What's interesting about fear and excuses

is if you reverse-engineer them backward

to the seed of where it's coming from,

it means that a stunning majority of the people

in this audience

are actually tied up

in caring about somebody else's point of view on them

and I'm really fascinated by that.

Fear's holding you back, you know what you wanna do.

The only reason you're not doing it

is 'cause you're scared of doing

what you actually wanna do.

So what are you scared of, failing?

- [Man] Not failing but

still being at the same place when my friends are

at the next level.

Huge mistake.

You don't want the same thing your friends want.

So why (bleep) do you what they have?

Number one mistake so many people make

is they care about what other people have.

I don't (bleep) what anybody has.

If I have more, if i have less, doesn't matter.

I worry about myself.

The fact that you're worrying about

other people's accomplishments is already a losing formula.

You need to get rid of that first

then you could focus on yourself.

I would argue that well more than 50% of the people

in this audience are here today

because they worry about the way they would be judged

by one and or two family members

in their inner seven, eight people circle.

If you're not feeling it, find new friends.

I'm being dead serious about this.

This one is real big for me.

Who you hang out with is a huge deal

and again, these are all tried and true things, right?

We've heard the,

you're the whatever of the five friends you spend like,

that's real.

Add one new winner friend.

Like you know what I mean?

Add one new winner friend and cut one loser friend.

Like yeah I know he's been your boy since fourth grade

but he sits at home and smokes weed and plays 2K all day.

Like, you can only love 'em so much.

And to me, that is the most fascinating thing

that's happening as I'm going through my journey

which is, "Oh."

The reason I

am capable and have the luxury of standing up here

is that my parents parented me in a way

that gave me so much self-esteem while respect.

When I was nine years old and opened the door

for an elderly woman at a McDonald's,

she reacted as if I won the Nobel Peace Prize.

What my mom did was super smart.

She overreacted on everything that I was doing

that was a good human trait.

My mom built huge self-esteem in me

and I feel like the biggest reason

I am who I am today to everybody

is 'cause I feel so guilty and so grateful

for what she did for me

that I wanna do it for everybody else.

Which is guess what?

You suck at a ton of (bleep)

Good, so does everybody else.

You're also probably pretty (bleep) rad at something.

Try as many things as possible

until you figure out what you're rad at and you like,

and go (bleep) do that for the rest of your life

and stop giving a (bleep) about everybody else.

There's this an incredible,

you know, like kind of access point of like

what you're great at and what you love.

When you stumble into being somebody like me,

you really win.

When what you're naturally great at

is what you naturally love the most

and away you go.

And so I think what you need to do is taste everything.

It's kind of like food.

You don't know what your favorite food is if

you only eat one food.

So I would take advantage of your youth

and your flexibility at this kind of age

and try to taste everything, play with everything,

figure out what you might be good at,

what you might like and then you make a decision.

It's a very fine balance.

I don't stand up here not giving a (bleep)

about what people think about me.

It's just that,

I care just a little more about

what I think about myself than everybody else combined.

And I just think a lot of people are crippled by

going on the offense because we are sold defense.

We are sold defense.

We just are.

Offense is always the best defense.

Offense always solves problems

as long as your defense is not a complete disaster.

So I just think offense is a very good mentality.

There is a trigger mindset.

I'm always trying to stay on offense.

Same (bleep) I always say.

Same (bleep) I hear from everybody who wins.

You know, I think the fear of losing trumps

the excitement of victory for so many people.

I think people are so scared.

Nobody wants the rejection.

Nobody wants to lose.

So, I understand the philosophy.

I understand that string of DNA

that doesn't wanna make you lose.

But I'm so desperate to figure out

how to convince people that

there is no loss in going for it.

That, yeah you might get made fun of

and you might have it in your own mind but

trying to figure out how to make people

drop that fear of going and building

a business for themselves in 2012.

Trying to figure out how to make a video

or a give a talk or send a tweet

or

write a book.

Just something that makes people understand that

executing the way it always is

is gonna lead you to a place

where you're not going to win.

Life's funny bro.

And I think that a lot of people

are sitting here for another reason in those two.

Fear, judgment of others.

This one I'm obsessed with if you're following me

and I just think most of you lack patience.

I tell these 23 year olds, 26 year olds all the time

to be patient because they should.

How old are you?

- 44.

- I'm 40.

Do you know how young we feel?

It's,

when you were 26, did you ever think

that this is what 44 felt like?

- No.

- You thought that that was finished.

- Yeah.

Like, you think of 40 year olds,

when I was 25 years old,

I thought a 40 year old was finished.

I don't even feel like I'm starting.

It's a balance of regret and patience.

Like you can go hard on for three years,

do nothing right, wake up and be young (bleep)

You should really go to a retirement home one day

and volunteer and just talk to them.

It will make you wanna use (bleep) every minute of your life

because when you see regret in a man's eyes,

it's (bleep) painful

because you can't do (bleep) about it.

When you're 90 and you're not mobile

and you're tired and it's over,

you can't do any, you can't do it.

You can't build that company you wanted.

You can't spend that time with your kid.

It's regret.

And that (bleep) drives the (bleep) out of me.

I think that patience

has been the disproportionate component of my success.

- So what should we do, Gary Vee?

Let's wrap this up.

What should we do?

What should people do?

- People should stop complaining.

- Right, good call.

People should figure out who the (bleep) they are.

- Good call.

- People should not listen to America propaganda

of fixing the (bleep) they suck at.

They should be tripling down at what they're good at.

They should be competent in certain areas

but you're not gonna become Beyonce

or you know, like your bone structure is a certain way.

Like you're not gonna solve everything.

Your IQ can get a little bit better

but don't worry about the incremental.

Figure out what puts you on fire

and you're halfway decent at.

If you're lucky enough right now to be listening

and you're good at what you like,

become tunnel (bleep) vision.

Because there's way too many voices

telling you what and how and here's the other thing

and this is the big one, Joe.

Have the conversation

with the person that's holding you back.

The reason most people who are listening right now

are not doing that thing,

is they're worried about the opinion of somebody.

Usually, their mother.

Usually, their father.

And the reality is, is that your spouse

may be the person holding you back

and you have to have that conversation.

- Cut 'em off.

- We have to get to a place where you're doing you

because the number one thing

that scares the (bleep) out of me is regret.

And you're gonna sit there at 72

and you're gonna say, I wish, I wish, I wish

and whether that's money

or spend more time with your family,

there's a million ways to do this.

Not everybody wants to buy the Jets.

Not everybody wants to smoke weed on the beach in Bahamas.

Like, everybody's got a different (bleep) thing.

Figure out what your (bleep) thing is

and stop making (bleep) bull(bleep) excuses.

Who the president is, your mom did this,

like, like, I missed it,

I had that idea for Uber.

Then why didn't you (bleep) do it?

There's a reason that guys and gals like me

continue to have audiences

because people wanna be motivated to go and do things

or they wanna learn tactics to go and do things.

But whether I'm giving you tactical advice

like filters on Snapchat or Facebook Ads

or Instagram story collaborations

or I'm motivating you through my words,

because I communicate that way,

or through my actions,

seeing this wake up at five.

If everybody who's watching this

actually did something about it,

and then went on the course of their version of it,

then they wouldn't be watching this.

And I genuinely know at the bottom of my heart,

out of all the people that wanna build audiences,

that I'm the complete opposite of almost all of them

because 99% of people that produce content like this

that are out there like I am,

the business of being that is what they are.

I have businesses.

I have Wine Library and VaynerMedia.

I don't need your 14 bucks for my book

or to be in my course or this and that.

So I don't need to monetize you.

So I then genuinely want you

to never watch me again.

The problem is every time you guys are posting,

do you know how many times I see on my,

on my Instagram, oh I needed this today?