DBT同伴聯繫。第1d集--核心心智技能--由Rachel Gill撰寫。 (DBT Peer Connections: Episode 1d - Core Mindfulness Skills - by Rachel Gill)

Subtitles section Play video

for for
hi
my name is Rachel Gill arson and as PQ to scare
I'm a dialectical behavior therapy Pierce Park
meeting I help my friends learn skills and in the process
I don't mastery also a person living with and
advocating for people with borderline personality disorder
this is the first in a series of videos I created for on my friend %uh
you wanna learn DBT skills and not have access to your program
so I hope that you find the videos useful and let's get to building mastery
today we're going to start with choir mindfulness skills so
in dialectical behavior therapy skills training
there are four skills training modules
you start with core mindfulness interpersonal effectiveness
then emotion regulation and distrust right skills
now this is the traditional order that their top an
according to Marshall enhance man you know and the founder TVT
an but and for the this particular series we're going to be going in order
have carmine for miss then distress tolerance
then emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness and the main
reason that I'm not going to be doing this is that just working with my peers
it seems like and the people that I'm
aim mostly aiming this video these videos at I'm
would probably do better with learning the distressed heart skills first
so it's all an experiment but an
yeah if any have you have any comments or
or any them recommendations for improving on the videos they'll be
contact information Na'vi and please contact me I'd love to hear your
feedback
this so what is mindfulness
well mindfulness is a quality of attention
awareness and presents you bring to every day
life that means simply
mindfulness is being right here in a moment right now
without judgment and without trying to hold on to you
or give in or let go up
any emotions that a feeling she just experiencing the moment as it is
so how do we practice mindfulness well we have
two sets of skills first we have the right skills which relate to what you do
to practice mindfulness
and these skills are observed describe him
and participate and then a second set of skills we had is
are how skills and these relate to how you practice mindfulness
now how do we practice mindfulness in DBT we practice it
non-judgmental E we practice it one mindfully
and we practice it Eve effectively
now a lot of this information that will be
getting for me today an comes from
a add video by marcia lend a hand its
the first video in the series called from chaos to freedom
and this the one particular that I'm referring to in this video is this one
moment skills for everyday mindfulness so if you get a chance
and go to Amazon and and buy it because it's a great video
it is about 60 bucks but hate and
if you can afford it well then that's what this video stores so I hope
an you find it useful so
let's get in two Cor mindfulness so what are the goals
mindfulness well the gaza mindfulness are to you
reduce suffering increased joy
experience reality
just as it is activate
your wise mind now an
what is white mind well if you didn't get a chance to watch my introductory
video
and if you'd like to watch it go to YouTube dot com
and search for DBT peer connections and you'll find my channel
and that is the first video that I created
which is just an introduction and but we covered a
little bit the wise man so wide mind starts with logical mind
its to site we have to stay to mind we have our logical mind which is
a cool com collected
and rational it's where we make our reasonable decisions
and then the other polarized side to the logic mind is
the emotion mine in a motion mind you know I'm
is kinda the opposite is to like it runs hot
fast in and and not not as easy lead
not is easiest year as as your reasonable mine so
when we take both decide to do mind and we put them together
what do we get why is mine
which is the holy grail for us who have borderline personality disorder
which is essentially a arm emotion regulation disorder
so mindfulness is is key to DBT skills
an and if you if you get into this as
proper skills group your revisit the skills
mom a the mindfulness skills module
each time you get new people into the group
so an everything kinda comes back to mindfulness
so this is super duper important and it's super duper helpful
if you are willing to you work it
now before we get into you discuss seen
am the the skills in particular let's talk about mindful breathing
so an focusing on your breath increases
awareness to present moment which is the goal of mine from this
an and when we deliberately slow
the breath
we find that week in common nervous system
our mind starts to quiet are higher
rate lower and
it helps regulate are intense emotions
an now granted arm this isn't gonna work the same for everybody and some have you
might not find it useful at all
but I think for the majority of people that I've known to practice in
were mmm the research has shown is that the skills work
but they require a lot I've active
willingness and an motivation and
persistent so if you're someone who just likes to go get a prescription and is
you know take your medication and thats are you really
you know do right now is far spree mental health then
you're gonna have to step it up a little bit because this DBT is more
then just like you know standard topped their beer
psychodynamic therapy that most people think I have when they think of therapy
have
you know the freudian couch in people are
worries me well DBT is nothing like that it's very very skills-based its
ed based on a behavior technology
so there's the everything that you will learn in DBT
is very very an
specific to particular issue as well
mostly related to people who have BPD an
and ORS suicidal behaviors but an
the the skills are tried and true and so an
if if you're willing to take to work and work hard
you will you will start to see games I mean I when
from being homeless on the streets for years ago did being a college student
with honors now
if that gives you any indication so this is a very
awesome treatment and I wouldn't be spending all my free time making these
videos for you
if I didn't think it was worth the effort so
now when we go in a mindful breathing an
less we we want to breed from our belly
now we have a little clip here that will an
tell you a little bit more about how other breathing through the diaphragm
works your lungs expand to bring it might
essential gas oxygen from the air
expanded moms naturally contract 2x nobody's waste gas
carbon dioxide your loans usually expand and contract into me
wayne's one is an unconscious downward
and upward movement with in muscle call diaphragm
which separates the chest well
the other ways by raising or lowering rips to increase
or decrease the volume up a chance you breathe in
more in here when the diaphragm contracts
this towards the lower part of my mom's down when we breathe out
or eggshell die from and moans more lax
and return to their resting positions quiet
d Billy you is a more consciously controlled reading
that with practice can become the standard way
we deep Miley each the diaphragm awesome
by expanding to track the ad here
wife this allows the belly buttons to push
stunning diaphragm are which forces out more carbon dioxide
ways okay so
now when we're observing the breath mine Chile
an years a few tips to keep in mind
and you want to come back to your breath over
over again so if you start breathing and you're paying attention to your
breathing in your breathing out
and then Dobson you realize oh my gosh it earlier distracted
that's okay you're mine is going to be distracted just bring it back to your
breath
you know as much as you need to you and don't
don't try not to judge yourself for or compare yourself to others but
just go at the natural pace you can just keep practicing
an and as you continue your practice
try to continuously slow your breath
and just keeps slowing it and slowing in and slowing
as much as you possibly can an
so that you know by that by the time you become a
a DBT master you have this state have calmness that you can just call upon
just by bringing attention to your breath which is
pretty powerful on something I hope to get to some day but
I'm working on it and an
so like he said also be aware Irvine refrain from judging because this can
lied to you intensifying any and pleasant emotions you may be having
you're practicing them and
let observing breath bring you in the present moment cuz
ultimately that's the goal that mindfulness we don't want to be thinking
about the past or the future or
you know near that we wanna be thinking are about are not even necessarily
thinking
just experiencing now living
reading this one moment that's all that matters
because it's all will ever have an only in
time we can ever a fact so
an when we practice mindfulness in a skills training group
we usually begin the session by
and during a mindful practice mindfulness practice and usually
will start by ringing a bell
and make three times
so at the beginning have video you heard
the the bell so we would begin mine from its so you come in for your skills
training session
and everybody's there and then the leaders say oh okay
let's practice mindfulness and sometimes it'll be guided and sometimes it won't
so
today we're just gonna be practicing just just observing and breath
so we would start with ringing the bell three times
okay
so I'm just gonna kinda guy key through and
too so that you can get an idea of how we practice so you want to start out
by sitting comfortably you know with your body straight
straight up am and you what your posture to be
in a nice open posture so that your
your chest is open she can breed an and
some people practiced their eyes close but marcia
Lenahan says that the idea of mindfulness is living with your eyes
wide open so
open your eyes yeah and usually people world
were kinda take a soft gays
may be kinda kinda looking a little bit downward focusing on one spot see you
not like looking all over the place
and you mine remains still still as possible
comfortable I mean if you have to shift in you get and
you know pain in your later something you know
an go go ahead and move but the idea is that you want to you
you want to create a a moment of stillness
to where you're just in the moment not reacting to the moment an
so you wanna start with your eyes wide open and comfortably seated
and then when you start to breed you wanna breathe in
slowly through the nose so you begin
with and you wanna feel your lungs
in as you fill your lungs imagine your belly
is like a balloon so a lot of times and people
Lake take a deep breath they were like hunch their shoulders you known
and you know you're always second in our gets because you know
skinny is beautiful but has it are so
you know in america culture knew it but I am but we wanted nor that and we wanna
like
breathe as a for lungs are in a village so when you breathe in through your nose
put your hand on your belly and let your
your stomach like some expand
you know as with with the breath and when it and when
its for you know to fall as you can get it you know breathin is
as deep as you can in this slowly in as controlled as you can
and then we get to the top pas naturally
and then breathe out slowly through the nose
again and POS naturally so to it
most to start the whole cycle be like
and you wanna
you wanna try to keep going you know slowed and controlled
anti you know that's the theme and as your breathing
in and breathing out you can come up with the same to keep you
in a moment like you know breathe in and think wise
breathe out mind breathing
why be there
mind
and usually will do this for like now couple minutes or so
and then an will end at that
practice by ringing the bell
one more time and the practice so
with just you for the second you
there that we in its so
as when we going to future videos will start with this practice
an so when you hear the bells the cocaine we're going to mindfulness mad
an so now that you have an introduction to mindful breathing
this is gonna be your this is gonna be like
your mantra and what Pino practice it
every day every day %um it
whenever you have a moment an use it
use it to breed I'm used to practicing mindfulness an
so now that you have your first ski are mindful breathing let's get into the
nitty gritty and learning the skills
so first we've got to work skills
apps preserve describe him participate let's start with
observing what is observing as far as mindfulness goes in TBT
well observing brings you into the present when you observe something
you're observing it now so when you're observing your breath
it's something that's happening now if I'm observing
the wall looking at the wall and it's something that's happening now you keep
can't you can't observed something that isn't
that isn't in your
direct field so an you know you can observe the past you can't observe the
future you can only observe this moment
so reuse observing to bring us into the present moment
huh and how do what are the steps to observing
first you want to focus on one
thing at a time likely just such start with your breath
to good place to start and if you have a therapist you
you know are you have something else you wanna start with you can do that but
generally we start with that
we start with the breathless the first English focus on one thing at a time
and then an after you know
after you focus on that one thing you wanna notice your experience with out
describing it
this is a really difficult for you people
out there who are like me and have a racing thoughts so
an so if you find yourself like
observing in your like describing like especially if you're like
a racing thoughts and you're also a writer doesn't like me
then you know you find it really difficult to observe without describing
and that's okay you know the idea is that you wanna just know
you want you want you a noticed the experience and then just bring yourself
back to you just
observing and you can observe things that are
inside of yourself a like you can
observe an E you can observe
your thoughts an your your feelings
like like physical sensations I'm
your emotions but you can observe other people's emotions
we think we can but that we were looking at other people
some motions were actually inter-party interpreting their behavior
so the only I'm only emotions that we are able to actually observers are the
ones that are within ourselves
an and you can also observe things outside of yourself
like a watching
looking looking at the wall looking at the carpet
looking at a sunset looking at the clouds anything outside of yourself
you can you can observe anything on
if you're looking at hun and I am in
so when you're observing when when you notice a thought comes along
just notice it you know
you don't have to do anything else just knows and then you want you
return your attention back to observing so
when you I mean thing ever that did the trick is to
arm is to notice without going into judge even
you know and this can be really tricky for people who
are like me and have have borderline personality disorder BPD
on but that's the whole idea
practice makes mmm mastery
mad not perfect in dialectics we have
no we try to avoid the black might think so and
build mastery with my practice so when you observe
inside an you run a step back
and watch your mind so when you're observing inside an
E the ideas you don't wanna go
rig you don't wanna go inside yourself you know and and get lost in your
emotions are lost in your thoughts
the idea is you is you want to look at your internal experience Arctic Tern of
pots
as if you're somebody looking through a window and
you know at a department store is so your your
your absurd you're looking but you're not actually
responding to you you know you're not going in and trying on the closing in
you know and all that business you're just looking at you not trying to
grab onto the moment you're not trying to push it away
your justice experiencing as it so
you want to step back when you watch your mind and %um serving inside
then see if what comes in and when it does what do you do
notice it 90 this all sounds very simplistic
so don't let that fool you this is a very complex and it's really hard
practice
and it works so Sonnex kill
is described now describing is putting words too but
you observed an you can describe things that are outside it yourself and you can
observe
describe things that are inside it yourself
so arm you can describe
you can describe something outside yourself would be like see
my this table is
is rough hand between it feels kinda
kinda
bumpy the surface is kinda bumpy from
from where the word has it been stand down all the way
has a brownish color an
thats thats describing and something outside myself
describing something in inside yourself
and can be a little bit more tricky because you can it's easy to get lost in
you know your thoughts interpretations so when you when you're
when you're describing your thoughts the best way to go to
to go about it is to you and put put your thoughts in the categories
so especially with with people who have this conveyor belt though
the thoughts going you 24/7 like me
am E rather than China like I you know get all caught up trying to describe
release that's just put him in a little buckets from a category so you've got
like
0 there's a worry thought so %um but I worry top
there's a worry for in Yuma ok shoot there's a planning shot
and put the pot over here but me then you got up there's a critical thought
and and and that would be a way you describe describe him by
category more than like going into like you know
really getting caught because it's easy especially p.m. emotion regulation
problems to you
get caught up in descriptions especially if you're trying to describe an emotion
that's
you know intents and you're experiencing in and in a moment
an the key
is learning the difference between thought and a fact
now this is very very in important
for I'm freed understanding is that
we we want to describe own me what
we observe show them
let's say you're looking at me and
any n you think I'm and ok here's an example some
so my fiance when he gets really tired he starts to net his brows
and it looks like he's frowny bright
and you know so when he does this
like I my my thinking
you know coming with the borderline functioning at my brain
is to think oh my gosh she's mad at me right
well you know I I could be describing that he looks mad but
that doesn't that isn't I can't since I can't observe his emotions
you know we can only observe our own emotions and
it's not it doesn't apply describing bribes urs
and so what I wouldn't have to say would be like to describe you like
a fiance an
your arm your eyebrows
are kind of needed down in the center and it looks as if your frowny
are you frowning or are you tired you know so
you're just so in that sense I'm I'm describing what I am observing
in asking an you know asking about what to smash inside
an yeah so you wanna describe
only what you deserve it you can only observe your own emotions and you can
only observe things
that you can see and are right there here
now in a moment an and do not add or subtract from what you see
like you know the example I just gave you he knows think you know looking and
and describing the knitted browse that's a fact
arm the phat oh my gosh she's mad at me
that's a thought fact is knitted blouse
so there's a there's a difference there because what I've come to learn after
you know
describing you know what I seen on a special features and asking him
questions is that
in when when he's doing this it's usually likely at night
it's just ever it's a natural response he has retired
at it you know so add not nada
you know who being able to recognize the difference between my phat
and what the facts are were able to help me like figure out what
he was really feeling rather than going into my own world and Mike making up all
this
grandiose you know conspiracy period like everybody hates me which is
something I'm pretty good at but I am so ya being able to recognize the
difference between a thought in fact will help you
keep from falling into that on in
cycle problematic thinking interpretations
and yasser don't make interpretations and that's exactly what interpretation
is when you take
an me take a fact and you add or subtract to something
arabs track something to it becomes an interpretation
so like in farm your your
you're in line at the store in and the person's really
really rude to you at at they at the register
arm you know just because they're rich you doesn't mean that has anything to do
with you
that's our interpretation a bit maybe but really
you know if we really want to get down to the real root of our experiences
we have to look at the we have to be able to sort the fax from
our thoughts be has they can look like the same
they can look like the same thing sometimes and they're very
interchangeable
and mindfulness helps bring our attention to be able to point those
things out and certain out
to prevent us from going into problematic thinking target behaviors in
all that you know stuff that we're trying to do a
learn how to overcome with our DBT skills tree
between
annex kill that and in our web skills
is one of my favorite its participate
now it's participate participating is being present
boli in what ever activity you are engaging
so like right now I am participating I am NOT doing
anything but recording this audio for this video
and I am Foley engaged in it you know I have
all of my my doors are closed and and night my little recording room
is all you know set up to where all of my attention is strictly
too wet I am doing right here I'm participating in it and throwing myself
into it
and and I'm giving it my are without without
an without holding back and so you wanna throw yourself into an activity
it could be you know a hobby mother dancing
seen arm teaching gardening
anything you might enjoy anything that's participating whether it's a
you know it going to school or on
and playing merry playing
ring around the Rosie whatever you know part the idea participating is
is when you when you when you engage in when you decide to engage in an activity
you give it your fullest an healthy activities now
mind you and you want to become one with the activity now one example love me
becoming one of the activity is when I'm making me sick
there's probably no other activities that
arm that helps me
get to a place where I feel like I'm being one with the activity more
then music and when I'm in a flow it's like
everything else kind of just
falls away an anime their I'm in the moment I'm present in
and and nothing else matters and see
and it's a great it's a great feeling because you're giving olive your
attention to
to the activity so that whatever you're doing comes out to be
you know you've given it your 100 percent and because you're being able to
be in the moment
you're not suffering about the pastor suffering about the future suffering
about the suffering about that you're just doing what you're doing
I'm so you know you can participate in so many different ways there's lotsa
participation
an activities that you can do your mindfulness practices
and better like a you can
well well well will learn some of those later on but
am you wanna lose self-consciousness in activities so if you're gonna
if your gonna let's say you're you're gonna
you get up in the morning and you decide to turn on the radio
and the song comes on your really like the song
and you start to sing on well if you gonna lose self-consciousness you gotta
sing it
don't just don't honestly know Lana million in this is my favorite sound
you gotta get into it be line this is my favorite servo
your give it your all you know don't lose self-consciousness
in and throw yourself into the act fully participate
on now participating is very rewarding
and its also really hard especially for someone who has
arm you know a
problems dealing with social situations are you're shy
or an are fearing have a gore phobia
like i doing in your you to eat you're uncomfortable and big crowds of people
are
or what not you know am it's hard it's hard to participate
an because it requires you to bring all the attention to what you're doing in
the morning and especially in this day in age where to multitask multitask I
gotta be here 10 minutes ago and their five days ago
you know it's its art cultures not really set
up in a way that is encouraging towards the participation factor so
and it takes a lot a a diligence and motivation an
focus so it's hard but its
its a.m. something is very worrying it's an essential
mindfulness skill
I'm so now that you've got
your what skills let's go to the house skills
so we've got one mindfully non-judgmental e& effectively so it
started out where
when mindfully
now a skills overby for these hills is so
our house kills refer to you how to observe
how to describe and how to participate
and like a like we show you the last lighthouse
our house skill sets are non-judgmental E
one mindfully and Eve effectively
sup let star
with I am
non-judgmental so first let's talk about what judging
is judging as observing a fact and then adding an evaluation
a good or bad to it so
an
when word when when we're looking at judgments
at the most important things thing that we need to keep in mind is
knowing the distinction between observing and judging
and observing and describing there's there's a big difference here
an depending on which angle you're using
it can cause an they can either lead to
her can lead to emotional distress
you know when you're judging judging judging or can lead to
I am gathering information and knowledge you know when we are able to observe and
describe on a fact basis
you get a real more accurate clear picture every ality the new to you
if you're if you're looking at judgments an
so am
let's look at an example have judging and this is taken straight from
marshes video an
the example she uses is is she says so
merry said something not true on purpose
and she is bad for lying so
you know an mary says something that wasn't sure
an when we're judging we say she's bad you know
now if we were to describe the same situation
and without the judging then we were might say
merry said something that you on purpose and there were consequences for line
now and saying somebody is bad is not a fact
but saying that there's consequences for not telling the truth
that is a fact so you see the difference between the judging
and in describing
now judging is basically a shorthand way to describe consequences
an we look at negative consequences as
bad in the shorthand and we look at positive consequences
as good in a shorthand now
the problem with judging shorthand is that sometimes it confuses the
difference between judging consequences
as good or bad and judging her sons
as good or baton which are
two totally different things you know we don't want to judge a person's character
you know judging the consequences and can provide us useful information but
judging persons
generally is not least in my opinion it doesn't tend to be very helpful
I'm unless you are a judge in a courtroom her
a so you know
we you know especially in DBT we try to you
we try to move away from polarized
or black and white thinking and we can we try to take those polar ends and
bring him to a center
you know to to add to a dialect which is synthesizing both of
the sets to bring em to and ballots in the center
so an you know I I've pretty much try to
be mindful abusing the words good or bad
and when I'm describing stuff a especially when it's related to people
because they're
an trying to practice my non-judgmental a skier
and the main so the big problem swift judgments
are is that it you know when you're judging it makes it hard for you to
react to the real world
you know when you're reacting to your judgments any in your in your moral
a values and those hands of things it makes it a lot more difficult for you to
interpret the world for what it really is and respond accordingly
an it also causes on ending problem emotions and boy is that like an
understatement in my personal
should be tense an you know it
particularly with my own personal journey an
I have a lot of problems with judging myself you know a
and so you know be non-judgmental years when I really
I'm work on a lot especially with myself because
am thats who attended wanna judge more than
ppl's
so now if you wanna so so few are thinking about reducing your judgments
I here's hear some steps here today get you on your way
first you wanna ask yourself is it a priority dearest
reduced judging do you admire do and not wanna reduced
judging so the idea is that if somebody tells you you need to stop judging
you know in being using the non-judgmental a skill
is your choice you don't use non-judgmental you because somebody
tells you to you because your therapist says you need to be non-judgmental
is not going to be very effective unless it's something that is important to you
or that you
is that you've think is useful to you so
you know you ask yourself do I heard UN what do I
or do I not want to you reduced judging and if you don't
then maybe you don't my practice your skills but an
you know but you know the main thing is is it let yourself
beer guy don't let other people tell you were you need and what you
should do you you know ultimately you
have the Y you have your wise mind and nobody else
can access that white men you have all
love your knowledge that you need in and DBT skills
and just helps you tap into that way his mind you know a lot of therapies
and be especially psychodynamic therapy is have this kind have
this kind of like am feeling about like when you go into therapy that you know
that but
therapist has some sort of like special knowledge about you you know that you
don't know about yourself and so they can tell you what you need to do your
tell you what's wrong with you
with the BT doesn't doesn't look at problem behaviors in that manner
DBT looks at the person as he
as you are your best you are your own best source of knowledge
and you have everything you need inside a BD BT just helps bring that up
and the next thing you want to do when your and reducing judgments as you want
you
notice your judgments your thoughts your actions you turn a voice
body posture and you know you're bringing awareness bringing awareness to
your judgments
an a good way to help bring this awareness is to monitor your judgments
by carrying them
an there's are kinda little
an counting aP's that you can get on your smartphone
where you know which which here's here's one thing get like at a counter
a generic counter for your smartphone and for one day
every time you notice yourself judging click it click on a counter
and then at the end of the day look at look at your tone CMH
you judge you will be absolutely amazed at how much
you judge because we are judgmental creatures
it and and
and as your monitor your judgments remember do not
judge your judge Jeanine them
now when you're we reduce your judgments try
try after you noticed your judgments try replacing those judgments with
consequences
so try to restate but like when you when you notice a judgment try restating that
judgment in terms of consequences
our fax an so
like a let's say I'm become an example
on so a
and my my I am
I a
okay so the shirt I am I try and a shirt
and i'm looking at it and I'm thinking oh my gosh I look so
fat in this shirt is so ugly okay well that's a judgment so
maybe 500 every phrase that into you consequences be like
oh wow the shower is way too small for me it just doesn't fit
you know so by shifting the way that I'm I'm and describing
I'm changing what would be a
a self a self deprecating
you know comment and turning into you something it's a totally different just
like the shirt doesn't fit me
so you know you're replacing a judgment the consequences and always remember to
keep
clear about the differences between judgments and fax
now the next skill that you wanna learn in your
in your house skills is when mindfully I'm I'm fully means exactly what it
sounds like
it means one mindfully is doing
one the act the time
now I'm not doing why I'm not being totally when mindfully right now
so while I'm putting most to make tension in queue
an this audio recording I'm also at the same time
you know flipping through my slides and and monitoring
the audio levels and whatnot so I'm even know it sounds like I'm really focused
I'm still multitasking
so practicing one mindfully requires us to really
be take a conscious
step to practice when mindfully I'm you can practice when mindfully
while doing the dishes so when you're doing the dishes
do them slowly you know put all the attention
into just the dishes you know white bean you know
down the side of the bowl and and and then
you know feeling the bull feeling the sink with water and the sides
and is bringing olive your attention to just what you're doing you know and and
being
being mindful to intrusion thoughts and then bring it back into your focus you
can
breathe when mindfully an there there's all kinds in
you can do just about anything when might flee when thing that I a
I practice a lot is that because I have a core phobia
whenever I leave the house which is usually when I'm going to DBT
an made made DBT individual ordered
our group an that's prolly right before I leave the house is probably the most
intense part for me you know I'm panicking
its I'm just going out I'm I'm a mess you know
and so when I get into the shower an
that's the time that I usually take to practice my one mindfully
you know so when I get in the shower my mind wants to go oh my gosh
do I have my homework done to have this print it out do I i and
with a traffic light oh my gosh remain aware you know I'm thinking in all these
places
so when I get in the shower I just tell myself when mindfully
just put the shampoo in my hair
just lather my hair up with the champagne
just rents my hair out
just rinse my hair now grab this so
grab this so you now put it on my skin
you know and so you know bite by focusing on just what I'm doing in the
moment I can help
alleviate some that suffering and some that panic that's really unnecessary
an that would come up if began before
I was able to practice my mind for a so thats you know
showers before I hit for I leave the house is usually the time when I
practice my my
my one mind and when you can observe one mindfully
you can describe when mindfully and you can participate when mindfully
now where interferes with when mindfully
brown not liking the current moment you are an
when the past in the future getting away
and they do a lot in my case his and the theories and you want to use when
mindfully
are is that it's more efficient regardless of what people tell you that
multitasking
the science tells us that its not
more efficient to multitask and that the quality have
you know whatever you're doing is gonna be a lot better if you're doing one
thing at a time so it's more efficient
it lowers you to live life to the fullest because you're
you're fully embracing every activity that you're doing and you're doing it
when mindfully fully engaged you know so like when you're
walking down the street your just walking
taking each step noticing each step
and and feeling your but as it touches the ground and it lifts a
Pino really paying attention every little nuance
a.m. as you're just walking you know that would be a one-eyed
and then the last thing in them probably the one of the most important things
everyone a much convincing
arguments for me and practicing my free is that it reduces
suffering and if there's one thing
that people who have borderline personality disordered you
it stays saffir and motions
are just hell for us
an add that to the stigma and the lack of awareness that comes around
borderline personality disorder
and it's a recipe for and my suffering
and that's why hallelujah marshall et Ann
broadest this wonderful treatment and now we have the skills
so which got practice them learn a min pak to them
so now that you got your when mindfully down
we go to effectively know what is effectively mean it means doing
what works you know going straight to work
works and doing it effectively an
so steps to being effective you want to start
out with asking yourself what are my goals
you know what am I trying to do here an
many ask yourself what do I need to do to reach these goals
and and then you know you gotta find out what you're trying to do before you can
you can figure out how to be effective about it you know so like
I wanted to create the skills training videos you know so
that could be you know you could go about a million different ways doing it
effectively is looking at
how can I do this in a way that's cost-effective
and how can I do this in a way that I can reach a lot of people
and I can do it for my house okay I got power points
I got me some recording devices this'll do it this is effectively
whereas if I was like that with I would have went from see
I wonder seconds come up with some money and maybe I could get into a studio in
maybe I can find somebody who knows something about directing or
may be a good call marshall in a hand and see it you know well these are all
like
you know alcanza ideas that you might come but brainstorming
it's not necessarily about going about it effectively you know
going about effectively is looking for that for the the
the most that the easiest
route that is also the most I'm conducive with your goals
I'm so what gets no way
being effective well
wanting to be right and 00 boy
if there's one thing that II and very
very primed to you it's whining to be right
hidden an another thing that gets in the way of my
being effective is not wanting to make the effort
you know sometimes you know and I will admit I am a DBT die-hard
you know I'm like 10 the biggest DBT fine and you'll find
you know I practice every single day but every very very very once in a while
I'll just have a day we're all just be like you know what
I just don't wanna do skills today I am show skilled
out I just need a break you now so you know
maybe I don't wanna be a I don't wanna make the effort that day to be effective
and I just wanna stay in bed and watch
for soap operas so an you know that'll get nowhere being it
effective and then also not focusing on your most important goals
arm you know so like for me
and you know I'm in college right now if fire
you know I'm trying to balance my school work with this project I'm doing with
creating this vid
videos and being effective would would be
okay I'm not gonna work on my on my private research stuff here
and chill I work on my homework that would be being effective
but being ineffective would like who I really got a great idea for this video
on demand do that now get my homework later
in a Mac turn it in later not get into are so that would be it getting in the
way
beam effect
so that pretty much and cut that's a really
kinda condensed version have have your mindfulness skills
and just a quick review our what skills are observed describe participate
our house goes are when mindfully non-judgmental E
and effectively so I hope this gives you a kind of them
a a general overview have the skills and how you might apply am
and if you have any questions
please feel free to contact me
an you can find me
on at eat but first you can email me which is probably the most direct way to
contact me if you can
email me at I love DBT at gmail dot com
and just put in your subject you know
mine from a studio or whatever and and I'll get back to you as soon as you can
I answer questions you can also read my blog how
at DBT work stop WordPress to calm I have a blog it's Kody we keep your
connections
and them there's i right DBT poetry
I am i right I advocacy articles for people with the
BPD an micro lessons are skills training
on neat little blurbs a stuff like that
and anything DBT and
positive images and people with BPD so to good place to go and kinda just
you know if you're feeling invalidated or like the world's be in stigmatizing
to you will come to my
blogging and film feel the love yeah
and you can also join are you can also connect with me on Facebook
I haven't DB keep your connections Facebook page
and where you can find posts links to my
blogging and other interesting DBT laying send
us peer support an stuff like that
and then we have I also have a peer group
an on Facebook
and you have to request to join so
because it's a it's a private group so you go to face but dot com slash group
slash DBT skills request to join
and then willa get your invitation will a preview and then you can come in
and and start I'll you know sharing skills and learning skills and building
mastery with me n
are your DBT peers an
yeah so I I hope you find this useful
a video and the next video that I'll be working on
will be and reality accepted skills which is also a part
a mindfulness at and if you have any questions comments or recommendations
for future videos please contact me and I would love to hear what you have to
say
and till next time please stay mindful an
love and kindness hours