(boss) Do you want one?

(Nick) It's 8:15am.

(boss) It's 18 year old scotch.

If you want a promotion, you gotta earn it.

[gulping loudly]

[coughing]

(Nick) Did I tell you that Harkin tricked me into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?

(Dale) At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

(boss) Let's see if this thing is working...

Whoa, I can make out a little friend right there.

(Dale) Stop it.

(woman) Ooh, shabat shalom, somebody's circumcised.

(Kurt) You know your's doesn't sound that bad.

(boss) We need to trim some of the fat.

(Kurt) What do you mean by "trim the fat"?

(boss) I want you to fire all the fat people. Start with large Marge.

Marge, can you come in here please?

(Kurt) What?

(Dale) I thought he was going to give you a promotion?

(Nick) Yeah, no, ... he is.

(boss) I have decided who I want to be our new Vice President of Sales.

Me.

(Nick, muttering) What did he say?

(boss) Nick, please, we are in the middle of a meeting.

(Nick) Sorry.

(boss) That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem.

(Kurt) You would have to admit, our lives would be a lot easier

if our bosses weren't alive.

(boss) You can fire Professor Xavier.

(Kurt) You mean Hank?

(boss) Creeps me out. Rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.

(Dale) I don't care how bad our bosses are, we're not murders.

(boss) This little sweetheart right here...

(Dale) My fiancee.

(boss)...is going to get a peek at my little photo album.

(Dale) You did all this while I was unconscious?

(boss, whispering) That's my favorite.

(Dale) I'm in! Let's kill this bitch!

(Kurt) We gotta hire a professional. Does anyone here kill people for money?

(M.F. Jones) I'm going to be your murder consultant.

(Jones) If you want to pull off brilliant murder, it's gotta look like it's an accident.

Ow!

(MFJones) You gotta be smart.

(Dale) It's gotta be worth, what, $15,000

I feel like everything's going to work out.

(speaking fast) Look how fast I'm picking out this crap you know.

I'm moving like superfast, I can't even feel my nose.

(Jones) Find them vulnerable.

(Dale) That was a peanut butter sandwich. Are you not good with peanuts?

(Kurt) Whoa. Whoa. Look at this.

(Dale) What about little jabs?. Little jabs?

[man moaning]

(Nick) My boss, that we are trying to kill, is dying in front of you,

and you save his life?

(Dale) Well, that sounds bad when you say it like that.

(Kurt) I was spying on your boss. She's incredibly hot.

(Dale) Don't talk about how hot she is.

(Kurt laughs). She makes herself a little snack.

A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog.

And eating them in that weird order, that's not a proper meal.

(Nick) It's called hot.

(boss) I can crush you anytime I want.

[crashing, yelling]

♪ [Bachman Turner Overdrive - "Takin' Care of Business"]

♪ Takin' care of business, every day ♪

♪ Taking' care of business, every way ♪

(detective #1) Do you want to explain why you were going 61 in a 25 zone?

(Nick) I was drag racing.

(detective #2) In a Prius.

(Nick) I don't win a lot.

♪ We be takin' care of busines, and workin' overtime, workout ♪

[Captions by Captionwire.com]