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  • I know.

  • [CROWD CHEERING]

  • Hey guys.

  • Don't you miss her.

  • [CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

  • I mean it.

  • I'm so honored.

  • Thank you so much for being here.

  • It's my pleasure.

  • I love you.

  • I love you too.

  • And you look great.

  • Look at you, how cute you are.

  • Well look at you.

  • Look at your shoes.

  • I have shoes on.

  • You've got shoes on.

  • I know.

  • I put shoes on.

  • Shoes for your birthday.

  • What are you doing?

  • What's happening since you left the White House?

  • Are you bored?

  • Oh, nothing much.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What do you do?

  • Just hanging out.

  • Nothing.

  • Nothing?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • No.

  • I wake up when I want to wake up.

  • You know, I got myself all gussied up to come here.

  • Yeah.

  • Came out of the basement.

  • [CROWD CHEERING]

  • It's just like, what?

  • Come out of the house?

  • But we're doing great.

  • The girls are good.

  • Barack is working.

  • We've got projects going.

  • So we're staying busy.

  • And traveling-- we've had some fun.

  • Are you still working out a lot?

  • I'm not going to challenge you to anything because I'm not--

  • I'm not dressed for a challenge.

  • I'm not either.

  • And I'm not--

  • And I'd beat you anyway.

  • I bet you would.

  • [CROWD REACTS]

  • Yeah.

  • That was cold blooded, wasn't it?

  • You know what?

  • This time I think you're right.

  • Because I think I've slowed down on my push ups, but--

  • I have too.

  • I have too.

  • You've got to change your work-out up.

  • Look how she was cheating.

  • Can you see, y'all?

  • Who said-- somebody was like, yep.

  • She was cheating.

  • Yep.

  • I know you have--

  • My arms are so much longer than yours.

  • They don't go down but so far.

  • Yes.

  • That was ages ago.

  • Just because-- yeah, that was ages ago.

  • I was in shape then.

  • I wasn't 60.

  • So you're living in a regular house.

  • You said you wanted to open windows.

  • We live in Washington.

  • Yeah.

  • We stayed in Washington.

  • Because Sasha, our youngest, is a junior in high school.

  • And we wanted her to finish in the high school she's

  • been in since she was in second grade.

  • That's sweet of you.

  • So we live in the neighborhood-- down the street from the White

  • House.

  • Is it weird to like, look at that and go--

  • No it is not.

  • No?

  • Yeah, no.

  • It's not.

  • I mean, you know, what I learned in those eight years is

  • that home is where we make it.

  • And we were in the White House for eight years.

  • But it wasn't the house.

  • It was us in it.

  • It was our values and our love for each other.

  • And we just moved that to another house.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • But it is odd.

  • Because now I have a door and a doorbell.

  • And people actually trip out when I come to my door.

  • And I open it.

  • And the dogs, Bo and Sunny, don't know what a doorbell is.

  • So the doorbell rings.

  • And they're like, I never heard that before.

  • So who put the house together?

  • Did you?

  • I did, with the help of my team.

  • And we had a decorator.

  • But I picked out the House.

  • You know, I was--

  • because he was being the president when we had to move.

  • So he didn't really have time to go house hunting.

  • Right.

  • So does he like--

  • does he have the room he wants-- the closet he wants?

  • Oh, no, no, no.

  • No, no.

  • He still talks about this.

  • He got so shortchanged on this whole deal.

  • He doesn't have enough closet space.

  • Sorry.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • He's got the smallest room for his office.

  • And Sasha actually killed in this house.

  • She has, like, this two room suite.

  • It's all decked out.

  • She's got, like, a living room area and a bedroom.

  • Wow.

  • And she designed it.

  • So he's really hating on her.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • Well, but she deserves it.

  • Because--

  • I think so.

  • Yeah.

  • She's the baby.

  • Because Malia is not there and--

  • She's got a room up in the attic somewhere, Malia--

  • Oh.

  • I didn't know that.

  • She's away at college.

  • You know you don't waste rooms on college kids.

  • No.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Hey, I have a question.

  • And I think a lot of people have the same question.

  • So when the transfer was happening --

  • when Donald Trump and his wife were moving into the White

  • House, there was a gift exchange.

  • Oh yeah.

  • There was a box given.

  • The Tiffany's box.

  • So what was in there?

  • It was a lovely frame.

  • A frame?

  • It was a frame.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • This is--

  • First of all, he just walks up the steps

  • without his wife-- just leaves his wife behind.

  • He just walks up there.

  • Well, there's all this protocol.

  • I mean, this is like a state visit.

  • So they tell you, you're going to do this,

  • they're going to stand here.

  • Never before do you get this gift.

  • So I'm sort of like, OK.

  • What am I supposed to do with this gift?

  • And everyone cleared out.

  • And no one would come and take the box.

  • And I'm thinking, do we take the picture with it?

  • And then my husband saved the day.

  • See, he grabbed the box and took it back inside.

  • But everybody cleared out.

  • No staff, no one--

  • I was like, what do you do with a box?

  • I don't know why you got me talking about all that.

  • Where's my gift?

  • Oh, OK.

  • Well, I brought you some gifts.

  • [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

  • Oh.

  • Oh my.

  • There's that guy.

  • Oh my.

  • Well, as you can see, I went to our favorite store.

  • Yes.

  • And I stole this basket.

  • So don't tell anybody.

  • So I brought you a few things.

  • You're supposed to have your own--

  • Oh, I remember that.

  • I bought you a big box of wine.

  • Oh, that's nice.

  • That's a good year, too.

  • You introduced me to the boxed wine concept.

  • That's right.

  • So we're going to drink up.

  • Yes I'll have that, for sure, tonight.

  • And a little something to keep you flowing, you know.

  • [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

  • And, you know, just so that you don't ever lose a push-up

  • competition again--

  • What does this do?

  • Well, this gives you the perfect push-up.

  • Oh, it does?

  • Yeah.

  • I don't need it.

  • So I don't know how it works.

  • Oh, you know what?

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You know, your birthday was a few weeks ago.

  • And I'm going to--

  • You're going to re-gift--

  • --re-gift next year.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Because you need this.

  • But I do want to see how this works.

  • And last but not least, to remember the good times.

  • A little Barack Obama Chia Pet.

  • Oh, no.

  • [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

  • Who knew they made this?

  • Who knew?

  • That's the first time you've seen that?

  • I've never seen that.

  • So next time you've got-- you know how to do the Chia Pet.

  • You put the dirt in.

  • And then you water--

  • You water it.

  • --the Obama head.

  • Yeah.

  • And you get Obama hair.

  • But shouldn't that be gray now?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Ooh.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • It should be.

  • No, it probably went back to the regular color after he's--

  • now it's probably better.

  • And then you can keep the basket.

  • OK, thank you so much.

  • That's so sweet of you.

  • Happy birthday.

  • Hi, I'm Andy.

  • Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel.

  • So you can see more awesome videos

  • like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things

  • like ball-peen hammer.

  • And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities

  • if you're into that sort of thing.

  • Ah.

  • [SCREAMING] [CENSORSHIP BLEEP] God--

  • [CENSORSHIP BLEEP]

I know.

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