[wooden door knocking]

Good morning, monsieur La Petite. I am Colonel Hans Lander of the SS.

I was hoping you could invite me inside your home and we could have a discussion.

Uh, of course. Please come in.

Now. As you may have heard, I am in charge of rounding up all the Jews in this village.

Yes, I have heard that.

Are you aware of any Jews hiding in the area?

No. No, I assure you there haven't been no Jews in this village.

There... haven't been no Jews? So there have been some Jews?

Oh-- uh. Sorry, no I meant, err, there haven't been any Jews. No Jews here.

[scoffs]

Sorry. I was confused by your double negative. You see, grammar's very important to the Nazi Party.

Now. Are you familiar with one Shoshannnah Dreyfus?

Yes, I know her. Me and her buy our milk at the same market.

Me and her? Surely, you meant to say "she and I", no?

Yes, of course.

The trick is to take the other person out of the sentence to see if it makes sense.

"Me buy milk"? I think not. "I buy milk", you see?

I swear I do not know where Mademoiselle Dreyfus is at.

Did you just end a sentence with a preposition?

Forgive me, Colonel.

When was the last time you saw the Jew Dreyfus?

About a month ago, I was walking by the River Bayonne and I saw Dreyfus fishing

so I went down to the riverbank to see if it was her but I couldn't get a good view so--

[laughs heartily, then pounds his fist on the table]

Oh, did you really think I was so stupid I wouldn't recognise a run on sentence?

Sorry, there was no Jews here!

"Jew" or "Jews"-- plural?

Plural.

Wrong! You have to match your subject with your verb.

What do you want from me?

I've heard from numerous sources you are hiding Mademoiselle Dreyfus.

From who?

"From whom".

Don't kill me, please.

Miseur La Petite, I have one more question for you.

If you answer correctly, I will leave you and your family at peace. If not, you are coming with me.

Now. Let's say you are writing a list. Would you or would you not put a comma before the "and"?

It depends on whether you are following the Chicago Manual Of Style or the Associated Press Guide.

Hiding under the floorboards, I have finally found you.

Wait!

You are hiding under the floorboards or is she?

A dangling participle?

A dangling participle.

[gunshot, shocking horror orchestra stabs]

[Captions by Striata Music]