(sweet ukulele music)

[Thomas]: Anything you can do I can do better,

[T]: Vine can do anything better than You... Tube.

[J]: No it can't. [T]: Yes it can.

[J]: If you think Vine is great, YouTube is greater. [T]: Well...

[J]: Don't be a hater, I'm greater than you.

[T]: No you're not. [J]: Yes I am.

[J]: Vine is just a gimmick. [T]: Only for a cynic.

[T]: I can do impressions. [J]: I can help depression. [T]: Ugh.

[J]: Education vids made me a grad and YouTube's free. [T]: Uhh, wait for the ad.

[T]: Anywhere you can reach I can reach further. I can reach double as far as you can.

[J]: No you can't. [T]: Yes I can.

(Sign: Jon 3 million subs. Thomas: 7,000,000)

[J]: Yes he can. [T]: Yes I can.

[J]: Vine stars are bratty, go back to mom and daddy. [T]: You should put disclaimers on the YouTube gamers.

[J]: I hear you only last 6 seconds long, do girls complain?

[T]: It's enough for your mom. [Both]: Ooh.

[T]: Anything you do, I can loop better. [J]: Everything I do, is better than loops.

[T]: No it's not. [J]: Yes it is.

[T]: No it's not. No it's not. No it's not. No it's not. No it's not. (punch sound) [J]: Yes it is.

[J]: Viners are obnoxious, even when unconscious.

[J]: YouTube's for talent. [T]: It's for Vevo and Fallon.

[T]: You're just another Disney schmuck, parodies aren't art.

[J]: Story Time: You suck.

[J]: Anything Vine can do, YouTube does sweeter. I can sing anything sweeter than you.

[T]: No, you can't.

[J]: Yes, I can.

[T]: No, you can't. [J]: Yes, I can.

[T]: No, you can't. [J]: Yes, I can.

[T]: No, you can' t can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't. [J]: Yes, I can can can can can can can. You shut up!

[T]: No. I can't.

(background music sounds) [J]: Anything Vine can do, YouTube does better.

[J]: Ooh. [T]: Anything YouTube does, Vine can do best.

[J]: No, no, no, no! [T]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

(acapella & beatbox arrangement in the background)

[J]: No, no. [T]: Yeah, yeah!

(acapella & beatbox arrangement in the background)

[J]: No, no! Uhhh. [T]: Yeah, yeah! Uhhh.

(background music stops)

[J]: Anything Vine can do YouTube does better. [T]: I can do anything better...

[J]: (higher note) Better. [T]: (even higher note) Better.

[Both]: Than you!

[J]: No you can't. [T]: Yes I can.

(they laugh)

Paint. P - A - I - N - T.

Subscribe!

(repeats small part in the background) [J]: Anything Vine can do, YouTube does better.

[J]: Ooh. [T]: Anything YouTube does, Vine can do best.

[J]: No, no, no, no! [T]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!