(Bad Matpat!)

Urk. *cough* Stuck in my throat! S-stuck in my throat! (I warned you!)

[Super Awesome Game Theory Intro]

H-Hello Internet! *coughs intensely*

Welcome to Game Theory!

Providing you with your weekly serving of free range

organic brain food since 2011. Now in case

the title, thumbnail, and opening gag didn't give it away

today we're going to be discussing the playful pink puffball from planet Pop Star

the Warp Star Warrior,

the Dynamic Dreamlander, Kirby. For anyone

that's unfamiliar with the series, and let's face it, if you don't know

who Kirby is at this point then you're going PRETTY far out of your way

to avoid it. The Kirby franchise started back in 1992

with the initial entry Kirby's Dream Land and has since

launched over two dozen games, selling over 35 million

copies, which is more than double Metroid sales and triple Star Fox.

And here's the Internet wondering why Nintendo's so slow to release more Samus games.

Why create a sprawling space opera when all you gotta do to sell some games is

give a pink blob the superpower of friendship? I mean, look at that!

He's holding an umbrella to stop the water! AWWWWW

IT'S SO CUTE! TAKE MY MONEY NINTENDO!

I LOVE Kirby games. I LOVE Kirby games.

Which may come as a bit of a surprise considering that this is the first

dedicated Kirby theory since the Yarn Bombing episode

and that one didn't have anything to do with it.

If you're new to this channel or missed that one or just want Cringemas

to come early, watch that one. Click the i icon in the upper right hand corner

of the screen. You will be... I don't know. Good luck. You will be... Mildly entertained...

and confused why people still think the early days of Game Theory were better...

ANYWAY, the holiday season always makes me think of Kirby

Kirby Super Star was my all-time favorite birthday present growing up.

My birthday's in November so I associate it with the holiday season,

and two-player Epic Yarn around Christmas was the way Steph and I celebrated

getting engaged when it was too cold outside in New York to do really anything else (Awww :D)

So, I wanted to take some time today to look at Kirby, and I mean REALLY look at Kirby.

Because what the heck is he supposed to be? Sonic is a hedgehog, Crash is a bandicoot,

Mario is a homo-nintendonus, which is a WHOLE other episode. But Kirby is a-

What? Pop Starian? What exactly does that mean?

We know that this is a universe with Earth on it. Post-apocalyptic frozen over Earth, but Earth nonetheless,

so it can't be too far outside the realm of our own biology.

So I took to the Internet, scouring the pages of the web for information. Clues, anything that would help me scratch this itch,

but to no avail. No one knows!

Even Masahiro Sakurai, the creator of Kirby,

claims to not know what his own creation is. Well, all of that ends TODAY.

What exactly is Kirby, you ask? Well, loyal Theorists

brace yourself for this one cause I think I've solved it.

Kirby is a single celled organism known most commonly as an amoeba.

So grab yourself a hyperactive lolly pop and hop aboard your warp star,

cause it's long past time I tackle the science behind this sucker.

Kirby's body is a strange one for sure,

but it does have consistent behaviors throughout the series.

For one, we know his body is elastic. Notice here

that the force of him hitting the ground causes his body to shift to the side of impact

then bounce back to normal.

It's a lot like a water balloon bouncing off the floor when it's dropped.

When he runs, we clearly see that the force of the wind against his face deforms him a bit, too.

These details about his movements suggest that Kirby doesn't have a solid internal structural system

and instead is just a giant ball of fluid. But, we don't just have to guess that we can actually

scientifically prove it! With an X-ray of Kirby.

You might call it (cringy pun alert) Kirby's Inside Story!

*softly* Different franchise, that was just wrong and stupid, Matpat.

But you may be asking me right now, how do you get an X-ray of a fictional character?

Easy! The original Smash Brothers. Yeah, of all places.

In this game, and only in this game, when characters are electrocuted by Pikachu,

you can see all of their skeletons. Hey, uh, Captain Falcon

looks like you might be missing a rib or two there.

Uh, Star Fox I'm a bit concerned that your tail is literally ONE GIANT BONE!

But across the twelve characters in the game, three show themselves as not having a skeleton.

Can you guess which three?

I'll wait! But not too long, because you literally have a pause button and you can just pause and think about it.

Kirby is obviously one because we wouldn't be talking about this if he did.

Jigglypuff is another fairly obvious example. What you can see here for both of them

they clearly have no bones inside of them when compared to their bone-bearing opponents.

And the third character, the one you might not have guessed. Fun fact, is actually Samus,

who doesn't reveal her skeleton, but rather her real body hidden inside of her space suit.

Cool details, right? Now let's look at Kirby's... arm hands?

Hand arms? Let's just call them nubblies, Kirby's nubblies.

Kirby's been shown holding objects like hammers, whips, and swords,

but in every single instance he's holding something

he never ever sprouts fingers from his pink, stretchy, fleshy nubblies.

Instead, it's almost like whatever he holds just sticks to him.

But Kirby isn't just some sticky ball.

He's making a choice to stick his nubblies onto these objects.

Otherwise, anything he smacked, bumped, or ran into

would stick to him. And I think it would be a VERY different game at that point.

In fact, I know what game it would be at that point-

it's a Katamari game. Katamari Kirby! Kirby-mari epic crossover!

No need to pay me for the brilliant game idea, Nintendo, just send me more of that Super Mario Odyssey cereal.

As if I didn't collect enough moons in that game.

Moving further up on the nubblie (or is it nubbly for singular?) we see what's happening between his arm and his body.

And it's... kinda weird.

Take a look at Kirby Return to Dream Land. In his running animations,

Kirby just slides his hands up above his head, as if his nubblies are just rolling around on the surface of his body.

They're not in one fixed position like how our arms are attached at our shoulders.

But, rather the nubblies are able to shift where on his body they're springing out on

depending on the way that he's using them.

This is also found in Kirby's Mass Attack and in Triple Deluxe

when he's floating, jumping, using the whip - oh and to make things even more interesting,

his swimming animation in Return to Dream Land shows his arms forming on top of his face

and then sliding down his sides. All the while, his body maintains the same spherical shape.

This would be like having your arms sprout out of your forehead so you could reach the

last Diet Coke on the top shelf, and then being able to slide all the way down to

your legs to reach the double stuffed Oreos you tucked away in the bottom of the pantry.

You know, the places you've hidden all the unhealthy food that you're trying to stay away from

but HAHA my nubblie arms have beaten this fool proof healthy eating plan.

And, uh, can you guys tell I'm trying to get healthy?

It's clearly not working. (Stay strong, Matpat)

While we're examining Kirby's behavior in the water, there are two other things

to note here. One, he keeps the same shape even when inhaling,

and two, even though he can float by inhaling a bunch of air on the land,

he actually sinks underwater.

Now you might be asking yourself at this point, "Hey Matpat,

all of these things seem really pointless.

How does all of this prove that Kirby is an amoeba?"

Well, once I start explaining to you the defining characteristics of

an amoeba, it's all gonna start making a lot of sense.

As I slipped past you earlier in the thesis statement to this video,

amoebas are single celled organisms, meaning they're made up of one cell,

as opposed to us, who are made up of billions of different cells.

They're also Eukaryotic, which means they have a nucleus that tells the cell what to be, what to do, and how to do it.

It's like the brain of a cell. Additionally, the life of an amoeba pretty much consists of

moving around in a constant search for something to eat.

Starting to make a few connections?

Well, how about we piece this thing together?

Kirby's water balloon-like body told us that he had to be filled with some sort of liquid

allowing him to maintain structure while still causing the deformations of his body

that we saw when running and falling. Conveniently enough,

amoebas are filled with a fluid called cytoplasm,

which allows them to maintain some level of structure while still giving them

enough elasticity to change their shape.

Amoebas move around and grab things using stretchy appendages called pseudopods -

Greek for false foot - that can form anywhere on their bodies.

Basically, a lot of cytoplasm moves to a certain part of the cell, pushes out against the cell's membrane,

and BOOM new appendage filled with fluid made from just a bunch of stretched out outer casing.

Much like Kirby's little nubblies.

If Kirby were indeed a form of amoeba,

it would explain how he's able to form arms above,

behind, or even in his face

and still move his body without the use of a skeletal or muscular system!

It would also explain his ability to selectively grab things that he wants from the environment around him.

The science is a bit too complicated to get into right now, but basically

amoeba have selectively permeable membranes, so certain things can

pass through the cell, and other things just can't. So likewise,

Kirby could selectively choose to grab things with his nubblies, or

just let them be neutral and stay outside his membrane at all times.

Don't worry, if having an arm coming out of your face wasn't exciting enough, there's even more benefits

to the wonderful world of forming false feet all over your body.

In multiple Kirby games, including Kirby Super Star, Return to Dream Land, and Kirby Triple Deluxe

Kirby has himself a guard ability. If you look at Kirby during this guard,

he's just throwing up his arm and assumes a defensive stance.

But, how can he guard like this if he's just a big squishy water balloon ball?

Well, the amoeba theory has an answer for that, too.

When placed in extreme situations, amoebas are able to form cysts.

Basically, like a thick layer of skin that hardens in order to protect themselves.

Since he isn't shown using a shield or some other form of protection,

just his little ole nubblie, this has to be the only logical explanation for this ability.

Otherwise, he'd just be getting his soft little nubblies cut off.

And nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to loose themselves a nubblie.

Still not convinced? Well, the amoeba theory accounts for yet another oft overlooked Kirby skill -

division. In most Kirby games, but notably Kirby Mass Attack,

he's shown being split into pieces

with each piece still able to function, not as a hive

mind, but rather as separate individuals.

Each Kirby is able to operate on its own and without the use of something giving it orders.

So, how would this work if he were indeed an amoeba?

Well, as an amoeba he only has one nucleus, which means

that this would only work if a fragment of that nucleus happened to be in apart that got itself cut off.

But, what are the odds of that? Have I written myself into a corner? Have I disproven my own theory?

Have I written too many rhetorical questions? (Four is a lot)

No, of course not. I'm adding all this in for dramatic effect.

Are you sufficiently dramatized? Have I delayed this long enough? (Get on with it, Matpat!)

Was this a terrible meta moment for me to put in in the first place?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES!

Here's the big reveal:

Generally, amoebas are microscopic. But there are some

that are shockingly large!

A xenophyophore is a deep water amoeba that can grow up to 20cm

That is EIGHT inches in diameter. Stop and think about that. That is the length of a fork!

For one cell. One. Cell.

That is enormous! If you were to fill that one cell using a typical human cell,

it would take one hundred billion cells!

And if you're thinking that's impossible for one cell with one nucleus to be that massive,

well, you wouldn't be completely wrong. Where the typical Eukaryotic cell

has one nucleus that does one job

this bad boy has thousands, which would

completely negate any need for precision

when it comes to Kirby's multiplication. Or should I say,

Kirby's cellular division. Kirby can get cut into as many pieces as he has nuclei for,

and he'd still be able to regenerate without breaking a sweat.

But, here's the kicker, the biggest twist of them all! Remember how I said that these things grow up to be

about eight inches in diameter? Well, according to Nintendo of Japan and Super Smash Brothers,