Will It Pickle?

Let's talk about that.

♪(intro music)♪

Good Mythical Morning!

As you know, on this show, we are in the habit of finding out if things will.

Mm-hm.

And the thing we are going to be finding out if things will today is: pickling!

- And all you need to pickle something is time. - Well, that's not exactly true.

You also need boiling water and white vinegar and spices--

- Okay, also that stuff. - And then the thing you're gonna pickle.

But we had all that stuff, too, and we put all that stuff in jars, sealed them up,

- and waited upwards of a month-- - Upwards!

For some of these things to pickle.

And dare I say, there are many things that we are going to experience today

that have never been pickled, and may never be pickled again

when we ask the age-old question

(both) Will it pickle?

Okay, we wanted to kick things off with something shaped like a pickle

But it's not a pickle

- (Rhett) Bananas. - (Both) Will it pickle?

- Here it is. What? - It looks like pickles.

That is appetizing. It looks like an eel specimen.

- (laughs) Yes. - You know, like you go in the back

- of a museum, where the're-- - I always go in the back of museums.

- Uh-oh. - Sizzle, sizzle.

- Oh, gosh. - (crew laughs)

- I don't-- - It smells like bananas and pickle juice together.

- I don't like bananas, uh-- - I like bananas and I love pickles.

But I'm hopeful that this will turn me on to bananas.

- They're a little limp. - (crew laughs)

- Oh, goodness. That is a juicy naner. Wow. - That looks like some sort of sea creature.

- I know, man. - You know?

- In the back of a museum. - Do you have a fork over there?

I does, and I'm gonna eat off of your plate.

Okay, you want full half, huh? I was thinking it was more like that size.

Okay, yep, alright. We should name it before we eat it, or after?

- A bickle. - B'nickle.

-B'nickle. - (laughs)

- I feel like this could be something. - I'm hopeful.

- This could be something. - Dink it.

(crew laughs)

- It's very jelly. - (whispers) It's not that bad.

- The spices are really strong. - Yeah, because the banana is so absorbent--

- Mh-hm. - that it just took all the pickle stuff in

in a really intense way. I want more.

It's like eating a really mushy, if not rancid, pickle. How is that a good thing?

Like, people like pickles because they're crispy. They're crunchy.

They (imitates crunching noise)

Yeah, but maybe it's time for something new, Link. Maybe they've been sending

pickles in a crispy direction, and we need to go in a limp direction.

(crew laughs)

- Alright. (sucking in air) - Hey, but the banana-ness of it

is very appealing, it really is! It tastes like a delicacy, like--

It's refreshing.

It's like you visit some island, and they're like, "This is our specialty."

And you're like, "Oh, pickled banana?"

- Pickled banana? - I'm glad I'm on vacation!

Will it pickle?

(both) Yes!

There is one food on the planet that is a welcome addition to any meal,

but is it a welcome addition to a pickle jar?

- (Link) Bacon. - (both) Will it pickle?

- Mm. - Another museum specimen.

- I think they're all gonna feel that way. - Yeah. Now, again, I have high hopes

for this one. Bacon--

- Oh gosh. The fat has settled at the top. - Ooh!

- There's a fat layer. - Ooh, it's stinky.

Ooh. No, hold on, that's not necessarily stinky.

- Is that stink or is that goodness? - Smell. I think that's goodness.

- Smells like a smoky pickle. - It's a good stink.

Mmm! That's a good stink!

(funny voice) Yeah, man, I like a good stink! (normal voice) Alright, throw that,

throw that bacon pickle on here.

I think you just, you embrace the pig part of this and just call it a pig-ckle.

- (laughs) Pig-- - Pig-ckle

- Pig-ckle. - Pig-ckle.

- Alright. - The fat is just a little much to handle.

It looks like a sulphur deposit.

(fork clinking against jar) Very scientific.

Throw it, and mow it. Pig-ckle.

(Rhett) Yeah, by hand. We should eat this by hand.

Tried to smell it, but I touched it with my nose.

This is gonna be good.

This is more bacon-y than the banana was banana-y.

(chewing sounds)

There's no doubt, right off the bat. It's like sour bacon.

- (crew laughs) - Sour bacon.

And if that sounds good to you, then we're in agreement.

I mean, this one's a no-brainer. They pickle pig's feet already.

Why can't we pickle pig's belly?

- We can. - We did.

- (Link) Will it pickle? - (both) Yes.

Alright, now that we've had some salty, why not have some sweet?

And chocolatey, and bar-y?

- (Rhett) Snickers! - (both) Will it pickle?

- Oh gosh-- - Where's the Snickers?

- Looks like an iced mocha. - It does! (laughs)

(imitates Link laughing) It does! (laughs) You're so right!

(laughs) Was that an over-reaction?

No, I want you to react to everything I say like that. (laughs)

I like when you react to my ideas like that.

- Ew! - It's probably not gonna taste like iced mocha.

- It's sludge! - It's sludge!

- What is that black ball in it? - That's a Snicker ball!

- Snicker's don't got a black ball! - There's two black balls in there!

That's one of the s-pickle spices. Alright, let's smell it.

- (laughs) Spickle spices? - (laughs)

(Heavy Southern accent) That's one of the spickle spices. (Normal voice) Oh, it's a clove.

- Woah. - Hm.

We're gonna have to drink this.

- This is a spoonie. - I don't know how we're gonna--

This is a spoonie.

- Oh my goodness. - Don't get one of those black balls though.

- That'll overpower you. - I'm going low and I'm coming up slow.

Look at this. It has just disintegrated everything. Look, it's just, it perfectly

- separates all the parts of the Snickers. - It's Snicker parts.

I mean, look at that! It's just perfectly separated Snickeredness.

- Pickled Snicker parts! - Pickled Snickers.

- Pickled Snicker's parts-- - Snickles.

Otherwise known as Snickles. (laughs)

Snickles! We could sell these at the fair, and we could call ourselves St. Snickolas.

(both laugh)

St. Snickolas! Where are we selling them?

- Christmas fair. - Christmas fair.

(sings) Jolly old St.--

- (sings) Snicker parts. - (sings) Snickolas.

- (normal voice) Jolly old St. Snicker parts. - (normal voice) Dink it.

- I don't dislike it. - I do.

- Really? - Yeah, man!

(crew laughs) But St. Snickolas was such a good thing!

- I'm sorry, Rhett. - Pickled Snickle parts--

I was there, I was committed in my mind. But there is a part of me that thinks,

maybe the Snickers would be good without the pickle.

Pickled peanuts on their own could have been okay, but we blew that.

- Peanuts by themselves are good. - Pickled peanuts is good?

- The chocolate is what's bad. - Pickled peanuts pickle.

But chocolate parts of Snicker parts don't pickle.

- (Link) Will it pickle? - (both) No.

Now this next dish is already the perfect combination of two food items,

but can we enhance it by pickling?

- (Rhett) Chicken and waffles. - (both) Will it pickle?

- Mm-hmm. Chicken and waffles. Oh, yes! - So we got chicken and waffles.

And we have to combine them in our mouths because they've been pickled separately.

Which one's the chicken and which one's the waffle, Link? (laughs)

It is hard to tell at this point, but this is the waffle, this is the chicken.

- You gotta put the chicken-- - But the chicken--

- on top of the waffles. - goes on top of the waffles.

- Right, so open the waffles. - Alright.

- Oh gosh. - (crew laughs)

It's absorbed all the pickle.

- I might have to rake it out. - It's like oatmeal now. Waffle meal.

It's like grits. It just smells like pickle.

Too much pickle starts to simmer in the belly. Is your belly simmering?

Ew! Plop the leg--

- Woah, hey, now hold on. Hold on sucker. - Pickled leg.

Now that is a restaurant item, right there. Pickled chicken and waffles.

- Chickle... - and wickle.

(high-pitched voice) Chickle and wickle! (normal voice) Chickle and wickle.

But still though. (laughs) (crew laugh)

- Um-- - Get some of that chicken skin.

So, I'm gathering up a perfect forkful of waffle. A forkful of waffle helps the

fried chicken go down.

- Mm-kay. Chickle and wickle. - You be Chickle, I'll be Wickle?

We'll both be both. Here we go.

It's the waffle that's causing me all types of trouble. Chicken's getting lost

- in the mix, he wants some more attention. - It just tastes like it could be anything.

You could name any item on Earth that's in my mouth right now, and I could not

- disagree with you. - (laughs) Right. 'Cuz it's--it's amorphous.

It's like the universe is in my mouth right now; a representative sample

- of the universe. - Ugh, okay, I got it down. Not--it's not

- horrible. - It's not bad. Chicken's not bad.

You know what? I'm gonna say officially, fried chicken will pickle.

But that's not what we're asking. We're asking for the total package of chicken

- and waffles-- - So chickle works?

- Wickle won't. - Wickle won't.

Mm-hm. So, overall, as a package, will it pickle?

(both) No.

Well, we've eaten bull testicles on this show before, so we figure, why stop there?

That's right. Bull penis.

- (Link) Bull penis. - (both) Will it pickle?

I don't really desire to look over at that jar right now.

(groans) I see something curled up right there.

(groans) Oh, it's just another banana. Dang, that's like a--it's like a nautilus.

There's a nautilus swimmin' in there. A naughty-lus. (laughs)

(crew laughs)

- Work with me. - We should naught eat it.

(both laugh) But we're about to.

Okay, um. Now, I'm told that the official title for the item in this jar is a pizzle.

- That's the official name-- - Official name of a bull penis.

- Is a pizzle. - A pizzle.

- Grab a plate, there, and hand it to me. - Now, there are black balls in here as well.

Those are not bull testicles, because they're way too small and I've eaten

- bull testicles before. - Throw a pizzle on here.

- (sighs) Oh gosh. - Is it firm?

- It's got some structure to it. - Ooh.

This guy needs to see a doctor. Why is it like that?

When you put it in the pickle jar, was it like that, or did it curl up as--

- (Chase) As it boiled. - Oh, as it boiled it curled.

- (Chase) Yep. - Good to know.

- Now I know what not to do. - (laughs) Don't boil it!

Don't get into a hot tub over 104 degrees for too long.

Plate it, man. Man. Oh, gosh.

It's so firm. (crew laughs)

(dull noise) (crew laughs)

There's nothing phallic about it, though at this point.

Man. So, cut me off a slice of that pizzle.

(crew laughs)

- Oh my goo--Oh! You know what I feel like-- - It's like sawing through birch.

It goes against nature for a man to saw a penis.

(crew laughs) Yeah.

You know, it's just like, this is not something that should happen.

- There's a little cross-section for you. - You can tell how old it is.

(crew laughs)

- Mmm. - (laughs)

Alright. Um, oh my goodness. I can't sink my fork into it!

Well don't worry, you're teeth will do just fine.

Is that skin, or a layer of something?

- Don't--don't ask questions about it. - What do we call it?

- Pickle--pizckle? - Pi--pizckle--pizzlekickle.

- Dill penis. (both laugh)

- Bullzickle. A bullsickle. Bulls-- - A bullsickle!

- Alright. Oh, gosh. - Alright, let's just do it, man.

Let's grow a pair and eat a penis. (all laugh)

Alright. (laughs)

- Get it--get it lined up with me. - Chomp in three--

- Okay. - two, one.