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  • Hello everybody! This is Jack from

  • tofluency.com, and we are back with

  • another conversation that is going to

  • help you learn real English. Now, today

  • we're going to talk about Valentine´s Day

  • and romance.

  • Yeah! Valentine's Day and romance because

  • we are filming this February. Now, be sure

  • to check out the description because

  • I'll leave a list of the different phrases

  • and vocabulary that we use in this

  • lesson, and we're going to try to speak

  • at more or less our normal speed and

  • this will give you great listening

  • practice. So, Valentine's Day can you tell

  • everyone what Valentine's Day is?

  • Valentine's Day is February 14 of every year.

  • It's a holiday which is supposed to

  • celebrate romantic love, so the love

  • between two partners, and it's a

  • holiday where there's sometimes a lot of

  • pressure to do things in a certain way

  • but it can also be quite fun, and as

  • we were talking about it, we realized that

  • we had a lot of memories of Valentine's Day from

  • growing up what it was like to

  • celebrate this holiday, which is really a

  • romantic holiday in school - when you're child.

  • Yeah, and we had some good memories and some

  • bad memories. I think we're only going to

  • share the good memories, and one of

  • the big things is, on Valentine's Day, one of the main

  • that people do is to send and

  • receive cards, so let's talk about that -

  • how you did that school in America.

  • Yes! Absolutely, and so basically the

  • whole Valentine's Day celebration was

  • everybody would buy or make cards for

  • everybody in their class, and usually

  • attach a little piece of candy, so...

  • Oh, candy as well... it came with candy.

  • Of course! Usually, the most popular ones were

  • Hershey Kisses and Conversation Hearts.

  • So both of these are types of chocolate?

  • No! Well, Hersheys

  • Hershes is, you know what a Conversation Heart is?

  • Oh, we call that something else.

  • Is it one of those little round candy,

  • like, sweet things with some kind of

  • message on it... YES! What did we call call these?

  • I'll leave this in the description. It's gonna...

  • I can't remember but, yeah, we used to have

  • these as well... Absolutely, and they would

  • say a little message like: 'Fax me'

  • which really dates... Fax me? Send me a fax!

  • Now it would be 'send me a Snap'.

  • Yeah, it's probably like email me or

  • Instagram me. I don't know if it would fit in a

  • little tiny candy... I'm sure they would fit in.

  • So, you would attach those to

  • the card and send them to one person, two

  • people, ten? The rule was really

  • everybody in the class. Really? we didn't

  • have that rule. Well, that was when we were

  • younger.

  • And then, as you get older, and it's

  • less typical to give people Valentine's

  • unless you are in a romantic

  • relationship with them. Or you like someone, right?

  • Yeah, or you like them.

  • I don't remember sending Valentine's Day

  • cards to everyone in the class, but I do

  • remember you would send a card to one

  • person, basically, and you would put from

  • your secret admirer.

  • Really? Yeah! So the idea is that you

  • don't tell people who the card is from.

  • Right! A lot of times, though, they would

  • guess who it is, based on your

  • handwriting,

  • I remember... because what

  • you'd do is you'd give the card to a friend to

  • give it to them or you'd put in their locker,

  • you'd put on their desk so they that they

  • don't know who it is, but you could

  • always write your name, some people did

  • write their name too.

  • So Jack... be honest, how many secret admirer

  • Valentine's Cards did you send? I used to

  • send one... one every year.

  • One every year? I think so...

  • Sometimes, I was in, you know,

  • "relationship" when I was 12 or 13, so

  • I would send a card to that person

  • obviously. But other than that it was, yes,

  • sometimes I didn't send them.

  • Sometimes you didn't But most years you did? I think most years I did.

  • And how often did you sign

  • your name and how often were you a

  • secret admirer?

  • I can't remember. I remember receiving cards from

  • secret admirers... plural, but

  • I don't remember sending cards,

  • sending, you know, "from your secret admirer"

  • Ever? Never?

  • I can't really remember doing it. So, you only gave one

  • special girl a card every year?

  • I think so. And you signed your name?

  • Yeah! Because I was in a relationship

  • Do you think that there was a, because I

  • remember, especially once you got a

  • little bit older, there there was a lot of

  • pressure to be in a relationship for

  • Valentine's Day. We didn't have that.

  • I'm pretty sure we didn't have that.

  • And it was nothing additional. I don't

  • remember going on, like a date, around

  • Valentine's Day or making a big deal (our of it)

  • Maybe we had presents too... I just can't

  • remember, but, yeah, I know in America

  • though, dating is big, and this is

  • something that we didn't really

  • understand growing up, watching American

  • TV, and it's what we learned from watching

  • things like Friends and Dawson's Creek

  • that dating is big. What is a typical thing

  • that people do for a date on Valentine's Day?

  • Well, it depends, ovbviously, on whether

  • you're 12 or you're in your forties and

  • anywhere in between.

  • Let's talk about...

  • Let's talk about, you know, adults....

  • Adults? Okay, probably going to a nice

  • restaurant. That's typical... So, what you would

  • consider to be kind of a fancy meal,

  • where you dress up... we have

  • our baby here, by the way, you may hear her.

  • She's very excited about us having

  • this conversation.

  • She's trying to join in. Sorry, to a restaurant...

  • Hi Emma!

  • You go to a restaurant - probably the most

  • stereotypical romantic cuisines are French

  • cuisine. French, yeah. Maybe

  • Italian, and you would have a fancy

  • meal with your loved one. Right! And I imagine

  • things are... it's very difficult to get

  • into restaurants on Valentine's Day...

  • Absolutely! I think you have plan in advance.

  • Yeah! Book in advance, planning in

  • advance, and you know, take initiative and

  • say: "Okay, we're going to go to this

  • restaurant. We're gonna book it in early

  • January. We're going to go on Valentine's Day...

  • I think it's different once

  • you get married, but I know during the

  • dating stage

  • there's a lot of pressure on the

  • male in the relationship, if it's a

  • male-female relationship to book the

  • restaurant and get the flowers.

  • Yeah, it's a lot of pressure.

  • A lot of pressure, but yet feel like it's generally not the men

  • who care as much about Valentine's Day.

  • Typically not... Yeah...

  • But they... Yeah, I feel like they've got the

  • pressure to do it and the woman expects

  • something. Generally, you know now... traditionally

  • Jewelry, chocolates, perfume.

  • I wouldn't get perfume.

  • Yeah, it's a little personal but I mean

  • I think that people do get it.

  • I think chocolate is always safe for me

  • in case you're

  • wondering. I always love chocolate

  • and of course, jewelry... By the way, I'm just

  • kidding, there is no presure on Jack.

  • No pressure at all. I don't feel any pressure. I've got

  • a question, though, about dating and

  • relationships. If you say you're

  • dating someone, are you in a relationship?

  • That's a good question. I feel like there's...

  • you're dating someone in general, you're

  • in a relationship when you have that

  • conversation where you say that you want

  • to be exclusive... So

  • you won't date other people.

  • Ok so when you... you can go on a first

  • date with somebody...

  • And then if you go on a second and third

  • day, that's when you would start having a

  • conversation about: Ok are we in a

  • relationship?

  • Yes! and I know like with us, we were...

  • I.. we can't explain it.

  • We were traveling around the

  • world, but we did have that

  • conversation (We did), and after that, we

  • were in a relationship.

  • We were in a long-distance relationship because we weren't in the

  • same place, so we actually started in a

  • long-distance relationship and I feel we

  • you know spend time together in the same city,

  • It's kind of interesting... But we met each other in person

  • Which is not always the case now.

  • Well that's it because things have changed.

  • In the past, let's go back 20

  • years, you would have to approach

  • somebody and ask them the question

  • directly,

  • either, meeting someone at a bar, meeting someone through a friend, at a

  • party, but now obviously online dating

  • is a big thing. I think online dating

  • is the way people meet their their husbands

  • and wives now.

  • Definitely... It's a huge change. It really is.

  • It's just, erm, changed the way that people

  • date and start relationships. Have you

  • ever online dated? I have online dated.

  • When it wasn't very popular or

  • common, I think it was in 2005,

  • 2005-2006. I used to... well, I put my profile up there and

  • you know contacted

  • people, went on a few dates, you know. It was fun.

  • What information about your

  • profile? So, if I had been looking on

  • your online profile, what would I see? You would

  • see a very young version of me with

  • information about the music that I like.

  • I was really into music back then.

  • I think I talked about that...

  • What bands did you put on your profile?

  • Bob Dylan, New Young, Artic Monkeys... they're they three that I always remember...

  • And then, erm, I

  • think it there was like different questions that

  • you could ask and answer. And I can't, really, sorry,

  • I can't remember what I had on that to be honest.

  • "You can't remember:" I... I choose not to remember

  • Choose not to remember... But based on your

  • music profile, I think I would have

  • wanted to go on a date with you.

  • Well, I think music is one of the

  • big things that people ask about first, you know,

  • What kind of music do you like?

  • But, yeah, online dating.. it was fun, it worked, you know,

  • it was okay. I met some people but obviously

  • I didn't get into any relationships from it.

  • And then I went travelling and, then, I met Kate

  • so, yeah. I want to talk

  • about a date nights because a lot of

  • people are thinking about having a date

  • night for Valentine's Day and what some are

  • typical date nights in America? We're

  • back

  • with Emma! Kate, you were just saying

  • Date night! Date night, and what kind of things that

  • people do when they go on a date.

  • Let's just talk about someone who is in

  • a relationship or someone who is

  • married... What kind of things do

  • people like to do? I think that probably

  • some of the most popular things to do

  • are to go see entertainment, whether that's a

  • movie in the cinema or a live band...

  • Right! So, to go to a live show, to go to

  • the cinema, the theatre, maybe...

  • Or to go out for a meal

  • Yeah, they're the two main things really.

  • Or bowling? That's an old style date...

  • That's an old style date

  • Which is, it was very popular, I guess in the eighties,

  • Is that right, seventies, eighties...

  • To go bowling

  • I think about Greece. Is it Greece One

  • that they go bowling?

  • I'm trying to remember - one of the Greases

  • they do go bowling.

  • Yeah, anyway, that's what i have in

  • my head when I'm thinking about, you know, going

  • bowling. So is that your ideal date?

  • Bowling? No. What is your

  • ideal date? My ideal date, I think it would be - what I

  • really liked about Spain was when you

  • could just go to a few bars and get a

  • little something to eat and a little

  • tiny bit of wine and go somewhere else

  • and you experience different

  • atmospheres and it feels like you're

  • going on an adventure instead of going

  • to one place and just sitting down for a

  • big meal, I like to be out and about and

  • to go to small bars, to stand up, to go

  • outside, you know, because then it feels like

  • you've got some movement there, and you

  • can talk about different things, you know.

  • That's what I enjoy doing.

  • We have talked about doing that here

  • Yes! But we have just never got around to it

  • Not for a long time...

  • Well since we've had children, really,

  • to go bar-hopping as it's called or you know,

  • restaurant hopping. Yes, it's really fun

  • to do that, I fell.

  • What about yourself?

  • What my ideal date is?

  • I think (WITH ME!)... Obviously,

  • First of all, you are the main ingredient in my ideal

  • date. I think so. Yes, you are.

  • It would be... Probably to go somewhere outside

  • if we're considering this as a long date so maybe

  • to go on a hike or something like that

  • and then to just get a really casual meal

  • and maybe see some live music

  • Yeah, live music I think that's fun.

  • To go to a concert

  • So, you've got that sense of going to a couple of

  • places and movement too.

  • I just feel like if you're sitting

  • down at the same restaurant for 2 or 3 hours

  • it can get a little bit boring and, you

  • know, it's good to have like different

  • experiences and move around a lot

  • or just delicious

  • I like going to restaurants too but I think

  • that when we think about, you know, what's the

  • the perfect date,

  • that's more you want to do

  • something a little bit more exciting.

  • Sometimes, we are restricted for time so

  • we have to, you know, "okay, we've got an hour and a half -

  • go to the restaurant" you know, order quickly

  • absolutely, especially, with an infant

  • Yeah - I thought I could end with some

  • love idioms that we can share, we can

  • have a quick conversation about each one.

  • I've got three. The first one is soulmate.

  • Do you believe in soul mates?

  • I would say that I didn't

  • believe in soulmates but then I know

  • this is going to sound so cheesy but you

  • kind of made me believe in soulmates

  • because we just connected so immediately

  • and it was such a coincidence that we

  • even met. We were from different

  • continents. We weren't even supposed

  • to be in the same place at the same time

  • and we were and we met and we've made a life out of that.

  • That's a great answer. Do you

  • believe in soulmates? Not really I know

  • I'm sorry I haven't really

  • thought too much about it and you know

  • and really got into depth with it but

  • I'm, I feel it's more like: there a certain

  • amount of people that you're compatible

  • with ok and if you meet that person then

  • you have to take advantage of it,

  • you know, and make it work. Do you believe

  • in the phrase: "Opposites attract"? Yes, I think

  • I do

  • Do you think we were opposites? In some

  • ways, I mean, yeah there's a big

  • difference... Different countries and,

  • there are some things.

  • And the idea of a soulmate

  • is that one person only one person.

  • Actually when just after I met you

  • and you didn't meet this guy - a guy called Paul

  • who stayed at the same hostel as us.

  • He was a mathematician and he takled

  • about - he worked out that there's I think

  • it was 1 in 100,000 women who would be

  • suitable for him.

  • Wow! And that he would have to

  • meet so many people and go to

  • specific places to increase the odds of

  • meeting one of those people. He got married

  • recently. Was he the kind of person

  • that would have a lot of

  • I don't know, requirements to be.... he was very

  • picky? Well, yes, from what I remember.

  • yeah really nice guy, though. I've got another one.

  • To have a crush on someone -

  • Can you explain what that means? To have a

  • crush on someone. That's a good one.

  • To have a crush on someone is to like them romantically

  • yeah but a lot of times it's a

  • secret crush. And it's before you really

  • get into it, you can't say I have a crush

  • on getting my wife or my husband. It's

  • like when you're not in a relationship

  • with someone and you know... You like them

  • so we always used to say: like someone

  • like but when you say it in a certain way like ...

  • You like someone. And you can also say: Do you

  • like like that person? Yes we used to

  • say that too! Do you like like them

  • or just like them? So, to like

  • like someone means you have a

  • crush on someone. I really like that, and

  • then the final one. To go on a

  • blind date.

  • Oh, yeah. What can you explain what that means?

  • So a blind date is when you meet

  • someone to go on a date and you have

  • never seen them before in your life.

  • So, it's somebody that a friend of a

  • friend has set you up with or maybe

  • you met them online and you don't know

  • kind of what they look like you've never

  • met them in person and

  • so that's a blind date. I've never

  • ever been on a blind date. I have never been on a blind date.

  • Good, I feel like a good

  • question to ask everyone is, the soul

  • mate question... Do you want to ask it?

  • I want you to ask the questions in

  • these videos. I know, I like asking you questions,

  • I feel like you have to answer me too when

  • the camera's on. Okay! So, do you believe in

  • soulmates? That there is just one person

  • out there who is meant to be for you?

  • It is a great question and

  • feel free to expand on your answer and

  • let us know if you have any questions

  • about the words and phrases we used here.

  • We've got a lot of things here, you know

  • to send cards, to get cards, secret

  • admirers, to go on a date, date night -

  • didn't talk about needing a babysitter...

  • Soulmates, have a

  • crush on someone and to go on a blind.

  • And once again I'll leave the vocabulary in

  • the description so you can read this and

  • learn the words and phrases that we both

  • used in this conversation. So, thank you

  • very much for watching and we'll see you

  • in the next lesson.

  • Thank you! Happy Valentine's Day!

  • Happy Valentine's Day! Bye Bye!

Hello everybody! This is Jack from

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