where I show adorable kids doing terrible things.

And it got me thinking I could do a similar segment about a different topic.

How many of you here have husbands?

All right.

Great. All right. I love husbands.

I do. I love them.

They're handsome.

They're funny.

I just don't want one of my own, and here are some of the reasons why in my brand new

segment, Why I don't have a husband.

All right.

Here's the first one.

So that takes a steady hand and no steady job, I think.

Wow!

Here's the second one.

>> [LAUGH] >> So

he's got a video game control in both hands, a plate of Cheetos on his chest.

And they say women are the multitaskers, come on.

Men are multitaskers too.

Here's another one.

>> [LAUGH] >> Look Ma, no hands.

Also no girlfriend, and no job, and no feeling.

[LAUGH] In my lips.

Here's another one.

[LAUGH] Well.

It's the old saying, I want a man in the streets and a cartoonist in the sheets.

>> [LAUGH] >> Not only do I have photos,

I also have a video.

>> [SCREAMING] >> The white rhino charges.

>> The white rhino charging into the [INAUDIBLE].

>> [LAUGH] >> [APPLAUSE] He

seems like a gentle lover.

[LAUGH] Now the guy eating

Cheetos off

his chest seems like a real catch doesn't he?

[LAUGH] If your husband does something you think I should see, please send it to me.