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  • How many times do you think did you been lied to today?

  • Go ahead and take a guess

  • because the answer might shock you.

  • Studies show that on the low end,

  • that number is somewhere around ten times.

  • And on the high end,

  • that number could be up to two hundred times

  • in just one day.

  • You are being lied to constantly

  • and what's worse, your lie detection capabilities

  • are definitely not 100%.

  • In fact, studies show that

  • they could be anywhere from 50% wrong to 75% wrong.

  • This video is meant to put the odds back in your favor

  • because there are things that you're probably not taught

  • that can help you become a human lie detector

  • or at least a better one.

  • And I want to cover those four things

  • plus touch on some examples of some masterful liars

  • getting caught in the act.

  • So let's start with first thing,

  • that one that everyone wants to know, which is -

  • what is the body language that indicates lying?

  • Now, unfortunately, there really isn't one thing

  • that is going to 100% of the time telling you someone's lying.

  • When you're looking to detect lying in terms of body language,

  • what you're looking for are tells of stress

  • with regards to particular subject or topic.

  • And what that means is that

  • reading stress in the body is actually much easier

  • than reading deception.

  • Stress comes through in a lot of different ways

  • and you can see it in pacifying behaviors.

  • So that might be rubbing of the arm.

  • If they're sitting, you can see people rub their leg.

  • You'll see people start to touch right here -

  • that's a pacifying behaviour.

  • And when a few people cue on their lip,

  • cross their arms, purse their lips,

  • (exhales) give you one of those - all of these things create

  • a lowered, like, trying-to-call-yourself-down response

  • and we do that in response to stress.

  • Now, there's one thing that is just classic

  • when people feel stress and it's called blocking -

  • that means putting anything between themselves

  • and the thing that is causing them stress.

  • So that classic line example of blocking would be this -

  • blocking the mouth, could be covering the eyes,

  • or could be an object, right?

  • And right at the time you're asking them if they're lying,

  • they got to whip their phone out.

  • Or they simply move something

  • in between you and them on the desk.

  • Blocking is very common and

  • I want to show you two videos of blocking.

  • The first one is a little boy

  • doing some physical blocking with the hands.

  • And the second one is a little girl

  • moving herself in between an object

  • to create some distance between her mom who is grilling her.

  • Who got the paint out?

  • Brother did?

  • Wait, let me see that again?

  • You didn't do that?

  • Speak up.

  • Uh, I didn't do this.

  • You still didn't do this?

  • I know you did.

  • I'm not lying.

  • Now, I mentioned earlier

  • that there isn't just one body language motion

  • that indicates a lie.

  • But actually, there is one that comes close

  • and it is the micro-expression of a smile

  • within a story that otherwise doesn't warrant a smile

  • and this is called "duping delight"

  • and what this is...

  • First off, a micro-expression is when

  • some sort of expression registers on someone's face

  • for less than a second and is quickly contained.

  • And the reason that this happens is that

  • the part of your brain that is responsible for emotions -

  • happy, sad, whatever it is -

  • that moves a fraction of a second faster

  • than the part of your brain that is responsible for lying.

  • So when you tell a lie, there's actually this visceral joy

  • in getting away and getting what you want

  • which registers for a second as a smile

  • but then the part of your brain telling a lie

  • kicks in and goes, "Don't do that,"

  • and quickly shuts it down.

  • So it looks something, I'll try my best, like this -

  • you finish the storyÖ

  • Öand then people often purse their lips.

  • So I want to show a quick example of that

  • and better than I can do which is, again,

  • another young girl master liar here whoÖ

  • the context of this is that

  • she wants attention from her mother

  • and for months and months and months,

  • she has pretended to have these crippling foot cramps

  • so that her mom will come rub her feet

  • and give her attention.

  • Pay attention to her face as soon as her mom

  • starts to touch her feet

  • and she gets what she wants.

  • Oh, Teddy, can you give it a rest, hon, please?

  • Let's play cards.

  • Can you rub my feet?

  • If you start to see some tells of stress

  • and maybe some duping delight on someone's face,

  • you're going to want to follow-up with them verbally

  • and ask very directly,

  • "Hey, did you do that thing that I asked you not to do?"

  • and in this case, you want to listen very carefully

  • to their verbal response because people don't like to lie.

  • And the third thing that will help you catch a liar

  • is that they often redirect direct questions

  • to some other topic or they half-answer them.

  • For instance, if I go up to someone and I say,

  • "Hey, did you take my money?"

  • they might respond by saying,

  • "Oh my god, I'm not that kind of a person" or

  • "how could you even ask that of me?"

  • and then pull out their phone

  • and immediately block, right?

  • These sorts of things are called redirects.

  • Do they immediately indicate guilt?

  • Absolutely not but what we find in liars

  • is that they try to tell as much of the truth as possible

  • until they are pushed to the brink.

  • Will they flat out lie?

  • Absolutely.

  • But sometimes, they'll even add qualifiers

  • on the end of their denials.

  • So I say, "Hey, did you take my money?" they'll go,

  • "No I didn't take your money out of your wallet,"

  • when really, they took money off of the kitchen table

  • or whatever it was.

  • So, I've got another video here.

  • The context is that there's this young boy

  • who has clearly made a mess and his dad asked,

  • "Did you? Who did this?"

  • and he answers a completely different question.

  • It seems exaggerated but the truth is

  • kids have the same strategies as adults.

  • We are just better at masking them

  • and telling more elaborate stories.

  • Stretching.

  • You know what happened?

  • I just stretched.

  • You were stretching?

  • Uh-huh.

  • How did this cabinet fall?

  • I can put it back up.

  • How did it fall?

  • I can put it back up.

  • How did it fall?

  • I can put it back up there.

  • I believe you but what happened?

  • So at this point, let's say that you've seen the tell,

  • maybe you've seen that duping delight.

  • When asked, they've said,

  • "How could you even ask that of me?"

  • Now you're kind of put in a pickle.

  • So when it comes down to it, you can always go with the,

  • "Listen, I'm having a hard time understanding what happened.

  • Can you tell me?"

  • And then the fourth thing that you're looking for

  • is to see if this person can recreate the events

  • of what actually happened out of sequential order.

  • Liars, whether their making it up on the spot

  • or they've rehearsed it,

  • often have done this before

  • and they've done it chronologically

  • so it can make sense chronologically.

  • But when you ask them,

  • "So wait a second, how is the money over here at the end"

  • and then "when did you walk in to the room?" and

  • "what happened later?"

  • When you take them out of order,

  • you can oftentimes trip them up.

  • So, of course, another little example of fun one here

  • which is really easy to bust

  • because he's a five-year old boy.

  • Here's a boy who took cookies

  • out of the cookie jar

  • and blamed it on the dog.

  • And watch as this story unravels

  • as different elements don't add up.

  • Did she get the cookies upstairs?

  • Um...

  • I don't know. I wasn't watching her.

  • How did she open the lid?

  • Unless they would really, see,

  • opened it with their teeth.

  • She opened the lid with her teeth ó

  • Yeah.

  • ó when she ate some cookies?

  • How did she put the lid back on?

  • She jumped on it.

  • She jumped on a bowl of cookies

  • to put the lid back on.

  • So there you have it.

  • That is how to spot a master liar of any age.

  • Now, obviously I had some fun

  • picking out the videos today.

  • They entertain me and I hope they entertain you as well.

  • But the truth is kids and adults lie in the same way.

  • So the same four things that I gave you today

  • will work across the age group.

  • First off, you're paying attention for any sort

  • of pacifying or blocking behaviour

  • with regards to a specific subject.

  • If it differs from their baseline

  • and all of a sudden they start blocking or pacifying,

  • pay more attention.

  • Second, duping delight -

  • that is the quick flash and then the containment

  • of a smile with a story that shouldn't have a smile on it.

  • Third, difficulty and outright denying

  • that they did something wrong.

  • Any sort of verbal jiu-jitsu,

  • that means you need to dig deeper.

  • And then of course, fourth, you're paying attention to see

  • if they can reconstruct their version of events

  • outside of chronological order.

  • If they think about it here, it's fine

  • but it needs to make a logical consistent sense.

  • So, I hope that you guys have enjoyed this video

  • and maybe we'll start detecting some of those two hundred lies

  • that you might be hearing every single day.

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  • go ahead and make sure to subscribe to the channel.

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  • your confidence and of course,

  • your ability to read social situations.

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  • I hope that you've enjoyed this video

  • and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

How many times do you think did you been lied to today?

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