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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love. Now, if youve ever wondered what it takes to be a high performer in your

  • life, today’s guest is going to show you how. Brendon Burchard is a New York Times,

  • Wall Street Journal, Amazon, and USA Today best-selling author and the world’s leading

  • high performance coach. Tens of millions of people have watched his videos and completed

  • his training courses.

  • Brendon is also the star and executive producer of the online YouTube show, The Charged Life,

  • and the podcast of the same name, which debuted at number one on iTunes. His latest book is

  • called High-Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way.

  • Brendon!

  • What?

  • It’s so good to have you here!

  • Thank you. This is so pretty up here. I can’t believe how awesome it is.

  • I know. But this is likethis is fun, because this is actually the second time that

  • youre on the show. But last time we did this, we did Skype-o-rama.

  • Yes. And yours cut out like halfway through.

  • Of course it did.

  • But I loved it because you still aired it, so you had my face there. And I’m at home.

  • I wasn’t sure – I don't think I knew it was a Skype interview. And I had this shirt

  • and it was open like, my hair was like over here.

  • You were great. We had so much fun. I wish you’d told me – I’m gonna block

  • out my face, Brendon. I wouldve been like, “Oh, dude. Block out mine. This is great.”

  • That was called technical difficulties.

  • Yes.

  • Anyway, my point being I’m so happy that were doing this right now.

  • Thank you.

  • First of all, I need to congratulate you. So your sixth book. Right? High Performance

  • Habits.

  • Sixth. Yes.

  • This is a great beast.

  • It’s a beast.

  • But I want to congratulate you because it’s fantastic.

  • Thank you.

  • So talk to me about why. What inspired this book and why now?

  • Uh, yeah. I mean, every one of my books have been completely different. You know, one’s

  • Life’s Golden Tickets, like this parable. It’s a story. The Charge was based on some

  • neuroscience. The last one, Motivation Manifesto, was like philosophy, you know, injected with

  • like warrior-ism.

  • But this one I said, “you know what I want to do is I actually want to empirically test

  • whether what I believe leads to high performance is true or not.” Because I think at some

  • point with our platforms, you know, we can all share what we know from our life experience,

  • and that’s really incredible and it’s valuable. It’s important what we do. And

  • then I have to think we have to at some point say, “but is it true and are there nuances

  • that research would prove out?”

  • And so this became the world’s largest study ever on high performance. Last three years

  • of my life, a full academic teamand all we did is survey, interview, survey, interview,

  • run the data. Survey, interview, survey, interview, run the data. Largest ever not even comparable

  • by over 100,000 people is what we did. And what we teased out was that there’s only

  • six habits that actually empirically can be proven lead to high performance. That’s

  • high performance just means long-term success.

  • Yup. Sustainable.

  • Sustained long-term success, which is huge. But so I’ve been teaching high performance

  • academy for eight, nine years. And the good thing about doing research is there were some

  • things I taught, they were wrong. And there are some things I taught, there was just so

  • much nuance to it, now I can teach it better.

  • And also I think a lot of people want to know in personal development, is any of this provable?

  • I think that’s why positive psychology is so important. And we had researches from University

  • of Pennsylvania helping us with this. So they just want to know is thisis it real?

  • Yeah.

  • And we teased out over 21 different habits, and then we asked, can it be replicable? Meaning

  • are high performers who are doing this, are they just freaking amazing?

  • Yup.

  • Or can you practice that? Then we said is it actually effective across domains, meaning

  • is thiswould this prove out true for an athlete versus an assistant versus, you

  • know, a barista versus the CEO in Fortune 50? Which it did.

  • Then we asked is it something that’s trainable? Like can we empirically prove it canyou

  • can take somebody here over to here in a couple of weeks on this particular item? And we ran

  • all the research and it came down to these six high performers in the book. Or, high

  • performance habits in the book. And I’m super excited about it, because it’s done.

  • It was three years and it nearly killed me.

  • I remember our texts back and forth while you were creating this, but I – you did

  • a phenomenal job. But let’s – I want to tag onto something that you mentioned. It

  • was actually my next question, but it weaves in nicely with what you discovered.

  • I was curious throughout this journey, was there anything that surprised you? And one

  • thing that you mentioned, youre like, “hey. There were some things that I thought were

  • in theyescolumnthat you discovered based on the research are not. So I’m curious

  • if you can tell us a little bit about what surprised you and what

  • It was three years of surprises. I mean, the ah-ha’s I had going through this journey

  • were so great, but it was difficult. You know, it made me – I mean, I was away from family

  • and friends. I didn't get to see you. It’s been – I mean, you mentioned our last interview.

  • I’ve basically been doing research since then. I mean, it’s just been really, really

  • intense.

  • But the learnings kept me going even though I didn't get to see family and friends as

  • much, because I was justevery day was, “Oh, what? Oh, that’s a thing?” And,

  • for example, big ones. Big biases I had that were wrong, and youre not gonna like this

  • one and no one’s going to like it. But creativity is not strongly correlated with high performance.

  • I would havethree years, I would argue. I mean, I wouldve been – I would have

  • passionately argued against it, because I’m a creative.

  • Yeah.

  • This is my life. I write, I train, I speak. That’s what – I wouldve argued forever.

  • I’ve designed all the covers of my books.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, I dork out about design. I design all my webpages. I’m – I believe that

  • creativity must give the edge, and it does give an edge in certain circumstances, for

  • sure. But I interviewed a Fortune 50 CTO, chief technology officer. Unbelievably high-performing

  • people. Their stock is off the roof. And what he said, he goes, “Brendon, I’m not a

  • creative person. My team isn’t particularly creative.” But long-term success matters

  • just as much about execution and consistency and showing up as the creative edge. The creative

  • edge might get you in the game. Because, remember, high performance is long-term success. Were

  • not studying initial success. It’s veryinitial success, you know, grit, creativity,

  • originality. All these things, very important. The spark, the get you in the game, for sure.

  • But even Jim Rohn said, you know, “motivation gets you in the game, habits keep you there.”

  • And creativity as a habitthe spark that might be called original creativity, it might

  • only happen for us every two to three years. So that’s not sufficient. Weve got to

  • show up on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. Execution is more important as an example.

  • So we talk about the kinds of creativity that actually matter, but it’s not strongly correlated

  • almost across all industries. And I would have completely argued with that.

  • Another one, you know, we tend to think – I would have thought the older you get the more

  • likely it is youre a high performer, because wisdom.

  • Yeah.

  • There’s a lot of old, lazy people.

  • Yup.

  • You know?

  • Stuck in their ways. Doing the same thing that theyve been doing day in and day out.

  • Yeah. So I think there's a lot of demographic things I would have – I would have assumed

  • certain countries. We didthis includes research from 195 countries. We wanted this

  • to be global and we wanted the largest one ever. And I wouldve thought certain countries,

  • you know, we all have like, you know, I buy lots of cool Scandinavian furniture. That

  • doesn't quite necessarily mean anything. Right? We make these assumptions about things, and

  • so we dispel a lot of it.

  • And the good news is, all six habits are things everyone can do. Theyre not innate, theyre

  • not likeyoure lucky and born with that.” And everything that we learned that, you know,

  • when people have an excuse they say, well, “I’m too young.” Or they say...

  • “I’m too old.”

  • Or I’m from this demographic, I’m from that town.” None of that matters. And we

  • proved it. We said these are the only things that matter. And that’s what excites me

  • about it is because I can now share these little nuances and people go, “Oh, that’s

  • what matters and that will help me get ahead.”

  • Yeah. And it levels the playing field for all of us. And I feel like that’s one of

  • the other things I really appreciate about the book.

  • You know, you wrote thatachievement is not the problem, alignment is.” Can we talk

  • about that a little bit?

  • Yeah. I wish it was my line. It was one of my clients. She’s – I mean, she manages

  • over 10,000 people. Like, she has 10,000 direct reports. She’s just an unbelievable achiever.

  • And when I started working with her, I mean, just like a lot of people, their struggles

  • aren’t “can I make a goal list and a checklistand, you know, “can I get things done.”

  • Because people get stuff done all the time, but our busy work isn’t always our life’s

  • work.

  • And so you have to learn that we have to find that thing that we can align to. And a lot

  • of people, theyre achieving themselves into the wrong thing. They put the ladder

  • against the wrong building. They just haven’t really figured out what’s important to them.

  • And, most importantly, alignment also includes harmony in your life. Because a lot of people

  • achieve and achieve in their career, and then theyre divorced. People achieve and achieve

  • and achieve, and theyre fat and they didn't take care of themselves, and they know it.

  • And it sounds horrible to say it, but they know it. And so you have to figure out like,

  • okay, how can we align ourselves to something that we really care about?” And not align

  • like sometimes on a Monday or a Tuesday, or not just in our career but really get our

  • relationships, our health, our career all in alignment to help us become in high performing.

  • Because high performing isn’t just achievement for achievement’s sake.

  • Right.

  • What we found in that study is high performers also value well-being more than almost any

  • other demographics that weve ever measured. And you and I know that, but it’s actually

  • the second habit in here is the ability to generate energy. And that’s mental, physical,

  • and emotional energy. And we can talk about the nuances in all of that.

  • Yeah, that’s actually some place I want to go next, but I don't want to cut you off

  • because youre on a train.

  • Yeah. No, that’s it. I mean, it’s so important. And so when we say alignment we don't just

  • mean choosing the right thing. We mean generally creating some kind of harmonious alignment

  • in your life. I don't use, you know, I wouldn’t say that in the book, but that, you know,

  • that’s really what it is.

  • It really is, because, you know, in thinking about how each of us define success, it’s

  • such a unique thing. But those components of health and your family and how you feel

  • every day and the meaningfulness of it, it has to be there.

  • So I say for people watching, if youre in this place where youreyou really

  • feel like youre struggling but youre like, “Damn, I’m working so hard,” I

  • would say what she said to me. You know, “achievement is not the problem, alignment is.” Once

  • we got her aligned, I mean, her life came back. I mean, literally this person felt like

  • their life was a waste, like they had spent 20 years doing something that wasn’t the

  • right thing. And there’s a lot of guilt and shame and frustration there.

  • And but I’m like youre a badass, but she didn't feel right because she wasn’t

  • in alignment. As soon as we got her in alignment, I mean, literally weeks, she changed. I mean,

  • you would have thought she had, you know, some Renaissance of the mind. And it wasn’t

  • that many things. Just sometimes youre actually not off by, you know, 50 feet like

  • you think you are. Youre off by like four or five degrees. And if we can align your

  • relationships, your career, and your health back into the right angle for you, you come

  • back to life.

  • Yeah. It’s huge. One of the distinctions I loved in the book was about emotions and

  • feelings and how you parsed through that. And your framework, and I’ll paraphrase

  • here so feel free to correct, emotions are instinctual. Like they often just appear.

  • Right? Where feelings relate to our interpretation and we can better influence them. I’d love

  • you to talk a little bit about that, because I think it’s a really important distinction,

  • especially as it’s related to energy and this idea of high performance.

  • Yes. One of the major, major keys we found, the first high performing habit, is seek clarity.

  • And what we found is one of the practices that high performers do is they define the

  • feeling theyre after. And so when we had explained that and later talk about in the

  • energy chapter, we had to differentiate between feelings and emotions. And they are different.

  • Emotions tend to betheyre the same.

  • Yeah.

  • Like wetheyre physical, theyre almost always automatic, even though in the

  • brain is creating associations as often happen, for us they just kinda

  • Emotion comes up.

  • Yeah. Youre watching a movie and youre sad. And youre like, “Oh, my gosh,”

  • you know? “I’m crying.” You didn't even have the tissues ready, youre just like

  • you know? But feelings are usually interpretations that we make of what that emotion was and

  • how it sticks and the meaning we give to it. And the example I usedyou know I like

  • to give, and I don't remember if it’s in the book or not, honestly. Because here’s

  • what’s happened, this book is 400 pages. It was 1,481 when I finished.

  • Ooh, baby! You edited down!

  • Yes. And it was 1,481 good. Complete. It was like awesome.

  • Yes.

  • But I was like that’s gonna freak people out. So were publishing a bunch in academic

  • journals later, and I just stripped it down to 400 pages so it’s more readable and fun

  • and learnable. So I can’t remember if this one actually made it in there, but the example

  • I like to give is if you and I go to a haunted house.

  • Yeah. Which I love.

  • I love them. I love them. And they scare me to crap, but if you and I walk around, you

  • know, you walk around the walls in a haunted house, someone jumps out at you. You and I

  • are both gonna jump.

  • Yes. We are emotionally going to experience fright

  • immediately. It’s gonna be there. Right? But I might be freaked out for the next five

  • minutes, and you might be laughing. Why? It’s the meaning and feeling that weve defined

  • it as. That’s fine for everybody.

  • Here’s the issue that people have and you have to be careful about when we start talking

  • about energy, because emotional energy is real. And that is, look, if at 6 – we go

  • to a haunted house at, you know, 5 PM in the afternoon. If at 9 PM now youre in your

  • house, youre alone, but you're completely safe, and you still feel scared, that’s

  • not the haunted house’s problem. That is the way that you are defining and working

  • through your own emotions. You had the emotion of terror and fear and you're still experiencing

  • that feeling? That’s a mental job, not an emotional job.

  • So your job is to go, “Wow, I’m at my house. I’ve lived here for 10 years. I’ve

  • never been threatened in this house. This is a safe place. I’ve got to redefine the

  • feeling I’m gonna experience.” And I work with onean Olympic sprinter, gold medalist

  • Olympic sprinter, as a client. And this person’s huge breakthrough in getting better and going

  • from literally one Olympics before not medaling at all to now gold. I said, “What madelike,

  • what was the thing?”

  • Yeah.

  • And one of the things they said to me was I learned to define the feeling. And I said,

  • What do you mean by that?” And he basically said, you know, “ifif there’s a bunch

  • of us at the starting blocks and were all in perfect poise and perfect condition, the

  • one to bet on is the one that says, ‘This is the way I want to feel in this race right

  • now. I know my emotions are going crazy, like my heart’s beating, I can hear everybody,

  • I’m waiting for that shot blast, I can see my goal. I know how important this isand

  • all theselike their emotions are there. But that person is defining the feeling. ‘I’m

  • going to feel centered now. I’m going to get myself in the zone now.’” Even though

  • the anxiety isthe emotion of anxiety is there for all Olympic-level competitors,

  • all of them. But they define that emotion as a feeling that helps give them a performance

  • edge, and I think that’s important too. You know, Bruce Springsteen says if he’s

  • ever backstage and doesn't feel like nerves, he’s gonna hang it up.

  • Yeah.

  • But that’s anxiety, he’s just defining it differently.

  • Yeah. There’s so much power in that, and I think it’s such a great lesson. That’s

  • why I loved it in the book. It’s like we all have those experiences. You know, sometimes

  • well be shooting MarieTV and I can feellike I’ll tell the crew all the time,

  • you know, when we go on I’m like, “Oh, I’m feeling nervous.” But it isfor

  • me, nervousness, I associate it with excitement. I associate it withwere about to do

  • something amazing.” There’s aliveness, there’s energy, there’s all this great

  • stuff coming through. But I loved that distinction. I never heard anyone quite make it the way

  • that you did, and I really appreciated that because I feel like it gives us a chance to

  • take some of our power back.

  • Yes.

  • Where, hey, the emotion comes up whether it is fear, it’s sadness, it’s anger, but

  • then, okay. What about the long term? How are you going to then help yourself interpret

  • it and then walk back into the world in a way that’s going to allow you to perform

  • at a high level?

  • Yeah. Another related habit, third habit, is to basically raise necessity. It’s a

  • fancy way of saying high performers perform better because they feel like they must do

  • it.

  • Yes.

  • And there’s this interchange between their identity and what they value, believe, and

  • feel are important. And then an external demand for them to do better. And what happens is

  • they saytheir identity says, “I really care about excellence. I have high standards.

  • I want to do a good job here. This is important to me. I love this,” and then it connects

  • with external demand. Need to do a good job. There is a deadline. “I feel a social duty

  • or a spirit or calling.”

  • People are depending on me.

  • Yes, “people are depending on me.” And when those two come together right in the

  • middle, that’s necessity. We would call it performance necessity. It’s like “I

  • need to do a good job here and I’m motivated by that, not scared by that.” It’s a perfect

  • little connection. There’s a whole chapter on it in the book. And what often happens

  • for people is that emotional thing were talking about earlier, like that Olympian.

  • That Olympian, that emotion, that anxiety istheyre using that to raise their

  • necessity to do better. Theyre like “I’m going to use this feeling I have and transform

  • it to do better.”

  • Yes.

  • Even though everyone else would identify that same emotion as I’m scared, theyre gonna

  • saythis feeling is going to make me focus. This feeling that I want to have right now,

  • I’m gonna, you know, put my a-game on.” And it’s so cool, because all the high performers

  • I interviewed, over 300, literally verified high performers. We used objective measures

  • whether they were highest performing in their company or whether they’d filled out the

  • high performance indicator. And we have this assessment now that can basically show these

  • you're probably a high performer if you score in these areas in these six different

  • habits. And interviewed over 300 of them, and every one of them at some point in the

  • interviewand these are structured, academic interviews, so theyre way less fun than

  • this. Sorry for everyone who I interviewed but, boy, it’s just different.

  • And what I found out was every one of them talked about that at some point. Taking what

  • they were experiencing and transforming it into something that gave them performance

  • edge. Whether it’s an artist readying themselves to touch the canvas. Like there’s a thing

  • that says, “I want to be a great artist. I want to do a great job.” And that self

  • talk is leveling up our necessity.

  • Lots of people have amazing strengths, but they don't get off the couch because they

  • don't feel it’s necessary to win, necessary to succeed, necessary to serve. And high performers

  • feel likeit is necessary that I show up today, I do a good job, I help others.”

  • Sometimes some answer it in a spiritual realm. “They say I feel called to do this. I feel

  • it is my mission. I feel God is giving me these gifts, and I don't wanna waste that.”

  • And that for them is a very spiritual, emotional connection toit’s necessary for me to

  • kick some butt, do well, deliver.” Other people, theyve really got to mentally get

  • themselves in that. I’m a little in between. I have to say things to myself before I walk

  • into a situation to make me better. Like before I came through those doors, like you have

  • a bathroom out there, and I went in the bathroom and I do a little self talk to myself. And

  • I bounce in place and I take 10 deep breaths. And I’m talking to myself so that I’m

  • just – I’m ready.

  • Yeah. I thought there’s a great distinction there too. Another little tip from the book

  • that I think is very useful. You found that when you talk to yourself in the third person

  • versus the you, can you explain that a little bit?

  • Yeah. A research study in psychology found out that both second person and third person

  • makes you moremakes yourself talk more powerfully. So if youre gonna do affirmations

  • you wouldn’t just say, “I want to do this. I want to do this.” You want to do what

  • we call in the book self coaching where you would say, you know, in my case, “Brendon.

  • It’s important you do a good job here today because you usually don't do interviews. And

  • you really love Marie and you want to do a good job for her and her people. And this

  • is a book you worked on for three years and it’s important it does well. And, Brendon,

  • don't forget youre so lucky you get to do this, brother. So just enjoy the process.

  • Youre so lucky, Brendon.” That’s a different level of going, “I’m lucky.

  • I’m lucky.” Right? It is.

  • “I’m Brendon. I’m great.”

  • Yes. Another one I do every morning in the shower, assuming I take a shower. But every

  • morning in the shower

  • Because we all don't every day. No we do not.

  • It doesn't happen.

  • It does not happen.

  • I told you like 24 hours ago I was sitting in a bar in the woods at a friend’s house.

  • But the second thing I ask myself in the shower every morning is, “what might happen today

  • that could trip me up? And how are you going to bring your best self to that, Brendon?”

  • I say that every morning in the shower to myself and it just helps me anticipate. You

  • know, something’s gonna go wrong during the day.

  • Absolutely.

  • And if I already knowlike this morning's was, “okay. Youre in I think what we

  • – I’d guess north Manhattan? Where I’m staying, would you call it north?

  • Youre uptown.

  • I’m uptown.

  • And youre coming tolet’s just call it downtown.

  • Okay. So I’m, okay, that’s going to be 45 minutes. It’s a hot, summer day. I’m

  • gonna get hot and I know when I’m hot sometimes I get impatient and I get stressed. And I

  • don't want to feel that. “So just pay attention to how youre feeling on your way down to

  • the interview with Marie, Brendon. And really just engage. Pay attention. Be present with

  • New York and really enjoy that youre here.”

  • I know that sounds completely crazy, but every high-performing athlete does it. Every salesperson

  • does it. I mean at a high level. Every person I interview who are at what we call the top

  • 15% of all high performers, they all self talk. And most of them, we found, were doing

  • it in second and third person. Which is amazing.

  • I love it.

  • Yeah.

  • I think it’s so fun.

  • Yeah. Little things. Yeah. So if you already talk to yourself and you say your name to

  • yourself, youre not crazy. Youre probably high performing.

  • Well, I do talk to myself and I do call myself Marie. So I’m gonna raise my hand and get

  • into that group.

  • I want to talk about another takeaway from the book I think is so practical and that

  • our audience is going to love. And I love this, and weve done this together when

  • you and I hang out. It’s about managing transitions. And when youre moving from

  • one project to the next or youre ending your work day and then youre going back

  • into quote unquote family life or whatever that transition is, I thought you have a really

  • effective way to help people maximize and almost amplify their energy so they don't

  • come away feeling depleted every day. Because I feel like weve both been there. Right?

  • Weve done the way where you are putting out your best and you are absolutely focused

  • and your heart’s in it and your soul’s in it, but then you reach the end of the day

  • and youre like, “I’m done.” Yes.

  • Youre done.

  • So tell me about transitions.

  • Yeah. Transitions takes place in the chapter of generate energy, and alsomaybe it’s

  • in productivity too. And it has thisit’s just this conversation that if youre go,

  • go, go, go, go all the time, youre depleting energy all day and you don't know it. And

  • lots of people think to get more energy or be more productive, they have to radically

  • change their life. “I’d better work out an extra 60 minutes in the morning.”

  • It’s like, actually, let me teach you the mastery of managing transitions. When you

  • go from one activity to another I want to teach you this simple thing, and that is release

  • tension, set intention. Very simple.

  • Let me give an example, because it really helps. If youre doing email and, you know,

  • that takes one part of your psyche and brain to do a lot of email, and now youre going

  • to go create that keynote or that PowerPoint presentation that you want to be flowing and

  • visual and beautiful. Very different things. What most people do is theyll do their

  • email and then theyll work a little on the presentation. And then the notification

  • will go over here and theyll go back to the email, and theyre multitasking.

  • Yes.

  • And theyre wrecking not only their measurable creativity, but their long-term performance.

  • And so what you have to do is when you finish the email, stop it. Okay? Maybe go get some

  • water, come back, or whatevereven if you don't, all I want you to do, push away

  • from your chair for a minute, close your eyes, repeat the wordreleasewith the goal

  • of releasing tension in your body. And repeat the word release to yourself several times

  • over and over like a mantra. Okay? Just repeat. It could be 60 seconds, it can be one minute,

  • it can be two minutes. Whatever you want to do.

  • Just do it until you feel like your body and your mind release a little bit. Then before

  • you open your eyes, set an intention. Say, “okay, Brendon. Youre going to work on

  • this keynote now. Your intention is to make something that grabs them right at the beginning,

  • and then make it really move fast, and make it visual, and make sure that it builds emotionally

  • throughout the thing so when you make a call to action at the end, bam.” And then open

  • my eyes, now work on presentation. I’m clean and free from the previous activity.

  • Yes.

  • And people will feel an unbelievable amount of energetic just power come back from there.

  • I interviewedor, I’ve worked with a major founder in the startup Silicon Valley

  • world flew me down at 3 AM – I guess it was a little after midnight on a private jet.

  • It washe was having a lot of trouble. Just exhausted. Literally depleted.

  • You know, this person is incredibly well valued in his company. Lots of employees, everyone

  • knows who the person would be, but miserable. Just go, go, go, go, go, go. And I said, well

  • and one of his major things was he was wrecking his relationship with his wife and

  • his chidren. Not because he was maybe just overworking. He would just carry a lot of

  • the work into his house.

  • Yup.

  • So what I said, I said “I want you to pull up to your house after the day of working.

  • Don't get out of the car. Pull up to the house, just close your eyes, repeat the mantra release

  • to yourself maybe for five minutes. And then before you open your eyes, set the intention.

  • How do you want to be with your wife when you enter the house? What kind of dad do you

  • want to be to your daughter? Set that intention. Open up your eyes. Now go in as a different

  • man.” And it changed his life. His email to me is in the book.

  • I read it. It’s fantastic.

  • It just works. That means just release tension, set intention. It’s justyour transitions

  • are where most people’s bleeding out their energy, and they don't know. And if we can

  • just get you four or five times of transition really well throughout the day, you finish

  • your day like “I feel amazing.”

  • Yes.

  • And we didn't caffeinate you, we didn't do anything. We just changed how you approach

  • your work.

  • So brilliant. I love it.

  • Thank you.

  • I want to talk now about a really interesting section in the book about anti-practices,

  • some of the problems that come. Because I think one of the challenges in our culture

  • and, you know, you and I I think share a lot of values in this sense. You know, we

  • love to have fun, right, and love to take trips and be with our family and goof around

  • and laugh a lot, but there’s this pervasiveness of like grind, grind, grind, hustle, hustle,

  • hustle. And I know we talked a little bit about that, but one of the things that you

  • wrote in the section about anti-practices about the things that can go wrong is the

  • part aboutbeing satisfied doesn't mean settling.”

  • And I feel like there is this mistaken notion out there that you have to be dissatisfied

  • if youre going to be an achiever, a high performer, if youre going to just want

  • to achieve all that you can in this life. And, again, we share the same philosophy.

  • It’s like, “no. You can absolutely be satisfiedAND

  • Yes. And it’s important that you are.

  • Yes.

  • And we can measurely prove it. High performers are not dissatisfied strivers. They're not.

  • Theyre happy. High performers are happier than their peers. We all believe that to get

  • to the top it’s gonna be lonely at the top, and we all believe you have to grind and kill

  • yourself to get there, and that’s completely wrong. And the data proves that worldwide,

  • which is I think just overcoming a lot of people’s biases about how you work today.

  • Because right now, especially today, you know, grind on social media is so popular.

  • Or hustle.

  • Or hustle. And itby the way, none of the top 15% of high performers worldwide identify

  • with those words. They literally don't. We asked them. We did a whole keyword analysis.

  • This was actually pretty cool. And high performers explicitly saythese are the three driving

  • feelings. If we said there was a high performance state, it’s driven from these three things.

  • Number one, full engagement. Number two, joy.

  • Yes!

  • And number three, confidence.

  • Yes.

  • That’s what they relate with. Okay? That’s where it’s coming from. It’s a joyous

  • journey, not a dissatisfied one. And I had this conversation in the book, because – I

  • kind of maybe frame it this way. Each of these chapters opens with a vignette of somebody

  • I worked with or a situation that I was in that demonstrated high performance.

  • And in this particular situation I’m walking on a stage. Thousands of people after a very

  • famous musician was out there, and was telling the audience that that person’s secret to

  • successremember, thousands of people. Their secret tothat whole speech, their

  • secret to success was never settle. Never settle. Nothing is enough. Never settle and

  • never be satisfied. Never be satisfied. Always demand more. And I’m likeoh. My second

  • slide, which is gonna be on Jumbotrons in like 80 point text wasstrive satisfied.’”

  • I’m like, “oh, I’m gonna have to dispel this for all these thousands of people.”

  • I was totally freaked out.

  • Yeah.

  • Andbut what I had to explain to people was not only the data, but it’s this. If

  • youre never satisfied, I mean, is it true that life is precious? If it’s true that

  • life is precious and you could be gone tomorrow, do you really want to think, “You know what?

  • I just never felt fulfilled. I never allowed myself to have a moment of credit. I never

  • allowed myself to have a moment of peace. I never allowed myself to look at that and

  • say good job.” That’s not the way to live life. I think just at a spiritual level it’s

  • a bad move. And this book doesn't really go into a lot of that. It’s more about the

  • science and the heart stuff.

  • But I think it’s really important that people realize your job is to strive satisfied. And

  • if you strive satisfied more often, you will be more of a high performer. And if you never

  • give yourself credit, youre always beating up on yourself, youre always thinkingthat’s

  • not perfect enough,” then what’s gonna happen? Dissatisfied people burn out and they

  • quit more often than satisfied strivers.

  • So take joy in the moment, engage with what youre doing, allow credit and satisfaction

  • and joy to come in. You can always be improving.

  • Of course.

  • But be provingbe improving joyfully.

  • Yes.

  • And if youre improving joyfully, then youre learning, you feel curious, you feel engaged,

  • the joy is there. Youll get more confident because youre like “I’m going to learn

  • through this anyway. This is gonna be great.” Because, you know, thisthis thing is

  • all over social media right now. Like grind, work, whatever. And I’m like it’s just

  • it’s popular, and I see why that happens, and I see why it’s catchy. It’s just not

  • scientifically valid.

  • Yeah. And it’s not sustainable.

  • Not sustainable. Anyone who's done it, they all hit a wall

  • real fast.

  • And anyone who’s ever been married to that or dated that or engaged with that, youre

  • just like can you just calm down and enjoy it for four seconds?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah know, I think it’s really important right now. People should want to have a high

  • level of joy and happiness in their life. But they cannotthey cannot wait for it.

  • I always say, you know, the power plant doesn't have energy, it generates energy. I mean,

  • technically it transforms energy from one medium to another, and we can do the same

  • thing. You know, you don't have happiness. You have to generate the happiness. You don't

  • have joy. You generate joy. And when you learn to take control of your power and your energy

  • in that way, then life becomes so much more fulfilling and so much more fun. And it doesn't

  • become fake or forced. Because you know what’s fake and forced? This all day.

  • Yeah.

  • That’s not your natural state.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, and here’s how you know. Take a person – I just got back from a big vacation

  • with my lady, and we were down on the beach. Take any person, put them on a beach for a

  • while, and theyre not like grr. Your natural state islike this is beautiful. This is

  • great.” There’s awe, there’s inspiration, there is joy there. Tap back into that and

  • youll be more of a high performer.

  • I love it. Brendon, I’m so happy to have you as a friend and just congratulations again

  • on this and all of your incredible work, and thank you for coming today.

  • Thank you. This is a joy for me to be here with you, so thank you.

  • Now Brendon and I would love to hear from you. We talked about so many good things today,

  • but what’s the one single biggest insight that youre taking away from today’s conversation

  • and, most importantly, how can you put that into action right now? Leave a comment below

  • and let us know.

  • Now, as always, the richest conversations happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,

  • so head on over there and leave a comment now. And once youre there, be sure to subscribe

  • to our email list and become an MF Insider. Youll get instant access to an audio I

  • created called How To Get Anything You Want, plus youll get some exclusive content and

  • special giveaways and some personal updates from me that I just don't share anywhere else.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time

  • on MarieTV.

  • B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training go to JoinBSchool.com.

  • Youll get used to this, Anthony. This is how I roll. Youre like, “Got it!”

  • I’m feeling it!

  • Yes. Haters. Haters, delete, trash.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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    Ken Song posted on 2017/09/21
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