't even hurt.
He turns back, fires at you, and calls all his buddies.
That's absolute bullshit. It happened to me several times,
and I think all the players faced the same problem.
It's horrible! You aim between the eyes,
and the guy isn't even hurt! He could at least be stunned for a moment,
like on the Nintendo 64 game. The soldier should at least get hurt.
But here, he gets shot in the head and fires back in a split second!
And the damage recognition system was better on N64,
which is a shame, considering that this game came out 13 years ago.
Here, the damage recognition only works for the head.
It barely exists for the other body parts.
To sum up, it's this infiltration side of the game that I liked most.
So, what happens when you get spotted?
You can get spotted because of a camera,
you basically need to shoot them to avoid that.
You also can get spotted by a guard,
and that's where it becomes nonsense.
They don't even have a... How can I put it...
A walkie-talkie or anything like that.
They spot you, and they say:
"I have a visual on the target!"
and all the guards are instantly warned.
There's even an extra squad that comes out of nowhere.
It's lame!
Even if the guy is alone with nobody in a 50 yards circle!
Actually, if you miss your headshot, you still have some time to kill the guy.
I mean: you have two seconds to take a guard down.
Let's say it's three seconds.
No matter which body part you hit, you have two or three seconds.
If you can't take him down within this time limit,
which includes shooting him four times,
he'll call every guard in the area, and some more reinforcement.
And at this point, you're basically screwed,
and you enter the "slaughter mode".
You take cover to regenerate your health, then take cover etc...
And what I'm telling you now is actually the core gameplay.
So why did I like it?
Well, because the game difficulty is coherent.
I beat the game on Agent mode, the intermediate difficulty level.
After that, there's the 007 level, and the Classic 007 level.
And on Classic 007 mode, your lifebar doesn't fill up automatically.
The enemy A.I doesn't change, but when you get hit,
there's the same HUD as on the N64 game.
There's the lifebar on the left, in a quadrant,
and on the right, the bulletproof vest gauge.
And the bulletproof vests only exist on Classic 007 mode.
But it's an interesting challenge. And I don't even consider the time attack!
The time attack is the last difficulty level.
It's the same as the Classic 007 with a time limit.
Like 5, 10 or 15 minutes to complete the whole level.
And it's a totally crazy challenge.
Only the hardcore ones can complete all the levels on time attack mode.
It's extremely difficult.
I managed to beat some levels, even though I struggled a lot,
but I gave up on the other ones, it's extremely hard.
But the Classic 007 mode alone is very difficult.
Sometimes, you can't avoid getting hit.
You can't avoid it, and it forces you to find bulletproof vests.
If you don't, it's nearly impossible to finish some levels on Classic 007.
Anyway, since the levels are pretty long,
it takes 30 minutes to get through some of them.
The first time you explore them, it takes like 45 minutes.
So, since the levels are that long,
don't even bother trying to beat them stealthily.
It's almost impossible.
Even if you know the level by heart...
You'll always screw up a headshot at some point,
or be spotted by a patrol you didn't see,
or trigger an alarm for some reason.
It always gets messy, you can count on it.
You'll always trigger the alarm, and you'll be forced to switch on "Slaughter".
And on slaughter mode, you can't avoid getting hit.
I mean...
Technically, you can dodge everything,
but you need to be really good at it.
And I played with the Gamecube pad!
And God did I try with the Wiimote...
But seriously, I find it's unplayable.
Really, it's unplayable.
But I take back what I said during the Direct Live.
I said that not being able to move your wrist was a shame,
because it allowed the player to shoot in every direction
without changing positions.
Actually, it's possible to do it, but only with the Wiimote.
If you play with it, the wrist is independent,
and you can aim wherever you want.
But with the lag... Forget it.
It's horrible.
Playing with the Wiimote and the Nunchuk is a handicap.
It's outrageous. You're on the Wii,
and playing with the main controller is a handicap.
Can you believe it? I think it's outrageous.
I can't believe it. I'm not saying it's unplayable,
maybe it's even better than the Gamecube pad with a lot of practice.
But I tried for 30 minutes, and it was horrible.
Aiming is twice as long as with the Gamecube pad.
The lag is horrendous, it takes one second to move the cursor.
And one second means getting your ass kicked!
And if you move too fast, the Wiimote cursor goes away,
and you have to get it back by aiming at the center of the screen...
Actually, you're obliged to go slowly.
It doesn't bother me in games like Resident Evil: the Umbrella Chronicles,
or Link's Crossbow Training Zelda, or something like that...
It doesn't bother me, because you're not obliged to go fast.
The game is meant to be played slowly.
That's why it works just fine.
But in GoldenEye 007, you need to be fast!
And you can't be fast with the Wiimote.
That lag doesn't allow it.
So, that's why I beat the game with the Gamecube pad.
And I really think that the Wiimote-nunchuk combo is unplayable.
It's time that Nintendo releases a new console without any lag at all, in HD.
Why HD? Because...
Let's say it: this game is rather beautiful.
It depends on the levels, but the outdoor levels are beautiful.
The jungle, Severnaya, or even the train station,
they're all really beautiful. Not only decent: beau-ti-ful.
The only thing that's missing is HD. This game would be really beautiful in HD.
But some indoor levels, especially the dark ones,
look horrible, because you can't see a thing.
I've read a couple of reviews on the net, and none of them mentioned it.
However, it's a very serious flaw, and one of the things I blame the most.
There's a kind of graphic effect...
I'm not talking about the blur effect when you reload, which is horrible.
Each time you reload, and you reload a LOT,
every five seconds during the gunfights.
And when you reload, the only thing that's neat is your weapon.
The background is blurred, which makes your eyes bleed.
So, not only is the game in SD, which means that it looks horrible on a HD TV,
but the developers also made a blur effect! They got it all wrong.
But it's not the real problem: when you're in a dark environment,
there's a kind of grainy graphic effect.
It looks terrible, it's like an interference.
To be honest, I thought my TV had a problem.
You know, it's like twenty years ago,
when there were only cathodic TVs,
and if you wanted to use the indoor antenna to pick up the signal,
it either didn't work, or there were serious interferences.
Well, it's the same here: it looks like interferences.
And half of the levels are dark. Many levels are dark.
And in these levels, there's a terrible graphic effect.
It's not only too dark, it's also graphically horrible.
There are these interferences, and also some smoke effects,
which are 2D effects and look horrible too.
The rain is also horrible, which you see in the dam level,
and in the statue level, later in the game.
But it seriously pissed me off, because the game is beautiful!
The jungle and the mountain both look fantastic!
Even the archives, which are indoors, are beautiful!
It's the first level you saw in the video,
when Bond's in this kind of library with a cell.
It's really beautiful, with a good colorization,
and it's not dark, for once!
But plenty of levels look terrible, with that shitty graphic effect.
There's another technical aspect I need to mention:
there are framerate drops.
The framerate is basically pretty low,
which allowed the developers to make beautiful graphics.
But the framerate is okay, it's high enough to be comfortable.
However, when there's a lot of action,
there's something wrong.
But it's not the game that's badly optimized,
it's the Wii that's not powerful enough.
Let me explain: I had never heard such loud disk accesses.
It makes: "Dvuuut! Dv-v-v-vuuut!" all the time.
It makes noises like that all the time.
Like on the Dreamcast. When you play Shenmue:
"Dvuuu Dvuuuut! Dvu-vuuuuuut!"
It's like the console can't take it anymore.
It's as if the Wii hardware weren't powerful enough to run the game.
At least, that's how it feels.
For everything and anything.
Sometimes, you want to...
You want to attack a guard in hand to hand combat,
and it triggers a disk access.
It should normally be included in the main loading,
but it's loaded on the spot.
And it's like the Wii has to load a lot of things on the spot.
That's why there's framerate drops all the time.
That's why, whenever there's a lot of things on-screen,
there are serious framerate drops.
And that's why the time attack mode is horrendous.
Of course, you need to go fast,
and sprint all the time, and that's where you see the technical flaws.
That's where you see huge framerate drops.
Sometimes, the game freezes for a second!
I'm not kidding! And you hear the Wii next to you that goes:
"Dvuuu Dvuu Dvuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
It's like the Wii's going to take off!
That's it, it's not a problem with the game itself,
the Wii is just not powerful enough.
That's why, when I played this game,
I said to myself: "It's time for a new HD Wii ."
Now it is time.
It looks terrible when you play on a LCD screen that's made for HD.
So, when you play on a full-HD TV,
the graphic flaws are emphasized.
And it impairs Wii games, so we need a new HD Wii,
because it's no longer possible to play SD games.
I wanted to talk about it, these framerate drops are a serious flaw.
So, what's next? I'll check my memo...
I haven't talked about the multiplayer, but I'll do it later...
Yes, the game is repetitive. You have to know that.
The game is extremely repetitive. I told you so.
From the beginning to the end.
When you begin a level, you try the infiltration method, etc...
So, it's repetitive, but not boring, because there's a lot of checkpoints.
You'll never have to replay the whole level.
In a level that's 30 minutes long, there are five or six checkpoints.
You'll never respawn too far from the spot where you died.
That's why you get to know how the game works pretty quickly.
So you learn how to get past the enemies more easily,
how the A.I works and reacts etc...
And that's what I liked in this game.
Understanding the A.I, trying to be stealthy...
That's what I liked. And even though the game isn't very long,
it takes something like ten hours to beat it on Agent mode,
but on Classic 007, let me tell you,
it would take twenty, or thirty hours!
And I don't even take the time attack in account!
Let me tell you: the time attack in this game
is almost as hard as the time attack on N64.
It was extremely difficult. Every player remembers the "Facility" level.
In order to unlock the invincibility. It was crazy!
And I manged to do it, that's my biggest achievment as a player.
Managing to do it...
Try to do it, and see for yourself.
It's a true challenge.
It's not only about knowing the whole level by heart,
there's also a part of luck, because every second counts.
It's extremely hard, it takes hours of practice.
It's the same here. It's the same, with a bad framerate.
That's why it's frustrating, and the gameplay is also a bit stiff.
It feels like you're not agile at all.
You can't sprint for more than ten yards,
or sometimes the sprint doesn't work...
You have to insist, because it doesn't respond very well...
That kind of things is annoying!
This flaw impairs the very gameplay.
Another thing that I mentioned earlier:
there's barely any weapon at all!
There's no gadget in Solo, which is unacceptable.
Why isn't there the Watch Laser or something?
What a waste of source material!
That's why you never feel like you're James Bond.
You either use the pistol, or a machinegun.
There's no rocket launcher or stuff like this, nothing!
There are only glocks and automatics!
And sometimes, a shotgun, but nothing else,
there's barely any choice. I was so disappointed.
And that's why the game is so repetitive:
you fight the same enemies, with the same weapons.
The only thing that changes is the set.
You know, the jungle, the mountain, the train station...
The background changes, but what you do is the same.
It's the same with the secondary missions:
extremely repetitive.
The only thing you ever do is taking pictures with your smartphone.
You take pictures of stuff.
You have to know that on Recruit mode,
the only thing you have to do is finish the level.
There's no other objective, the system is like on the N64 game.
On Agent mode, there's one secondary mission.
On 007 mode, two secondary missions,
and on Classic 007, it's the same as the 007 mode,
but since it's "Classic", you have a lifebar.
And the time attack is the same.
It's really hard, because it's Classic 007 with a time limit.
You have a lifebar, you have to complete all the objectives,
all that with a time limit.
That would be an interesting challenge,
if only it had a stable framerate,
and if Bond were more agile, because the control is too stiff.
It's too stiff, and it's a serious flaw.
So, as regards the weapons, you can't hold weapons in both hands.
In GoldenEye 64, you could, and it was awesome.
And there were plenty of gadgets and unique weapons,
and special levels you could unlock.
We all remember the "Aztec" level which is a reference to Moonraker,
starring Roger Moore, this level was excellent.
Or Egyptian, with Baron Samedi,
excellent too!
It was Rareware at its finest.
And this excellence is absent from this GoldenEye 007.
There's no bonus stage either...
Let's talk about the music and have a laugh.
On jeuxvideo.com, they say that the music is excellent.
Wait, I'll check it out, because it seriously made me laugh.
Let's see... What do they say about the music...
Well, jeuxvideo.com, even if it's not a very good website,
is clearly the most browsed French videogame website.
Most of the players make their opinion by browsing JV.com.
I'll let you watch their "Gaming Live" to see how bad it is,
but hey, I don't feel like criticising this site right now.
Wait, it's loading... With my connection, it's laborious...
Wait, did it crash? Okay, it half crashed, so...
Wait, here we go! "GoldenEye 007 review"...
Soundtrack: "The music is grandiose,
and paces the game from the beginning to the end."
Ah... So, the music is grandiose?
Priceless, really!
Maybe the journalist who wrote this is a goldfish,
but he should re-listen to the GoldenEye 64 soundtrack.
The game is on cartridge support, it didn't have CD support,
with cheap MIDI. Well, he should listen
to the fantastic themes of GoldenEye 64.
I haven't played GoldenEye 64 for years,
but I know every theme by heart.
These themes were all original, and they were all really good.
They all matched the situation, and they had one more quality:
they had that "James Bond" feeling.
These themes sounded so "James Bond"!
And that's something that Eurocom and JV.com seem to forget.
Because the themes in this GoldenEye 007 are non-existent.
Well, not really, "non-existent" is not the right expression.
But these themes are generic. It's so plain it's sad.
You could listen to this in every other FPS in the world.
It doesn't sound "James Bond", it's not the 007 spirit.
Any other game offers music like that.
It's all anecdotal. It makes "Pom Pom Pom..."
And honestly, when you get the game beat,
you'll have forgotten all the themes of all the levels.
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that,
but I find that the themes are terribly plain.
And when I browse the most browsed French website,
and read that the music is "grandiose",
all I want to do is have a laugh.
The music in this game is generic, as I told you earlier.
On top of that, the voice acting is absolutely pathetic,
the actors are really terrible.
Sometimes, the enemies wear gas masks,
and they tried to create a sound effect,
but they sound like the enemies from Killzone!
When they say: "I have a visual!"
When was the last time you heard a Helghast in a James Bond film?
They got it all wrong at Eurocom's!
That kind of things depresses me.
There are also some QTEs. In order to kill the bosses...
Can I call them bosses? They're so ridiculous...
Whether you fight Alec, the final boss,
(I'm not going to sum up GoldenEye's plot, google it if you want to)
or Xenia, which looks terrible, by the way,
the fights are all QTEs. But it's so ludicrous!
There are three buttons: L, R, A.
And you either have to press L and R in a certain pattern, or A...
Even the QTEs in Shenmue were more interesting.
Seriously, it's lame.
But there's a good aspect: the level design.
That's why the replay value is high, in my opinion.
The level design is interesting.
They seriously did a fine job: in most levels, the level design is good.
That's why replaying the game on a higher difficulty level is interesting.
Maybe not on time attack, because it's really hardcore...
But on Classic 007, it's really interesting,
because it's a good challenge, trying to be stealthy,
trying to stay unseen as long as possible...
It's interesting, there's suspense...
That's what I liked the most: this infiltration aspect.
And the game is challenging. In the Direct Live,
I had the feeling that the game was easy on Agent mode,
but even on Agent mode, I died a lot of times,
more than 50 times, maybe even more than a hundred times.
And I was playing seriously, it wasn't suicidal tries.
And it's only the Agent difficulty level.
I died more than a hundred times on Agent mode!
Well, it was on my first run, I didn't know the levels and stuff,
but still, it's hard on Agent. Well, imagine how it is on Classic 007!
The game is challenging. The game is difficult.
It's not easy, far from it.
I thought it was easy, that I could play like a Terminator...
Not at all. The first level is...
Well, in the second level, it's like the enemies deal twice as much damage.
You need to be careful, being hit by a few bullets
is almost enough to kill you.
If another enemy comes by and fires at you, you're a dead man.
By the way, the A.I isn't very good,
but what gets annoying is that they're deadly accurate!
Sometimes, a guy is 200 yards away with a machinegun,
you can barely see him with your sniper rifle,
but as soon as he fires at you, you take damage.
Okay, legit! I hate that,
when soldiers are one mile away with a cheap 9mm
and manage to hit you every time.
The least you can say is that the A.I isn't great.
That's where you see that the A.I is too simplistic.
And it's not the only game in which the A.I is made like this.
Deadly accurate enemies that make the game harder
actually hide a poorly made A.I.
And that kind of things pisses me off.
It's really poorly made. You need to know it.
The A.I is... I wouldn't say it's mediocre,
but it's too simplistic. Anyway, I'm one of those
who think that the A.I in games like GoldenEye 64 or Half Life
is the best of its kind.
Remember in Half Life, when you first saw the marines commandos
who could communicate with walkie-talkies, hide and throw grenades,
it was unprecedented. Since then, a few things changed,
especially in games like F.E.A.R, but the A.I is globally the same.
My opinion is that the A.I in FPS games has barely evolved in ten years.
I think it's time for the developers to do something about it.
Why don't they try to create a totally unpredictable A.I?
Some of you may think it's impossible, but it's not.
All you have to do is create a few patterns for each soldier
that the A.I randomly chooses each time you replay the level.
For exemple, a guy who usually runs toward you when you get spotted
will choose to go away and hide somewhere else instead.
See? I don't know, it doesn't seem difficult to me.
It seems pretty simple to me.
All you have to do is create ten patterns for each soldier,
and each independant A.I will react, depending on the situation.
It will randomly choose a pattern on its list.
This way, the player would never be able to predict the A.I's reaction.
Will the soldier attack, hide, or run away to call for backup?
See? That's what needs to be done.
An A.I that the player cannot perdict!
But I've never seen such an A.I in any game whatsoever.
But it seems possible to me. Why wouldn't it be?
However, it doesn't exist yet.
The A.I is always predictable. The bots are always predictable.
You quickly learn how the A.I reacts.
But with a RNG system, it would be unpredictable.
That seems logical to me.
Nobody tried something like this yet,
and I have to admit I don't know why.
So, I wanted to talk about two specific levels,
two levels that are unique: the nightclub, and the tank chase,
which is a reference to the movie, when Bond drives a tank.
This scene was also present in the N64 game.
But first, let's talk about that nightclub.
I didn't expect this, and it was a pleasant surprise.
And it impressed me, but not at first.
Because when you first walk in there, in that nightclub in Barcelona,
you realise, if you look around you,
that there are only four different NPC skins.
They're all clones, they're all twin brothers in there!
I'll show it to you!
The girls are all the same, with a bun, and a dress.
The men are all bearded, it's the bearded men tribe.
That's where you see that they didn't give a single fuck.
Don't tell me there wasn't enough space on the DVD
to create different skins for each NPC!
Nobody can believe that. It's not credible!
And when you see what's on your computer screen,
it's depressing. Wait, they're fucking with us!
Some NPCs are close to each other, and they still have the exact same skin!
Anyway, that's not so terrible.
But what really pleased me is when you go a bit further.
You see the dance floor, and that's where it becomes impressive.
There's a very good music. And I think I'll let you listen to it now.
So, for the ones who wonder, the song is called "I remember",
and was composed by a Canadian whose nickname is Dead Mou5.
This man mainly composes electro.
You can listen to this on Youtube if you want to.
See? Sometimes you can find something good in this game!
This song is cool, the atmosphere is good too.
But what really impressed me is what you see on-screen.
It's really cool, you feel like you're in a nightclub.
Look at all the people on the dance floor!
We're only on the Wii!
Of course, if you get closer, you'll see that it's all an optical illusion.
That's the first thing I checked.
Of course, these people aren't 3D models.
The Wii wouldn't be able to show that amount of people at once.
Actually, they're only 2D sprites, they're pictures.
But it looks fantastic, it's staggering.
Even if the only colour is black, even if they're only sprites.
You especially see it when you look at their feet,
when you take a look at their legs while moving.
I did this a lot on the 32 bit consoles,
when I wanted to see if a character was 2D or 3D.
The trick is to look at the legs while moving around the guy.
And if the image doesn't change, that means it's 2D.
That's how you can see it in this nightclub.
But it's really well made, and that's something I like to see,
you know, that kind of graphic illusions they make
in order to simulate something awesome.
Here, it's really well made.
Of course, it's not quite as impressive as in Heavy Rain.
There was a sequence in a nightclub as well,
where all the characters are modelled, unique,
with unique clothes, and even their own choreography.
That's what makes this sequence incredible.
But there were fewer 3D NPCs in Heavy Rain, like 50.
Here, in GoldenEye, there are more than a hundred sprites.
To sum up, the atmosphere is really good.
So, what makes this sequence unique?
Well, as you can see, the first part of this level is not about shooting,
it's about using your smartphone to locate sergeant Garcia.
You have to scan the faces of everybody in the club
until you find the agent, who's actually a woman.
Then you go to... Well, the next part.
And of course, everybody goes apeshit in a second,
and it turns into a COD-like gunfight.
But I liked the first part, which is really well made.
And the second original sequence is the tank level.
I say it's "original", but it was already there
in the movie and the N64 game,
whereas the nightclub isn't in the movie or the N64 game.
This tank chase is taken right from the movie.
In the Nintendo 64 game, this level is barely decent.
Honestly, it's not what might be called "intense".
I wouldn't say it's bad, but it's barely decent.
This level on the N64 isn't good at all.
Here, it's far better. The control is more flexible,
you can use a machinegun, there's the cannon, of course,
there are also the homing head missiles.
You have to shoot down choppers all the way through,
there are explosions everywhere, a sequence on the highway,
you even go through buildings!
It's a total mess! It lasts five minutes,
and it's five minutes of pure demolition!
It's pretty cool, it makes you feel like replaying it.
It's not extraordinary, but it's well made.
Not very subtle, but very well made.
Let's say it's "okay plus".
I think I told you the essential.
I could've mentioned the level "Facility",
which has become legendary on the N64.
Here, it's the second level, it's also called "Facility",
and I didn't like it. Not one bit.
Even if the beginning of the stage is identical,
when you infiltrate the facility via the air ducts,
and beat the crap out of a soldier taking a crap.
It's one of the most famous moments of the movie and the '97 game.
One of the few things that remind the player that he plays GoldenEye.
But the rest of the game is so different from the James Bond universe
that I just couldn't imagine being James Bond.
That's why I found the game so plain.
Something's missing, it doesn't feel like GoldenEye.
I know I'm repeating myself, but it doesn't feel like GoldenEye,
it doesn't feel like you're James Bond.
That doesn't mean the game is bad,
but it doesn't feel like James Bond.
So, why didn't I like this level?
It's not because it's totally different from the N64 version,
except for the beginning.
It's because this level is very dark.
And like I said, the dark levels are bad because you can't see a thing.
There's a terrible graphic effect, these grainy parasite particles.
It looks bad. These levels look bad.
All the dark levels look bad.
And even the level design is mediocre.
The levels are usually well conceived,
but they screwed up the level "Facility".
Even though there was a good source material.
I didn't find this level very interesting.
I also wanted to talk about the cheat codes.
That was an essential element in the N64 game.
It allowed the player to enjoy a "Replay Value"
that was unprecedented in the FPS sector.
There was plenty of parameters you could change,
you could make Bond shrink,
make the heads inflate,
there were also the classics, like "invulnerability",
or "invisibility", which was excellent.
"Enemy Rocket" was one of my favorites.
All the enemies of all levels got a rocket launcher.
No more pistols or machineguns, only rocket launchers.
And it was incredibly fun.
Slaloming between the rockets, making the enemies kill each other...
And it was hard! It was awesome.
The "Enemy Rocket" mode was one of my favourites.
This code was ex-cell-ent.
It allowed the player to play the whole game in an all different way.
With all the enemies armed with rocket launchers.
It was excellent.
But now, a question needs to be answered:
How about the Wii game? Is there any cheat code?
Well, I think that nobody knows.
At the moment, the game was released two weeks ago.
And only three cheat codes have been discovered.
And these three codes can only be used in local multiplayer mode.
There's the "Donkey Kong" mode, and two other insignificant codes.
But no solo mode code has been found so far.
Is there any other code? Nobody knows.
Nobody knows anything.
I checked many message boards and forums,
but apparently, nobody knows.
Do you unlock them by finishing the tide attacks?
Wait, not "tide attacks", TIME attacks.
Do you unlock these codes by finishing the time attacks?
Maybe, but we should already know it.
The game was released two weeks ago,
and I searched on American message boards.
Nowadays, with the internet, there's a complete guide after two days.
Super hardcore Asian demigods already finished the game.
In 24 hours max, everything about any game is revealed.
That's why I don't think there are still undiscovered codes after two weeks.
But that's strange, since there's a "Bonus" menu
in which you can input codes.
So, will Eurocom or Activision give us special codes later?
That would mean these codes can't be unlocked.
But maybe nobody discovered the way to unlock them.
Maybe it's by finishing the time attacks, and nobody succeeded.
That would be unlikely: even if the time attacks are hard,
I can't believe that nobody did it in two weeks.
It can't be, it's unthinkable.
Sincerely, I don't know. Maybe, when I post this video,
other cheat codes will have been unlocked,
but so far, there are only three boring codes for the offline multi.
Nothing for the solo mode. It'd be cool to have "invulnerability",
and all the other stuff that made GoldenEye 64 awesome.
I hope there are other cheat codes, I wouldn't hesitate to replay the whole game!
Replaying the whole game on "Enemy Rocket" mode
would be awesome!
So, I don't know, I wonder.
We'll see in the coming weeks.
But since the game was released two weeks ago,
I have some serious doubts!
I think I told you the essential
about this new-gen GoldenEye (even if it's on the Wii).
The only thing left is the multiplayer mode.
I already told you what I think about the solo mode.
So, the multiplayer... Of course, it was an important feature
in the Rareware game. I think nobody would deny it.
And what's cool about this new version
is that they made an effort. First, you can either play offline or online.
Let's start with the offline mode.
It allows from two to four players to play on a split screen.
That's cool, there are many game modes, a dozen maps,
with environments from the game,
and some parameters you can change.
It's cool, but what's even cooler
is that at the beginning of each match,
you can choose a character.
There are all the enemies of the game, like the soldiers,
but what's interesting for the fans like me is...
Look: Rosa Klebb, Baron Samedi, Dr. No, Scaramanga, Blofeld,
Jaws, Odd Job, and that's all.
Sincerely, that's a pleasant surprise.
But there's a flaw: you can only choose these characters
when you play offline.
What a pity! On online mode, You can only play as a soldier,
that you can't even choose, it's random.
I would've liked to play as Jaws or Odd Job.
But I'll talk about these characters now:
Rosa Klebb, she's not very famous, only the connoisseurs know her.
She makes an appearance in "From Russia with love".
It's a sort of James Bond Girl, but she's not so sexy.
I don't know if the term "James Bond Girl" is appropriate.
Anyway, she's the movie villain.
She fights with her shoes... Well, with her shoes...
She surely doesn't hit James Bond with sandals!
Actually, she's got a poisoned shiv in her right shoe
that she uses in that lame fight with Bond.
Aaah, Baron Samedi! He was present in the N64 game,
in the level "Egyptian", and he's awesome!
He comes from "Live and let die".
The movie itself is okay, it's not a great movie,
a bit lame, with Mister Big.
The guy is a drug baron, and everybody calls him Mister Big!
Cracks me up every time! "Mister Big wanna talk to ya!"
I must say it cracks me up.
There's also the movie song!
When I think of "Live and let die",
I obviously think of the song!
[Sings like crazy]
To the youngest ones, my advice is to type this on Youtube!
You can find it easily, even with the French title.
Listen to this song, it's marvelous!
It's one of the best James Bond themes ever made.
This song is excellent.
There's Dr No, who needs no introduction,
he appears in the first Bond.
Scaramanga, from "The Man with the Golden Gun",
with his dwarf.
"Your Golden Gun, sir!"
Blofeld, very lame too, who appears in many Bond films,
and was played by several actors.
There's also Jaws. I'm a big fan of Jaws.
He makes an appearance in one of my favourite Bond movies:
"The Spy Who Loved Me", starring Roger Moore.
I can see the haters and the fanboys coming:
"Roger Moore is shit, the only one we want is Sean Connery,
all the others are pussies!"
I'm not one of them, I like Roger Moore,
because he brought something new and fresh to the character.
He was more humorous, less serious, more comical.
I'm not saying his Bond was better than Connery's,
because Connery is classy like James Bond should be.
He's classy like no one else.
But Roger Moore isn't a bad James Bond.
It's a different one, with more humor, I like it.
Anyway, The Spy Who Loved Me is an excellent Bond film.
I truly love it, I watched it like 50 times,
and that's Jaws's first appearance.
He also appears in Moonraker. But he's less good in this film.
The film itself is less good, but Jaws's love story, with the girl...
It's complete nonsense! You need to watch Moonraker
to see this love story!
I don't know what kind of drugs they were on,
but I want some!
You have to see it to believe it!
I love Jaws, and of course, he was present in the N64 game,
in "Aztec", where he chases you with two M-16s.
And you have to kill him.
He's like the new Terminator, it takes a million hits to kill him.
There's Odd Job, who needs no introduction either.
He appears in "Goldfinger", one of the best James Bond movies.
It's clearly the best James Bond starring Sean Connery.
And this villain uses a hat-cleaver
that cuts anything and everything to pieces.
And that's all. Besides them,
there are only the characters from the game.
They're not very interesting.
So, that's for the offline multiplayer.
But there's no cooperation.
You can't play the campaign with a friend.
The offline multi is only about deathmatch.
It's only: shoot, kill, die.
You can't play the campaign with someone else.
There are no bots either.
So, if you play alone, forget the offline multi, there's no bots.
If you play alone, the only way is to play online.
But there's a rub: playing GoldenEye 007 online...
What's the point?
All the game modes are very conventional.
To put it simply: this online mode has no identity.
Especially when you compare it to other FPSs.
Playing this GoldenEye online
is like playing a poorman's version of Call of Duty.
It's a mediocre COD-like because the gameplay is too simplistic.
I played it for two hours and...
So, there's a rank system: the more you level up,
the more you can purchase weapons,
and gadgets, because that's where the gadgets are available!
You can use mines in Online mode!
There are grenades too, which aren't there in Solo mode.
You can only use them online!
But in order to unlock some of them, you must play a lot
to reach a higher level, like thirty hours.
So, that's for the online mode: a generic online FPS.
It has no identity. It's so simplistic!
The control is stiff, and the framerate is too low!
No, no...
I'm not saying it's poorly made,
maybe it's fantastic for the Wii players.
If the only gaming system you have is a Wii,
that's perfect.
But if you have a 360, a PS3, or even better: a PC,
there are obviously online FPSs that are far more interesting
to play than this GoldenEye.
There's nothing that gets the player's attention.
I'd say my favorite mode is "GoldenEye".
It's a sort of Domination mode:
there are five key spots on the map,
which are actually command panels
that are used to control the satellite named "GoldenEye".
On the top right, there's a bar, and...
Well, there are two teams,
and the more your team controls command panels,
the closer the GoldenEye gets to the enemy team.
And when the satellite is just above the enemy team,
you win the game.
So, the goal is to possess as many panels as you can
in order to orientate the satellite toward the enemy team.
Well, it's fun, but it's not original.
There's also the Golden Gun mode:
there's the Golden Gun on the map,
and the one who gets it kills the enemies in one shot.
But there's only one bullet in the magazine at a time,
so you have to reload between each shot.
So, you need to be focused not to miss your shots.
And when you kill the possessor, you can pick the gun,
and become the Man with the Golden Gun.
So, these modes could've been more original.
It's not poorly made, but take a look at the competition,
and you'll see that half of the FPSs on 360, PS3 or PC
are better online games than this GoldenEye.
But if you only have a Wii, that can be a good deal.
Otherwise, it's not.
And there are also a bunch of other problems,
especially with the hosts. For example,
when the host leaves the game, the match automatically ends.
Whereas in most of the FPSs, another host is chosen,
it doesn't end the match.
And there are also the double K.Os.
That's the first time I see that in a FPS.
The double K.Os... Well, not "double K.Os",
it's not Street Fighter, but there are double deaths.
There are so many of them! Maybe it's because of the lag,
maybe I'm the only one who's annoyed by this,
but in a match that lasts about ten minutes,
I get three or four "double deaths".
When two guys start firing at each other,
if they start firing more or less at the same time,
it results in a double death 50% of the time.
Sometimes, one of them dies one second after the other,
but both of them die.
You can see it on the score board:
"Hooper killed X" "X killed Hooper"
Well, something's wrong!
It's not well calibrated, and it results in these bugs.
So, that's for the online.
I won't talk much about the offline mode,
because I didn't play it, but it seems to be fun.
There's a lot of modes, with the paintball and stuff,
it must be really cool, but as regards the online mode,
it's ten years behind competition.
Well, listen, I think that this time, we're done.
It's time to conclude!
So, even if I told you what I think about this game,
I'll tell you... Well, if I had to be objective,
if I had to review this GoldenEye with objectivity,
here's what I would say:
It's a decent game that could almost be good,
if we consider the fact that it's a Wii game.
It's almost good, some aspects are good,
because we're on the Wii.
But the players who have a PS3 or a 360...
They must be laughing out loud, because this game is...
I don't know, five or six years behind competition.
That's my objective opinion.
But from a more subjective, more personal point of view,
I'd say the game is only decent.
It's barely decent. It's not a bad FPS,
It's not a shitty game, but to me, it can't be called "good".
I really don't think so. It's barely decent.
So, did I have fun? Did I enjoy the game?
That's what matters the most.
No matter which game you play, what matters is the fun-factor.
Well, the game is fun, but don't expect anything else.
Really, don't.
At least, the game's challenging.
That's its big asset: the game difficulty.
That's the only source of fun.
Of course, there are other assets.
The sets are various, the game is rather beautiful,
even if it's far behind competition,
because of the framerate, and because of bad graphic filters.
The game is rather linear, I forgot to mention it.
That kind of games is always very linear, "corridoresque".
But here, not too much. Sometimes, you get to choose a path,
go here or there, left or right, take the stairs or not...
It doesn't feel linear, but it's not an open world either.
It's linear, but it didn't bother me.
As regards the storyline, it's THE void.
They wanted to "remake" the storyline,
to make it more modern, but it's a total disaster.
It doesn't feel credible, it's mostly lame and ridiculous.
It's the big flaw: the story, and the characters.
They're so ridiculous! It's so bad it's beyond "lame".
If it were lame, comical, it'd be okay.
But it's not fun, it's sad. See that QTE fight against Alec?
It looks like two grandpas having a fight!
It's depressing!
And how about Alec's outfit?
Can you believe he's wearing a pullover?
Anyway, there are still good things in this game.
The level design is good, it's well conceived,
and the infiltration aspect is interesting.
But aside from that, there are all the flaws...
I know I'm repeating myself, so I won't repeat the whole list.
Watch this video again, and you'll see all the flaws I mentioned!
And because of that, I can't say the game is good.
And I didn't compare the game with the N64 version so far.
If I had to, I would tell you the game is a total disaster.
That's what I'd say if I had to make a comparison.
But nowadays, a new trend emerged:
you can't compare oldies with new games any longer.
I don't know why, but there are always people to tell you:
"You can't compare these two, it's not the same thing!"
These people tell you that, but even they don't know why.
Tell me! Why can't I compare the game with Rareware's GoldenEye,
which is also a FPS that follows the original storyline?
Why can't I compare it with the Wii game
which is also a FPS that follows the original storyline?
Well, it's a "remake", but it's the same story.
I don't get it. Why would a comparison be impossible?
Can somebody tell me? Does somebody have a reason,
even the slightest evidence to prove it?
Why couldn't I compare these two games?
Despite the fact that they're distant from 13 years.
I want to know. I'd like to have an answer with good arguments.
Why can't I do that?
If it were two different game genres, okay...
But it's two FPSs with the same kind of levels!
Seriously, you CAN compare these two games.
And if I had to compare these two games,
even without taking the nostalgia aspect in account,
I would be forced to say that the '97 game
is better than this Wii game, even if it came out 13 years earlier.
Does it sound right? Is it acceptable?
Well, think about it! Answer this question.
But the answer seems obvious to me.
So, one last thing I want to say before I end this review:
some time ago, three years, if I remember well,
I made a compilation of scenes from the N64 game
and the movie, using a James Bond remix, by Moby.
I uploaded this video on Youtube,
and after a few months, Youtube had...
Well, not deleted it, they put it in "stand by".
Nobody could watch it, because there were copyrights.
Because of the music. So it remained blocked for three years.
But two months ago, the copyrights became irrelevant.
Now, you can listen to this song on Youtube.
And my video became available on the site as well.
Now, everybody can watch it.
I wanted to say it, because I'm rather proud of this video.
And since I'm making a video about GoldenEye,
it's the right time to say it. It's one of my earliest videos.
I think it's called "Hommage à GoldenEye",
or "Hommage à 007", I don't remember.
Anyway, I'll put a link in the video description.
This way, you'll be able to watch the video.
I was very proud of it at the time, it was my first one,
it took me a lot of time, I recorded all the cuts myself.
The film scenes, from my DVD, and the game scenes from the N64.
It's all homemade, I was proud of it.
Well, the video quality isn't great,
I had to change the image compression, and I wasn't good at it at the time.
So the image quality isn't great, but it's sincere.
So, I wanted to say it, so you know it's there.
I'll put a link in the video.
Voilà!
God, I can't take it anymore!
I hope you enjoyed the video,
I think I told you everything about this GoldenEye on the Wii.
To sum up, it's not a bad game,
if you have a Wii...
Well, play it, and form your own opinion.
But the flaws are as plain as the nose on your face.
And since I played the N64 version,
I can't ignore all these flaws.
That's the hardest thing to accept.
I tried, I swear it, but I couldn't help thinking:
"It should've been like on N64!"
And at times, I thought: "What were they thinking?"
Some things are incomprehensible.
That's why this game shares nothing with GoldenEye but the title.
Don't expect to play the remake of the emblematic Rareware game.
Otherwise you'll be sorely disappointed.
And dont expect to play a movie adaptation either.
Otherwise you'll be disappointed like never before.
If you expect anything from the GoldenEye franchise,
you'll be disappointed. So, just expect a FPS.
Very plain, with some stealth, some infiltration, some COD aspects,
and a multilplayer mode, online and offline.
Knowing that the game is rather beautiful,
especially when you're outdoors,
if you only expect that, you'll enjoy yourself.
Otherwise, you'll think the game is a huge pile of shit.
Let's stop there, I can't take it anymore.
Bye bye, and see you soon!