by your emotions, it can be difficult to know the difference between true love and a passing

crush. Here are some landmarks to steer you straight. You will need Relationship and reflection.

Step 1. Look at recurrent patterns in the relationship. Is it characterized by drama,

conflict, and bouts of infidelity? Are you concerned about how the two of you appear

as a couple to others? Do you need your partner to measure up to standards that aren't their

own? If so, you've got a crush. Step 2. Pay attention to whether the relationship leaves

you with fears of being abandoned, or terrified by your vulnerabilities. If so, it's not the

real thing. Step 3. Be realistic. Do you overly idealize your lover, finding them to be almost

flawless? Do you have fantasies about spending the rest of your lives together even though

you've just met? Does being together give you a strong emotional kick? If so, you've

almost certainly got a crush. Step 4. Ask yourself whether the relationship is rooted

in sensuality, sex, taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell. If so, it's probably short-term.

That doesn't mean it can't turn into true love, though. Step 5. Know that long-term

relationships may begin with some or the same characteristics as short-term ones. But for

a crush to turn into true love, the emotional fireworks must transition into friendship,

and sexual attraction must become an adjunct to the total relationship, not the basis for

it. Plato argued that true love endures over space and time -- for example, when two people

are not together for a while. Step 6. Give thought to how committed you are to the relationship.

Does the relationship have a long history? Are you willing to forgive your partner's

faults? These are characteristics of true love. Step 7. Ask yourself whether you have

an abiding concern for the other person's well-being. Are you there when they need you?

Are they there when you need them? If so, it's love. Did you know In a _Cosmopolitan_

magazine survey, nearly two-thirds of women reported being worried about making a bad

choice and winding up divorced.