Subtitles section Play video
One of the most important principles for choosing a lover sensibly is not to feel in any hurry to make a choice.
要明智地選擇情人,最重要的原則之一就是不要因為感到著急而做出抉擇。
Being satisfied with being single is a precondition of satisfactory coupledom.
滿足於單身是滿足夫妻生活的前提。
We cannot choose wisely when remaining single feels unbearable.
當單身令人無法忍受時,我們無法明智地做選擇。
We have to be utterly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to have any chance of forming a good relationship, or we'll love no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us being so.
為了有機會能夠形成一段良好的關係,我們必須完全地和孤身多年的可能性和平相處,否則我們對「不再單身」之喜愛會更甚於那個讓我們脫離單身的伴侶。
Unfortunately, after a certain age, society makes singlehood feel dangerously unpleasant.
不幸的是,到了一定的年紀後,社會會讓單身變得極度地令人不愉快。
Communal life starts to wither.
集體生活開始逐漸消失。
People in couples are too threatened by the independence of the single to invite them around very often in case they're reminded of something they might have missed.
伴侶雙方因為感受到單身人士的獨立自主性的威脅,而不常邀請他們,以防他們提醒自己也許錯過了某些東西。
Friendship and sex are, despite all the gadgets, still remarkably hard to come by.
儘管有許多工具,友誼和性愛仍舊非常難得。
No wonder if when someone slightly decent, but not quite so, comes along, we cling to them to our eventual, enormous cost.
難怪只要某人稍微體面一點,但不過就是個普通的對象出現時,我們便會不計一切代價抓緊他們直到最後。
When sex was only available within marriage, people recognized that this would lead some people to marry for the wrong reasons --- to obtain something that was artificially restricted in society as a whole.
當性愛只能夠存在於婚姻關係中,人們意識到這將會導致有些人為了錯誤的理由結婚—以獲得在整個社會中受到人為限制的東西。
Sexual liberation was intended to allow people to have a clearer head when choosing who they really wanted to be with, but this process remains only half finished.
性解放就是為了讓人們擁有清晰的頭腦,去選擇他們真正想要的伴侶,不過這個過程只算是完成了一半。
Only when we can make sure that being single is potentially as secure, warm and fulfilling as being in a couple will we know that people are choosing to pair up for the right reasons.
直到我們可以確定單身和擁有伴侶都可以是安全、溫暖且充實的時候,我們才能夠知道人們是以正確的理由來選擇伴侶。
It's time to liberate companionship from the shackles of coupledom, and make it as widely and as easily available as sexual liberators wanted sex to be.
現在是將伴侶關係從夫妻關係中解放的時候,並使其像性解放者想要的性關係一樣地廣泛且容易獲得。
In the meantime, we should strive to make ourselves as much at peace as we can with the idea of being alone for a very long time.
在此同時,我們應該努力讓自己和長期的孤身主義和平相處。
Only then do we stand a chance of deciding to be with someone on the basis of their own and true merits.
只有這樣,我們才有機會能夠基於對方的真正價值,而去選擇和他交往。