a human presence

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Good afternoon, Youtube

Welcome to Juice News

I`m Robert Foster, and this I s the top spot

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Lead story this afternoon is this:

You Lunatics!

NASA to send a missile to blast the moon to bits

I have with me in the studio, General Baxter

Veteran, Gentleman and representative of NASA

Good to have you here, General

- Good to be here Bob

- Now this is something that we hear a lot

Has Nasa Completely Lost it?

What do you say to that?

- Ha ha, Bob

Take it back!

No, just kidding, you know that

The whole fact is we`re itching to go back

To the moon with a human but have no cash

And no craft, But we can`t hold back,

We gotta start it!

Those sneaky Ruskies are throwing flags

Under the antarctic

Besides, jeez!

The Chinese might seize the bull by the teets and plant their own flag

Let`s face it, we got what it takes to win

if God had wanted Communists in space He would a gave em wings

But seriously, You need to just see

The moon is a motherlode of Helium 3

Just twenty three tonnes is enough to power the US

For a year at least

- OK, so please can you say what the objective of the plan is?

- The plan is we`ve used all the earth`s resources

Damn it!

If there`s some gas we`ll grab it,

Land, we`ll have it !

Yehaaw!

There`s gold in them there planets!

So the first mission objective is to save expenses

The second objective is to generate attention

So our budget don`t get axed at the next election

Thirdly we`re detecting if the moon

Can assume the role of space waste collection

Forthly we wanna build a lunar fortress

A staging post to get the universe and the moon`s resources

Ice

Diamonds

Coal

Cheese

Brown people

Mining minerals

- Thank you for your time, General

It all sounds sensible, but is it a good decision

But some are convinced there`s a dark side of the moon mission

Now with direct link via satellite feed

Is Terrence MoonSeed from the lunar defence league

Shut up, Bob, you better listen!

This unprovoked attack on the moon is terrorism!

Which the Shining Ones, and the Galactic force

may well consider to be earth`s first act of war

And amateur astronomers are planning stupid parties

Where they`ll grab their telescopes

And view a kamikaze missile slamming into the lunar target

Of the Nasa masons and the goddam corrupt "Illuminati"

You see, you need to see things mythically

Then you`ll begin to understand the conspiracy

The moon is the feminine, the huntress, Diana

And it`s like 12 years since they sacrificed princess Diana

The moon is what helps the earth spin

Dammit!

Controls the tides, precession

it`s our twin planet!

And Nasa wants to bomb it?

It`s hollow: We might crack it!

If this mission goes ahead, The LDL will hijack it!

- Alright, thanks kid

General, your responses?

- Bob, I`m not even deigning to respond to this dumb kid

Terrorism?

kid, I`ll give you a terrorised face

¿Would you rather North Korea colonised space?

We need to get up there and chart the minerals

You goddamn hippy bleeding heart liberals

We`re trynna leave this world and build a better one

This is the cheapest mission Nasa has ever done

- And it`s also the first attack on a neighbour

Goddamit!

You`re not a servant of the world

You`re a traitor!

!¿A traitor?!

Boy, I`m gonna beat you with spanners!

Take you to a fema camp and teach you some manners

- Manners!

General, Nasa is now a disgrace

This mission contravenes article four of the treaty on outer space

We`re out of place, they`re singing the fake scriptures

For the bildabergs and the reptilian shapeshifters

Everybody should be up in arms: it`s the moon !

- It`s just the moon!

We never even went to the moon!

$%*=0 You!!

Ok, Now hang on General, before this gets too far

Bombing moons, are we turning the world into

¿A death star?

¿What do you mean?

Well we`re paving earth

Making it grey, erasing Nature`s worth

Now, we attack another planet, degrading it

All the hollywood movies show aliens invading us

But that`s exactly what we`re becoming

Violence !

It`s inside us

¿Isn`t this the spreading of the human virus?

That`s horseshit, Bob!

Human virus!

We`re the rulers of the universe!

Look at your bibles!

Bibles?!

These babylonians worship Isis

And now they`re gonna bomb where the ice is

So they can bottle it and sell it to us for inflated prices

¿And you want to pay fair prices for your Moon Ices?

Precisely!

¿So it`s economics and prices rather than bombing the moon

that`s the crisis?

These guys are rich!

We just want a piece of the pie, Bitch!

I mean it`s all wrong, Obama`s bomb is wrong !

Ok, that`s about it for the show today

But before we go away , I`ll leave you with this thought

As the days revolving

We may have problems, but

¿Is this our only way to solve them?

Just bomb them?

¿Aren`t we supposed to be evolving?

Yet here we are responding...

Problem?

Bomb them!

As for colonising space, and the Infinite system.

¿Should we be allowed on another planet before we`ve even learned to live on this one?

Well, whatever should happen to the moon on October ninth,

This is Robert Foster for Juice News

Signing off

Good Night