Oh...oh it's...been a while...time to wipe off the dust off those cobwebs. (Dusts off imaginary cob webs)

Its time...to get in...and get Stevie.

AS SOON as I click browse levels, there's a jacksepticeye right here.

It's like the fates have determined that it'd be so.

And it's with Billy, Bobby! guys...I love you guys so much...

...is there a secret end...? No...okay out over this

that's not well...technic... OW!!...technically...it's out over...but it doesn't count!

Speedy... speed- oh yes! We looked that fucking harpoon in the face said

"Not today buddy boy." BILLY your in pieces!

♫ Cut my life into pieces this is my last resort ♫

♫ Suffocation- ♫

NNNOOO!! Over the line...yes!! That was the hardest part.

(Jack distress laugh™)

Mr. Mouse get off the screen! Shoo! It's not your time- (It never is v.v)

YES!! AH...BILLY...I'm going to have to leave you alone again.

Sorry- sorry son, but daddy must carry on alone!

♫ Carry on my wayward soooooon! ♫

I sing that song too much. (No you don't)

"Hello player (hopefully Jack)-" 'tis I!

"I made this level for you. You inspire me to

play Happy Wheels. I love you <3."

SPEEEEEED IS KEEEEEEEEY!!

There we go you get a good voice crack in there as well. (laughs)

Fuck you Billy!

AH SAVE ME BILLY!

(laughs)

Speed...is...key!!

Atta' fuckin' boy, Bobby! (What happened to Billy?)

Your- your chin is in your arse, and your spleen is up your your face

but fuck it!

Flips! It's the only way

it's the only way to death town.

Keep flying keep soaring keep flying keep fucking up...

(adorable Irish laugh™)

♫ Go go Power Rangers ♫

(you okay there Jack?)

That was so much death!

Okay...let's get the flying going- there we go! I'll pass everything!

Yeeeees fucking nailed it!

Just like your mom! Nhnnn...not today.

...bye bike!

Billy, Bobby! I thought you guys had the secret to El Salvador.

Looks like you just have the secret to sucking dick.

How do you milk them? Do you milk them good and proper? Do you? Come on Bobby we

all know you have fucking dick sucking lips!

See what I mean?! Oh! But you're still alive. You're a little floppers.

Ooooh, suck on my tire treads!

♫ ALL THE WAY! ALL THE WAY!! ♫

...even when I sing the tune, it does not work...

Ahm, excuse me...am I called jackgivesupathappywheels?

No! It's jacksepticeye, bitch! I can do this! I have the potential and the energy

and if the fucking childs foot in my butter- my butter-hole...C'MON!

Nnnnngh!

Just fucking

goooooooooooo!

This is- (the game is breaking him)

Yeees! Fuuuckkk...

(Scary Irish Laugh™)

He just kept perfectly decapitated

Oh, oh hi bike! (Scary Irish Laugh™)

(the sounds of a man slowly descending into madness...๏_๏)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/

Do you feel okay there son? "I'm fine dad! I just have a harpoon for a head!"

Oh, that's my boy! Takes after her mom she was half harpoon as well.

Why is it taking me so long...to finish this fucking level?!

HA! I did it without sacrificing mah boy! ...well, sacrificed my fuckin' arms.

I think it's time to call it a day on my moment in the sunshine...

This one's called pass the barrier! Oh I'll pass the barrier!

" Rate five to unlock the mine"

Hey! How about you mind your own business and I do whatever I want to be, okay?

I'll pass the barrier, or I pass my fucking beer because I'm about to do this shit!

I passed your barrier....you didn't say pass the barrier and win.

Hyyyoooosh!

AHHH OH MY GOD!! HA!

Suck on every follicle of my buttcheeks! That's how you do it!

"Welcome to Spikefall PART ONE. Enjoy friends!"

I do enjoy friends! Friends are the best kind of company.

All the way down. See this? See this? feels good to be a winner...Ataboy' Steve!

Show dem' what do! Show them what for! Ataboy' Steve!

(Disappointed Jack™)

There it is! Ooohhh tasty garlic bread!

Yaah ha ha! I saw Pewdiepie in the middle of that. Was Jacksepticeye in the middle?!

Fuckin better been...Hey! Hey you! Yeah I'm looking at you! You!! Behind the camera not you guys.

You! Get down off that roof!

This is called O-Slither Bingo.

"Once the red ball is thrown the balls above will drop." Okay! Here are all the numbers

and...oh balls!

Literally! Oh yellow 16...No! It's eight... do I have to just get any of them?? Come on man!

I need this! I need this! I need this! Oh Jackaboy needs a new pair of dungarees.

Let's fucking go! Yes! All the way into numberrrrr.........10!

That's what I was gonna say! I was gonna say 10 anyway! Oh! You see this?!

See how I break? 23...do I have enough balls to actually do all this while the must? I can't-

Oh, there you go Steve! I can't exactly put any other balls in any other ones!

Hooshk! Oohhh go in! Go in you fucking...yooouuu....!

Go in to 13! Go in! Go! (Magically pushes ball with breath)

Yes! Okay now we need to drop some of

them over here...fucking...lovely! That's what I like to see! Go in! Go in!

Yes! I'm doing it! Oh! I'm doing it! I only have two left and as a whole bunch more....

What the fuck...? 9, 21, 18, 2, 5, 3 and 6

Well there's nine, hahaha! It's about them random.

It's all about them random- it's all about them random ball

throws bro! just fire balls everywhere and see what happens!

Yes! Throw! I LOVE BALLS!! Throw them! Throw the ball to the maker! Stop shooting them

back! If I fired my balls at you you're supposed to just take them and accept

them as a gift. Slitherlicious...?

How...?! Does that count as winning?! There's a whole bunch of numbers on those I didn't

clear the all! But if you want to give me a win, I'll take it because I need self-validation.

This one's called spaghetti maker. I just ate spaghetti

spaghetti and meatballs

literally. I really just did right before recording this so....

Ooo. Open. Ah...I get to make my own spaghetti! Could I just put Billy's in? Eghh god

that's a lot of fucking kids!

Okay we're just kicking up to one speed for now, like when you're making a smoothie

you don't blend it into pulp right at the start. You just gotta- you gotta get a

nice mix going on. Larry and Betty! Get on in there!

And Santa! Three for the price of two!!

That's what I like to see! I'm only gonna make a human one. Well, I'm thinkin' some

veggies so my mother's happy. HEY MA! I'M EATIN' MY GREENS!

She's happy she- she knows what's up.

Okay, two times speed. Here we go! Wait zero times speed. Let's stop it for now, stop it.

Let everything fall into place. there goes a little arm. Nice, my pumpkin and my

watermelloonn haven't gone in yet. Two times speed! Go!

Oh! Grind it up into mulch! I want to be able to sift this through my teeth!

That's fucking gross...now that that smoothie has been made and I drank it all up

Mmm tasty! Tastes like shit frame rates! Now it's time for the next stage as

Steve slowly, slowly descends into madness. I get to mess with play-doh! Pink...?

Gonna add pink.

Oh! That's the spaghetti! Ohhh...these are the meatballs! I forgot what I was makin'... (Spoopy laugh)

Done! That's all! That's a good healthy breakfast! If you want to have- meet all

your daily requirement of fiber, vegetables, bones, organs, anuses...

all you have to do is come on down to Jackaboy spaghetti maker! Made by

Picturesque[?] and they will make you the spaghetti of your dreams! If you want out

Alphabetty spaghetti they'll make it! If you want spaghetti made out of Betty's

they also make it...so let's go now.

"Steal the jewel." Are we talking about some old family jewels (Papyrus laugh)

Okay I'm not fucking rate a five to unlock your

bullshit way of winning the levels! I should be able to win it just on my own

without any of your cockatrani- cockatrani yo yo. Kiki Geiger counters...OH!! Like a fucking

Tom Cruise sexy Mission Impossible guy! Oh god, I thought he died. Heh. Ahaaha!

That fucking did it! Go go go go go...!

Ewe...Ewe...why I have to click into the level every fucking time?!

That's a bunch of bullshit game! Oohh! My sackalease! Fuck! I can't press anything I have

to click into the level every single time! That is annoying!

You know what else is annoying? How awesome I am...!

Hehe! Look it's a pinata for all of your birthday needs! I can do this! I had a

fucking great system going on there a little while ago. There we go! That's the

system that I need...System of a fucking Down

Yes! Duahaha! I fucking...I GIVE UP! If I had something to throw I would! I'd throw

the mouse but it just fucking come back to me! Aaaahaha!

Here, I'm throwing all my sorrow at chu!

This one's called Snake Attack and it gave me a great fucking tip! It's says tip...don't die!

Best tip ever! Great tip!

What am I supposed to be doing? Was that the snake attack? What the...?! Oh holy balls!

Okay, hold on there now, slither-slu, it's time to get over you!

He won't let me pass!!

Hey! I'm the one who knocks! There, fuckin did it.

Snake Attack...more like slithering on a belly, and then you fucking bounce over his head

we won't even be able to do anything! "Amazing Attraction"? Let's fucking do that.

Why not?

Ooooooh god!

OOHH. I feel safe now..heh. What goes up, must come down!!

That was lame! "Jetpack possible." It's not jetpack impossible,

it's jetpack possible! That's my middle name! "Jack possible eye"! Ahh! I said it was my middle

name, not my full name.

I'm not perfect! Okay? Pobody's nerfect!

Po Dameron was a character...in Star Wars!

(laughs at self) What?

"Bottlerun Hard". Please the only thing

that's gonna be hard is my penis after I figure out how easy this bottlerun is. Look!

(wtf Jack)

I already have a beat-

Aww! That was only a joke, it was only a fools-y!

Ha gotcha,

did you think I was serious?

You did, didn't ya? Ha. Fooled ya! Goofed ya! FU-

This one is for all the box of kittens at the orphanage!

Yes! Yes!! What did you do? You might as well be shoving glass bottles up your hole!

Keep er' steady. Keep er' lit! Keep er' lit like friday night! It's so not lit fam!

It's so not fleek! I'm the master bottle runn- I am the master of bot- WHY CAN'T I DO THIS?!

This my whole world has been a lie!

Everything- everything I've come to know and love- oooh...

Just jump into a fucking haybale will ya'?! I don't care anymore. Might've- STOP TOUCHING YOUR FRONT WHEELS!!!

The front wheels are no-no. Give me a unicycle character and fucking

pass everything perfectly. Flawless baby! Flawless baby!!

What is happening today?! I can't pass anything! I'm going to pass up the opportunity to play this level again.

Uh. Chris Tarrant? Yes! I would like to phone a friend tell them how miserable

my life is. This one is called Billy's rope swing! instructions how to play Billy. Press C.

back, press ctrl...YAAAY!

Wait...so is Billy just a name that's going around now the people are

calling this character? Cause his real name is Timmy and I start calling Billy or is

this supposed to be a level for...me..? I have no idea who cares let's go!

Okay press ctrl yes go little Billy! Just like Daddy! Just like Daddy taught you.

Tuck & Roll you remember how we learn to Tuck & Roll? Remember how we.... We.... how we

learned our rope through the abdomen?

Yeah that was the day your mom left us. Awwh. That was a good day though! We got ice

cream right? You used to love me right, Billy? You're not saying much....

I mean he never was a very talkative kid anyway but a fucking yes or no would be nice!

When all this time all these years trying to get to know your son

I mean he doesn't talk back it's a little hard to get to know 'im, but

through his body movements I thought I was getting to know him pretty well.

I mean...what one Yelp for yes, two yelps for no. Decapitation for no thanks I'm not

hungry anymore it was working pretty well we had a good fuckin system going on.

Here you go little Billy. Oh he got his own car! Ohh Imma proud dad!

Nice! Ah! He drove it all the way! Down to oblivion to kill himself just like daddy!

Ah-hah!

This level called "Crush your Enemies" put head in vice, squeeze until blood come out

of ears and orifice, then suddenly drink blood of enemy, get very buff and then

you say "bring me another!"