I'm Rebekah.

我是 Rebekah

My name is Jamie Bruesehoff,

我是 Jamie Bruesehoff

and I'm married, we have three children: they're 10, 8 and almost 3 years old. So,

我已婚，我們有三個小孩：他們各自是十歲、八歲和快要三歲

I write a blog called 'I'm totally that mom'. In the past few years, my blog has

我創了一個部落格叫做「我完全就是那位母親」過去幾年來，我的部落格

really become more focused on our journey with a transgender child. So, Rebekah has

變得更專注於我們與跨性別孩子的成長歷程

always been gender non-conforming. As young as two or three, she gravitated to typically

而 Rebekah 一直以來都是個非常規性別者，大概在只有 2、3 歲時，她開始趨向喜歡典型的

feminine things. She loved pink and sparkles and all things girly and that was fine with us.

女性的東西。她愛粉色的、亮晶晶的，還有各種小女生喜歡的東西，這對我們來說完全不是問題

This is a soft blanket that I have,

這是我以前的毯子

and it says Benjamin on it. So, we put it with my Benjamin box.

上面寫著 Benjamin，所以我把它放進我的 Benjamin 箱子

As her gender non-conformity

隨著她非常規性別的特徵愈加強烈

intensified, we started to notice some distress around things like being grouped with boys

我們開始發現她會因為在學校或活動時被跟男生分成一組而痛苦

at school or in activities. So, by the time she was seven, all of this kind of hit a crises

所以，直到她七歲時，這一切到了一個臨界點

point and her anxiety was crippling, and her depression was becoming life threatening,

她的焦慮癱瘓了她，抑鬱開始威脅她的性命

and we were at a loss.

而我們不知所措

There is a picture of me. I don't look so happy.

這是我的照片，我看起來不太快樂

We were faced with a 7-year-old kid, who wanted to die.

我們面對一個才七歲卻想尋死的孩子

One time she punched out the screen in her second story window

有一次她打破她二樓房間的窗戶

and tried to jump out.

然後試著要跳下去

The hardest part of all this was

這一切最難的時刻在於

when I didn't transition and I was not happy and it didn't feel right.

我還沒轉換性別、我還不快樂、還覺得一切都不對勁的時候

So, we sought the support

所以，我們向外尋求了

of a gender specialist and so through conversations there, Rebekah came to tell us, 'No, this

一個性別專家的協助，透過與他的對話後，Rebekah 來告訴我們說：

is definitely me. I'm a girl. I'm a girl in my head, in my heart.'

「這個絕對就是我，我是個女孩，我的腦袋裡、我的心裡就是個女孩」

I felt like I was a girl because

我覺得自己是個女孩因為

I liked the colour pink and I liked girls clothes and how they wear their hair and stuff.

我喜歡粉紅色、我喜歡女孩的衣服還有她們整理頭髮和打扮自己的方式

At the time, it was the

那個時候，是我看過

happiest I'd ever seen her, frolicking through the girls section of the clothing store, picking

她最快樂的時刻，在服飾店的女童區嬉戲

out clothes and seeing what she liked. She was just a different kid. It was like a cloud lifted.

挑選衣服、看她喜歡的東西。她整個人像變了一個孩子一樣，一切豁然開朗

It feels good to have like a sister instead of a brother,

比起哥哥，有個姐姐的感覺很好

since I already have a baby brother and I think a big brother

因為我已經有個弟弟了，所以如果是哥哥的話

would just be too much for me.

對我來說有點太多了

When I see pictures of Ben, I just

當我看到 Ben 的照片時

think of it as part of my past and now I'm me.

我就會把他當作我的過去的一部份，而現在我就是我

When she told me I didn't believe

她告訴我的時候我還不相信她

her. I was shocked. I was like: 'I don't believe you, that is not true'.

我嚇了一跳，我說：「我不相信你，那不是真的」

Rebekah really doesn't like thinking about the medical side of this.

Rebekah 真的不喜歡思考醫療方面的事情

She doesn't want to develop into a man.

她不想長成一個男人

So, medically transitioning involves a lot of different steps. And every transgender

醫療方面的性別轉換包含了很多不同的步驟，而每位跨性別者

person chooses their own adventure. For Rebekah, the first steps will be puberty blockers,

選擇他們自己的冒險。對 Rebekah 來說，第一步是注射賀爾蒙抑制劑

which will pause puberty and prevent her from going through male puberty and developing

這會暫停青春期並防止她經歷男性的青春期

secondary male characteristics like facial hair and a deeper voice and an Adam's apple

和發展出諸如鬍子、低嗓音和喉結等不可逆的第二性徵

that are irreversible. The next step would be cross hormones. So, Rebekah is a natal

下一步則是跨性荷爾蒙。因為 Rebekah 是生理男性

male and so she would take oestrogen to develop and go through female puberty. As far as surgery,

所以她會服用雌性激素來發展、經歷女性的青春期

she hasn't indicated a desire for that, but that is a decision she gets to make down

目前她還沒有表達對於那個療程的慾望，但那是她未來路上必須要下的決定

the road anyway. That's not something she would do before she is 18.

但那是她在 18 歲之後才要做的事情

I'm always worried about the reaction with Rebekah,

我一直很擔心他人對 Rebekah 的反應

both in the community and the church, and the world.

不管是社區、教會或是世界

I'm very worried about how the world's going to treat her, because I see lot of ugliness

我非常擔心這個世界會怎麼對待她，因為我在這個世界上

in the world on a regular basis.

經常性地看見很多的醜陋

So, this is a picture I put up on my blog Facebook page

這是我在我的臉書專頁上上傳的一張照片

that went pretty crazy viral. It started out with some

它被瘋狂轉載，一開始時

really wonderful comments and lots of affirmation. But if I keep scrolling here, so I've got

有很多美好的回覆和很多的肯定，但如果我一直滑下去

this one: "This is embarrassing... first she is what? 10, I think I read K . At 10

這句是這麼說的：「這好尷尬... 首先，她幾歲？10，我是看了什麼？才 10 歲

she isn't mature enough to make this decision. This decision was forced on her by her parents.

她根本還不到成熟到可以下決定的年紀，這個決定是由她父母逼迫她的

This is a form of abuse not recognised. Parents forming their child into a social media spotlight

這是虐待兒童一種型式而且沒人發現。父母把孩子形塑成社群媒體的焦點

seeking their 15 minutes of fame. I do honour her courage to stand in front of people and

追求他們那 15 分鐘的名聲。我的確佩服她能站出人群以及

speak what she feels due to the forced dialogue of her parents. This whole transgender issue

發表那些被父母逼迫的言論的勇氣。這整個跨性別的議題

is a mental illness. But it's "cool" because you have parents forcing their kids

是精神疾病。但這很『酷』因為竟然會有父母逼迫自己的孩子做這件事。」

into it.' We haven't had anyone in our community, in our families say that we're

在我們的社區裡、家族裡沒有人認為是我們逼迫她

pushing this onto her. We have had that through social media and through my blog and that

我們在社群媒體上、在我的部落格和各種類似的平台上

kind of thing, who go as far as to say this is child abuse, and we should have our children

都有這樣的言論，都有人會說我們虐待兒童，說我們的孩子應該被安置

taken away, and that we're sick, and we need mental help, and everything else. And

說我們有病、需要精神治療，跟各種的言論

luckily, every major medical organisation says otherwise, and every medical professional

不過幸運地，所有主要的醫療機構都不這麼認為，所有我們看過的醫療專業人士都不這麼認為

we've seen says otherwise, and so we feel pretty confident that we have the best resources

所以我們非常有信心我們有最好的資源

we can and we've supported her the best way we can and that we've gotten the support

我們可以並且已經給了我們所能給她的最好的支持，而作為父母

we needed as parents.

我們也有所需要的支持

Our hopes for Rebekah's future

我們對 Rebekah 未來的期望是

are that she gets to be who she is, as boldly as she wants to be.

她能夠做自己，想多大膽就多大膽地做自己

And that, you know, folks are going to accept her for who she is and I guess at some point

而家族的人也會接受她原本的樣子，而我猜某種程度上

that being transgender is something that she can advocate for, but isn't going to be

作為一個跨性別者是她可以提倡的事情，但這並不會

a limit for her in terms of who she is and who she wants to be as an adult.

限制她不論是她本身的樣子或是她成年後想變成的樣子

I want to make a difference in the

我想改變這個世界

world by speaking out and spreading hopeful messages.

透過大聲地宣告、散布這些充滿希望的訊息

'Hi, my name is Rebekah, I'm a transgender girl. I've been living as myself since I was 8 years old and now I'm 10.'

「嗨，我是 Rebekah，我是一個跨性別者，我從 8 歲開始以自己的身分活著，而現在我 10 歲了」

This is who I am. My friends don't

這就是我，我的朋友甚至不相信我

even believe me when I tell them that I'm transgender. I'm just a girl.

當我告訴他們我是跨性別者時。我只是個女孩

I want to send the message of 'you're not alone'

我想將「你並不孤單」以及

and 'you're safe' to other transgender kids.

「你很安全」的訊息告訴其他的跨性別孩子