Alex and Alayna.

Here's Alex, all wide-eyed,

probably because the Bears actually won a game. (Laughter)

And, then, here is Alayna,

in her little pink outfit.

Now, the outfits help, because sometimes it's hard to determine which one is which

because they look so similar.

But this is where our gender communication to children begins.

Now, imagine for a moment, recall a time when you,

or maybe someone you know,

told a young boy to stop crying or to suck it up;

or encouraged a young girl to play with barbies,

instead of a toy truck.

>From the beginning, we set a either or path

for our children - one or another,

when it comes to clothes, toys or actions.

It either is or isn't okay to cry;

either you play with hot wheels or you play with barbies.

We use gender as a way to construct our children's reality.

Now, the work of a communication scholar James Carey,

tells us that communication is a symbolic process

whereby realities are produced, maintained repaired, and transformed.

Now, I'm not here to say

that the communication we are having

with our children is invaluable,

nor am I even here to paint the world yellow.

What I am here to do is encourage a breakaway from that gender dichotomy.

By communicating, what we believe is appropriate:

language, clothes, attire, actions to our children,

we're getting a symbolic message

as to what it means to be a man and a woman.

Our communication produces it.

Our reinforcement of that communication maintains it.

And yet, by changing the way we speak and act, we can transform it.

Communicating macho manhood to young boys,

and communicating submissiveness to young girls just won't cut it.

We, by communicating that, are really sending strong signs

to our young boys and young girls

as to what it means to be a man and a woman.

Now, let's face it: we tell children

what they should do and what they should be,

but not so much what they can do,

or what they can be.

We use gender as something we must fit into

masculinity for men and femininity for females,

when, really, gender is so fluid,

with so many different possibilities and combinations,

that anybody can fit into it.

Now, I do want to show you a picture of Alayna today.

And, as you can imagine, the pictures I showed you earlier

were two pictures of the same little girl,

but it's amazing how much we rely on our minds

and communicating gender to tell us a little bit about difference.

Now, I'm here to tell you that we really need to think about

the way we communicate gender to our children.

we have the responsibility to think about

the ways we talk about gender

and to make sure we're communicating it

in a liberative, positive ways,

so that we can have a society that doesn't see gender

and a society that communicates gender

in more positive tones for a more diverse, just world.

Thank you.

(Applause)