One time, he left on a trip in about November

and I didn't hear a word from him until February.

Finally, he called and asked me to meet him

in Mexico City the next day.

We had about one day and one night together.

I knew that going back to El Salvador

would be really dangerous.

I also knew that if he couldn't do the one thing that

was the most important to him, that it would be

like he wasn't really living.

A few weeks after I got home, I found out that I was pregnant.

A few weeks after that, I found out

that Wilfredo had been killed.

I was just so glad that he was leaving part of himself

with me.

I named him Daniel, a pseudonym that his father used.

Having Danny in my life was like having a light.

I was grieving and then I had this beautiful baby.

I thought about, even though Wilfredo isn't here,

how can I raise Danny in a way that would make him proud?

But on the other hand, I didn't want Danny

to feel like he had to replace his father in any way.

And so I wrote him a letter and I promised him

that I was going to let him be who he was

and allow him to walk his own path.

That promise turned out to be really important.

A few weeks before Danny's fourth birthday,

he told me that he wanted to be a princess for Halloween.

This wasn't really a big surprise to me.

From the time he was 1 and 1/2 years old,

he had this Barbie that he took with him everywhere he went

and he loved purple and pink.

I usually let him do his thing at home,

but in public, I was worried about judgment and teasing.

I didn't know if I was doing something wrong as Danny's mom.

And I also kind of wondered what Wilfredo

would have said or done.

I say to Danny, “How about Peter Pan instead?”

But Danny was really clear on what he wanted.

I had to make a choice.

Would I try to pressure him to be like other boys?

We found this big purple lacy dress that had jewels on it

and I cut it down to size for Danny

and I also found a pink shimmery gown

because I decided I could be a princess, too.

I had a dream that Wilfredo came back to meet Danny.

I thought, oh no, what if he sees

Danny in his princess dress?

And what if he doesn't accept him for who he is?

But I also believe in something pretty fundamental.

Parents don't get to decide who their children are.

What we get to do is to support them.

I do believe that Wilfredo would have

seen that honoring Danny for who he is was important to him.

Danny is really full of love and heart —

something that he got from his dad.

I would tell him, Danny has not followed exactly

in your footsteps, but I can't imagine that you wouldn't

be incredibly proud of our son.

He's one of the bravest people I've ever met, just like you.

My mother Nina —

I don't know a lot about her.

I remember that she was profoundly sad.

It was sad being around sadness.