GOOD DAY.

LOOK, MR. PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA, WE'RE NOT GOING TO

TAKE YOUR STUPID REFUGEES.

I WON HUGE.

BIG LEAGUE.

MY INAUGURATION CROWD WAS THE BIGGEST IN THE HISTORY OF THE

WORLD.

I TALKED TO ALL THE BEST, MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE, AND YOU'RE BY

FAR THE WORST.

>> LOOK -- NO, YOU LOOK, YOUR COUNTRY IS

FULL OF JUMPING RATS AND YOUR TOILETS GO THE WRONG WAY.

GARBAGE.

ACDC IS OVERRATED, THAT'S NOT A NIGHT.

THIS IS A NIGHT.

>> I'M SORRY.

THIS IS AN OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE.

>> OH, WELL THEN I'LL TAKE THE BLOOMIN' ONION.

>> IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.