Sparks get me going!

I saw...

raw,

untamed power!

And beyond that,

something...

truly special.

So... raw, untamed power isn't special?

Meh!

I see it everywhere these days -

it's played out!

Porg sausage for tea?

This didn't come with a hand attached by any chance?

The "Terminator" here chafes like a son-of-a-bitch.

Something... inside me has always been there.

Can't say the Jedi temple library offers a broad selection.

But now it's awake.

And I need help.

Nothing's jumped out of an egg and face-hugged you, has it?

A for effort, Z for results.

You didn't even touch the rock that time!

I'm sorry, Master. I'm trying.

There is no try!

There's do and there's epic suckage.

Guess what camp you fall into.

You break it, you bought it.

Master, the pebbles!

"Pebbles"? Try lifting an X-wing.

I've seen this raw strength only once before.

In a mosquito!

R2, I left you in charge and now I notice the school's on fire.

Something you wanna confess?

What's the largest thing you've ever lifted, master?

I Force-benched a good fifty kilos in my prime.

How much does the Millennium Falcon weigh?

It's not a competition, Rey!

It does look like a duck.

Kill the past if you have to.

It's the only way to become what you were meant to be.

A self-made orphan.

I can't do it!

Fire.

Wha-???

That's for Han, you little emo bastard.

Now clean up that debris!

I resent that, Shewba-ca!

I was not put into this film to sell toys to children.

I-- Wait!

What's this on the console?

"Tickle-Me Porg"!

Oh and look - it comes in pink!

These don't belong here!

But I sure hope my parents buy me something like this for Christmas.

I should probably...

GO ASK THEM!!!

We are the flint that'll strike the spark

that'll ignite the tinder that'll start the fire

that'll burn part-way through a detachment of the First Order.

Is it even worth it?

Not at all.

Shamone!

I'm going to seriously mess you up for throwing me in that trash compactor.

You see this?

I'm still finding things.

This is not going to go...

Come on, guys!

Don't be afraid of me cos I'm different!

...the way you think!

I think the bad guys will win this round,

but good will ultimately triumph by the end of the third movie.

OK then, it's going to go exactly

THE WAY YOU THINK!

Did you find my contact lens?

Not yet.

Well until you do,

you'll never be a Jedi.

Fulfil...

your...

Hello, Empire Accident Assist?

The planet that bleeds.

Yes, I'll hold.

Destiny...

Oh, Snoke!

You are absolutely amazing at giving a full-body Force massage.

You do know I'm trying to kill you, right?

Well, whatever you're doing,

don't stop!

I need someone...

to show me my place in all this.

Once you've had Dark Side,

you won't go back.

I don't believe it!

Another one of my students turning to the Dark Side.

You are expelled, young lady!

Don't even think about returning to my island paradise next semester!

Yo, Uncle.

I'm working something here.

Quit Force-blocking me, man!

I don't understand it.

I followed the curriculum to a T!

What am I doing wrong?

Do you want the long answer?

Or the short one?

Oh, not you guys.

Where's my dad?

He couldn't decide which actor to come as.

Ok look, I haven't turned all the way -

I'm at, like, ninety degrees or so.

Some days I'm Light, some days I'm Dark.

I'm not just one thing, master.

I'm a multi-faceted individual with many sides and many shades.

Ooh, that's Dark Side talk.

- You got that right. - Mmmmm.

It's time for the Jedi...

to end.

Master?

Look, I know there's a ledge there.

I've seen it from the outside.

Rey, I'm too scared to jump and I'm too embarrassed to come back inside while you're standing there, so...

Oh.

I'll just...

step out then, shall I?

Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

Thanks.

[LUKE] OK, Rey. Clue me in.

What is so gosh-darn appealing about the Dark Side?

[REY] Well you do get to wear a lot of black, which is always flattering.

I don't know if you've seen me in black, but damn!

[LUKE] OK, yes.

I too look amazing in black.

But is that all there is?

[REY] You don't have to control your temper.

It's good to let of a bit of steam every now and then.

[LUKE] Well there's nothing unhealthy about burying one's anger, deep...

down...

insiiiiiiide!!

[REY] And there's always something to do when you're on the Dark Side.

Always lots of things going on - lots of people around.

You really feel like you're part of a well-structured community.

Whereas Jedi life...

No offense, but what have you been doing on this island all by yourself?

[LUKE] Farming porgs, mainly.

I'm a bit of an amateur porg shepherd.

A scruffy-looking porg herder, if you will.

Aw, they're fascinating creatures.

I study them as well,

like Charles Darwin and the Galapagos finches.

Sometimes I stay up all night watching hours of porg.

Mostly soft-core.

[REY] Don't take this the wrong way, Master, but you don't exactly live up to the hype.

It's been a mite underwhelming.

[LUKE] You only say that cos you've never seen a porgy up close.

That's what they call a group of porgs - a porgy of porgs.

You know what they call a baby porg?

A porgasm.

[REY] That's it. I've turned full-180 Dark Side now.