Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.

寫作是我的專業，但當然，不僅如此

It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.

這也是我一輩子的最愛與迷戀

And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.

所以我也沒想過這會有所改變

But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently

但，說到這，最近有件相當奇特的事發生了

in my life and in my career,

在我的生命與事業生涯中

which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.

這讓我重新審查我與這份工作間的整個關係

And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,

而這特別的事就是我最近寫了這本書

this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"

這本回憶錄叫做"飲食，禱告，愛"

which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,

這本書很明顯地，跟我之前的書很不一樣

went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,

因著某些原因被出版

mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.

並成為相當轟動且國際知名的暢銷書

The result of which is that everywhere I go now,

這讓我現在不論到了哪

people treat me like I'm doomed.

人們都異樣地對待我，彷彿我已經完蛋了

Seriously -- doomed, doomed!

真的! 玩完了，沒救了！

Like they come up to me now all worried and they say,

像是，他們會往前走向我，並擔心地說著

"Aren't you afraid -- aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?

"你不怕嗎？你不擔心你再沒有辦法寫出超越這本書的作品了嗎？"

Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life

你不怕你終身都要一直寫作嗎？

and you're never again going to create a book

你不怕你再也無法創作出一本

that anybody in the world cares about at all,

讓全世界的人都在乎的書

ever again?"

從此不再

So that's reassuring, you know.

所以這一切都還蠻慶幸的，你也知道的

But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember

但情況也可能更糟，要不是我突然記起

that over 20 years ago, when I first started telling people -- when I was a teenager --

二十年前，當我還是個青少年時，我第一次開始告訴人們

that I wanted to be a writer,

我想要成為一個作家

I was met with this same kind of, sort of fear-based reaction.

我常碰到同樣帶著出自幾分恐懼的反應

And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?

然後人們會說，"難道你不怕你永遠都不會成功嗎？"

Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?

難道你不怕被人拒絕的恥辱會把你逼到絕路嗎？

Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft

難道你不怕終身都要做著這樣的工作

and nothing's ever going to come of it

卻一點成就都沒有嗎？

and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams

然後你就這樣困死在破碎的夢當中

with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"

言語中還充滿著失敗的苦楚

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Like that, you know.

諸如此類，你知道的

The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."

這答案，所有問題的答案，就是"是的"

Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.

是的，我是害怕著這所有的事情

And I always have been.

而且我一直這樣害怕著

And I'm afraid of many many more things besides

而同時也有更多的事令我感到害怕

that people can't even guess at.

這些是其他人不曾猜想到的

Like seaweed, and other things that are scary.

像是海草，還有其他可怕的東西

But, when it comes to writing

但，當講到寫作這一件事

the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately, is why?

我最近常想到，並且不斷思索的是"為什麼"

You know, is it rational?

你知道的，這合理嗎？

Is it logical that anybody should be expected

這合乎邏輯嗎？人們被預期著

to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.

應該要為他們覺得在這世上註定做的工作感到害怕

You know, and what is it specifically about creative ventures

你知道的，創意工作到底有著什麼樣具體的東西

that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health

似乎用著某種方式，讓我們變得如此緊張擔心於彼此的心靈健康

in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?

在別種行業不太會這樣，對嗎？

Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer

舉個例來說，像我父親，他是個化學工程師

and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering

而你知道嗎？在他四十年的化學工程生涯中，我不曾記得

anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?

任何人問過他是否他害怕成為一個化學工程師

It didn't -- that chemical engineering block John, how's it going?

並沒有。 化學工程妨礙了約翰嗎？，狀況如何了呢？

It just didn't come up like that, you know?

你知道的，事情並沒有變成這樣

But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group

但平心而論，化學工程總體來說

haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries

在過去的幾個世紀裡，並沒有因酗酒躁鬱症

for being alcoholic manic-depressives.

而享譽全世界

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,

我們作家，就有點這樣的聲譽

and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,

當然不只是作家，也包含了各領域的創作人才

it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.

似乎都有著情緒非常不穩定的惡名

And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count

你所需做的就是看看光在二十世紀，就有無數偉大的創作靈魂隕落

in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds

這是多令人悲痛的死亡

who died young and often at their own hands, you know?

這些藝術家通常早逝且總是死於自己的手上，你知道嗎？

And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide

而即使是那些沒有真的自殺的人

seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.

就像你所知的，似乎也因著他們的天賦而被困擾抑鬱著

Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said

諾曼˙梅勒，就在他死前的最後一場訪問，他說道

"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."

"每個在我書中出現的角色都扼殺了我一些

An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work, you know.

你知道的，這是對於你生命中的作品非常特殊的陳述

But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this

但當我們聽到有人這樣說時，我們甚至連眼睛都不會眨一下

because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long

因為長久以來我們都聽著這類的話語

and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively

且不知為何，我們完全將這觀念內化並全面接受

this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked

這觀念就是--我們的創造力和所遭受的痛苦息息相關

and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.

而其中藝術的本質，到頭來，都會導致心中的苦悶

And the question that I want to ask everybody here today

而今天我想問在場各位的問題是

is are you guys all cool with that idea?

你們全部都接受這樣的想法嗎？

Are you comfortable with that --

你覺得這樣妥當嗎？

because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know --

因為即使是從一吋遠的地方來看這件事

I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.

我對這樣的臆測仍無法完全認同

I think it's odious.

我覺得這是很可恨的

And I also think it's dangerous,

我也認為這是危險的

and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.

而且我並不想看到這樣的想法延伸到下一個世紀

I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.

我認為如果我們激勵我們偉大的創造心靈繼續活躍下去，那會更好

And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --

我當然知道，就我而言，在我的狀況來說

it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path

如果我開始走入剛提的那條黑暗的假設路途，那是相當危險的

of assumption, particularly given the circumstance

尤其是我現在處於這樣的處境中

that I'm in right now in my career.

處於現在的工作環境中

Which is -- you know, like check it out,

這有點像是，你懂的，你瞧

I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.

我相當年輕，我只有大概40歲

I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.

也許我還有大概另外四十年的工作年頭

And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward

而很有可能的是我從這一刻起寫的東西

is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after

將被世界論斷為我上一部

the freakish success of my last book, right?

曠世巨作後的作品

I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --

我應該直說，因為我們現在在此有點像是朋友

it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.

很有可能的是，我最偉大的作品已在我身後了

Oh, so Jesus, what a thought!

噢，天啊，這是多糟的一個想法

You know that's the kind of thought that could lead a person

你知道的，這是那種想法，會讓一個人

to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning

一早九點就開始喝著琴酒

and I don't want to go there.

而我並不想這樣

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.

我較喜歡繼續做我愛的工作

And so, the question becomes, how?

而這問題現在變成該怎麼辦呢？

And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,

似乎對我來說，在多次省思後

that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,

為了能繼續寫作，我現在必須採取的方式是

is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?

我必須創造出某種保護式的心理架構

I have to, sort of find some way to have a safe distance

從現在起，我必須，有點像是找出某個方式讓我在寫作時

between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety

在我內心憂慮與我本身間保持安全距離

about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.

而這憂慮無非來自他人對作品的反應

And, as I've been looking over the last year for models for how to do that

過去的幾年，為了如何做到，我一直在尋找可以仿效的模式

I've been sort of looking across time,

我依著歷史的時間軸去尋找

and I've been trying to find other societies

我也一直在找其他的社會模式

to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have

看看是否他們有更好且更合乎情理的想法

about how to help creative people, sort of manage

讓我們可以知道如何幫助有創作力的人們

the inherent emotional risks of creativity.

這有點像是管理創作力下天生的情緒風險

And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.

這研究引領我回到古希臘與古羅馬

So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.

所以請專心聽我說，因為我們還會繞回來講這個話題

But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --

但，當時古老的希臘與羅馬人

people did not happen to believe that creativity

並不是湊巧相信創造力

came from human beings back then, OK?

來自於人類

People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit

人們相信創造力是種跟隨著人的神聖靈魂

that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,

這來自於遙遠不可知的源頭，並存於人類

for distant and unknowable reasons.

因著遙遠且不可知的原因

The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity, daemons.

著名的希臘人稱這伴隨著人的創造力神聖靈魂為"守護神"

Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon

名聲顯赫的蘇格拉底相信他就有這樣的守護神

who spoke wisdom to him from afar.

會從遠方向他傾瀉智慧

The Romans had the same idea,

羅馬人也有相同的概念

but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.

但他們稱這種虛幻的創作靈為天才

Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think

這是很棒的，因為事實上羅馬人並不認為

that a genius was a particularly clever individual.

天才是一個聰慧的單獨個體

They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,

他們相信天才是一種不可思議並神聖的實體

who was believed to literally live in the walls

並相信這實體是真的住在藝術家工作室的牆壁中

of an artist's studio, kind of like Dobby the house elf,

有點像是家中的小精靈多比

and who would come out and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work

祂能不為人察覺地出現並幫助藝術家完成作品

and would shape the outcome of that work.

並修飾作品讓其成形

So brilliant -- there it is, right there that distance that I'm talking about --

這是如此地聰慧！就是這個，這就是我在講的距離

that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.

心靈層面的構造可以讓你與作品保持距離

And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?

而大家都知道這是如何運行的，對吧？

So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,

所以古代的藝術家就可以受到保護，不被某些事物影響

like, for example, too much narcissism, right?

像是，太多的自我陶醉，對吧？

If your work was brilliant you couldn't take all the credit for it,

如果你有著令人讚嘆的作品，你不能完全歸功於你本身

everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.

大家都知道你有著這非實體的天才幫著你

If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?

如果你工作不順，這也不完全是你的錯，明白嗎？

Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.

大家會知道你內的天才有點拙劣

And this is how people thought about creativity in the West for a really long time.

這就是西方人長久以來對創造力的看法

And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,

接著文藝復興來臨並改變了所有的事

and we had this big idea, and the big idea was

我們有了這偉大的想法，也就是

let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe

我們將人類個人放在宇宙的中心

above all gods and mysteries, and there's no more room

超越所有的神與一切的神祕事物，而且沒有留下多餘的空間

for mystical creatures who take dictation from the divine.

給轉述神聖話語的奧祕生物

And it's the beginning of rational humanism,

這就是理性人文主義的開端

and people started to believe that creativity

人們開始相信

came completely from the self of the individual.

創造力完完全全來自人類本身

And for the first time in history,

在歷史上，頭一次

you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius

你開始聽到人們稱這個或那個藝術家為天才

rather than having a genius.

而非身邊有著天才的靈

And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.

而我必須告訴你，我認為這是個極大的錯誤

You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person

你知道的，我認為任憑一個人，就只是一個人

to believe that he or she is like, the vessel

去相信他或她自己就像是個容器

you know, like the font and the essence and the source

負載著像是所有神聖、有著創造力的、不可知的、永恆的奧祕

of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery

這些事物的形狀、本質與源頭

is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.

這只是在人類脆弱的靈魂上放上太多的責任

It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.

這就像要一個人去吞下太陽

It just completely warps and distorts egos,

這只會完全扭曲挫敗一個人的自我

and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.

並製造出無法預期與掌握的成果

And I think the pressure of that

我想這帶來的壓力

has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.

已在過去的五百年中扼殺了我們身旁的藝術家

And, if this is true

而，如果這是真的

and I think it is true,

我想這也的確是真的

the question becomes, what now?

現在面臨到的問題是，怎麻辦？

Can we do this differently?

我們是否可以有不同的作為？

Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding

也許可以回溯到更古老的理解方式

about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.

去看待人們與創造奧祕間的關係

Maybe not.

也許不行

Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought

也許我們不能就這樣在十八分鐘的演講中

in one 18 minute speech.

就這樣抹煞了五百多年的理性人文主義

And there's probably people in this audience

也許在今天的觀眾中

who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions

會有人提出相當合法的科學懷疑

about the notion of, basically fairies

懷疑有關精靈的這種基本觀念

who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.

這些精靈跟著人們到處跑並在作品上撒下精靈水

I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.

或許，我並無法讓你們同意我的看法

But the question that I kind of want to pose is --

但我要提出的問題是

you know, why not?

你知道的，為何不這樣想？

Why not think about it this way?

為何不用這樣的方式作思考呢？

Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard

因為這就跟我聽過的其他事情一樣地有道理

in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness

尤其是在解釋這徹底瘋狂並變化無常的

of the creative process.

創作過程

A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --

在創作過程中，當一個人試著創作出些什麼時

which is to say basically, everyone here ---

基本上來說，在座的每個人

knows does not always behave rationally.

都知道創作者並不總是理性地創作著

And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.

而且，事實上，我們有時會覺得完全超乎常理

I had this encounter recently where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,

當我最近遇到傑出的美國詩人露絲·斯通時，就有這樣的感受

who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life

她現在約九十多歲，在其一生中，她一直扮演詩人的角色

and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,

她告訴我她成長於維吉利亞的鄉間

she would be out working in the fields,

她會在外面的田野工作著

and she said she would feel and hear a poem

在那時，她會感受到並聽到一首詩

coming at her from over the landscape.

從山水景色中來到她眼前

And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.

她說這就像是列車行駛下轟隆轟隆響的空氣

And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.

在山水之間向她傾洩而下

And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.

然後她會感受到這股力量，因為這股力量會晃動她腳下的大地

She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,

她很清楚在當下，她必須做的只有一件事

and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."

那就是，套句她的話，"死命地奔跑"

And she would run like hell to the house

然後她會瘋狂奔跑到房子裡

and she would be getting chased by this poem,

像是快被詩追趕上一般

and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil

這一切就是要她是以極快的速度拿出紙筆

fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it

快到讓她可以在當這一切靈感奔向她時，她可以匯集到一切

and grab it on the page.

並將其呈現在字句之間

And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,

當然有時她速度不夠快

so she'd be running and running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house

所以她會一直奔跑，卻怎樣也跑不回家裡

and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it

而這首詩不再傾洩而下，她錯過了這首詩

and she said it would continue on across the landscape,

她說這靈感會繼續在山水間尋找

looking, as she put it "for another poet."

如她說的"尋找另一個詩人"

And then there were these times --

然後也會有著這樣的時候

this is the piece I never forgot --

這是我不會忘記的片刻

she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?

她說她也會有幾乎錯過一首詩的時候

So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper

所以，她會跑向房子並找出紙來

and the poem passes through her,