Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles >>Russell Peters: This happens to me, more often, than not, now, at my age. I'm 45. I'll be 46 this year, and-- You know, after 40, it's a completely different life. [To audience member] How old are you Omar? 33, yeah, you don't know, yet. [Laughter] Let me tell you something, Omar. Like, say you're 39, today, and then 40, tomorrow-- it's a completely different life, you'll lead. It's-- It's like a warranty, on a car. [Laughter] The minute you hit a hundred thousand, the transmission falls out. Just-- [Laughter] That's what happens. The minute you hit 40, shit breaks, out of nowhere. [Low laughter] Like, you-- you have to listen to your body, after 40. You can't just ignore, what your body tells you. When you're young, 33, if I was like, "Yeah, I'm gonna jump off the stage!" If I was 33, I'd be like, "Uh, don't do it!" But then I'd jump, and then my body would be like, "Alright, fine." "You're 33. You can jump off the stage." [Low laughter] But at 45? Fuck that! If I was like, "I'm gonna jump off the stage," my legs would break, before I hit the ground. [Laughter] Your body goes, "Fuck you, asshole!" [Mimicks breaking sound] [Laughter] After 40, man-- I'll tell you what, [Old southern man voice] "I'll tell ya hwat!" When I, uh-- [Low laughter] When I turned 40, this guy came up to me, and he goes, [Raspy voice] "Hey Russell, now that you're 40, remember this. Two things; After 40, never waste a hard-on, and never, trust a fart. [Laughter] And the "trusting a fart" thing, is so much more important, than you think! [Laughter] Now, trusting a fa-- Like tr-- Like-- When you're young, you can fart-- You're 33! You can just walk around, [fromp fromp fromp-- fromp fromp fromp fromp fromp] Hey guys, did you hear about the [FROMP] and then you just, keep it-- [fromp fromp fromp frompfromp fromp] You could have, little fart games, if you want. "Pull my-- [FROMP] and then-- [Laughter] After 40, you don't have the "fart freedom," that you had before that. After 40, you fart, in sections. Just-- [bip bip bip bip bipbip] [Laughter] You let little bits out, at a time. [bip bip bip bip bipbip bip bipbip bipbip bip bip bip] 'Cause you wanna make sure, its air. You wanna feel it, the whole way. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. Air. The minute you feel too much heat, Abort! [Yelling] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! This is not a test! [Laughter and Applause] ♪ ♪
A2 US laughter fart russell air abort omar "Turning 40" | Russell Peters - Almost Famous Outtake 204 10 Luca Chuang posted on 2017/06/19 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary