but we never found out what happened to those peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked.

That's not acceptable. We must know what happened!!

Ahem!!

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

The people of Pepperopolis were puzzled and proceeded to ponder the possibilities!

Perhaps Peter Piper packed the peck of pickled peppers, per proper packing practices?

Or perchance the peppers proved putrid and Peter decided the peck of pickled peppers were too pitiful for packing?

(sneakily) But probably, prior to packing, Peter Piper pinched the peck of pickled peppers by putting them in his pockets!

(evil chuckle)

Perplexed, the people petitioned the Pepper Police to puzzle it out.

I’m pleased to proclaim that the Pepper Police pledge to place this pepper perpetrator in prison

Providing the Pepper Police procure proper proof proving Peter Piper positively pinched the peck of pickled peppers,

punishment procedures will be proposed, pronounced, and performed publicly and proudly!

Presently the prosecution proposes Peter Piper purposefully stole the peck of pickled

peppers for purposes of pigging out.

Peter Piper pleaded and protested that his process was pure.

But Peter’s protests were put down and passed over by the prosecution.

Peter would be punished in prison.

Poor, poor, Peter.

But then, the perfume of pickled peppers permeated the proceedings.

The people were perplexed, and pondered.

What person has presently partaken of pickled peppers?

The prosecution was puzzled,

How could puffs of peppery perfume persist

when peppers haven’t been present in these proceedings?

Then Peter pointed at Percival the Pirate, popularly pegged as Pirate Purplebeard, and pronounced,

"I proclaim pepper piracy from that peppery perfumed person,

who partook of the peck of pickled peppers!

It was Pirate Purplebeard who stole the pickled peppers that I picked!"

(gasp!)

Percival the Pirate, provoked to passion, plunged past people, pursued by Pepper Police

and popped poor people with peppers in his path.

Peter too plunged forward, picked up a pike,

and poked it at Percivel, parting Pirate Purplebeard from his prized peck of pickled peppers!

The Pepper Police imprisoned Percival promptly!

Peter’s purity in proper pepper picking and packing is proved!

Yes, we promptly proclaim Peter Piper to be pure in pepper picking purpose.

And Pirate Purplebeard, professional pepper thief,

has publicly been proved to have procured the peppers improperly.

Pickled Peppers were protected,

and Peter’s participation in petty thievery was proved pure poppycock.

Peter Piper was presently promoted to Premier Picker of Pickled Peppers in Pepperopolis.

Ahem...

So children, the moral...

Pass up the pitfalls of being a Pirate and pick up your peppers properly.

Period.

The end.

Whewww!!