well, first of all, it's great to be with you

and thank you, everybody

this is it--your last chance to make an impression

so…let's make it count

okay

we know we've got lots of work to do

let's do this in Bb minor

AHHHHHH

<boombox placement with great stamina>

<beat intensifies>

such a nasty woman

he choked

wrong

he choked

wrong

he goes around with crocodile tears

wrong

such a nasty woman

<AHHHH concludes>

we have so many adversaries overseas

can we all agree to be frenemies?

I would work with our allies in the Middle East

that's the only way we're going to keep the peace (okay)

Mosul, Mosul, Mosul

so sad, so sad

it's a catastrophe

so bad, so bad

can everyone achieve the American Dream

or should they sign up for my Ponzi Scheme?

we are gonna go where the money is (alright)

we are gonna help small businesses

our jobs are being sucked out of our economy

right now, our country is dying

dying big league

why should you run the show?

we've gotta do more

tell us 'cause we need to know

we need to get the drug lords

two more weeks until we vote

you get shot walkin to the store

who should really run the show

Donald got into a twitter war

for the Supreme Court, who would you choose?

please don't say me--I'm a busy duuude

the Supreme Court, that's what it's all about

the second amendment is under such, such trauma

I understand and respect gun ownership

I hope the Senate confirms the nominee

of President Obama

to stop a cold war, what should we be doin?

would you go thumbwrestle Vladimir Putin?

I don't know Putin--this is not my best friend

he's outsmarted Hillary and she's playing Chicken

look at a startup they signed

you are willing to spout the Putin line

these cyber attacks from the Kremlin

are designed to influence our election

Putin has a very clear favorite in this race

he'd rather have a puppet as President of the United States

why should you run the show? (PREEKOTOS CHEETOS OMNIPITOS)

we have horrible deals

tell us, 'cause we need to know (SCHMEEGORÓS TRUMPTOS EECLINTONPROS)

Donald bought Chinese steel

two more weeks until we vote

I should win easily

who should really run the show?

he's talkin down our democracy

it's so dishonest

I say it's rigged

she should never have been allowed to run based on what she did (I see)

our democracy works--we have free and fair elections

Donald thinks things are rigged every time they are not going in his direction

we have some bad, bad hombres here

and we're gonna get em out

it's what it's all about

bad hombres

why should you run the show?

I wanna raise the minimum wage

tell us, 'cause we need to know

our country is so outplayed

two more weeks until we vote

we invest from the ground up

who should really run the show

our jobs are being sucked, sucked

<stance of power>

wow--that was great, guys!

fantastic melodies

thanks a lot for doin a great job

I'm very proud of that

IS IT WINDY IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?

<blue steel>

JUST ME?

THIS IS--THIS IS MY WIND?

JUST--JUST FOR ME?

cool!

Schmoyoho, accent on the yó

debates are better as musicals

check out Weird Al

and here are all the debates songs

and a bunch of bonus stuff on our new Patreon

whoever sings best gets four years to run the show

BALANCE BUDGETS (the show)

SHAVE PEOPLE'S HEADS (the show)

FIGHT WARS (run the show)

CHILL WITH CELEBS (the show)

KISS CHILDREN