Cat. Cat. Cat. Dick!

It was horrifying.

But I figured "Oh! Maybe this is just like one weirdo

an isolated incident. Maybe it will never happen again."

Because I like looking at everyone's Snaps, you know?

Like, I get to meet so many new cats!

So I went back to looking at Snapchat, and of course

Dick!

I immediately changed my privacy settings.

I'm sorry all the cats I never got to meet.

And I tried to process this weird feeling of having seen

Stranger Danger dick pics.

Because first and foremost there are only 2 kinds of dick pics, right?

The ones that are unwanted, which are super gross.

And the ones that are wanted which are still kinda gross.

And it made me think: what are guys hoping

that our response is to this?

Oh, a penis! Let me screenshot that.

Print that.

Let me frame that.

Also, a straight man sending an unsolicited dick pic

is basically him telling the world that he doesn't

understand the psychology behind how women are sexually aroused.

Because men are stimulated visually, right?

So just a picture of a boob or a butt is enough to excite them.

But women? We need some imagination stimulation.

Wait! Before we do this, I want you to tell me every

thought you've had in your head from the moment that we've met.

As if we were vampires.

I have very few friends who actually enjoy dick pics

and even they agree: dicks are weird looking.

They're not that great to look at on their own.

They're just not. They kind of look like the

Graboid Monsters from Tremors (a movie).

*gasps*

Don't move. It's coming!

It's coming!

It also, unfortunately, made me feel kind of violated.

Like, how could I sit here, alone, in my room

trying to meet new cats, and get a face full of

Dick!

Like if a dude burst into my room and shoved his penis in my face,

I could get that fool arrested.

But because someone far away did it

via the most efficient mode of communication possible

the only choice I have is to block everyone.

Cat Snaps included.

But what do you think? Do you like dick pics?

Have you ever sent or received one?

Do you agree that they look like Graboids?

Hi my name is Annemarie and I'm going to be making

our Monsters for the film Tremors.

I just would like to know how do you envision them looking?

Dick!

I'm Anna Akana. Stay awesome Gotham.