(cheers and applause)

（歡呼鼓掌）

Good for you for getting it started, sir.

感謝你先承認了，這位先生

Because so many people were scared to say it,

因為太多人害怕承認自己有在玩

and then you encouraged them,

你鼓舞了他們

and then they, "Oh yeah, then me too."

然後他們就會說「喔我也有在玩」

How about Cupid? OKCupid?

那 Cupid 呢？約會網站 OKCupid?

Alright, Match.com?

很好，那 Match.com？

Hinge? Hinge, Bumble?

Hinge？Hinge 跟 Bumble 有人在玩嗎？

Coffee meets bagel?

Coffee meets bagel 約會網站？

Grindr?

男同志交友軟體 Grindr？

Alright, well, there are a lot of ways to meet people online these days.

很好，這個嘛，現在要透過網路交友有太多方式

I've never used any of them, but for all of you young people out there,

我一個都沒用過，但是各位年輕人們

you won't believe this,

你們或許不會相信

but in the past,

但在過去

to start a relationship,

要談一段感情

you had to talk to someone in person.

你必須得和人有面對面的互動

For a while.

而且要持續好一陣子

And you'd have something called a "conversation."

你們會有一段叫做「聊天對話」的過程

And when someone rejected you,

而當有人拒絕你時

they would reject you in person.

他會親口跟你說

You could actually see their expression.

你可以看得到他的表情

You would know what that means.

你會懂他想表達什麼

Kids, you call it an emoji,

孩子啊，你們把這叫做表情符號

we call it a face.

我們卻叫做臉部表情啊

(cheers and applause)

（歡呼鼓掌）

But since it's so much easier to date online,

但由於網路交友越來越普及

I think people have gotten lazier and lazier,

人們也變得越來越沒創意

and pick-up lines have gotten worse and worse.

而搭訕人的台詞變得有夠糟糕

And I know this from all the research I've done,

我會知道這些是因為我有做研究

and by research, I mean I found an Instagram account called Tinder Nightmares.

做研究的意思是我發現了一個叫做「Tinder 惡夢」的 Instagram 帳號

And since Tinder is a place where you can find true love,

既然 Tinder 是一個你可以找到真愛的地方

sometimes twice in one night,

有時候一個晚上還能找到兩個真愛

- Yeah!

水啦！

This section over here is crazy.

坐在這一側的人都瘋了

Alright, I want to help you people out,

好，我想要幫幫你們大家

so I thought we could take a look at some Tinder pick-up lines that didn't go well and learn from their mistakes.

所以我想我們能夠透過參考這些 Tinder 上失敗的搭訕台詞來避免犯同樣的錯誤

So this one is from Kevin, and his first text is at 3:30 in the morning.

這個是 Kevin 的訊息，他的第一則訊息是在上午 3:30 送出的

"Hey what's up"

「嘿在做啥呢」

And then,

然後

"Hey what's up"

「嘿在做啥呢」

And then,

然後

"Hey what's up"

「嘿在做啥呢」

Alright.

嗯，很好

Then at 3:46, he texted,

然後在 3:46 時，他又傳了訊息來

"Hey what's up"

「嘿在做啥呢」

He's persistent, that Kevin.

這位 Kevin 還蠻堅持不懈的

This next one is from Luke, and,

下一則是 Luke 的訊息

"Yogurt. Cereal. Soup. Sidney from Tinder. These are all things I want to spoon."

「優格、麥片、湯、Tinder 上的 Sidney。這些都是我想吃的東西。」

And then,

然後

"My name's Sarah. Did you copy and paste that from a conversation you had with a girl named Sidney and forget to change the name?"

「我叫 Sarah。你是不是複製貼上你跟一個叫 Sidney 的女生的訊息，然後你忘記把名字改掉了？」

"Well, this is awkward."

「呃，尷尬了。」

Alright, here's a line no one would ever say in person.

非常好，接下來這個絕對沒人敢親口說

"I heard you like whales...so do you want to go humpback at my place?"

「我聽說你喜歡鯨魚...那你要不要來我這打砲？」（註：humpback whale 為座頭鯨，humpback 指打砲從後面來）

Come on, America, we can do better.

拜託，美國，我們一定有更好的梗

This next one starts off sweet,

下一則一開始還蠻可愛的

It's, "Gosh u are beautiful! But I'm not looking for anything. Just trying to make friends."

「天啊你好正！但是我並沒有什麼目的，我只是想來交個朋友。」

"Well thanks! And that's okay! I'm not looking for anything either, just wanna meet new people and if it goes somewhere cool. If not I have a new friend."

「謝啦！沒關係！我也沒有要幹麻，只是想認識新朋友看有沒有機會深入認識，如果沒有的話至少我交到了朋友。」

And then, "Sex?"

然後他回：「打砲嗎？」

And then sex?

下一句竟然回「打砲？」！

Alright, we have time for one more, right?

好，我們還有時間來看最後一個，對吧？

Mary? Andy? One more?

Mary？Andy？再看一則訊息？

Alright, this is,

好，下一則是

"Do you work at Subway?"

「你在 Subway 工作嗎？」

And then, "This better not be a footlong joke."

然後女生回：「拜託不要是 12 英吋的梗」

"Crap."

「被發現了。」

It was.

是吧

It was a footlong joke.

就是那 12 英吋的爛梗（註：Subway 的 footlong 12 英吋潛艇堡，美式笑話衍生指男性生殖器長度十分可觀）

To see another 12 million examples of what not to do on Tinder,

想要看看其他 1200 萬不要再 Tinder 上亂傳的訊息例子

check out Tinder Nightmares or you could join Tinder.

你可以上 Tinder Nightmares 或直接加入 Tinder 玩玩看

And now, here's a pick-up line that seems to work all the time.

現在，是搭訕人最有用的方式

It's, "Let's dance."

就是「讓我們來跳舞吧」