the Dark Ages.

大家都經歷過所謂的

And the Dark Ages are the time between

黑暗時代

when you put away the LEGO

這黑暗時代是介乎於

for the last time as a kid,

從你小時候

and you decide as an adult that it is okay to play with a kid's toy.

最後一次玩樂高玩具開始

Started out with my then four-year-old:

到你覺得長大後仍玩樂高玩具其實也沒什麼不可

"Oh, should buy the kid some LEGO.

這故事與我當年只有四歲的孩子有關

That stuff's cool."

我想："哎呀，我應該買給孩子樂高玩具"

Walked into the LEGO store.

"他一定會很喜歡"

Bought him this.

然後我就走進樂高玩具店

It's totally appropriate for a four-year-old.

買了這套回家

(Laughter)

這完全是適合四歲的兒童

I think the box says --

(笑)

let's see here --

我想包裝外殼上寫 --

"8 to 12" on it.

讓我看看 --

I turn to my wife and said, "Who are we buying this for?"

適齡：8到12歲

She's like, "Oh, us." I'm like, "Okay. All right. That's cool."

我問我老婆："糟糕，我們是要買給誰阿?"

Pretty soon it got a little bit out of control.

她說："喔，不然自己玩好了"。我回："好吧，我也挺喜歡這個的"

The dining room looked like this.

很快的事情就有點脫序了

You walk there, and it hurts.

不久家裡餐廳就變成這樣

So we took a room downstairs in the basement

走過去不小心還會受傷

that had been used as sort of an Abu Ghraib annex.

所以我們就在地下室騰出一個房間

(Laughter)

這房間原本是用來虐待的

Torture, very funny.

(笑)

Wow, you guys are great.

我家有人被虐待這麼好笑

And we put down those little floor tiles,

你們真是好樣的

and then I went onto eBay

把餐廳的樂高挪到地下室後

and bought 150 pounds of LEGO --

沒多久我又馬上到eBay網

(Laughter)

買了150磅的樂高

which is insane.

(笑)

My daughter -- the day we got it, I was tucking her in --

根本是發瘋了

and I said,

我女兒，這150磅的樂高送來的當天晚上，睡前我幫她蓋被

"Honey, you're my treasure."

然後我說

And she said, "No, the LEGO is the treasure."

"小甜心，妳是我的寶貝"

(Laughter)

然後她回說："不是，樂高才是寶貝"

And then she said, "Dad, we're LEGO rich."

(笑)

I was like, "Yeah.

然後她接著說："老爸，我們是樂高界的郭台銘"

I suppose we are."

我回說："是呀"

So then once you do that

"我們是樂高郭台銘"

you're like, "Oh, crap. Where am I going to put all this?"

買了這麼多的樂高後

So you go to The Container Store

你會想到："喔，我是豬嗎?我得幫這些東西好好找個家"

and spend an enormous amount of money,

然後就開始逛貨櫃商店（註：美國賣儲物箱的賣場）

and then you start this crazy sorting process

很快的在裡面買一大堆東西

that never --

然後就開始作瘋狂的分類工作

it's just nuts.

從來沒有如此

Whatever.

瘋狂

So then you realize there are these conventions.

事情大概就這樣

And you go to one of these conventions, and some dude built the Titanic.

接著你會注意到一些同好社團，會試著加入

And you're like, "Holy shit!

在裡面你會發現，有很多吃飽閒著的人會打造像鐵達尼號這種大物

He had to come in like a truck,

你會大叫："我的媽"

a semi, with this thing."

"他大概得用一台卡車"

And then someone built this -- this is the Smith Tower in Seattle.

"還是一台拖車才能把這玩意兒載走"

Just beautiful.

有人還作了這個，西雅圖的史密斯大廈

And there's a dude selling these

多美呀

aftermarket weapons for LEGO,

還有個閒人

because LEGO -- the Danish --

開了店來賣樂高的武器零件

no, they're not into guns.

因為樂高----丹麥這國家

But the Americans? Oh, we'll make some guns for LEGO, no problem.

他們沒這麼喜歡武器

And at a certain point, you look around,

但美國人呢?噢，我們一定要在樂高世界裡添購武器

you're like, "Whoa, this is a really nerdy crowd."

到了某個時刻，你望望四周

And I mean like this is a nerdy crowd,

你覺得："唉呦，真是一大群怪人呀"

but that's like a couple of levels above furries.

我所謂的怪

(Laughter)

真的是比全身長毛的人還要怪

The nerds here, they get laid --

(笑)

except for the lady with the condoms in her pocket --

這些怪人，對什麼事都沒興趣

and you say to yourself at some point,

除了皮包裡永遠都有保險套的辣妹

"Am I part of this group? Like, am I into this?"

結果我發現自己跟他們越來越像

And I was just like, "Yeah, I guess I am.

"我跟這些人混在一起?" "我是這種人嗎?"

I'm coming out.

我承認，沒錯，我是

I'm kind of into this stuff, and I'm going to stop being embarrassed."

我想通了

So then you really get into it,

我已經變成這樣的人了，我不該感到尷尬丟臉

and you're like, "Well, the LEGO people in Denmark, they've got all this software

所以我就一頭完全的栽進去了

to let you build your own virtually."

而且，丹麥的樂高總部發展了一套軟體

And so this is like this CAD program where you build it.

讓你可以在電腦上拼樂高

And then whatever you design virtually,

這個像CAD的軟體（註：運用電腦軟體製作並模擬實物設計）

you click the button and it shows up at your doorstep a week later.

不論你設計了多怪的東西

And then some of the designs that people do

你只要點滑鼠，過一個星期實體就會送到你家門口了

they actually sell in the store.

有些設計師就專門做這種生意

The LEGO guys don't give you any royalties, strangely,

他們會把自己的作品放在樂高商店賣

but some user made this and then it sold.

真怪耶，樂高的老闆又不會付你設計版稅

And it's pretty amazing actually.

但就是有人會這樣做

Then you notice that if that

真的非常瘋狂

LEGO-provided CAD program isn't enough,

你們也會注意到

there's an entire open-source, third-party,

如果這種CAD程式有所不足怎麼辦

independent LEGO CAD program

有人開發出另一款軟體

that lets you do 3D modeling

同時還開放程式碼

and 3D rendering

讓你可以3D建模（用多邊形組合成立體模型）

and make, in fact, movies out of LEGO,

3D渲染（在立體模型上貼顏色或材質）

3D films

有人用樂高拍影片

of which there are thousands on YouTube,

這類影片

and some of them sort of mimicking famous films

Youtube上有一大堆

and some totally original content --

有些影片會模仿最受歡迎的電影

just beautiful --

有一些是自創的影片

and people recreating all sorts of things.

超棒的

I have to take a moment.

有人會重現某些場景

I love the guy who's like running away

我要講一下這個

with his clasps, his hooks.

我喜歡這個小人

Okay. Anyway.

用像小鉤子的手扣住車跑動的樣子

(Laughter)

沒錯，就像這樣

There's a whole programming language and robotics tool,

(笑)

so if you want to teach someone how to program,

左邊是一個能編寫程式語言來操縱機器人的工具

kid, adult, whatever it is.

若想教某人去編寫程式

And the guy that made this,

不論對象是小孩，還是大人都可以

he made a slot machine out of LEGO.

有人做出右邊這個

And I don't mean he made LEGO that looked like a slot machine;

樂高吃角子老虎

I mean he made a slot machine out of LEGO.

這可不是只有外表像吃角子老虎

The insides were LEGO.

這整台真的都是樂高

There's people getting drunk building LEGO,

連內部的運作零件都是樂高

and you've got to finish the thing before you puke.

這些高手可以醉醺醺的組裝樂高

There's a whole gray market for LEGO,

然後在嘔吐之前把作品完成

thousands of home-based businesses.

這是樂高的地下市場

And some people will fund their entire LEGO habit

宛如一個"家庭代工"市場

by selling the little guy,

有很多人靠對樂高的喜好來賺錢

but then you have no guys in your ships.

就賣這些小東西

And then, just some examples. This stuff really is sculpture.

你想要什麼角色在船上這裡統統有

This is amazing what you can do.

再跟各位分享。有人可以把樂高弄的超像雕塑品

And don't kid yourself:

你沒辦法想像有人可以弄成這樣

some architectural details, incredible organic shapes

我可沒亂講

and just, even, nature out of, again, little blocks.

原建築的細節，生物的外觀特徵

This is my house.

都能用這小小的積木堆疊出來

And this is my house.

這是我家

I was afraid a car was going to come smash it

這也是我家

as I was taking a picture for you guys.

當我在拍這張照片的時候

Anyway, I'm out of time.

超怕有台車經過輾暴我家

But just very quickly --

天阿，我快沒時間了

we'll just see if I can do this quick.

我要非常快速的

Because there aren't enough TED logos around here.

讓你們看看我組裝的實力

(Laughter)

我發現這裡的TED標誌實在有點少

Let's see here.

(笑)

Okay.

快好了

Ta-da.

完成

(Applause)

將將