When I was about 16 years old

我記得大概16歲的時候

I can remember flipping through channels at home during summer vacation,

某個暑假我在家裡轉著電視台

looking for a movie to watch on HBO --

想在HBO找套電影看

and how many of you remember "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?

你們有哪位記得《蹺課天才》？

Oh yeah, great movie, right? -- Well, I saw Matthew Broderick on the screen, and so I thought,

那套電影很好看吧 當馬修柏德瑞克出現時，我想

"Sweet! Ferris Bueller. I'll watch this!"

「太棒，是《蹺課天才》，我要看這個」

It wasn't Ferris Bueller. And forgive me Matthew Broderick,

但那不是《蹺課天才》 馬修柏德瑞克，請原諒我

I know you've done other movies besides Ferris Bueller, but that's how I remember you; you're Ferris.

我知道你演過很多角色，但我只記得 你在這部戲的角色，認定你是蹺課天才

But you weren't doing Ferris-y things at the time; you were doing gay things at the time.

但你當時沒有做《蹺課天才》做的事 你當時在做同志做的事

He was in a movie called "Torch Song Trilogy."

他演了一部《火炬三部曲》的電影

And "Torch Song Trilogy" was based on a play about this drag queen who essentially was looking for love.

《火炬三部曲》是改編自一個 變裝皇后尋找愛情的舞台劇

Love and respect -- that's what the whole film was about.

愛和尊重，就是整部電影的重點

And as I'm watching it, I'm realizing that they're talking about me.

我看著這部戲，覺得它正在講我

Not the drag queen part -- I am not shaving my hair for anyone -- but the gay part.

我不是變裝皇后，我不想為任何人剷青 我指的是同性戀者

The finding love and respect, the part about trying to find your place in the world.

尋找愛和尊重、活著的意義

So as I'm watching this, I see this powerful scene that brought me to tears,

於是我看下去，有一幕震撼得令我哭了

and it stuck with me for the past 25 years.

至今已25年，我仍然記憶猶新

And there's this quote that the main character, Arnold, tells his mother

主角艾諾向母親說的一句話

as they're fighting about who he is and the life that he lives.

當時他們正為其性取向和生活方式而爭執

"There's one thing more -- there's just one more thing you better understand.

「還有一件事，只是一件事你需要理解」

I've taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture,

「我自己學會縫紉、煮飯、修水電、建造傢俱」

I can even pat myself on the back when necessary,

「甚至在需要時拍背來自我安慰」

all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything.

「所以我不用向別人求甚麼」

There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect,

「除了愛與尊重，我不會向別人求任何東西」

and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life."

「無法給我這兩樣東西的 也在不配在我的生命有任何位置」

I remember that scene like it was yesterday; I was 16, I was in tears, I was in the closet,

我對這幕仍然歷歷在目 我當年16歲，含著淚水，當時仍未出櫃

and I'm looking at these two people, Ferris Bueller and some guy I'd never seen before,

我看著這兩個人，俏課天才和另一個我沒看過的人

fighting for love.

為愛而奮鬥

When I finally got to a place in my life

當我來到生命的這個階段

where I came out and accepted who I was, and was really quite happy, to tell you the truth,

我出櫃並接納自己 事實上，我十分開心

I was happily gay and I guess that's supposed to be right because gay means happy too.

我很身為同志非常開心，而這應該很正常 因為「基」這個字也有開心的意思

I realized there were a lot of people who weren't as gay as I was --

我意識到很多人不像我「基」得這麼開心

gay being happy, not gay being attracted to the same sex.

這裡「基」字當開心用 不是被同性吸引的「基」

In fact, I heard that there was a lot of hate and a lot of anger

事實上，關於我的性向和同志生活方式

and a lot of frustration and a lot of fear

我聽說當時有許多的憎恨和憤怒

about who I was and the gay lifestyle.

也有很多的氣餒和恐懼

Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out "the gay lifestyle," "the gay lifestyle,"

我試圖了解何謂「同志生活型態」

and I keep hearing this word over and over and over again: lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle.

生活型態、生活型態…這個詞不斷縈繞在我腦海

I've even heard politicians say that the gay lifestyle is a greater threat

我聽說過政治家說同志生活型態

to civilization than terrorism.

對文明的威脅更甚於恐怖主義

That's when I got scared.

這句話令我很害怕

Because I'm thinking, if I'm gay and I'm doing something that's going to destroy civilization,

如果我是同志而且在做毀滅文明的事

I need to figure out what this stuff is, and I need to stop doing it right now.

我要知道到底是甚麼事 而且必須馬上停止

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So, I took a look at my life, a hard look at my life,

於是很努力的檢討自己的生活

and I saw some things very disturbing.

當中我發現一些令人很不安的事

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I want to begin sharing these evil things that I've been doing with you,

我要與你們分享我們都做的壞事

starting with my mornings.

從朝早開始

I drink coffee.

我喝咖啡

Not only do I drink coffee, I know other gay people who drink coffee.

我不只是喝咖啡 而且認識一樣喝咖啡的同志

I get stuck in traffic --

我會塞車

evil, evil traffic.

很惡毒的塞車

Sometimes I get stuck in lines at airports.

有時我在機場裡被迫排長龍

I look around, and I go, "My God, look at all these gay people!

我環顧四周，然後很驚訝地發現： 天啊，周圍都是同志

We're all trapped in these lines! These long lines trying to get on an airplane!

我們一起在排長龍 就只是為了上飛機

My God, this lifestyle that I'm living is so freaking evil!"

我的天啊 我的生活方式實在太邪惡了

I clean up. This is not an actual photograph of my son's room; his is messier.

我打掃，這不是我兒子房間的照片 他房間更髒亂

And because I have a 15-year-old, all I do is cook and cook and cook.

因為我有個15歲的兒子 我一天到晚都在煮飯

Any parents out there of teenagers? All we do is cook for these people --

這裡有青少年的父母嗎? 我們每天為這些人煮飯

they eat two, three, four dinners a night -- it's ridiculous!

他們一晚就能吃二、三、四頓晚餐 簡直是離譜

This is the gay lifestyle.

這就是同志的生活型態

And after I'm done cooking and cleaning and standing in line and getting stuck in traffic,

等我煮完飯、打掃完 排隊、塞完車

my partner and I, we get together

我和我的伴侶終於相聚

and we decide that we're gonna go and have some wild and crazy fun.

決定要放鬆並狂野、瘋狂的玩樂

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We're usually in bed before we find out who's eliminated on "American Idol."

我們通常一同在床上 想看看《全美一叮》又叮走了誰

We have to wake up and find out the next day who's still on

但我們通常到第二朝才會知道誰還倖存

because we're too freaking tired to hear who stays on.

因為我們實在太累 等不到結果宣佈就睡著

This is the super duper evil gay lifestyle.

這就是超級邪惡的同志生活型態

Run for your heterosexual lives, people.

各位，趕快逃往異性戀的生活吧

(Applause)

（掌聲）

When my partner, Steve, and I first started dating,

當我的伴侶史提夫和我剛開始拍拖

he told me this story about penguins.

他告訴我一個關於企鵝的故事

And I didn't know where he was going with it at first.

我初時不曉得他要講甚麼

He was kind of a little bit nervous when he was sharing it with me, but he told me that

他當時有黠緊張，但他說

when a penguin finds a mate that they want to spend the rest of their life with,

當一隻企鵝想跟另一隻企鵝成為終生伴侶時

they present them with a pebble -- the perfect pebble.

他會送給她一顆小石頭，一塊最完美的小石

And then he reaches into his pocket, and he brings this out to me.

然後史提夫伸手進口袋，拿出這個給我

And I looked at it, and I was like, this is really cool.

我看著它，心想，真是太好了

And he says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

史提夫說：「我想成為你的終生伴侶」

So I wear this whenever I have to do something that makes me a little nervous,

所以每當我要做一些事而很緊張 我就會戴起它

like, I don't know, a TEDx talk.

譬如說，在TEDx演講的時候

I wear this when I am apart from him for a long period of time.

跟他分別很久時，我也會戴著它

And sometimes I just wear it just because.

有時沒有甚麼原因，我都會戴著

How many people out there are in love? Anyone in love out there?

這裡有多少人正在戀愛？誰有愛人？

You might be gay.

你也可能是同志

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Because I, too, am in love, and apparently that's part of the gay lifestyle that I warned you about.

因為我也在戀愛中 這應該就是我說的同志生活型態

(Applause)

（掌聲）

You may want to tell your spouse. Who, if they're in love, might be gay as well.

你可能也要告訴你的伴侶 如果他們在戀愛，他們也可能是同志

How many of you are single? Any single people out there?

這裡有沒有單身的？

You too might be gay! Because I know some gay people who are also single.

你也可能是同志！ 因為我認識一些同志是單身的

It's really scary, this gay lifestyle thing; it's super duper evil and there's no end to it!

同志生活型態實在太瘋狂 它超級邪惡，而且永無休止

It goes and goes and engulfs!

無日無之的吞噬你

It's really quite silly, isn't it?

聽上來很白癡吧

That's why I'm so happy to finally hear President Obama come out and say

所以我很高興奧巴馬總統站起來說

that he supports --

（掌聲）

(Applause)

他支持

that he supports marriage equality.

（掌聲）

It's a wonderful day in our country's history; it's a wonderful day in the globe's history

他支持同志有平等的婚姻權利

to be able to have an actual sitting president say, enough of this --

這在我們國家和全球的歷史上 是美妙的一頁

first to himself, and then to the rest of the world.

能夠聽見現任的總統說，夠了

It's wonderful.

先對他自己，再對全世界

But there's something that's been disturbing me since he

這真是太棒了

made that remark just a short time ago.

雖然奧巴馬不久前公開表態

And that is, apparently, this is just another move by the gay activists

但有些事仍然讓我很不安

that's on the gay agenda.

就是，很明顯的 這是同志運動者的行動之一

And I'm disturbed by this because I've been openly gay now for quite some time.

是同志白皮書的一部分

I've been to all of the functions, I've been to fundraisers,

我對此感到不安 因為我已經公開出櫃有一段日子

I've written about the topic, and I have yet to receive my copy of this gay agenda.

我去過各類集會和籌款活動

(Laughter)

我也寫過這個題材的書 但我從未收到我的「同志白皮書」

I've paid my dues on time,

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

我是個準時的納稅人

I've marched in gay pride flags parades and the whole nine,

（笑聲）

and I've yet to see a copy of the gay agenda.

我拿著彩虹旗參加全部九個遊行

It's very, very frustrating, and I was feeling left out, like I wasn't quite gay enough.

但我還是沒見過「同志白皮書」

But then something wonderful happened: I was out shopping, as I tend to do,

我真的很沮喪，我覺得我被排擠 好像我不夠同志般

and I came across a bootleg copy of the official gay agenda.

但奇妙的事情終於發生 我有一次去買東西

And I said to myself, "LZ, for so long, you have been denied this.

我看到一本非法的官方「同志白皮書」

When you get in front of this crowd, you're gonna share the news.

而我告訴我自己： 一直以來，你都沒拿到的

You're gonna spread the gay agenda so no one else has to wonder,

但當你來到人群前 你要將這個消息告訴他們

what exactly is in the gay agenda?

你要向他們宣揚「同志白皮書」 一解所有人的疑惑

What are these gays up to?

到底甚麼是「同志白皮書」？

What do they want?"

這班同志想做甚麼？

So, without further ado, I will present to you, ladies and gentlemen --

他們到底想要甚麼？

now be careful, 'cause it's evil -- a copy,

各位，毋用耽擱 我謹此呈獻一本-

the official copy, of the gay agenda.

要小心，因為這很邪惡

(Music)

一本官方的「同志白皮書」

The gay agenda, people!

（音樂）

(Applause)

大家看，是「同志白皮書」

There it is!

（拍手）

Did you soak it all in? The gay agenda.

就在這裡

Some of you may be calling it, what,

感受到這本「同志白皮書」的氛圍嗎？

the Constitution of the United States, is that what you call it too?

你們可能心想，不是吧

The U.S. Constitution is the gay agenda.

美國憲法是哪門子的同志白皮書

These gays, people like me, want to be treated like full citizens

美國憲法就是同志白皮書

and it's all written down in plain sight.

這些像我一樣的同志 希望像一般市民一樣被對待

I was blown away when I saw it. I was like, wait, this is the gay agenda?

因此他們將這個心願清楚的寫下來

Why didn't you just call it the Constitution so I knew what you were talking about?

我看到時實在吃驚了 這真的是同志白皮書嗎？

I wouldn't have been so confused; I wouldn't have been so upset.

為甚麼你們不直接稱同志白皮書為憲法 這樣我就知道你在說甚麼

But there it is. The gay agenda.

我就不會一直這麼疑惑和難過

Run for your heterosexual lives.

但同志白皮書終於面世了

Did you know that in all the states where there is no shading that

趕快逃往異性戀生活吧

people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered

你知道嗎？在這些沒有陰影的州份

can be kicked out of their apartments

男女同志、雙性戀或變性人

for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered?

可以被迫遷的

That's the only reason that a landlord needs to have them removed,

原因是他們是男女同志、雙性戀或變性人

because there's no protection from discrimination of GLBT people.

房東就是用這個理由把他們趕走

Did you know in the states where there's no shading that

因為這些人沒有任何反歧視的保障

you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered?

你知道在這些沒有陰影的州份

Not based upon the quality of your work,

你會被開除，因為你是男女同志、雙性戀或變性人？

how long you've been there, if you stink,

這與你工作的品質

just if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

你的年資，或者你有沒有體臭無關

All of which flies in the face of the gay agenda,

就因為你是男女同志、雙性戀或變性人

also known as the U.S. Constitution.

這些問題都是同志白皮書中所反對的

Specifically, this little amendment right here:

也就是美國憲法

"No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities

特別是這項修正案

of citizens of the United States."

「任何一州都不得制定或執行 任何剝奪美國公民特權或豁免權

I'm looking at you, North Carolina.

的法律」

But you're not looking at the U.S. Constitution.

北卡羅萊納州，我在講你

This is the gay agenda: equality. Not special rights,

你並沒有遵守美國憲法

but the rights that were already written by these people --

這就是同志白皮書、公民平權 不是特殊的權利

these elitists, if you will.

而是早已寫下的權利 由前人

Educated, well-dressed,

或你可以稱呼他們為菁英

(Laughter)

受過教育、穿著考究

some would dare say questionably dressed.

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

或有人說是打扮奇異

Nonetheless, our forefathers, right?

（笑聲）

The people that, we say, knew what they were doing when they wrote the Constitution --

不管怎樣，都是我們的開國先父，對吧？

the gay agenda, if you will.

這些人，他們知道他們在做甚麼 當他們在制定美國憲法時

All of that flies in the face of what they did.

或是同志白皮書

That is the reason why I felt it was imperative that

這些都是他們所反對的

I presented you with this copy of the gay agenda.

這就是為甚麼我認為我必須

Because I figured if I made it funny, you wouldn't be as threatened.

把同志白皮書給你們看

I figured if I was a bit irreverent, you wouldn't find it serious.

因為我想如果我搞笑一點 你就不會感到威脅

But when you see the map, and you see our state of Michigan --

如果我一副事不關己的樣子 你就不會覺得很嚴肅

it's legal to fire someone

但當我們看這個地圖 你看到在密西根州

for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered,

是可以合法的

that it's legal to remove someone from their home

解僱男女同志、雙性戀或變性人

because they're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered,

也可以合法的迫遷

then you realize that this whole conversation about marriage equality

只因他們是男女同志、雙性戀或變性人

is not about stripping someone's rights away,

你就會了解 這整段跟結婚平等權有關的演講

it's about granting them the rights that [have] already been stated.

並不是要剝奪其他人的權利

And we're just trying to walk in those rights that have already been stated,

而是還給人們 他們本來就被賦予的權利

that we've already agreed upon.

我們只希望能根據這些權利生活

There are people living in fear

這些我們早已接受並行使的權利

of losing their jobs

有很多人生活在恐懼中

so they don't show anyone who they really are

怕失去工作

right here at home. This isn't just about North Carolina;

所以他們不敢向任何人公開性向

all those states that were clear, it's legal.

甚至在家中也不行 這並不只存在北卡羅萊那州

If I could brag for a second,

在那些白色的州裡，這都是合法的

I have a 15-year-old son from my marriage.

讓我炫耀一下

He has a 4.0.

我已婚，有個15歲的兒子

He is starting a new club at school, Policy Debate.

他的學分是4.0

He's a budding track star;

他在大學創立一個新學會：政策辯論

he has almost every single record in middle school for every event that he competed in.

他是個正在崛起的田徑新秀

He volunteers.

中學時參加了所有比賽和活動

He prays before he eats.

他有做志工

I would like to think, as his father -- and he lives with me primarily --

吃飯前會禱告

that I had a little something to do with all of that.

我常想，作為他的父親 他大部分時間跟我住

I would like to think that he's a good boy,

我應該多少都有促成他的成就

a respectful young man. I would like to think that

我覺得他是個好男孩

I've proven to be a capable father.

我認為他是令人尊敬的年輕人

But if I were to go to the state of Michigan today,

這證明我是個好父親

and try to adopt a young person who is in an orphanage,

但假設我今天去密西根州

I would be disqualified for only one reason:

試著從孤兒院認養一個年輕人

because I'm gay.

我會被認定不合格 只為了一個原因

It doesn't matter what I've already proven, what I can do with my heart.

我是同性戀者

It's because of what the state of Michigan says that I am

就算我已經證明我有能力

that I am disqualified for any sort of adoption.

只要密西根州說一句