started in 1974.

我今天所要談的經驗

That's me with the funny gloves.

是從1974年開始的

I was 17 and going on a peace walk.

那個戴著奇怪手套的人就是我

What I didn't know though, was most of those people, standing there

我那時才17歲,便參加和平示威遊行

with me, were Moonies.

當時我並不知道,我身旁的這些人

(Laughter)

大部份都是統一教狂熱信徒

And within a week

(觀眾笑聲)[請注意：本影片有血腥畫面]

I had come to believe

不到一個禮拜

that the second coming of Christ had occurred,

他們就說服我

that it was Sun Myung Moon,

耶穌已經重返人世

and that I had been specially chosen and prepared by God

而文鮮明就是祂的化身

to be his disciple.

我是上帝的選民

Now as cool as that sounds,

註定要追隨文鮮明

my family was not that thrilled with this.

雖然聽起來很酷

(Laughter)

我的家人知道後卻不太爽

And they tried everything they could to get me out of there.

(觀眾笑聲)

There was an underground railroad of sorts

他們想盡辦法要我脫離那個教派

that was going on during those years. Maybe some of you remember it.

在那個年代有一個秘密組織

They were called deprogrammers.

也許你們有些人還記得

And after about five long years

那個組織裡的人被稱為"反洗腦者"

my family had me deprogrammed.

過了漫長的五年

And I then became a deprogrammer.

我的家人終於把我"反洗腦"了

I started going out on cases.

而我自己也成為"反洗腦者"

And after about five years of doing this,

我開始幫助被洗腦的受害人

I was arrested for kidnapping.

在做了將近五年的反洗腦工作後

Most of the cases I went out on

我因綁架罪名被逮捕

were called involuntary.

我輔導的大部份當事人

What happened was that the family

並非自願接受反洗腦的

had to get their loved ones some safe place somehow.

這些當事人的家人

And so they took them to some safe place.

得先為當事人找到安全的藏身地

And we would come in and talk to them, usually for about a week.

把他們安置在那裡

And so after this happened,

然後我們再去輔導,通常持續一個禮拜左右

I decided it was a good time to turn my back on this work.

經過被警方逮捕的事件後

And about 20 years went by.

我決定不再從事這種工作

There was a burning question though that would not leave me.

又過了大約20年

And that was, "How did this happen to me?"

我腦中有個問題始終揮之不去

And in fact, what did happen to my brain?

那就是:我到底怎麼了?

Because something did.

或是說:我的腦袋到底怎麼了?

And so I decided to write a book, a memoir,

因為我的腦中的確產生了變化

about this decade of my life.

於是我決定要寫一本回憶錄

And toward the end of writing that book

記錄我人生中被洗腦和反洗腦的那十年

there was a documentary that came out.

就在我快把書寫完的時候

It was on Jonestown.

有一部紀錄片上映了

And it had a chilling effect on me.

是關於集體自殺的瓊斯鎮

These are the dead in Jonestown.

我看了以後不禁毛骨悚然

About 900 people died that day,

這些就是死於那次事件的人

most of them taking their own lives.

當天大約有900個人喪生

Women gave poison to their babies,

其中大部份都是自殺

and watched foam come from their mouths as they died.

婦女餵自己的小孩吃毒藥

The top picture is a group of Moonies

眼睜睜看著他們口吐白沫而死

that have been blessed by their messiah.

上面的照片是文鮮明(統一教)的信徒

Their mates were chosen for them.

他們受到了救世主文鮮明的祝福

The bottom picture is Hitler youth.

配偶也都由文鮮明挑選好了

This is the leg of a suicide bomber.

下面的照片是信奉希特勒的青年軍

The thing I had to admit to myself,

這是一個自殺炸彈客的斷腿

with great repulsion,

我很不願意承認

was that I get it.

但又不得不承認的是

I understand how this could happen.

我了解這些人

I understand how someone's brain,

我了解他們為什麼會這樣

how someone's mind can come to the place

我懂一個人的腦子

where it makes sense --

為什麼會有那些想法

in fact it would be wrong, when your brain is working like that --

而且竟然認為那些想法是對的

not to try to save the world through genocide.

事實上,當你陷入那種思考模式以後

And so what is this? How does this work?

你會認為大屠殺是為了拯救世人

And how I've come to view what happened to me

這到底是什麼樣的心態?它是如何形成的?

is a viral, memetic infection.

我又是如何看清一切

For those of you who aren't familiar with memetics,

明白那其實是一種腦部中毒的現象

a meme has been defined as

在座有些人可能不太清楚這概念

an idea that replicates in the human brain

腦部中毒指的就是

and moves from brain to brain like a virus,

一個想法在人腦中不斷分裂複製

much like a virus. The way a virus works is --

像病毒一樣散播到別人的腦中

it can infect and do the most damage to someone

而就像病毒的運作方式一樣

who has a compromised immune system.

會傳染給他人並造成莫大傷害

In 1974, I was young, I was naive,

抵抗力差的人更深受其害

and I was pretty lost in my world.

1974年的我年輕又天真

I was really idealistic.

迷失在自己的世界裡

These easy ideas to complex questions are very appealing

抱著過於理想主義的態度

when you are emotionally vulnerable.

統一教的思想直觀，好似能解決人生大哉問，讓人非常嚮往

What happens is that

尤其那時的心靈又容易受人影響

circular logic takes over.

在這種狀況下

"Moon is one with God.

思考邏輯如迴圈般走不出來

God is going to fix all the problems in the world.

才會相信"文鮮明是上帝的化身"

All I have to do is humbly follow.

"上帝會解決世間所有問題"

Because God is going to stop war and hunger --

而我只要心悅誠服的追隨他就好

all these things I wanted to do --

因為上帝會阻止戰爭和飢餓

all I have to do is humbly follow.

那也是我的理想

Because after all, God is [working through] the messiah. He's going to fix all this."

我只要心悅誠服的追隨他就好

It becomes impenetrable.

他是上帝派的救世主，有他一切便天下太平

And the most dangerous part of this

這種想法漸漸根深柢固

is that is creates "us" and "them,"

而這種想法最可怕的地方在於

"right" and "wrong,"

它造成了"我們"和"他們"的對立

"good" and "evil."

"對"與"錯"的對立

And it makes anything possible,

"正"與"邪"的對立

makes anything rationalizable.

這讓人什麼事都做得出來

And the thing is, though,

一切的行為都被合理化

if you looked at my brain

但是

during those years in the Moonies --

如果當時有辦法一窺我的腦部

neuroscience is expanding exponentially,

在我信奉統一教的那幾年裡

as Ray Kurzweil said yesterday. Science is expanding.

不像現在有快速發展的神經科學

We're beginning to look inside the brain.

就像雷科茲維昨天說的.科學不斷進步

And so if you looked at my brain, or any brain that's infected with

現在我們開始窺探人腦如何運作

a viral memetic infection like this,

所以如果當時有辦法一窺我的腦部

and compared it to anyone in this room,

或是任何像這樣思想中毒的腦子

or anyone who uses critical thinking on a regular basis,

和在座任何人的腦子兩相比較

I am convinced it would look very, very different.

或是和習慣批判性思考的人腦做比較

And that, strange as it may sound,

我相信兩種腦子看起來一定非常不同

gives me hope.

各位或許會覺得我這麼說很奇怪

And the reason that gives me hope

但這件事給了我希望

is that the first thing is to admit

我有了希望是因為

that we have a problem.

我們做到了解決問題的第一步

But it's a human problem. It's a scientific problem, if you will.

那就是:承認這個問題的確存在

It happens in the human brain. There is no evil force out there to get us.

但這是個人腦的問題,或者說是科學的問題

And so this is something that, through research and education,

存在於我們腦中，並非是外來的邪惡力量要害我們

I believe that we can solve.

所以透過研究和教育

And so the first step is to realize

我相信這個問題是可以解決的

that we can do this together,

而解決此問題的第一步

and that there is no "us" and "them."

就是明白我們可以一起努力

Thank you very much. (Applause)

不分彼此,終止對立