No, the sound's not faulty -- righting writing wrongs.

我要講的題目是：糾正故事裡的錯誤。

The Middle East is huge,

不，你沒有聽錯，就是：糾正故事裡的錯誤。

and with all our problems, one thing's for sure: we love to laugh.

中東世界很廣大，

I think humor is a great way to celebrate our differences.

儘管我們有許多問題，但有一件事是確定的：我們很愛笑。

We need to take our responsibilities seriously,

我認為幽默是表現我們彼此差異的最佳方法，

but not ourselves.

我們當然得認真看待自己的責任，

Don't get me wrong: it's not like we don't have comedy in the Middle East.

但不需要太認真很待自己。

I grew up at a time when iconic actors

別誤會，我並不是說在中東沒有喜劇，

from Kuwait, Syria, Egypt

許多知名演員的喜劇表演陪伴我長大，

used laughter to unite the region,

他們來自科威特、敘利亞和埃及，

just as football can.

用笑聲征服了整個中東世界，

(Laughter)

就像大家瘋足球一樣。

Now is the time for us to laugh at ourselves,

(笑聲)

before others can laugh with us.

現在，在別人能和我們一同歡樂之前，

This is the story of the rise and rise of stand-up comedy in the Middle East --

我們得先學會嘲弄自己。

a stand-up uprising, if you will.

我要講的是脫口秀喜劇在中東崛起的故事，

Working in London as TV maker and writer,

如果大家捧場的話，脫口秀就有崛起的一天。

I quickly realized

我之前是在倫敦擔任電視節目製作人和編劇，

that comedy connects audiences.

我很快就發現，

Now, the best breeding ground for good comic writing

喜劇很容易引發觀眾共鳴。

is the stand-up comedy circuit,

現在，培育好的喜劇編劇的最佳溫床

where they just happen to say that you kill when you do well

就是脫口秀喜劇巡演，

and you bomb when you do badly.

那一行的行話是：說得好他們就愛死你，

An unfortunate connection for us maybe,

說得不好他們就炸死你。

but it reminds me

這聽起來或許有點恐怖，

that we'd like to thank one man for, over the past decade,

但這讓我想到，

working tirelessly

我們得感謝一個人，那個人在過去十年裡，

to support comedians all around the world,

不屈不撓，

specifically comedians

全力協助全球的喜劇演員，

with a Middle Eastern background.

更特別關愛

(Applause)

有中東血統的喜劇演員。

Like my good friends, Dean and Maysoon, at the bottom of the screen,

(掌聲)

who, two years after 9/11,

像我的好朋友，狄恩和梅遜，就是螢幕下方那二個，

started a festival to change the way

他們在911事件發生二年後，

Middle Easterners are perceived in the world.

開始在他們的節目上，

It's still going strong, with positive press to die for.

改變世人對中東人的印象。

Also, three guys working for years in Los Angeles,

他們還持續這樣做，想為中東人創造正面形象。

an Iranian, a Palestinian and an Egyptian,

同時，有三個在洛杉磯工作多年的喜劇演員，

created the aptly named Axis of Evil comedy act.

他們分別是伊朗裔、巴勒斯坦裔和埃及裔美國人，

And wherever they went,

創造了邪惡軸心國喜劇聯盟，

they killed.

他們所到之處，

Now, I didn't start this fire, but I did pour petrol on it.

都造成風靡。

I moved to Dubai as the head of original content

雖然火不是我點的，但我也有幫忙火上澆油。

for a Western TV network.

我後來搬到杜拜，擔任一家西方電視台的

My job was to connect the brand with a Middle Eastern audience.

自製節目總監，

Now, the American head of programming

我的目標是爭取廣大的中東地區觀眾。

wanted new local Arabic comedy.

那時，美國來的節目總監

In a thick Arabic accent, my brain went,

要我們製作新的、當地的阿拉伯喜劇，

"Berfect."

我腦袋裡立刻出現濃重的阿拉伯口音：

(Laughter)

「太胖(棒)了！」

Now, I had friends in the U.S.

(笑聲)

who had started a successful new tribe.

而我在美國的朋友，

And I had every intention of taking this tribe

剛好組成了一個相當成功的團體，

from being outliers in the Middle East

我非常希望能將他們

and pushing them over the tipping point

帶進中東市場，

towards success.

把他們推向

Now, as with any new idea, it wasn't easy.

成功的頂峰。

I had four phases to this plan.

但要推銷一個好點子，可沒有那麼容易。

First, we'd need to buy content from the West and air it.

我那時規劃了四個步驟：

Then I'd bring my friends, and we'd show local amateurs how it's done.

首先，我們先向西方國家買節目來播放，

We would film that and air it,

然後我會邀請我的朋友來表演，讓當地的業餘演員觀摩，

and then I could work with the local amateurs and write new comedy.

我們會把整個過程錄成節目播放，

I excitedly presented this to the big boss,

最後我們就能和那些業餘演員合作，撰寫新的喜劇腳本。

and his reaction was, "Um, I don't get it."

我很興奮地把這個計畫拿給大老闆看，

So I retreated back to my cave

但他的反應是：「嗯，真搞不懂你們在想什麼！」

and continued to support and produce comedy

所以我只好撤退回我的山洞，

and let my friends use my couch

繼續製作我的喜劇節目，

as a regional operations hub.

還把我的沙發貢獻出來，

Now, fast forward two years, to early 2007.

讓我的朋友把我的沙發當成中東區營運總部。

The earth rotated, as did our management,

好，先快轉二年到2007年年初，

(Laughter)

整個世界改變了，我的大老闆也換人了。

and as if by divine intervention,

(笑聲)

things came together

這一切有如神助，

to help this revolution take shape.

所有的事都到位了，

Here's how the dots connected.

讓我們的革命能夠成形，

First, the Axis guys recorded a Comedy Central special

讓我們能成就這番事業。

that aired in the States,

一開始，邪惡軸心國的成員錄製了一個喜劇特輯

and it was getting great hits on YouTube.

在美國播放，

Our new French CEO

在YouTube上造成極大轟動。

believed in the power of positive PR ...

我們新任的法國總裁

(Laughter)

相信正向的宣傳有其無比的威力...

and ideas du bon marche.

(笑聲)

Let's just say "value for money."

好的點子就會有du bon marche(法文)，

I produced in Dubai a show for Ahmed Ahmed

就是財源會滾滾而來。

to showcase his new Axis special to a packed room.

我在杜拜為阿馬德製作了一個節目，

I invited our new CEO,

為他們的軸心國喜劇製作了一個櫥窗展示，

and as soon as he realized we had a room packed full of laughing infidels,

然後邀請新任總裁來看，

his reaction was very simple:

當他一發現我們有這麼多讓人發笑的好點子後，

"Let's make this happen.

他的反應出奇地簡單：

And one more thing: No, don't F it up."

「就去做吧！

So I quickly went to work

還有，別搞砸了。」

with a great team around me.

所以，我馬上回去

I happened to find

和那些優秀的團員一起工作，

a funny guy to present it in Arabic,

很巧的是，

who is originally Korean,

我又看到一個在阿拉伯表演的傢伙，

a perfect fit for the Axis of Evil.

他竟然是韓國人，

This is all true.

簡直太適合我們邪惡軸心國了！

Now, while preparing for the tour,

這都是真的！

I had to remind the guys to be culturally sensitive.

當我們在準備巡迴演出的時候，

I used the three Bs of stand-up don'ts

我提醒團員們要有文化敏感度，

as I call them in the Middle East:

也就是在中東地區表演時，

blue content, keep it clean; beliefs, not religion;

要注意不要提到三個敏感話題：

and the third B, bolitics.

色情的話題不好，要純淨；不要談宗教；

Stay away from bolitics in the Middle East.

不要談論政治，

Oh course, you might think, what's left

在中東永遠不要談論政治。

without bolitics, sex and religion, how can you make people laugh?

你當然會說，

I'd say, watch any successful well-written,

除了政治、性和宗教話題外，還有什麼可以讓人發笑？

family-friendly sitcom in the West

看看那些在西方國家大受歡迎、

for your answers.

講述友誼與親情的情境喜劇，

Now, were the Axis successful?

不就是了嗎？

In five countries, in just under a month,

那麼，軸心國成功了嗎？

we had thousands of fanatical fans come and see them live.

在不到一個月的時間內，有五個國家、

We had millions see them on TV and on TV news.

數以千計狂熱的粉絲跑來看他們的現場表演，

In Jordan, we had His Majesty the King come and see them.

有百萬以上的觀眾看過他們的電視節目和新聞報導，

In fact, they were so successful

約旦國王還親自來看他們表演。

that you could buy a pirated copy of their DVD,

他們的表演大獲成功，

even before it was released in the Middle East.

他們的節目在中東地區正式播放之前，

Anywhere you go.

你就可以在市場上買到盜版的DVD了，

So everywhere we went,

不管你在中東哪個國家都一樣。

we auditioned amateurs.

我們每到一個地方，

We filmed that process and aired a documentary.

就為當地的業餘表演者舉辦試演會，

I called it "Three Guys and Wonho."

並把整個過程拍下來，剪輯成紀錄片播放，

It really is his name.

片名叫：「三寶與王虎」(Three Guys and Wonho)，

And all this TV and Internet exposure

那真的是他的名字啊...

has led to a great many

這些電視節目和網路上的大量放送，

recruits to our cause.

為我們帶來

In Dubai this year, we've just had

大量的生力軍。

the first all-women's, homegrown stand-up show.

今年，我們在杜拜，

And notice two of them are wearing headscarves,

剛剛成立了第一個本土的女性脫口秀節目，

and yes, even they can laugh.

其中有二位女性還帶了頭巾，

Dubai, to me, is like a hand

對，帶了頭巾還是能搞笑。

that supports anyone who wants to make things happen.

杜拜對我而言，就像一雙助手，

20 years ago,

她能幫助任何人達成願望。

no one had heard of it.

二十年前，

Look at it now.

沒人聽過這個地方，

With an inspirational leader, I think this year,

看看現在，

the opening of the tallest tower in the world

在偉大領導的帶領之下，我相信今年

is like adding a finger to that hand,

世界最高大樓的開幕典禮，

that points at all those

將為杜拜錦上添花，

who spread fallacious stories about us.

並粉碎那些

(Laughter)

有關杜拜的不實報導與傳言。

(Applause)

(笑聲)

Now, in three short years, we've come a long way

(掌聲)

with stand-up comedy shows happening even in Saudi Arabia.

經過了三年之後，我們努力發揚脫口秀

These comics are now going to the New York festival.

終於有了回報，我們現在也在沙烏地阿拉伯演出了，

And the Lebanese, brilliant Lebanese,

我們還要進軍紐約佳年華。

Nemr Abou Nassar, we featured in our first tour,

團員裡有個聰明的黎巴嫩人，

has just been performing in L.A.'s legendary comedy clubs.

他叫南阿布．納沙，是我們在第一次巡演時招募到的團員，

So clearly, from the inside, we are doing our best to change our image,

他最近才到洛杉磯的喜劇名人堂裡表演過。

and it's exploding.

很明顯地，在我們內部，我們致力於改變中東人的形象，

(Laughter)

造成了爆炸性的改變。

So, as for the outsiders looking in,

(笑聲)

watch the CNN report on the second Amman Comedy Festival.

而從外部的角度來看，

The reporter did a great job, and I thank her,

看看CNN對第二屆安曼喜劇佳年華的報導就知道了，

but somebody forgot to send the positive PR email

那位記者的報導很出色，我很感謝她，

to the person operating the automatic news ticker that appears at the bottom.

但有人忘了提醒 撰寫出現在螢幕下方

For example, when Dean talks,

跑馬新聞字幕的人，也要用一些正面報導互相配合。

the ticker says, "U.S.: Suspect gave 'actionable intel."

舉例來說，當狄恩在表演的時候，

Well, if you're used to listening to comedians,

跑馬字幕突然出現：「美國消息：嫌犯提供可靠情報」

then I'm not surprised.

嗯，如果你習慣「聽」喜劇表演的話，

Sadly, this leads me to another three Bs

就沒什麼問題，

that represents how the media in the West

但是這二個配在一起，就讓我想到

talks about us as bombers, billionaires

西方媒體慣常將中東人聯想成：

and belly dancers.

炸彈、百萬富翁、

Enough.

肚皮舞孃。

We're not all angry fanatics

真是夠了！

who want to kill the infidel.

不是所有的中東人都是憤怒的狂熱份子，

We have a positive story to tell

想要殺光所有的異教徒，

and image to sell.

我們也想講一些正面的故事、

In fact, one thing's for sure, in my experience,

也想推廣我們正面的形象啊...

we love to laugh like hell.

而且，以我過去的經驗，我很確定一點，

(Laughter)

我們都愛笑到要死。

Here are three questions that I like to use

(笑聲)

to test the truthiness of our representation

我習慣用一些問題，

in any media story.

來測試媒體上所出現的中東人形象

One: Is the Middle East

是否真實：

being shown in a current time

第一：這個中東人

and correct context?

是否出現在現代？

(Laughter)

並穿著正確的服裝？

Two: Do the Middle Eastern characters

(笑聲)

laugh or smile

第二：這些中東人

without showing the whites of their eyes?

在笑的時候，

(Laughter)

是不是都能不露出眼白？

Three: Is the Middle Eastern character

(笑聲)

being played by one?

第三：這個中東人角色

Clearly, there are wrongs that need to be righted.

是否從頭到尾由同一個人扮演？

We've started in our region.

很顯然的，這裡面有許多錯誤必須導正，

My challenge to the rest of the world

我們從自己開始做起，

is please, start using

至於其他國家的人，

positive Middle Eastern images in your stories.

我只希望他們能以

For inspiration, go to one of our festivals,

正面形象來描述出現在他們故事裡的中東人。

go online, drop us a line.

多給我們一些鼓勵，去看看我們的慶典，

Let's change the narrative together

上網看看，這樣就能幫助我們。

and let's start righting writing wrongs.

讓我們一起改變現況，

I'd like to end, before going back to the Middle East,

一起來糾正故事裡的錯誤。

with a quote from one of the greatest Sheikhs

在我回去中東之前，

to put quill to parchment.

我想用一位偉大長老用鵝毛筆

As my father likes to call him, "Asheikh Azubare;"

寫在羊皮紙上的話來做總結，

as my mother would say, "Shakespeare."

我父親稱這位長老為「阿祖巴長老」，

(Laughter)

我母親則稱他為「莎士比亞」。

"And now we go in content

(笑聲)

to liberty and not to banishment."

「我們所追求的，

Thank you.

是自由，而非放逐。」

(Applause)

謝謝各位。