Didn't you know we went that way, right? -Two. -She put two rings on it.

你肯定不知道我們關係進展到這樣了吼？ - 2 枚戒指 -她幫我戴了 2 枚上去

Hey, what's up there?

嘿，大家過得怎麼樣呀？

It's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.

我是瑪莉．芙萊奧 (美國跨多行業專家)，你正在收看的是 Marie TV，這裡能讓你學會創造你所熱愛的事業與生活

And today is Q&A Tuesday and this question comes from Fred who writes:

今天是星期二的你問我答時間，今天的問題來自佛萊德，上面寫道：

"Hi, Marie.

「嗨，瑪莉

I've run a business for about 40 years and my question is this, how can I give more attention

我經營事業已經 40 多年了，我的問題是，我該如何更加重視

to my success and less attention to the setbacks?

自己的成功，而別一直在意過去的失敗？

I noticed that when a deal falls through, it gets a lot more emotional bandwidth and

我有注意到生意談不成的時候，它會比我生意談成時，帶給我較多的情緒反應

feeling bad than the deals I make. I would like it the other way around.

以及不好的感受，要是情況能反轉過來就好了

Thanks for your help, Fred."

感謝妳的協助，佛萊德」

Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred.

佛萊德啊佛萊德

First of all, you guys, Fred's in business 40 years. Can we? Come on.

首先，大家聽好了，佛萊德的事業經營了 40 多年耶，我們都沒還做到呢！來點掌聲吧

And second of all, Fred, this is a great freaking question. Come on.

再來第二點，佛萊德，你這問題真的是問得太好了，再來點掌聲吧

And I'll tell you why, because I have wanted to do an episode about this for a very long time.

我來告訴你們原因是什麼，其實我老早以前就一直很想做一集這樣的影片

Now, I am sure everyone watching right now can relate, because no matter who you are,

我相信現在在看這部影片的觀眾，多少都覺得心有戚戚焉，因為不論你是誰

no matter how experienced you are, or no matter how successful or accomplished you are, all

不論過去你經歷多少風雨，不論現在你多有成就

of us tend to focus on that one negative comment – the one person that rejects us. Right?

只要是人都比較容易去在意負面的批評，以及反對抨擊我們的人，沒錯吧？

The tiny little sliver of customers who are just committed to being miserable.

就是會有這麼少數人喜歡鑽牛角尖在不好的事情上

And the reason why is because of a well-documented phenomenon called negativity bias, which is

這種情況其實是源自於一個大量研究證明後的現象，叫作「消極偏見」

the tendency for us humans to pay more attention and give more weight to negative experiences

也就是我們人類相較於中立或正面的感覺而言

over neutral or positive ones.

會比較容易在意負面的感受

Now, I gotta say, this is not just some fancy psychological concept, people.

這裡我要說清楚，各位，這可不是什麼天馬行空的心理學概念

This is real. This is how our brains are wired.

這是真實的，我們的大腦就是這樣構思的

They are wired to take in the bad and ignore the good.

大腦本身易於接收壞的資訊，而忽略好的一面

Now, I think we should talk about why.

這時候我們就要來談談為什麼

So here's the deal.

事情是這樣子的

This ancient brain circuitry helped our ancestors stay alive and for millions of years now,

遠古時期開始，大腦迴路幫助我們的祖先，得以在百萬年前的險惡世界存活

mother nature has been training us to overestimate threats and underestimate opportunities and resources.

大自然不斷訓練我們面對威脅要提高警覺，別太高估所遇的機運和資源

So back in the day humans would hear a noise in a bush and instantly think, "Tiger!"

所以在過去，人類如果從樹叢中聽到一些聲響，第一個反應就是「老虎！」

versus, "Hm, I wonder what that is.

而不是「恩，不知道是誰來了

Is that Erik coming over for a cappuccino?"

難道是艾瑞克想跟我來喝一杯卡布奇諾嗎？」

Now, while back in the day that hair-trigger readiness to think "tiger" and go negative

所以在遠古時代，捕風捉影當下，隨即讓我們聯想到「老虎」，這樣消極的思考模式

was great, because it kept us alive, nowadays it just keeps us feeling awful.

很棒沒錯，因為那有益於我們存活下去，但到了現代，消極偏見卻讓人不好受

And it's not just about feeling bad in the moment.

而這不只是在當下會感到難受而已

Negative experiences move more quickly into our long-term memory and, get this, negativity

負面感受還會迅速滲透到我們的長期記憶區，但請記得

is terrible for your health.

負面感受往往對健康有害

It can weaken your immune system, it can increase anxiety, and reduce your ambition.

它會弱化你的免疫系統、增加焦慮，以及減少對事情的憧憬與抱負

You know, my favorite expert on this topic is a guy named Dr. Rick Hansen

你知道嗎，在這個主題中我十分欣賞的一位專家瑞克.韓森博士

who wrote Hardwiring Happiness, which I recommend.

他針對這項主題寫了一本書叫「大腦快樂工程」，推薦大家去讀 (譯註：Dr. Rick Hansen是美國神經心理學家)

He puts it best.

書中他比喻得很有趣

He says:

他說：

"The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones."

「大腦對於負面感受就像魔鬼氈一樣黏 T T，但對正面感受卻像鐵氟龍一樣不當一回事」(譯註：teflon 俗稱鐵氟龍，抗酸抗鹼，幾乎不溶於所有溶劑)

So the missed sale, that unsubscribe, the refund, the nasty comment… that's what

所以像是談不攏的生意、被取消訂閱、被退款、噁心沒水準的留言，都是我們容易

tends to stick.

在意的事物

But the good news here, there are abso-smurf-ly things that you can do to neutralize negativity

不過幸好，當你又被消極偏見影響的時候，絕對有辦法能讓你將它 (譯註："abso-smurf-ly" 為 "absolutely+smurf" 之複合字，smurf 源自藍色小精靈，劇中將任何字詞冠上 "smurf"，做強調使用)

bias when it gets triggered and tip the scales towards the positive.

變得比較中性，而且還能把它變成正向的事情呢

In fact, here are three to get you started.

事實上，以下三招能讓幫助你做到

Step number one is name it to tame it.

第一招，「重述而平撫」

Now, we have to start with self-awareness, because you cannot change what you don't notice.

首先，我們必須從自我意識覺察開始，因為你沒辦法改變你沒注意的事

So step number one is to simply acknowledge what's going on when it happens.

所以第一步，就是事情發生當下，要認清事實

So the next time you get a zinger, do not let yourself start thinking that you suck

要是下次你又遇到令人意外的事情，別再覺得自己糟透了

or that everything is going to hell in a handbasket, because it's not.

或是覺得一切都完了、沒救了，因為事實絕不是那樣

You just need to say to yourself or to someone else,

你只需要告訴你自己或他人：

"Ah, this is negativity bias.

「啊，這不過只是消極偏見嘛

This is my brain's ancient circuitry doing its job to help keep me alive."

這只是我的大腦迴路在執行它的工作，來幫助我生存下去罷了」

Now, here's the thing, naming it doesn't instantly make the pain go away, but it does

重點就在於，雖然這樣的方式不會讓傷痛立即消失，但至少能

help to lessen the sting.

減少心裡受到的傷害

Step number two is get deliberately distracted.

第二招，「故意分散注意力」

So, if at all possible, distract yourself with something else intentionally.

所以如果可以的話，盡量刻意分散自己的注意力

Now, this is all about learning how to put your attention where it serves you best, and

這樣的目的，是要讓你學會如何將注意力放在好的地方

that just takes practice.

多練習幾次就會熟練

Because what you allow your mind to focus on shapes your brain.

因為心中特別專注的事情，會形塑你的大腦思維

So rather than amplify the pain, really shift your attention to something more positive and productive.

所以與其放大你的痛苦，倒不如將你的注意力放在其他更正面、更有生產價值的事情上面

So, for example, you might want to whip out a piece of paper and start making the most

比方說，你可能會想拿出一張紙，開始羅列一張有史以來

epic gratitude list ever.

最長的感恩清單

Or you might want to throw yourself into a really good exercise class or go watch a fantastic

或者你想讓自己好好運動一番、看一場精采的電影

movie or go help someone do something.

又或是協助他人完成事情

Really, anything that can give your mind something else to focus on.

真的，任何能轉移你注意力的事物都可以

Step number three is use the 20-second rule.

第三招，「運用 20 秒法則」

Okay guys, so this is not a longer version of the three-second rule.

聽好囉，各位，這不是「3 秒法則」的延長版

Hey, how long has that lasagna been on the floor?

嘿，這盤千層麵被灑在地上多久啦？ (譯註：3秒法則指食物掉在地上 3 秒內可以撿起來吃)

Only about 18 seconds, buddy. You go to town.

才過18秒而已，兄弟，盡情享用吧

No. What I'm talking about here is internalizing any positive event by savoring the shizzle

不對，我這裡指的是透過至少 20 秒的時間，仔細回顧正面的事情發生的箇中滋味

out of it for at least 20 seconds. You might be asking yourself, why? Here's the reason.

並且將積極正面內化到心裡頭，你可能會問自己，為什麼要這樣？原因如下

Because the best way to combat negativity bias is to embed as many positive experiences

對抗消極偏見最好的方式，就是盡量多將積極正面的經驗感受

and memories in our brains as possible.

與回憶嵌入我們的大腦

So, for example, let's say your friend sends you this email thanking you for a great weekend together.

舉例來說，當你朋友寄來一封電子郵件，感謝你們一起度過了一個美好的周末

Don't just say, "Wow, that's sweet," and archive it. Don't do that.

不要只是回說「哇，還真不錯」，然後就封存起來了，千萬別那樣

Spend at least 20 seconds soaking in the memories from that weekend.

花個至少 20 秒的時間，將自己沉浸於那個周末的回憶

The goal here is to really cement that positivity in your mind.

這麼做的目的是要真正地將正面思考牢附於你的內心

And if you ever forget about your brain's ancient circuitry, I want you to whip out

要是你忘了自古以來，大腦迴路的作用是什麼，我希望你趕快想起

this tweetable.

這則推特轉發訊息：

"When your brain gives more weight to the negative, remember you have the power to tip the scale."

「當你的大腦比較側重負面的一端時，別忘了你有能力扭轉情勢」

That was my A to your Q, Fred.

以上我針對你的疑問提出的解答，佛萊德

I really do hope it helps. And now I want to hear from you.

我真的希望這能幫助你，現在我想聽聽看你們的意見

So tell me, has negativity bias ever caught you off guard?

說說看，消極偏見是否曾讓你措手不及？

It's certainly caught me off guard. What helps you tame your lizard brain?

我自己倒是陷入了不少次，是什麼方法幫助你馴服你的蜥蜴腦？ (註：lizard brain指大腦中感知危險、產生直覺的部分)

And a little challenge here, I want us to go beyond meditation and beyond EFT.

來一點小小挑戰，希望我們的境界可以超越冥想、超越心理治療

Those are really both valid and important practices, but I would love to see some more variety too.

雖然這兩個都是非常有用、重要的撫慰方式，但我還想聽聽其他的妙招

Now, as always, the best conversations happen after the episode over at the magical land

一如往常，每一集結束後，在MarieForieo.com這個奇幻國度裡

of MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.

都會出現精彩的討論，所以現在就請你到網站上，留下你的想法吧

Once you're there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider.

進入網站之後，別忘了訂閱我們的電子報，並且成為 MF 的一員

You're going to get instant access to an amazing audio training I created called How

接著你就會馬上得到一組由我編製的超讚訓練音檔

To Get Anything You Want, plus you'll get some exclusive content, some special giveaways, and

叫「吸引力法則」，此外，你還能獲取額外的內容、特別的禮物

personal updates from me that, frankly, I don't share anywhere else.

以及我個人的見解交流，這可是只有這裡才有的喔！

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special

繼續闖蕩你的事業，並繼續朝著你的夢想邁進，因為這世界正需要

gift that only you have.

你那獨一無二的天賦

Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time on Marie TV.

非常感謝你的收看，我們下回再於 Marie TV 上相見囉

Have you been thinking about starting your own business?

你是否曾想過自己創業呢？

Is fear, confusion, or overwhelm slowing you down?

害怕、困惑、不知所措的情緒嚴重拖累你的創業步伐嗎？

We can fast track your growth and save you years of expensive trial and error.

我們可以快速追蹤您的營運成長狀況，並且為您省下數年的昂貴試驗及錯誤

Get the guidance you need to make your dream business come to life, guaranteed.

馬上獲取需要的指導方針，讓你的事業從此平步青雲，品質掛保證！

Learn more at StartTheRightBusiness.com.

現在就到 StartTheRightBusiness.com 獲取更多資訊

In the meantime, coffee. You did a great job. We did a great job.

與此同時，來喝個咖啡吧！你做得很棒，我們都做得很棒

We're a good team.

我們合作地天衣無縫

Lasagna nipples, take one.

千層麵畫面拍攝，第一鏡

We're doing it. We're doing it.

在做了，在做了

Had to make it weird, ha ha.

這樣真的好奇怪喔，哈哈