it forever.

This is the story of what happened.

My husband and I are visiting our best friends Mark and Karen.

We’re sitting out on their front verandah drinking wine and just starting to enjoy ourselves

when we hear violent pounding coming from downstairs.

We look at each other, confused –

“Axe murderer?”

I suggest.

Mark ‘s sure they don’t knock.

The pounding starts again.

We can’t agree on who should go down to face certain death, so all four of us descend

the stairs.

Karen bravely opens the door and we see that the possible axe murderer is really an irate

woman who immediately takes a step inside, looks straight at Phil, and barks -

“Is that your car on my nature strip?”

Phil repeatedly reassures her that the little yellow car outside her house isn’t ours

and eventually she leaves

As we go back upstairs we’re like little kids, sniggering at this taste of neighbourhood

nuttiness

Relaxing on the veranda we have no idea just how interesting the evening is about to become.

I glance over the railing and see an extraordinary scene.

I call everyone over to watch the drama unfolding in the street.

The irate woman is now standing near the little yellow car looking very upset.

She starts circling the car- pulling on each of the door handles one by one.

A man joins her.

He tries to open the boot, attempts to push the car and even kicks the tyres.

Their interaction with the car is anything but civil.

We lean on the railing, watching as the couple continues this odd behavior.

After ten minutes or so they leave the car and disappear inside the house.

I’m dismayed the show is over.

But no!

It’s not.

To our great delight the couple are back outside pacing up and down their tiny verandah, talking

in an animated manner and waving their arms around.

Finally she stops pacing, puts her hands on her hips and gives the car a death stare while

her husband gets on his mobile and begins an intense conversation.

By the way he gestures toward the car we can guess what it’s about.

We’re all thrilled to have box seats to this silly street opera.

now I know you may be thinking that this is an older couple…

not at all..

they look to be in their twenties and this is

FRIDAY NIGHT

To our astonishment the couple come out through the front gate and begin their performance

all over again.

It’s as if we’ve pressed replay.

He ends up leaning in the doorway as though there’s tragedy afoot.

We’re doubled over with laughter, tears running down our faces.

We’re almost wetting ourselves.

This crazy couple has spent the best part of an hour fretting about a car parked on

public property outside their house.

I’m laughing so much I can barely gasp out my sentence:

“Who, who, who, would do this?

Who would be this stupid.

Who would waste their Friday night upset about a car?”

Then I stop laughing.

I’ve realise I know the answer to my question.

I know exactly who would do this

I know who is as idiotic as this couple

Me!

Me!

I would be this stupid.

I am this stupid.

I’ve just been watching myself

I go round and round whatever yellow car happens to be parked outside my house –

I’ve been driving myself crazy with my fears, imagined catastrophes, regrets and obsessions.

And I get on the phone and drive everyone around me crazy too, rehashing that past hurt,

freaking out about the future or whining about what went wrong.

I’m just like the crazy couple.

I am them.

Even on a Friday night – I take my misery everywhere I go.

After a few moments of sobering enlightenment, I say to Phil,

“Whenever I start doing that – whenever I start acting in that insane way about something

that I can’t change…

Or some imagined something that might happen in the future – remind me about tonight.

And now, whenever I begin my nutty obsessing … which is daily he’ll watch my performance

for a while a bit then with a smile he'll say

“Toni, Toni…

‘It’s just a yellow car’

and I’ll laugh, relieved I’ve been reminded not to be such a moron.

And look – I’m smiling a whole lot more these days.

Hi, this is Toni and you’ve just heard the first part of my funny little book

The Yellow Car

Check out my website to find out more

Have a great day, and remember – a lot of the time

“It’s just a yellow car.”