about a whole new way to think about sexual activity

今天 我想和大家談談

and sexuality education, by comparison.

如何用一個全新的角度 去思考性活動

If you talk to someone today in America

和性教育 兩者相比

about sexual activity,

如果在美國 今天你和某人談論

you'll find pretty soon you're not just talking

有關性活動的事情

about sexual activity.

你很快就會發現 你不只是在聊

You're also talking about baseball.

性活動

Because baseball is the dominant cultural metaphor

你們可能還會聊到棒球

that Americans use to think about

因為棒球是一種主流文化喻象

and talk about sexual activity,

美國人會想到

and we know that because there's

聊天談到性生活時

all this language in English

我們會知道是因為

that seems to be talking about baseball

在英文裡 所有這種言語

but that's really talking about sexual activity.

都聽起來好像是在講棒球

So, for example, you can be a pitcher or a catcher,

但是其實都是在談論性活動

and that corresponds to whether you

舉個例子 你是位投手或是捕手

perform a sexual act or receive a sexual act.

但其實在比喻

Of course, there are the bases,

你是主動方還是被動方

which refer to specific sexual activities

當然說上了幾壘這種就更不用說了

that happen in a very specific order,

每一壘都代表特定的性活動進度

ultimately resulting in scoring a run

發生在一個非常特定的順序

or hitting a home run,

最後就是要跑回本壘得分

which is usually having vaginal intercourse

或轟出一支全壘打

to the point of orgasm,

那通常指的是發生第一次性行為

at least for the guy.

就有高潮

(Laughter)

至少男的會有

You can strike out, which means

(笑聲)

you don't get to have any sexual activity.

你也可能被三振出局 意思是

And if you're a benchwarmer,

你沒有進行任何性活動

you might be a virgin or somebody who for

如果你是一位板凳球員

whatever reason isn't in the game,

那可能表示 你是一位處男、處女

maybe because of your age or because of your ability

或是一位與這場無關的人

or because of your skillset.

可能是因為你的年紀或能力

A bat's a penis,

或是因為你的技巧

and a nappy dugout is a vulva, or a vagina.

球棒指的是男性生殖器

A glove or a catcher's mitt is a condom.

球員休息區則是指女性陰唇或陰道

A switch-hitter is a bisexual person,

手套或是捕手套就是保險套

and we gay and lesbian folks play for the other team.

如果說一個人能夠左右開弓 意思是他是一位雙性戀者

And then there's this one:

不管是男同志還是女同志

"if there's grass on the field, play ball."

還有一句話是這麼說的

And that usually refers to

『只要球場上有草，就可以打球了』

if a young person, specifically often a young woman,

這通常是指

is old enough to have pubic hair,

如果一位年輕人 通常指的是年輕女性

she's old enough to have sex with.

她的年紀已經夠大 開始會長陰毛

This baseball model is incredibly problematic.

也表示她已經到適當年紀 可以與他人有性行為

It's sexist. It's heterosexist.

拿棒球來比喻「性」會造成非常多問題

It's competitive. It's goal-directed.

這種比喻是性別主義 是異性戀主義

And it can't result in healthy sexuality

具有競爭意味 而且是目標導向

developing in young people or in adults.

這種比喻方式無法導致

So we need a new model.

讓年輕人或成人發展健康的性活動

I'm here today to offer you that new model.

所以我們需要一個新的模範

And it's based on

今天我在這裡就是要給大家看看新的模組

pizza.

這是以

Now pizza is something that is universally understood

披薩為模組

and that most people associate with a positive experience.

現在人人都知道披薩

So let's do this.

並且大多數人對披薩都有正向經驗

Let's take baseball and pizza and compare it

所以我們來試試看

when talking about three aspects of sexual activity:

我們拿棒球和披薩來比較一下

the trigger for sexual activity,

談到性活動的三個面向的時候

what happens during sexual activity,

性活動的觸發點

and the expected outcome of sexual activity.

在從事性活動的時候

So when do you play baseball?

以及希望性活動帶來的結果

You play baseball when it's baseball season

所以你在打棒球的時候?

and when there's a game on the schedule.

你會在球季開始的時候打棒球

It's not exactly your choice.

有一場排定的比賽的時候

So if it's prom night or a wedding night

你無法選擇

or at a party or if our parents aren't home,

所以如果是舞會之夜或婚禮之夜

hey, it's just batter up.

或是在派對上或如果我們的父母不在家

Can you imagine saying to your coach,

我們就準備來翻雲覆雨

"Uh, I'm not really feeling it today,

你能想像一下 對你的教練說

I think I'll sit this game out."

我今天狀態不太好

That's just not the way it happens.

我想我還是不要上場比賽

And when you get together to play baseball,

事情不是這樣子的

immediately you're with two opposing teams,

你們在一起打棒球的時候

one playing offense, one playing defense,

馬上就要分成兩隊

somebody's trying to move deeper into the field.

一邊扮演進攻方 另一邊扮演防守方

That's usually a sign to the boy.

有人想試著更深入球場

Somebody's trying to defend people moving into the field.

那通常是指的是男生

That's often given to the girl.

有人試著防守不讓人進入

It's competitive.

通常指的是女生

We're not playing with each other.

競爭非常激烈

We're playing against each other.

我們不是在玩

And when you show up to play baseball,

我們是在互相對抗

nobody needs to talk about what we're going to do

你要去打棒球的時候

or how this baseball game might be good for us.

大家都知道我們要做什麼

Everybody knows the rules.

這場球賽對我們有什麼好處

You just take your position and play the game.

大家都知道規則

But when do you have pizza?

你就只要站好你的位置 開始比賽

Well, you have pizza when you're hungry for pizza.

但是你什麼時候會去吃披薩?

It starts with an internal sense, an internal desire, or a need.

當然是在你非常想吃披薩的時候 你就會去吃披薩

"Huh. I could go for some pizza."

這是源自於一種內在的感受、欲望或是需求

(Laughter)

我想去吃披薩

And because it's an internal desire,

(笑聲)

we actually have some sense of control over that.

因為這是一種內在的欲望

I could decide that I'm hungry

事實上我們有些許控制感 想去控制內在欲望

but know that it's not a great time to eat.

我可以決定 我很餓

And then when we get together with someone for pizza,

但我知道現在還不到吃飯的時候

we're not competing with them,

我們跟他人一起去吃披薩的時候

we're looking for an experience

我們不是在跟他們競爭

that both of us will share

我們是在尋找一種經驗

that's satisfying for both of us,

讓我們兩個能夠共同分享

and when you get together for pizza with somebody,

同時滿足我們雙方

what's the first thing you do?

我們跟某人一起去吃披薩的時候

You talk about it.

第一件事你會做什麼?

You talk about what you want.

你會討論要吃那種披薩

You talk about what you like.

你會說出你的需求

You may even negotiate it.

你會談到你喜歡什麼東西

"How do you feel about pepperoni?" (Laughter)

你甚至可能會忽略它

"Not so much, I'm kind of a mushroom guy myself."

你覺得義式香腸好不好吃?(笑聲)

"Well, maybe we can go half and half."

感覺還好 我個人比較喜歡吃洋菇

And even if you've had pizza with somebody

也許我們可以各來一點

for a very long time,

即使你跟某人一起吃披薩

don't you still say things like,

已經有一段很長的時間

"Should we get the usual?"

難道妳不會說這種話 就像是

(Laughter)

我們應該常吃嗎?

"Or maybe something a little more adventurous?"

(笑聲)

Okay, so when you're playing baseball,

或者做一些更有冒險感覺的事情

so if we talk about during sexual activity,

好 所以你在打棒球的時候

when you're playing baseball,

所以我們在從事性活動的時候 談到棒球

you're just supposed to round the bases

你在打棒球的時候

in the proper order one at a time.

你只要去跑壘

You can't hit the ball and run to right field.

在一定的順序之下 一次上一壘

That doesn't work.

你不能擊球

And you also can't get to second base and say,

那樣沒用

"I like it here. I'm going to stay here."

你也不能跑到二壘 說

No.

我喜歡在這裡 我想待在這裡

And also, of course, with baseball, there's, like,

不行

the specific equipment and a specific skill set.

當然 說到棒球 當然有

Not everybody can play baseball. It's pretty exclusive.

特定的裝備和技巧組合

Okay, but what about pizza?

不是每個人都可以打棒球

When we're trying to figure out what's good for pizza,

好 但是披薩呢?

isn't it all about what's our pleasure?

我們試著要了解披薩有什麼好吃的時候

There are a million different kinds of pizza.

這不都與我們的意願有關嗎?

There's a million different toppings.

有一百萬種不同的披薩

There's a million different ways to eat pizza.

有一百萬種不同的配料

And none of them are wrong. They're different.

有一百萬種不同的披薩吃法

And in this case, difference is good,

都沒有錯 他們都不一樣

because that's going to increase the chance

就這個例子而言 有差異是件好事

that we're having a satisfying experience.

因為這將能夠增加機會

And lastly, what's the expected outcome of baseball?

讓我們有個滿意的經驗

Well, in baseball, you play to win.

最後這場棒球賽期望的結果是什麼?

You score as many runs as you can.

在棒球領域而言，你打棒球是為了要獲勝

There's always a winner in baseball,

你盡可能多跑壘得分

and that means there's always a loser in baseball.

打棒球的時候 一定會有贏家

But what about pizza?

也就是說 也會有輸家

Well, in pizza, we're not really --

但披薩呢?

there's no winning. How do you win pizza?

就披薩而言 我們不是真的

You don't. But you do look for,

這方面沒有輸贏 你要怎麼贏得披薩?

"Are we satisfied?"

你沒辦法 但是你會去找披薩

And sometimes that can be different amounts

我們滿意嗎?

over different times or with different people

有時候 我們吃的數量會不一樣

or on different days.

次數不一樣 或是跟不同人一起吃

And we get to decide when we feel satisfied.

或是在不同日子

If we're still hungry, we might have some more.

我們必須決定我們什麼時候覺得滿意

If you eat too much, though,

如果我們還很餓 可能就多吃一點

you just feel gross.

如果你吃太多

(Laughter)

你只會覺得想吐

So what if we could take this pizza model

(笑聲)

and overlay it on top of sexuality education?

所以假使我們拿這個披薩模組

A lot of sexuality education that happens today

套用在性教育上

is so influenced by the baseball model,

今日許多性教育

and it sets up education that can't help

都深受棒球模組的影響

but produce unhealthy sexuality in young people.

以這種模組建立起的教育

And those young people become older people.

不得不對年輕人產生不健康的性活動

But if we could create sexuality education

讓那些年輕人的思想變得更老化

that was more like pizza,

但是如果我們能創造出一套性教育方式

we could create education that invites people

更像是披薩譬喻的方法

to think about their own desires,

我們創造出一套教育方法 邀請民眾

to make deliberate decisions about what they want,

思考他們自己的性欲

to talk about it with their partners,

經過深思熟慮做下他們想要的決定

and to ultimately look for

跟他們的父母談談「性」

not some external outcome

最後

but for what feels satisfying,

不是要尋找外部結果

and we get to decide that.

而是要尋找怎樣會讓我們覺得滿意

You may have noticed

我們必須決定

in the baseball and pizza comparison,

你們可能已經注意到

under the baseball, it's all commands.

在棒球和披薩的比較之下

They're all exclamation points.

在棒球領域 都是命令的方式

But under the pizza model, they're questions.

他們都是驚嘆號

And who gets to answer those questions?

但是在披薩模組 他們都是問號

You do. I do.

誰會回答這些問題呢?

So remember, when we're thinking about

你會 我也會

sexuality education and sexual activity,

所已請記得 當我們想到

baseball, you're out.

性教育 性活動

Pizza is the way to think about healthy,

棒球的時候 你就出局了

satisfying sexual activity,

披薩是一種方式 思考健康

and good, comprehensive sexuality education.

令人滿意的性活動

Thank you very much for your time.

和適當且具廣泛性的性教育

(Applause)

謝謝大家