- (FBE) Today, you're playing this.

- What? Soccer?

- FIFA 17. Oh god, I suck at sports games.

- (gasping) Yes! Oh my god, yes.

Dude, I love FIFA.

- I played FIFA 15 and 16. I'm not that great.

If I play it, I'll be extremely rusty.

- Soccer is a sport-- or football, for all you people watching overseas.

I watch the World Cup sometimes,

but it's down here on the sports I watch.

- A lot of people at my school are obsessed with FIFA.

Americans are just like, like, hell yeah!

Soccer! Let's-- let's play it as a video game.

I'm too lazy to outside and actually kick a ball.

- For some reason, we have never really gotten

that international football/soccer bug,

and the whole world seems to be in on it

and we're kind of on the sidelines with our baseball.

- (FBE) We're really gonna test your skills today

because this is a React Gaming tournament.

- Oh god, this is just-- (sighing) God, this is a dream come true.

- I'm gonna destroy them, obviously.

- My confidence is already pretty low, so it couldn't get much lower.

- I'm not very confident, but I'm gonna give it my all.

♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ (explosion)

- I think I want to pick something that's about as hard to pronounce

as my last name is.

Excellent.

- I just like the, uh, the logo there.

- Let's do a prison uniform. (laughing)

Are there penalties in this? - (FBE) Yes.

Oh drat! (laughing) - Oh, there are?

- (announcer) And it's the start of the game here.

- Wait, where did-- crap, I can't even see the ball.

- Pass it to that guy.

No, no, that's not on my team!

That's not on my team! - Do something.

- No, no, no! - I don't know what I'm doing.

- This is gonna be so legitimate soccer that--

- I was like, what am I do-- oh, crap.

- There's gonna be a 0-0 score, probably.

Oh, that was me!

- Oh, you were just standing there like a fool.

(laughing)

- As I am wont to do.

- Virgil, what are you doing?

- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Oh! You swept the ground from under me.

- It was a friendly hug. - (laughing)

- (FBE) So a red card means that that player is out of the game

and you're a man short for the rest of the match.

- Virgil was my best player. - (laughing)

- Damn it!

(spectators cheering)

- We're at a magnificent score of 0-0.

Who's controlling the ball? Okay, you are.

- (giggling) Wait! - Ha ha!

- What are you doing? - No!

- Aah! - Shoot it! Shoot it!

- (laughing) I took him down.

- Oh my-- the gall of this woman!

Are we about to fight?

I feel like-- HA HO HO!

- Red's good, right? Red's the color of winning.

- Come on, buddy. No!

- Take him-- oh, damn it! I should have taken him down.

(ref blowing whistle) Take him down. Ooh, yeah!

- (announcer) ...at the end of 90 minutes.

- What a jerk!

- (announcer) A red card. Alas...

- So do we go into sudden death?

- (FBE) We are not going into sudden death, or golden goal.

Instead, we are going into penalty kicks.

- Okay.

- (anxiously) Uhhhhhhh.

- (announcer) And here's the first penalty taker.

- That was weak. I'm not good at kicking.

- You were good at kicking me!

Dang it! - (laughing) Oh man.

- OH NO!!!

- (announcer) ...as he steps up to take the--

- No! No, no, no! Dang it!

- Ooh!

- (announcer) Missed it by a country mile.

- YAY!!!

- My guy wasn't even trying. (laughing)

- (announcer) I don't think he'll go near a penalty.

- Uh! - Damn.

- (FBE) So Jennifer, this is it.

You have to make this one or Lotte wins. - Or not.

Oh, it's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. - I--

- UH!

- I didn't even hit any buttons. - This is what happens when you cheat.

- Hey, you know what? I had my fun though.

- I don't really know a whole lot about football and soccer

and what have you, but it was a blast.

- ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ (explosion)

- I'll be Chelsea.

That has five stars. I'm assuming that's good.

- All right, Dortmund.

Uh, I'll do the alternate because alternate is always better.

- Okay, so you're the bright one then.

- Let's go. - (groaning) Oh my gosh!

So I can't-- oh, okay!

So is this-- this is-- I think this is starting.

Oh, what does that mean? - What are you doing?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I don't even know what I am doing.

I feel like this is-- wait. Did I do that?

- Uh, I mean, I guess. - Or is that the computer?

Ah, ah! - Oh. Oh darn.

- Come on, punt.

Maybe if I just keep on running this will work!

(squealing) Please! - Nope.

- Aw, come on!

Get the-- this isn't even that hard of a game.

It's just taking a ball and kicking it into a goal.

- Okay, soccer is really complex, all right?

- I don't understand the rules of soccer.

- Oh my god! - I keep on kicking it out!

Oh my god. How did I go so far? Someone get the ball!

- (announcer) ...bursting to make an impact.

- What does that mean, that it rolled out?

What does it mean? - It's out of bounds.

- Let's throw the thing. - This game is going nowhere right now.

- No, it's going nowhere.

(spectators cheering)

- This is hard.

- I've had so many opportunities, but I haven't capitalized on anything.

- Kick it or whatever you're supposed to be doing right now. Yes.

God, I think I'm actually enjoying this, which is the worst part

because I-- (gasping) oh my god!

(groaning)

Go, go, go, go, go! Please, please, please--

- No, come back. - Please, please, please.

- Come back! - Please, no!

- Come back here. - Screw you, Dylan.

- No, no, no, no! - No, come on!

(gasping) Oh [bleep]! Dude, that was so close!

I am so mad.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.

No! No, Dylan, go away!

- No! - YES!!!

YES! Oh my god!

Oh, Dylan, I am so sorry, but this is so much fun.

Go, go, go, go. - Can I just score one goal, please?

- No! You can't have this, Dylan. (ref blowing whistle)

- Are we done? - No way.

- Wow. - YES!!!

- Why am I--? - WOO!

Yeah! Yeah, can I hear it in the back, please?

Woo! (laughing)

♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ (explosion)

- I'm gonna go with Real Madrid. - That's some typical shit though.

That's literally the only team I know.

- That's exactly why I picked them.

You're going with Portugal? - Yeah.

Let's do different colors. - This guy looks like Steve Nash.

- Dude, the purple looks good.

- I know, I'm feeling grapey right now.

- I'll go this team then-- this color-- so we can be opposite.

- Hey, my guy's running around. ♪ At night, I think of you ♪

Oh, f-- - (announcer) It's got the game underway.

- Where's the ball? - (announcer) A tackle from the defender.

- What? What? That was a horrible pass.

What is going on here?

I don't know what I just did. - Yeah!

Ha-cha! (spectators cheering)

- (announcer) Here's a shot! - Ha-cha! Ha-cha!

Huh-huh-huh-- - I don't even know what--

- GOAAAAAAL!

All right, here we go.

We're gonna pass it to him and then we're gonna--

- Come on. - Boom.

- No, okay-- I knew that wasn't over.

- The wind picked that up a little bit. - It did, yeah.

- I felt it actually through the TV.

(air horn blowing)

Don't these guys get paid a lot of money?

Like, shouldn't they know how to kick a soccer ball?

Oh, ooh, ooh.

- You're gonna get another point right here.

- (announcer) Another shot! (ref blowing whistle)

- You choked, man. - You get too excited

and then I just jam my thumb

into the controller and then I just shoot it over the stadium.

- Now I'm on the other side of the field, and I don't really like that.

Come on though. That was-- - That was a pass.

- I was about to say, huh?

- Wait, why am I in a goal over here?

I was just making sure there was nothing sketchy in that goal.

- Oh shoot, I got 13 minutes left.

Dude, look at how fast it goes!

What the heck? (ref blowing whistle)

Is it over? - (FBE) And that is the end of the match.

- You see, I was going down the field.

I won. - ♪ Victorious ♪

I hit it in the goal, that's all that matters.

We got the touchdown. We're going on to the next round.

It's gonna be fun.

♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ (explosion)

- I'm gonna be cheap as [bleep] because I know

he knows how to play the game,

so I'm gonna use the most OP team in the game.

- Classic XI?

- It's, like, all the OG legendary soccer players.

- I went with my boys, Man U.

I trust them to lead me to victory.

- What color are you gonna go with, because I only have white and blue.

- I'll go with red.

Okay, you can start off with the ball.

Go! Oh my god-- why didn't I take off Rooney?

Go! Go, De Gea. Throw it out.

- Give it to me! Give it to me! - Throw it at the-- dude!

Who are you throwing it at?! - Let's go, boy!

- Go! What are you--?! Rooney, you old [bleep]!

- Oh my god. - (announcer) I think that's the key.

- Dude! - (announcer) Another shot!

(spectators cheering)

- NO! This is some bullshit!

Did you see that?

Go, Rashford, go.

- (announcer) ...switch on the attacking power.

- I'm sorry, what? - Rashford!

- Bro, you [inaudible]. You overshot it.

That was you.

Yeah, I got it. - Dude, you're such a cheap player.

- Cheap player? You mean keeping it away from my goal?

- Get that-- dude! - Oh, take it!

Take it! Let's go! All the way!

All the way! (laughing) Go! - Bailly. Bailly.

(groaning) - De Gea, you beautiful angel of a man.

You got one lucky goal. - One lucky goal?

It was a fair goal.

(spectators cheering)

- Oh, we've got the ball here.

I've got my boy Lingard coming on.

- (announcer) It's an attack for Manchester United.

- Thank you. - (announcer) Another shot!

What? What's that? No!

- (screaming joyously)

I will gladly take that!

Oh my god. - Diss.

- Dude, why did my guy just fall? - I don't know.

That is a red card! - No, that's a yellow.

- That's-- you didn't even touch the ball!

Give him the red! - Oh shit!

- Red card, BOY!

- Pass it up. Give it back to Lingard.

Reus, finesse! - (announcer) ...goal, he went for it.